A/N: Thanks goes to Mynxi for working her beta magic on this chapter. Treacle, I love you hard! Obviously, I don't own Twilight, though it would be fun if I did.
E~D~W~A~R~D
It was just a glimpse, a little foretaste, not even a full minute, but I saw it. I saw into Bella's mind. And the image was clear as crystal.
A woman, obviously a vampire, her red eyes attesting to her choice of diet. Dark hair that curled and fell down behind her shoulders. Maria. I recognised her instantly. At first Maria had seemed confused, shocked and maybe even scared. And then her face filled with nothing short of malicious glee. Devious excitement. In my minds eye I replayed what I had witnessed and I could still see her reaching for Bella just before she woke up. I had heard Bella's panicked thoughts, and I could tell that she had no idea who this woman was and that she had never seen her before. This glimpse, as unexpected and astounding as it was, had been engraved onto my brain, a permanent scar on my memories landscape. Even though the peek into Bella's dream was gone as suddenly as it had appeared.
I was standing in the doorway to my bedroom in time to see Bella's eyes snapped open. Other than that, she didn't move. Not an inch, and for a moment, she wasn't even breathing. I stood rigid as the only noise within the room was the rapid beating of her heart while she lay stiff in the bed, my mind trying to make sense of what I had just...seen? It had only been a glimpse, a second, an impossible snapshot. But it was something that I had never seen before, something that I had given up all hope of ever seeing. I was not entirely sure why or how it had happened, or what it was that I had really seen. I could remember it with perfect detail, of course, and what I saw confirmed my theories of the origins of Bella's dreams.
Maria. Which also lead to the easy conclusion that Jasper does, indeed, know about Bella and about us, about what she means to Jasper and I. It would only be a matter of time before he came here. Knowing Jasper as I did, it was possible that he was already here. Waiting for the right moment.
Even though this was something I was already mostly sure of, I was at a momentary loss at what to do about it. I had always known that this would happen. Alice's visions had shown as much when she had approached me all those years ago. I also knew that everything hinged on Bella. The future had already been altered when I left with Alice instead of rejoining Jasper, the tragedy averted. But now it would be a different set of decisions that would carve out our future. Thinking back to what I had just witnessed, Bella had mentioned nothing of Maria when she had finally confessed about her dreams. And simply going off her behaviour right at that moment, it was obvious that she had never seen her before. And 'seen her' was correct, from my view point Maria had been just as shocked at the events as Bella was right now.
"Bella?" I spoke softly, hesitantly, "Are you alright? I...I saw..."
She frowned as she sat in the large bed, pushing herself upright till she was resting against the cool metal headboard. She looked so small in that moment, her hair tussled from sleep and surrounded by layers of white sheets and plush pillows. Thankfully, she looked more rested than I had seen her in recent weeks, the medication that Carlisle had administered seeming to have worked as it should. I smiled as she rubbed her eyes, such a human gesture. And, while her limbs were still heavy from sleep, she wasn't shaking or crying, she hadn't screamed or fretted. Other than her shocked rousing from her sleep, she had been able to enjoy her first restful hours in longer than I cared to remember. She had slept the day away.
"You saw what?" her voice was croaky from sleep, and I handed her a glass of water that Alice slipped into my grasp as she flitted past. I sat down on the edge of the bed as she drank, my fingertips moving gently over her cheek before tucking her hair behind her ear.
I reached for her hand where it lay against the soft sheets, tentatively mapping out her digits, before entwining our hands together. "I saw you."
She was confused, the adorable crease between her eyebrows showed me that much. In that moment it seemed like torture that I had been allowed but a glimpse, only to have her silent and locked to me once again.
"Did Alice have a vision or something?" she asked.
"No...Bella," my tone was somewhat bemused, and I could see the curiosity come alight in her eyes as I went on to clarify. "I heard you."
"Heard me?" she frowned, "Sorry, my neurons aren't firing fast enough yet...have I been talking in my sleep again? I don't remember if I dreamed or not, other than right before I woke up. Which I'm taking as a good thing, although that dream was really creepy. But you've heard me sleep talk before...oh God, did I say something really embarrassing? Or bad? Was it bad?"
