Ninja Tales from Another Dimension!

Hey guys!!! Here are just some side stories that I just thought up for Naruto. I've tried working them in with my current stories, but they just don't seem to fit. So, without further ado, here's the second one. Warning: this update contains strong language; those who do not like swear words should leave now. I own nothing.

Story 2: The Results of the Fire Daimyo's Decision

As the Fire Daimyo and his personal guard traveled in his private chariot, back to his home in the Land of Fire's capital city, he was preparing for the conference that was to be held in regards to his decrees that were made in the what was once Konohagakure. He was shocked to see at first hand how much damage the Akatsuki "leader" known as Pain could do by himself, let alone be able to control six different bodies at once. He was even more shocked to learn how one lone ninja, the Kyubi's jinchuriki named Naruto Uzumaki, had single-handedly defeated the god-like Pain. But that wasn't the reason why he made the trek to the ruined village. During Pain's attack, The Fifth Hokage was forced to use a powerful medical ninjutsu on all of the ninja that were on the battlefield and was rendered comatose, with the doctors having no idea of when she would wake up. The villagers needed a new Hokage if Konoha were to be rebuilt and to make sure that a catastrophe like this were to never happen again.

Just moments after the defeat of Pain, An emergency meeting was held in order to discuss the restoration plans for the village, as well as determine who should be the acting Hokage while Tsunade was indisposed. Shikaku Nara, head of the Nara shinobi clan, had nominated Kakashi Hatake as a possibly candidate for the acting Sixth Hokage. His advisors, at first, thought that that was a grand idea considering that Hatake was a student of the late Fourth Hokage, Minato Namikaze. That, and considering his reputation as an ANBU captain, and as the infamous "Kakashi of the Sharingan", he would be more than capable of defending the village.

He was about to follow through with the advisor's recommendation, when a Konoha elder named Danzo brought up the point that Kakashi believed in the Third Hokage's teachings, and that said teachings had resulted in Orochimaru going rogue, the Sand and Sound invasion, the formation of Akatsuki, and Sasuke Uchiha being able to defect from Konoha. At the same time, the elder declared that he would was the only logical choice for the position, as he would make Konoha the powerful village that it should be. That little outburst was enough for his other advisor to quickly recommend Danzo as a more suitable leader than Kakashi, and that was more than enough incentive for him to grant the one-armed elder the honor. Shikaku had tried to persuade him and his advisors not to buy into Danzo's "fascism" and his "zealous quest for power", but he had already made his decision Besides, who did that ninja think he was believing that he could tell the Daimyo of The Land of Fire what to do.

The daimyo was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't even realize that he was already back at the capital until one of his advisors had alerted him. Seeing for himself that his trip was finally over, the elderly leader made his way to the main conference room for a press meeting, with his personal body guards and advisors following him.

22

Conference Room

The room was filled with citizens (high, middle, and lower class),fellow politicians, and reporters of all kind,; all of them were sitting in the large conference room, waiting with anxiousness. All of them had heard some sort of rumor that Konoha had suffered a devastating attack; an attack far more worse than with the Nine Tailed Fox Demon.

'If only they knew what happened.' thought the Fire Daimyo. As he approached the podium that was set up on the stage and cleared his throat, the murmuring immediately stopped and everyone turned their attention to their ruler.

"My fellow citizens, I have come with grave news. The village of Konohagakure has been completely destroyed by the Akatsuki leader known as Pain…" That was as far as he could say before the audience broke out with shouts of shock and worry. If such man with the power to destroy an entire village by himself was up and about, then no one would be safe from him. The daimyo just allowed them to absorb the news for a while before he proceeded.

"Yes, yes, I too was shocked to hear about the fate of our beloved Konohagakure. But have no fear, Pain is no longer a threat to this world. He has been single-handedly defeated by the Konoha ninja named Naruto Uzumaki." This, once again, cause the audience to break into murmurs, only this time the gathered people were astonished and extremely impressed with the young man's heroics.

The Daimyo waited for the crowd to become quiet again. "Unfortunately, as a result of the battle, several of members of the Konoha Shinobi Corps. are in need of recuperation, including the Fifth Hokage. She is currently in a coma that was brought on by severe chakra exhaustion after she risked her life in order to reduce the number of deaths from Pain's ultimate attack. Luckily, an acting Sixth Hokage has been selected and is now overseeing the restoration of Konoha. And to ensure that…"

"Wait a minute, my lord," said a male reporter. "you never told us who you selected as temporary Hokage for Konoha."

