A/N: A slightly shorter chapter than usual this time, but that's because I've shifted what was Chapter 6 to a later part again and had to quickly write a bridge between the two. I might not even use what I was intending for Chapter 7, now. I dunno. Ugh.

I hope this format won't confuse any of you. Just in case it's not clear, the short block of italics on its own is intentional.

As Aubrey forces the vaguely hung-over Bellas through yet another gruelling run through of their performance, Beca begins to wonder why exactly all the drama in her life – especially with Chloe – always has to happen before rehearsal. It only means she's subjected to another two hours having to exchange awkward glances with whoever she's upset. Not to mention the radar the others in the group seem to have for drama – not that Beca doesn't know they probably heard every word through the door during her conversation with Chloe.

Luckily for Beca, they've reached the point in their rehearsals where they are simply running through the songs and steps over and over instead of needing individual work. One of the benefits of being behind Chloe rather than near her is that neither of them really have the time to engage in anything more than a brief bout of tense catching of the other's eye as they pass each other or take a break from choreography, which can only be a good thing.

Which isn't to imply Beca is not still distracted by Chloe; it's safe to say Beca probably spends more time staring at the back of Chloe's head (not her butt, this time – she's learned her lesson there) and the smooth movement of her body as she works through choreography than singing about seeing the sign or eternal flames or whatever.

It's not her fault, okay? She's got a lot to think about, and apparently the light glinting off Chloe's hair and watching it nearly whip Aubrey in the face when she moves too fast is some sort of memory enhancer, because all she can think about is her talk with Chloe only a few hours ago.

No, stop, Beca complains as her mind tries to drag her back into those memories again, but to no avail. Apparently her mind is a masochist and wants to constantly remind her how much of a fuck up she is.

'You don't know,' Chloe had repeated flatly, stepping back from Beca. Beca immediately slumped in relief against the door, some of the tension she'd been holding in her body leaving her now there was some blessed space between the two of them again. As for Chloe, the tear that had been on her cheek had already slipped down into her collar, but she blinked back the rest angrily. Judging by the expression on her face, she was more irritated than upset with Beca now, which wasn't necessarily better. 'How can you not know? Isn't it a simple question?'

'Sure, if you're… you, it's easy,' said Beca, gesturing at Chloe. The distance had allowed her mind to clear a little, but also had the unintentional side-effect of bringing back some of her natural caginess. 'If you're me, though, this shit's really confusing.'

'What's so confusing about it?'

'The whole thing, really,' Beca replied lamely. 'I'm not so great with anything that comes under the category of feelings, healthy emotions or the processing of either of those.'

'Please stop tuning me out, Beca,' Chloe pleaded. 'You're avoiding the subject.'

'I'm not. I just don't know what to tell you.'

Chloe asked, 'You said yesterday that you didn't have a crush on anyone. Was that true?'

Beca could only shrug in response, joking weakly, 'We were playing truth or dare, so your guess is as good as mine.'

'Don't mess around, Bec. Just tell me straight.' When Beca suppressed a smile at her word choice, Chloe rolled her eyes. 'Oh, grow up.'

'Grow up? I'm not the one asking you have a "crush" on me.'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

Beca snorted, standing up straight. She'd managed to stop Chloe thinking about the main topic, which was her goal. 'It's pretty high school, don't you think? Let me guess, you're gonna ask me if I have a crush on you, you'll tell me you have one on me, too and we'll go out to see some dorky movie and hold hands?'

'Beca!' Aubrey barks, just as Beca turns the wrong way and nearly walks straight into Cynthia Rose. 'Focus! Where is your head today?'

'Probably between Chloe's legs,' Amy says under her breath.

Forgetting where is, Beca's fists clench at her sides and she rounds on Fat Amy, shouting before she can stop herself, 'Don't even start with that shit right now, Amy!'

A stunned silence follows, every one of the Bellas staring in shock at Beca. In Amy's look especially, Beca can see a glimmer of hurt behind her eyes.

Beca's chest is heaving as what she just said sinks in. The cold sensation of guilt settles uncomfortably in her gut.

Amy clears her throat. 'Uh, sorry, Beca,' Amy says, scuffing her foot along the floor. 'I don't have much filter.'

'Yeah…' Beca's mind feels foggy and disorientated, but she knows it's because it's still stuck in replay mode of her morning. 'S'cool, Amy. Sorry, I didn't mean to shout.'

'If Beca's done yelling at people, can we get on with rehearsal?' Aubrey says, giving Beca a pointed look. She nods, stumbling back to her position in the line up. 'Okay, from the top, then, since we were interrupted. One, two, three, four…'

Chloe frowned at her, her teeth worrying her bottom lip. 'Well… Why can't it go like that?'

'This is college, Chloe. The real world. Things are more complicated than just admitting your feelings and going on dates and stuff.'

'Why do you say that?'

'They just are. Life generally doesn't work out the way you want it to– that's a fact.'

'It's not a fact I believe in,' Chloe said stubbornly, 'I think life's what you make it.'

'Great motto, Chlo. Hannah Montana would be proud.'

Chloe groaned, tipping her head back in frustration and gripping the roots of her hair. 'God, why do you have to make everything so difficult?'

'I don't know,' Beca deadpanned, 'why don't you ask him?' She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, knowing she was on very thin ground with Chloe - but she couldn't seem to stop herself. The retorts just kept pouring from her mouth with no interception from her brain.