I rushed to explain further, not wanting her to panic any more than she already was. "Your mind, love. I heard your thoughts. I saw your dream...just now, just before you woke up."
A maelstrom of emotions swept over her features. "You can hear my mind now?" she asked, her voice shaking. I took her glass from her, setting it on the nearby table before taking both of her hands in mine. I knew that her thoughts had always been the one thing that she had been able to keep to herself, her last vestige of privacy when surrounded by beings such as myself. All equipped with enhanced hearing, scent, and vision. Bella had been wary of that at first, so much so that the first couple of months of being here regularly left her so constipated that Alice had fitted air vents and automatic room fresheners to make her comfortable enough in the house.
"No, not anymore. It was just a glimpse. A snapshot." I could not help my smile; I was so awed by the events. But I was worried. Worried about what this meant, what was coming. Worried that Maria had gained access despite Bella's shield and that she would do again.
"You saw that woman?" she asked, obviously able to remember what had transpired just before waking. She was still curious but a little more relaxed knowing that I hadn't been granted full admittance to her thoughts. As much as I disliked her minds silence, I loved that it all the same. Not only did it provide me solace, but Bella's comfort meant more to me than being able to read her mind.
At her question, I knew that my expression became serious, in turn causing Bella's curious frown to morph into a worried one. "Yes. I saw her."
I sat there as Bella's eyes flitted over my face, studying my expression. I knew what I had to tell her about me, about my past, and what it meant for our future; it would be hard for Bella to hear. It would be hard for me to tell. Part of me hoped that she would understand why I had kept it from her for so long, but the larger part wanted her to be angry at me. Wanted her to find forgiveness through that, something that I deserved given the circumstances.
"I've never seen her before," she said softly, waiting for me to give her more information.
I shook my head, the smile that tugged at my lips was wry and spoke only of my anger at the intrusion that Bella had suffered at the hand of Maria. Jasper's bitch and one time mistress. Any jealousy that I felt at that moment was irrational, Maria was not Jasper's mate, she had only filled the purpose of sexual relief. But the emotion was still present, even with the full knowledge that I had left him all those years ago. I knew that I had a lot to answer for, and not just to Bella.
"No, I expect not." I paused, feeling anguished and cautious. "But I have."
"What?" she asked in shock, her stance changing immediately as she sat up, kneeling in front of me, and looking me straight in my eyes. I did not offer anything else yet, no further explanation, my heart twisting as I allowed the information to sink in for her. I swallowed nervously as Bella's expression dissolved into anger, soon building into rage. "I've just woken up from the best sleep I've had in so long, I've been manipulated into exposing my deepest secrets to you and your family...I've been drugged. You tell me what the hell is going on, and you tell me now, because you damn well obviously know what it is."
"Her name is Maria. She is leader of the Southern Armies, along with her two mates. They are allied with the Volturi. She is what we call a Dreamwalker."
Bella and I had spoken about the Volturi before, even glossed over the Southern Armies, but there was never any depth in our discussions about the vampire ruling class. Bella rubbed her hands over her face, scrubbing the skin and pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes. It was a sure sign that she hadn't fully woken as yet.
"I...I don't understand," she sighed, obviously mentally tired even if her body had finally gotten some of the rest that it craved. "Why would she be...whatever it is that she's doing? Walking in my dreams?"
I frowned, Bella sounded so exasperated, and I really couldn't blame her. I stared hard at the comforter adorning Bella's bed as I gathered my thoughts, darting my tongue out to wet my lips. "Maria's ability is more than just being able to...peruse a person's dreamscape. She can influence them...guide them by manipulating and planting ideas, nudging them towards the right dreams or nightmares depending on what it is that she wants or what she has been ordered to do. The Volturi use her to keep tabs on, and to some extent control, certain humans that may be useful to them."
I watched her then, waited for her to understand what I was saying, I wanted her to connect the dots for herself. She sat there, her eyes darting between mine, and then they slowly widened as what I was saying dawned on her.
