The next morning

He felt the bile crawling up his throat, he never been this drunk in his life. He couldn't remember fuck all. He felt the sensation coming as he jumped up at the bed and tripped over a body on the floor. He covered his hand as he borked harshly. Waking the body's on the floor. He scampered of the ground and makes it to the toilet into entering the content of his stomach. He felt rough; He grabbed hold of the sink and shakily and slowly pulled himself up. He didn't even realise that six pairs of eyes were watching. He was taken by his appearance. He knew he has sex last night, the sore red marks running to the top of his neck to his collar, he touched the mark and groaned in frustration. He winced at the pain in the back of his throat. The nasty red scratch marks running down his body. He never had been so disgusted in himself in all his life. Looked at his self in disgusted as he takes his hand back and swings it at the mirror smashing it to a million pieces.

'NO KURT!' A voice shouted as he stammered back and crashed into the wall. The boys had enough and ran to the rescue Blaine and Wes carefully cleaned up Kurt's battered hand and knuckles from the shards of glass As the others cleaned the glass scatted all over the bathroom floor. Nothing got said for the next couple of hours, no one knew what to say.

Kurt rubbed his temples with his two index fingers, as he felt a tapping on his back. He turned around to notice Jeff standing there with his eyes on the group. Without looking up he passed over to pills to Kurt and sighed. Kurt has never seen his look so depressed. Kurt shakily stood up and walked over to Jeff and lifted his chin up so he could see them big brown eyes.

'pretty boy...I don't know what the fuck I did last night. So why don't you explain to me why you won't even look at me in the eye aye? Why you having said fuck all to me!' Kurt was breathing heavily now, he always got angry. And always took it out on the wrong people. Jeff looks into Kurt's eyes as a tear down his face.

'Kurt, please calm down. Your scaring Jeff' Blaine took a step forward until he seen a hand held up to his face. 'Come on Kurt please look at Jeff! Look at us!' Kurt took a breath and looked over to Jeff he was in a ball in the corner his knees to his chin sobbing softly. Kurt cocked his head to the side and studied the boy; he looked scarred more scared from that meeting in the canteen with Skyla. Kurt took a step back and cursed under his breath. He sat down on the floor, and took a deep breath. Everyone was looking at Kurt now waiting for him to talk. Kurt looked around and closed his eyes and started.

'It started when I was seven, no one would talk to me no one would play with me because I was the freak of the neighbourhood. I didn't always be this angry all the time. I wouldn't dare lay a finger on anyone.' Everyone sat silence they didn't won't to interrupt. They knew this was going to be hard for him. He took a deep breath and carried on.

'I was a nice kid, always did what I was told. Good grades always had manors. Never spoken back to anyone. I would sit on my own at lunch time or break time because no one would want to. I was a no body; I never got noticed... I was lonely. Never in my life had I been more depressed in my life. When I was 12 the bullying got worst. I don't think I can go into detail I will someday but not now I just don't think I could handle it' they all nodded in agreement and kept their mouths shut.

'I got sexually assaulted by a Homophobic closet jock, Got gang raped, and got stabbed in the stomach because i wore some pretty loud clothes to school that day and nearly died' they all gasped. Kurt looked around and everyone had tears in their eyes.

'That's when I started using my bad boy mask, and started to take shit from no body; i beat the shit out of the lot of them that caused me shit throughout my life. I tortured them how they tortured me. I made their life a living hell for 2 years no one ever went near me after that. I was still lonely but i didn't care because I was strong on the outside but no one ever did see that i was weak in the inside. My Twin brothers were in a car accident two years ago and died.' There where pitied looks around the room but he avoided them he didn't want pity he just needed them to listen. He points to nick and Jeff. '

That's why am so protective over use. You remind me of them, your laughter, your happiness your smile. It just... it's weird. I get all protective and sappy around you guys because at the end of the day you guys are the only people I have now. And I don't want to lose you. I think after they died I started to get angry all the time blaming myself and everyone around for the happened to them. I got put on pretty high dosage of pills for my anger but they make me feel numb but very happy. And I don't want happy being a forced feeling so I stopped taking them. Am not making excuses up either' Kurt stood up and opened the drew and pulled out I container, he sat back down and opened it. It contained all sorts of pills. He explained everyone to them.

Depression

Anxiety Disorder

Anorexia

Major depressive disorder

They have all been unopened, still sealed in the packaging.

'I know use where scared about whatever I did last night or said. But I black out when am angry that's why I never know what happens after it. Am fucking sorry you have to go through all this shit. I am fucked up piece of shit that's god nothing better to do in life that kill it.' Kurt sighed and puts his palms in his eyes and rubs them

'Kurt...We were just scared honey no one has ever seen you that bad it, Where so sorry. We didn't know! You're so strong Kurt the strongest person we will ever know' Blaine pulls away Kurt's hands from his face and pulls his into a deathly hug, Everyone soon following wiping away they stray tears and giggling like teenage girls.