"Hm? Oh, yes, of course. After going over the possible candidates, I have decided to make former Foundation leader Danzo the acting Hokage."

This caused the audience to become deathly silent. But the Daimyo paid no attention to this reaction, as he was glad that he wasn't interrupted again. "And I have full confidence that Danzo will…"

"ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?" a man wearing glasses and a neck brace from the front of the room shouted. "WHAT THE FUCK!?"

These outbursts were not what the Daimyo had expected to hear. Throughout his term, he learned how to steel himself against the outrageous "exaggerations" that his critics would use. But he had never expected such vulgar exclamations to be directed at him.

"Now…now see here," said the Daimyo, "……I"

"I THROW MY SHOES AT YOUR FAGGOT ASS!!!!!" Instantly the man grabbed one of his shoes and chucked it at the Daimyo with a loud "SHIT!". Survival instincts taking over, the elderly man just barely ducked out of the way of the footwear projectile. But the Daimyo didn't have time to recover from the shock, as he saw the attacker's other shoe flying towards him. As he ducked the second projectile he heard the man shout out "PISS!" at that fact that he missed his target.

Two of the Fire Daimyo's guards reacted instantly, tackling the shoe thrower before he could renew his assault on their master. The crowd immediately became a chaotic mass with several people wanting to get a closer look at the scuffle that was going on. And as the remaining three bodyguards quickly escorted the ruler of the Land of Fire, the elderly ruler heard the delinquent cursing at him as he was being dragged away to the police station.

"DOWHOA, SHIT!!! DAMN IT!!! YOU ASSHOLE!!! YOU CAN'T DO SHIT WITHOUT YOUR BALLS!!!"

22

Interrogation Room, Police Headquarters

"Look pal, here's the deal." said the exasperated police officer. He was currently cursing luck for the umpteenth time for being in charge of this operation. All you need to do is sign this form, and you'll be home free." finished the officer, as he moved a form and pen forward."

"What the hell is that, and why do I have to sign it?" asked the detained man, who was later identified as Ryu.

"It's a written apology to the Fire Daimyo." replied the officer.

"You mean Lord Cluster Fuck?"

"I-I-I beg your pardon!?"

"This letter, is it to Lord Cluster Fuck?"

"It is for the Fire Daimyo, apologizing for your assault, you moron!!! Show some respect!!!!"

"Fuck him!!! He's a dumbass!!! And I ani't signing no apology or anything, especially to that asshole! In fact, I'd like to meet the mother fucker who thought that it would be a great idea to make that dickhead Fire Daimyo, and shove a broom up his ass!!!" declared Ryu, as he pushed the prepared apology back towards the officer.

"Is that your final answer?" asked the guard.

"You bet it is." said Ryu.

The officer just sighed. "Well, then I'm afraid that you will have to be incarcerated for two months."

"WHAT!?"

"What did you expect? You threw your shoes at the Fire Daimyo. What, you didn't think that there would be any consequences? He sent us an order to have you imprisoned for two months unless you sign that written apology." said the officer.

"THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!" shouted Ryu.

"Hey, I'm just doing my job, so don't start cussing at me. I may not like what I'm ordered to do, but I still have to obey my superior officers." said the policeman. "Now, are you going to allow me to peacefully escort you to your cell, or are you going to require me to take more drastic measures?"

After an intense moment of silence, Ryu spoke. "Fine, I'll go quietly. But can I at least get my one phone call? You guys do allow prisoners one phone call, right?"

The officer just mentally sighed in relief, knowing that things weren't going to be anymore hectic as they already were.

"Yes. After we get you to your cell, you are allowed one phone call." said the officer, thinking that Ryu wanted to call his attorney. And the poor sap was going to need a good one considering his position, even though the officer wasn't a big fan of their current Daimyo's policies.

22

Inside the Capitol's High Council Chambers

"I told you making Danzo acting Hokage was a horrible idea!" shouted one of the Daimyo's advisors. The emergency meeting was immediately called forth after the shoe debacle occurred and the Fire Daimyo was ushered away from the conference.

"It's been just nineteen hours since you made the decision, and already there's this radical protest against you and your policies, my lord! Not even last year's tax increase on resources garnered such a negative reaction as this!"

"Hogwash, Han!" shouted another advisor, who incidentally was the one who convinced the Daimyo to select Danzo over Kakashi. "It was thanks to Tsunade, a student of the Third Hokage, that Konoha was completely destroyed. It was time for someone with new ideals to lead our ninja village."