"Oh," She breathed out, a slight crease between her brows that disappeared as the realisation hit her. "Oh!" And I knew that she had understood. "She's the reason for my nightmares?" she gasped, her face relaxing into elation and relief. I knew that it was due to her new found knowledge that her nightmares, that seemed so deplorable and sadistic to her, had been because of someone else's influence and invasion. She laughed, grinning like a fool, looking for all the world as if she no longer had a care within it. She was obviously concentrating on that and not on the fact that someone had gained access to her previously impenetrable mind, or about the intrusion at all. "It wasn't me? She gave me those dreams?"
"Those dreams were of her making, though I must tell you that she cannot introduce something that wasn't there in the first place." I hastened to continue when Bella's face dropped and her eyes filled, her head shaking vigorously from side to side. "It could be the most hidden desire, or even a passing thought, but just like Aro has access to each and every thought, idea or desire that has ever crossed a person's mind through just one touch, Maria has access to the mind she is walking in at the time. But to a lesser extent, more that she can..." I trailed off, searching for the right words, "she automatically looks for the darkness within a person's psyche. She is drawn to it and has honed her ability to be able to draw it out."
"But...but, I've never wanted to kill anyone, Edward. Let alone take...pleasure in it," Bella said, her tone begging me to believe her.
"I know, I know, love. But even the most innocent of creatures harbours a darker place inside of them. A place that may never see the light of day, but that gives Maria the weakness she needs to complete the task she has been given."
"Task? She was tasked with attacking my mind?" Bella demanded.
"From what I can tell, yes," I answered simply.
"By who? And why was she able to do it in the first place? You told me that I had a shield, a powerful one, you said it was... Impenetrable was your word of choice, that my possession of such a gift whilst human pointed to a definite gift once I had been turned!"
"I know, I know what I said, Bella. And, truthfully, I have no idea how she managed to get through, I will be discussing the matter with Carlisle, I can assure you. As for the 'who', I think I know."
I reached into my pocket, pulling out the picture I had sketched earlier. I took a moment to look into the eyes of one Jasper Whitlock that stared out at me from the parchment. I knew that it was an accurate depiction of his face, as a vampire not even a photograph would be able to be truer than something drawn from our perfect memory and with our perfect and steady hands. Taking a deep breath, as useless as it may be for my kind, the action still brought about a modicum of bolstered bravado. I was still holding onto some irrational hope that I was wrong and it was simply Maria having her own brand of heartless fun. With that wish repeating in my mind, I passed the sheet of paper over to Bella.
Her shock was palpable in the room, bringing forth memories of Jasper's empathic abilities. I knew from what she had described that he had been a part of her nightmares, his consciousness piggybacking Maria's as they entered Bella. I also knew that his power would have full effect on Bella's emotions, her shield would not automatically hide from him. At least not while still human. The fact brought about more possibilities that I cared to think about, it was imperative that I didn't fall back into the darkness that had shrouded me during the decade spent with Jasper.
Whitlock. My mind reminded me. I used to call him Whitlock, and to him I was Masen. Only moments of pure bliss and hedonistic pleasure that either of us slipped up and called out the other's given names.
Flashback
Philadelphia was wet and dreary as we entered the city limits. Whitlock and I were walking side by side, our collars drawn up as if to ward off the rain, though neither the wetness nor the cold bothered us at all. It was welcome, really, a useful cover. It meant that we were able to walk through the streets in broad daylight, knock shoulders with the populace as it were. Our path was straight and true, the crowds' instinctive parting giving us both the heady feeling of immortals walking among the cattle.
My thoughts revolved around feeding and fucking, even as they wound through the mundane mutterings of the minds around me. Whitlock's mind held most of my attention, the scenarios flashing through his thoughts fuelling my own fantasies and desires. I smirked, laughing quietly when the action scared a young girl that had previously been staring in wonderment at the two of us. It wasn't entertainment of the female variety that Jasper was after today; he wanted to have the victims cum covering its own body as we drained it.
"Your thoughts are spiralling, Whitlock, make a choice and I will make it happen," I spoke, low and needy. He knew exactly what effect his ideas were having on both my libido and thirst. My throat and cock were both burning and in need of attention. I could not imagine ever getting tired of this.
"Find an adequate star for this production to happen, I will find the entertainment," he purred into my ear as he dragged me into a nearby alley and out of sight of any curious stares. "And then I will find you."