Kurt pulls back and looks back at his friends he knew he couldn't do what he did last night, he went to his mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of water and grabbed his container full off pills.

'Kurt, what are you doing?' Sebastian calmly said as they all look over and watch him like hawks.

'Am going to take them, and if I don't your all going to make me take them, whatever id did last night was shitty. And I don't want to use a again oh and these pills make me horny as fuck. So you know don't mind me if i pop a boner' and with that he pops the 10 pills is his mouth and swallows. Everyone giggles as they turn into fits a laughs. He looks over to the boys and they were all smiling there perfectly straight pearly white teeth at him. If you looked at it for a while it was kinda freaky. He smiled back and starts to run his face. He could feel them kicking in damn. It was a odd feeling like he didn't feel depressed, felt like he wanted to stuff a cake in his mouth. But he knew this was all fake but he couldn't be mad. Why could he? He didn't feel cold hearted anymore he felt warm.

The boys seen Kurt's slight odd mood change his smile was bigger, and it was an actually smile not a smirk. His eyes where brighter than normal, glazed over as he continues to smile. He shakes his head and stands up and tackles the boys with a hug!

'Thank you guys! It really means a lot you know? You mean so much to me!' Kurt happy cheerful voice shocking the rest of the boys. He looks at Blaine. And bites his lip.

'Blainers I need to get of you now' Blaine gave a confused look, and looks at Kurt's shaky body posture.

'OH MY GOD! Did I hurt you? Blaine cried out in panic Kurt grabs both his arms and pulls then above his head.

'No silly and stop squirming you making my throbbing erection worst' Blaine laughs with the others as he feels Kurt cock through his sweatpants. He bites his lips. Fuck his cock felt fucking huge! Kurt picks himself up and walks into the bathroom shutting the door behind him. He bites his lip hungrily he couldn't remember this long he had an erection this strained before. He stripped all his clothes off and locked the door

Kurt looked down to his swollen organ, debating whether he should wank himself off to relieve his tension before he went out. He leaned against the sink in the middle of the bathroom, intensely focused on his massive cock, trying to us his will-power to pull his flag down, at least his half mast. He bites his lip making himself draw blood; He slowly moves his hand down towards his throbbing cock and grabs hold and strokes down his shaft. He moans quietly, and he starts to quicken the pace. Damn he thought. He feels the tingling sensation throughout his body making his feet curl as he arches his back and with a groan he comes all over his hand. He shakes as he comes down from his high.

"Dam starting to like these pills" Kurt panted out as he got changed quickly and washed his hands. He made a beeline to the bathroom door.

He goes back in the room to see the guys sprawled out fast asleep. He smiles a dopey smile he picks up Blaine, Sebastian and Wes and David on his queen sized bed and places a comforter on them. He does the same with Jeff and Nick placing them on his double coach he leans down and kissing them both on their forehead removing Jeff's hair of his head and sighs. He missed his brothers so much. He sits down on his desk chair placing he palms in his eyes. He could feel the pills warring off. He standing up and makes his way to the kitchen. He was in need to quench his thirst.

He gets back by his dorm room as he hears shaken sobs, he dashes in there to see Jeff curled up asleep thrashing around - He was having a nightmare.

Kurt quickly made his way over to Jeff stroking his hair as the small boy sobs silently he does a thing he hasn't done in years

SING.

I didn't know today will be our last,

That I'll have to say goodbye to you so fast,

Am so numb I can't feel anymore,

Praying you'll just walk back through that door.

And tell me that I was only dreaming,

You're not really gone as long as I believe.

. There will be another angel around the throne tonight,

Your love lives on inside of me,

I will hold on tight,

It's not my place to question, only god knows why...

Am just jealous of the angels around the throne tonight.

I've always made my troubles feel so small,

And you was always there to catch me when I fall,

In a world where hero's come and go.

God just took the only one I know.

So I'll hold you as close as I can,

Longing for the pain when I see your face again,

But am still there!

God must need another angel around the throne tonight,

You love lives inside of me and I will hold on tight,

It's not my place the question,

Only god knows why...

Am just jealous of the angels around the throne tonight

Say Halleluiah

Halleluiah

Halleluiah.

Jeff's sobs calmed slowly, and in the first time in four years Kurt cried. For Jeff for his life for his dad, his mum, and his brothers his sobbing coming erratic. He curled himself in a ball and let everything out.

But he didn't know the laptop camera was on. Filming the whole thing.