"Have you forgot that it was Pain, the frickin' LEADER of the Akatsuki that attacked Konoha!? The same person who single-handedly defeated Hanzo of the Salamander, and then slaughtered his entire family!? No leader has the best defense against someone like that! In fact, if it weren't for Tsunade's sacrifice, hundreds, if not thousands of ninjas would have been killed before Uzumaki arrived!"

"Nonetheless, Tsunade was the leader when the attack occurred, which resulted in Konoha's total destruction. No matter who is attacking, a truly competent leader wouldn't have allowed their entire village be destroyed. Hopefully, with our new Sixth now in charge, Konoha will become even stronger than before."

"You stupid fu…"

"ENOUGH!" bellowed the Fire Daimyo, causing his two chief advisors to immediately stop their fighting, and turn their attention to their employer. "This bickering is unbefitting for men of your stature!"

He then turned his attention to Han. "My decision on making Danzo the sixth Hokage stands, Han. It was clear that Hiruzen's ways of running things had a habit of backfiring on themselves. He allowed Orochimaru to escape, which led to the Oto-Suna invasion. And then Tsunade, his successor, allowed Sasuke Uchiha to defect without labeling him a missing-nin; now he's part of the Akatsuki. Kakashi would only be just bad, if not even worse, since he is connected to Hiruzen through Minato Namikaze and Jiraiya."

"But my lord," began Han, "have you forgotten that Konoha had prospered when Hiruzen was in power? Or that the village's medical corps was vastly improved when Tsunade took the title?"

"Yes, yes, that's all very well and all." replied the Daimyo. "But because of their hesitance in eliminating potentially dangerous people, they have actually done more harm than good. In fact, according to Danzo and the Konoha Elders, Jiraiya himself had provided training to Pain when he was still a child when he could have killed him on the spot."

"And that's another thing. Don't you think that it was a bit odd that Danzo had such detailed data about Pain and how he had turned to darkness, even though he was supposedly stationed inside Konoha when the event occurred? And as for Koharu and Homura, do you not find it strange that they constantly fought against the Third and Fifth Hokages when they were in power while strongly supporting whatever policy Danzo proposed!? Clearly there is something off about that Danzo character, and the fact that you made him acting Hokage so quickly will only make things worse for the village and yourself."

"Oh please, is that the best you can do? Pay no attention to Han, my lord. It's as clear as day that he's just upset that you didn't appoint his first choice to be Hokage."

"Alright, listen here Shin, you fucking piece of…."

"I SAID ENOUGH!!!!" shouted the Fire Daimyo. "I said that my decision stands! I will not have anymore of your pointless complaining about how you didn't get your way in my courtroom, advisor Han!"

Shin just sneered at Han. Han, however, just got up from his seat and made his way to the door.

"Han, just where do you think you're going? This meeting is not over yet!" said the Daimyo.

"Well, it is for me!" shouted Han, as he turned to face the Fire Daimyo with a look of disgust and anger on his face. "I originally agreed to be your advisor because I believed that you were different. Instead of the our past corrupt daimyos that only wanted "yes-men" advisors to agree to whatever horrendous law they created, I thought you truly wanted to change your country and world for the better. But it looks like I was wrong on both counts; you are even worse than any corrupt daimyo! You, my lord, are nothing more but a spineless, arrogant, withered old fart that needs his advisors to make all of the hard decisions for him!!! And I'll be damned if I associate myself with you, and your court any longer!!!"

And with that Han spat on the floor, before he stormed out of the room's door while roughly shoving aside a secretary that was holding a telephone.

"Pardon me, my lord," said the young woman as she gave a respectful bow, "but there is a phone call for you and the advisors. It's from the Central Police Station."

"Ah, it appears that the scoundrel that attacked you earlier has now seen the error in his ways, my lord. His guilt must be so severe that he must have wanted to call us in person." said Shin, trying to gain more favor from the Fire Daimyo after Han's earlier rebellious display. Now that Han was gone, he'd be a fool not to take advantage of the situation.

"My lord," continued Shin, "why don't we put the offender on speaker, so that we all may hear his apology?"

"Hm…Yes, an excellent suggestion, Shin. Ms. Mutsu, if you would please put the phone on speaker?" asked the aged leader. Ms. Mutsu did as she was asked.

"Hello, this is the Fire Daimyo speaking…I believe you having to say to me?" said The Fire Daimyo. However, the response he got was not the one he wanted or expected.

"YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!! PIIIIISSSSS!!!!! GO COUNT YOUR DICKS!!!!!" The sound of a phone receiver being roughly hung up was the only other sound that was heard before silence overcame the entire room. Shin was the first person to break the silence.

