Ninja Tales From Another Dimension!
Hi-ho, Toa Naruto here! Boy, I bet none of you thought that you'd see an update in this little collection, huh? Anyways, here's a little something for you all to prove that I am not calling it quits. I saw this interesting video made by the YouTuber nutsVSguts about how to deal with internet trolls, which involved InuYasha and Kagome representing the internet and "trolls" respectively. So, I thought that I would try my hand at it. I own nothing!
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Tale 6: Why Tsunade Hate's Mountain Goats
It wasn't supposed to have been this difficult. Sure, he had a feeling that his old teammate would hard to locate, considering her bad habits, but he had honestly thought that he had caught a lucky break when he found Tsunade and her apprentice in that bar. And it was a not a moment to soon. But the instant he and his young charge stepped into that little restaurant, was when all hell broke loose for Jiraiya.
Tsunade had obviously been hitting the bottle when he and Naruto joined their group at their table, he could practically smell the alcohol in her breath. And considering the silent reaction between her and Shizune when he mentioned Orochimaru, it was clear that they had already made contact with the traitorous snake. When he dropped the bomb that the Leaf wanted her to be the next Hokage, she declined the position, like he predicted she would. But what he didn't expect was her to go on a drunken tirade on how their sensei and the other previous Hokages were fools in taking up the position; not exactly the right words to say in front of Naurto, one who was determined to be Hokage one day.
His latest student didn't take Tsunade's too kindly, if his threat that he'd take on anyone that dared to disrespect the Hokages was anything to go by. Hell, he even jumped up onto the table in order to leer over her in a menacing way. If he were in the younger blonde's place, he would've taken advantage of the view he could have gotten from the boy's position. But what he didn't expect was Tsunade to challenge Naruto to a fight out in the streets. Having first-hand experience of his former teammate's strength, he knew that the young Uzumaki was in for one hell of a beating. And he also knew that there was no way he could diffuse the situation, considering Tsunade's infamous temper. So now, he stuck as an observer along with Shizune, to what would most likely a brutal beat down.
"Heh, you've got a lot of nerve challenging a sanin. You must be either pretty brave, or completely stupid." taunted Tsunade.
"Well just see." said Naruto. "So let's make things interesting, since you're a betting woman. If I beat you, you'll come back to Konoha to at least heal the injured. How's that sound?"
"HA! Like that's going to happen." she sneered, before she held up her right index finger. "One finger. That's all that I'll need to end this quickly."
"Oh yeah? Well I'll see your one finger, and raise you another!" countered Naruto, as he held up his right index and middle fingers. "I bet you that I can beat you with just these two fingers."
Tsunade's furrowing brow showed that she wasn't all too pleased with the boy's bluff. "Okay, you want to play it that way? Fine! But when I beat you senseless, I expect you to bow to me and apologize to me, and give me all of your money to compensate for wasting my time."
"Heh! As you said before, 'like that's going to happen'. So bring it on, ya alcoholic old hag!"
That proved to be the last straw that broke the camel's back. With an enraged growl, Tsunade rushed towards the boy, her finger poised to attack. Naruto, on the other hand, stood still and waited until she crossed half the distance between them, before he brought his two fingers into his mouth and whistled a sharp note.
Barely a second later, a beige blur zoomed past the genin and collided against Tsunade, more specifically her crotch, with an audible gong!, earning loud pained scream from the woman as she hunched forwards from the force of the impact. The force of the collision also caused the speeding objects to stop in the trajectory. Tsunade landed on her knees, before she collapsed to her side, as she curled into a semi-fetal position, cradling her abused area. In front of her sat a male mountain goat, which Jiraiya noticed was cross-eyed. But he just couldn't believe what he was seeing, it was just too unbelievable.
"W-W-W-What is that?!" screeched Shizune in disbelief, as she squeezed Tonton against her chest.
"MOUN-TAIN GOAT TO THE COOCH!" declared a monotonous voice that echoed throughout the area, making Jiraiya and Shizune's head dart around in search of the speaker.
"Huh, it actually worked." commented Naruto, gaining the attention of the others.
"N-Naruto, what the hell?" asked Jiraiya.
"Huh? Oh, the goat. This guy's been following me for a while now ever since you and I left, Pervy Sage."
"Well why haven't I've seen it before? I would think that I would've noticed if something like an goat was following us." retorted Jiraiya.
"Well, half the time you're out drinking and hanging out in brothels, so I hardly doubt that." countered Naruto.
"Hey! I'll have you know...you know what, that's not important right now. Why did it attack Tsunade like that?" questioned Jiraiya, as he gestured toward the animal, which was still sitting in front of the trembling sanin. Shizune remained where she stood, gawking at it with disbelief.
Naruto shrugged. "I don't know, I guess it doesn't like girls with nasty personalities, or at least the ones that I interact with. It's attacked Sakura a couple of times already."
Jiraiya stared at the blonde genin. "So you egged Tsunade on into attacking you, knowing that it was watching, and that it would attack her when you gave the signal?"
"Actually, no. I just saw it staring at me, and I thought that I would at least give it a try."
"And that loud voice?"
"Beats me. Personally, I think it's just the goat, but I've never really figured that one out."
Jiraiya's gaze whipped from the goat to the groaning Tsunade trembling on the ground, and then back to the animal, before he turned back Naruto.
"That was kind of a cheap shot, don't you think?" deadpanned the toad sanin.
"We're ninja, I thought you said that we're supposed to fight dirty." retorted Naruto.
Meanwhile with Shizune, she was torn between going to help her master, and simply standing still so as not to draw the goat's attention to her. It was already staring at her, or at least she thought it was, one of its eyes was looking at her. Suddenly, the animal turned to face the brunette, initiating a tense stare-down, before suddenly-
"WWWAAAAAHHHH!" The goat let out a loud scream that sounded surprisingly human, before it tore away from the four humans, leaving a dusty trail behind it as it ran off into the distance. The entire display left everyone speechless.
"YYYYeah, he has a habit of that doing that." said Naruto, before he made his way over to Tsunade. As he kneeled down to her with a victorious smile. The busty woman said nothing, instead opting to glare at him as if she were trying to will him to burst into flames, but Naruto simply paid no attention to it. "So, you ready to see how much the Leaf has changed in your absence?"
END!
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So here you go! Will this be the last of the mountain goat? Who knows! You'll just have to wait and find out! If you want to see the video that served as the source of my inspiration, this is the link: www. Youtube watch?v=WtpgFQdB7pc&list=PL46325B98422766DA&index=21. Just be sure to delete the spaces between the periods. Happy Easter, everyone!