End of Flashback
"That's him..." Bella's quiet admission brought me back to the present. "This is the man from my dream, the...the vampire." She looked up at me, her eyes pleading. "Who is he? Why is he doing this to me?"
"His name is Jasper Whitlock, he commands the Volturi's Elite Guard in Aro's name," I intoned, my voice barely anything more than monotone in nature.
"But that doesn't tell me why!" Bella cried out, standing from the bed and fisting her hands in her hair. "Have I done something to offend the Volturi in some way? Or is this some kind of sick joke to these people?"
I stood and tried to reach for her, my chest constricting when she pulled away, only to bang her elbow on the corner of the dresser. "Shit," she cursed, rubbing her humorous quickly.
"You know more, I can tell you know more. I can feel that there is more to this. Please, Edward, please stop torturing me this way," she begged and I choked at her words, torture? "I can see that you're scared to tell me, but I don't care. I DON'T CARE, EDWARD!" she screamed towards the end, throwing her hands down to her side and tears running down her face.
"You are right, Bella...there is so much more to this. Can you...can you sit back down? Please, Bella?"
Shaking her head, she backed up until her back was flush against the windows that lined my room floor to ceiling. "No, just damn well tell me. Just tell me."
I nodded.
Flashback
"Do you remember the first night we met?" Whitlock asked me, unnecessarily, of course I remembered. Even without my kind's indelible memory, that night would forever be ingrained in my mind. Still, I hummed my answer as Whitlock's lips blazed a wet trail down my neck, "You were amazing that night, Masen."
I chuckled, running my hands over his naked shoulders, skimming down over his back. "Was that before or after you masturbated while watching me torture and kill?"
"Mmm, your fall from grace was definitely a beautiful sight." He nipped at my ear, sucking it into his mouth as he moved to cover me completely with his body. The dried blood from out last meal flaked off between us as he moved sinuously above me. "But you know exactly what I was thinking about."
I did. He had been replaying the memory before he voiced his thoughts, a retelling of our first encounter in his mind.
"Hmm, your way of informing me of the mating bond was certainly creative," I groaned out, palming and gripping his ass.
"I didn't hear you complaining, Masen," he murmured, moving against me, his cock just as hard and in need as mine as they ground together. "I remember you begging me to enter you, to fill you."
He had been waiting for me when I left the scene, I could still taste Charles Evanson's blood, was still licking the last drops of Charles' off my teeth as I walked towards him. Things had moved quickly, I had veritably stalked towards him without thought or remorse to my actions. He had met me head on, and his thoughts had been a jumble of want, need, and desire, mixed with surprise and contentment of finding one of his mates. I remember my own surprise, my own questions. I had never thought of another male in the way I was thinking of him right at that moment. He battled my confusion with his hands and mouth on my skin, assuring me that this was perfectly normal, and not something to fight. That we were mated. And it had, indeed, had me begging for him.
I growled, all bass and need, "Are you looking for a repeat performance?"
"Fuck yes," he growled out, lifting his head to suck and lather his fingers with his venom, keeping eye contact as his hand disappeared down to slide his fingers into my ass, stretching me, making me ready for him.
End of Flashback
"The first time I met Jasper Whitlock, I was hunting my first human kill," I spoke softly, looking to the floor instead of Bella's eyes. I could smell her tears, but there was no way I was going to be able to see the recrimination and hate in her eyes. "I had left Carlisle and Esme, having grown disillusioned with the atypical lifestyle."
"Atypical?" Bella asked quietly.
I nodded, still not looking up at her. "It's what other's call us for our choice to drink from animals instead of humans. I wanted to know what human blood tasted like, to see life from a different point of view, so to speak."
"You wanted to see how it was to live without denying your cravings?" Bella asked and I lifted my eyes to hers, surprised at the understanding that I saw there.
I nodded, "Yes. Carlisle and Esme both tried to stop me, of course. But I was set in my decision, and so sure that I could live off the dregs of society. Murderers and rapists, thieves and the like." I paused, and allowed myself to bask in the memories for just a moment before carrying on, "My first victim was Charles Evanson. Esme's husband before her change. He had been abusive, he still was. Not only was I set on making him pay for what he had done to Esme, but for what he was sure to do as his violence intensified as time went on. Jasper...Jasper was there, watching me as I..." tortured, terrorised, mutilated, "killed him. And we spoke soon after."