"No need to worry, my lord. I'm sure that he'll realize his mistake, and beg for your forgiveness. And soon, this whole debacle will all be forgotten."

22

Several Days Later

Things only got worse for the Fire Daimyo in regards with his decision. Ryu's act only sparked more protest groups that assembled outside the daimyo's house and the capitol building. The man couldn't go anywhere in the town without his bodyguards, since several people began to throw things such as tomatoes, eggs, and garbage. But even with the bodyguards, the Daimyo couldn't protect himself from the insulting names that the people called him ranging from "dickhead" to "senile old fart".

His wife, Shijimi, wasn't spared from the wrath of the protesters either. One day, she had tearfully told him how all of the cashiers at the mall were giving her dirty looks when she was out shopping, and how patrons of her favorite restaurant had called her a "bitch" and a "fat ass" while she was having lunch. Not even her pet cat, Tora, was spared; as children everywhere started a game of who could throw the most water balloons at the animal.

Despite all of this, the Fire Daimyo stuck to his decision as if his life depended on it. He still believed that things in Konoha, and then The Land of Fire, would smooth out eventually, and then his life would go back to normal.

Several More Days Later

"…What have I done?" was the question that the aged Fire Daimyo asked. In his hands were the reports from the Kages of the other Elemental Nations. According to General Mifune of The Land of Iron, who was hosting the Kage Summit that took place after Pain's attack, Danzo had purposely tried to manipulate him into giving the warmonger more power through the use of a mind-manipulating power that came from a Sharingan eye that he stole from Shushi Uchiha. When both the Akatsuki and Sasuke Uchiha attacked the Summit, Danzo and his entourage escaped, although they were followed as well by Kirigakure nin Ao. The Fifth Mizukage also reported that during the pursuit, Danzo ordered one of his men to steal Ao's salvaged Byakugan, the very kekkei genkai that exposed Danzo's criminal plot in the first place. If it hadn't been for the Mizukage's timely intervention, Danzo would've gained another stolen dojutsu kekkei genkai.

Once the news had hit Konoha, the villagers and jonin were outraged and decided to take immediate action. The jonin immediately selected Kakashi Hatake as the Sixth Hokage. When Danzo arrived back to Konoha after failing both of his attempts of stealing power, he was met with the entire population, both ninja and civilian, roaring for his blood. Even with his Foundation members, he didn't stand much of a chance. For his first act as Hokage, Kakashi had Danzo and all of his Foundation members executed on the grounds for trying to usurp power in the Five Great Nations Alliance and for nearly causing Konoha to become the target of attack from the four other major Elemental Nations. It was after Danzo's execution that it was revealed that he had a genetically-altered right arm that contained ten implanted Sharingan eyes, as well as cells that belonged to Hashirama Senju which allowed him to perform limited Wood Style ninjutsu. This type of horrendous genetic modification was striking similar to some of Orochimaru's experiments that were discovered by the Leaf, which led to the conclusion that Danzo had contacts with Orochimaru after his defection all along.

But it only got worse for the Fire Daimyo from then on. The daimyos from other countries were disgusted with his apparent lack of tact when he selected Danzo as the standing Hokage and had lost many of their respect. Several people in both Konoha and in the Land of Fire were calling for him to be replaced with someone of a more sound mind, which was very likely to happen if his rapidly declining approval ratings were any indication. Ryu was now considered a hero amongst the civilians in the Land of fire, after he had served his sentence. All of his once good friends were now ashamed to be associated with him. He was practically up a creek without a paddle.

"How could have everything gone so wrong?" asked the Fire Daimyo to no one in particular

END

22

So there you have it, the second installment. In case any of you were wondering, "Ryu" was my way of paying tribute to Tourettes Guy. This story served mainly as a way for me to vent my frustrations at the Fire Daimyo in NARUTO. I mean, come on! Selecting Danzo as the Sixth Hokage? I have only three words that can sum up that decision: WHAT. THE. FUCK!? And what's worse, was how easily the old man was convinced in letting that bastard become Hokage by a completely false rant from Danzo, and a vote of approval for Danzo from one of his advisors!!! Now, if the advisor had fallen prey to Danzo's Mind-Control technique, then I would've given the daimyo a little bit more leeway. But I seriously doubt it, since Danzo said that he could only use it once, and did it during the Kage Summit. Let it be noted that my use of the Tourettes Guy quotes was not because I thought it was fun to laugh at the man's condition, I just thought they sounded funny and should be directed to the Fire Daimyo. Sorry if this is a bit late. Happy Thanksgiving!!!!