Steeling myself, I stopped trying to hide and just told her, ignoring her gasp as I did. "We fucked," I said bluntly. It was true. It had been a brutal and animalistic mating, one that had spelled out the violence and bloodshed that would be our lives for the next decade. "That night I found the first of my mates. Our mate."
"Our third?" it was nothing above a whisper, but I heard her as if she had screamed it.
I simply nodded. Nodded and waited for her reaction.
"I..." she frowned deeply, turning from me as she shook her head. "I have no words right now, Edward. No words." I went to talk, but she spun back around, apparently having second thoughts about her earlier estimation of having 'no words'. "Our third, the one that is supposed to complete us is doing this to me? The one who, by the way, you never mentioned. Not once. Not one little mention of the one person in the world that makes us whole! And you left him? Are you going to leave me too? Is that why he's doing this? Is he punishing me?" I went to answer, but instead got a shaking finger in my face from an incensed Bella, "Oh no, I haven't finished yet, Edward! This...this decade, what was it? Rebellion against your upbringing?" I just nodded, "And you killed the bad guys?" She sounded so unsure at the end. Needing me to say that yes, I had indeed killed no innocents. Simply those that had taken or ruined another life. But I couldn't.
"No. Not always," I admitted.
"Not always? Edward...I don't understand. Have you been lying to me all this time?" she gasped, her hands flying to her mouth. "Oh God, you told me you were a virgin!"
"I've only ever been with him, Bella, never...not once have I been with a woman."
"YOU STILL HAD SEX, EDWARD! Any holes a goal, isn't that what they say? You've had your cherry popped, handed in your V-card, and told me that you've been waiting for me all your life." She sat down heavily on the bed. "You told me nothing of feeding on humans, only that you drink nothing but the blood of animals...barring some slip ups. And yet, you spent a whole decade red-eyed, fucking a mate that you have chosen not to tell me about until this moment and drinking from humans. From innocents."
There was nothing I could say. She was completely right, my defence of my virginity was flimsy and her comment about innocents hit home hard. Bella was the kind of girl that we would have targeted, using our charms to tempt her away from her friends and family. We would have basked in taking her virtue, corrupted her purity and then fed on her bliss filled blood. I had not thought about it until that moment, that maybe we had been searching for Bella all along. The thoughts came unbidden and my thirst spiked, as did my arousal. I swallowed convulsively, and shifted to hide my erection, willing myself to think of anything but Jasper and I taking Bella in every conceivable way.
"I do not think that he is punishing you." Bella's head rose slowly to look at me. "It was only a matter of time before he found out about you, about us. It is my guess that he used Maria's gift to introduce himself to you."
Bella's face went hard and she ground out, "He's given me my first and only orgasms and all while he drank some poor woman's blood. That's his introduction?"
I closed my eyes as images of Bella in the throes of her dream induced passion played behind my lids, the nights that I have sat and watched, not knowing what I should do and almost paralysed by the scent of her arousal and the sounds that she always made. I knew that my eyes were black when they reopened, I couldn't help that. And apparently I could not help what came next, either.
Bella glared at me from her position in front of the window. Her last words had sparked something within me, something that I had been shying away from. I had kept myself in such tight and stringent control over the last few decades that I had not even entertained the idea of touching Bella in such an intimate fashion while she is still human. Every fantasy, every dream and imagining of what her skin would feel like heated with desire. What it would be like to see it in her eyes, to feel and scent and cause her need. To relieve it. It had almost broken me to leave Jasper, even with the knowledge that I had gained about the future. It was only with that and my learned control that I managed to get through. It was the only reason why Isabella Marie Swan had not been claimed and changed the first second I saw her.. The only reason why the Forks High biology class is still walking around, alive and for the most part happy.
She moved to storm out of the bedroom and at that exact moment in time, I was finding it nigh on impossible to hold onto that control.
And then I snapped.
E/N: Let me know what you think. ;D