Chloe glared at her. 'I meant you, and you know it. And can you quit it with the sarcasm? It's getting annoying when I'm trying to have a serious talk with you for once.'

Beca manages to make her way robotically through the rest of the rehearsal, barely even bothering to do the movements anymore unless she knows Aubrey is looking her way. Thankfully, as long as she doesn't run into anyone again Aubrey doesn't notice a thing.

Pleased with their "successful" run through, Aubrey allows them a ten minute water break to sit down. Beca wisely uses this time to hermit right in the far corner of one of the rows, curled up like a cat in the chair and glaring at anyone that comes near her.

She just wants to sit and hate herself for a while. Is that so hard for others to understand?

'Serious?' said Beca incredulously. 'You think jumping me in a hallway first thing in the morning, trying to kiss me – before we've even brushed our teeth, might I add, which is gross – while you're standing there with a blanket around your shoulders wearing Stacie's undersized pyjamas?' She lets out a cynical laugh. 'Yeah, real serious.'

Chloe's face hardened. 'Okay, you know what?' she says, sounding angrier than Beca's ever heard her. 'I give up! There's no getting through to you. You won't even try to tell me what you're really feeling – instead you dance around the topic, like you always do.'

'I don't get all this feelings stuff,' Beca said, shrugging. 'Sue me. I'm defective. They should've taken me back to the shop, but I guess the warranty ran out.'

'Oh, that's a load of bullshit, Beca,' Chloe hissed, surprising Beca with her swearing. She stepped back into Beca's space, glaring down at the smaller girl. And she was smaller – Beca had never really registered that properly before, but it was hard not to when she was staring anxiously up into the face of an angry Chloe. 'You do get them. You just pretend -

'Bree,' Beca hears Chloe saying to Aubrey, suddenly drawing her from her reverie once again. Even though she's not talking loudly, due to the silence of the other Bellas her voice carries across the auditorium to where Beca is sitting. 'Is it alright if I try the solo for Turn The Beat Around, just this once? I know we said Amy could do it, and she was great, but… I want to test my voice.'

'Is that really a good idea?' Beca calls before she can stop herself, making Chloe jump. 'Your throat was hurting pretty bad last night.'

Chloe regards Beca for a few moments, then turns her back on her. 'Ignore her,' Chloe tells Aubrey in clipped tones. 'I can handle it, now I've rested a little. I think some of my range is returning.'

'But Chloe, we've been singing all morning and last night too -'

'Enough, Beca,' Aubrey interrupts. 'If Chloe wants another try at the solo, that's her decision. We'll hear her sing, and then we can move from there. Alright everyone, break time's over…'

'- you don't so you don't need to make actual choices in life – so you can avoid things that might actually make you happy.'

'I can be happy if I want to,' Beca mutters to herself, getting an odd look from Lily which she ignores. Please, like she's one to complain about people whispering to themselves.

'And you think you're the one who can do that, is that it?' asked Beca sceptically. Chloe fixed her with a look.

'Love to hear it, love to hear percuss-ION!'

Chloe does her best to hit the note, but strains just as she's getting there, making it go completely off-key. The others cringe as this happens, losing their concentration on the dancing; some pause to put their hands over their ears, and the whole group ends up bumping into the person in front of them. Some are still mumbling 'turn it around' out of sync with each other in an effort to keep going, but the singing quickly fades away as everyone just comes to a stop and just simply waits.

Chloe drops the water bottle she's holding in place of a microphone; it lands with a thump while she makes a run for the door, grabbing her bag on the way.

'Chloe, come back!' Aubrey hollers after Chloe.

'Wait,' Beca says, putting a hand out in front of Aubrey when she starts to follow. 'I'll go.'

'Maybe not, but I'd give it a damn good try if you'd let me.'

Beca had no answer for that. So she just walked away.

'I'm not in the mood, Beca,' Chloe says, letting out a sigh when Beca follows Chloe into the bathroom a few minutes later. Instead of opting for the easier to access ground floor restroom, Chloe apparently decided going all the way up to the little used ones on the third floor was the best option – perhaps anticipating that someone would follow.

She's currently reapplying her make-up in the mirror, or perhaps just wiping it away since Beca can see she's already cried enough to leave streaky mascara stains down her cheeks.

'Not in the mood for what?' Beca says defensively. 'I'm just peeing, jeez. I'm allowed to pee around you, right?' It's a bit of a long shot since no one in their right mind would go all the way to the third floor just to pee, but Chloe doesn't argue; she simply sighs again, ignoring her in favour of wiping away a smudge on her eyelid. Beca watches her for a few moments before remembering what she's meant to be using the bathroom instead of creeping on Chloe in the mirror.

When she comes back out of the stall to wash her hands a few minutes later, Chloe's thankfully still there. Good. She'd been a bit worried Chloe would run out while she was pretending to use the toilet, which would just be embarrassing.

'Nodes bothering you?' she asks casually, as though she were talking about something as simple as the weather with someone she didn't know. She hisses at the freezing temperature of the water, quickly jamming on the hot tap as well.

'What do you think?' Chloe retorts. The words are biting, but mostly she just sounds tired.

Beca tests the temperature of the water, finding it to be a suitable to finally wash her hands. Public bathrooms kind of squick her out. 'Well, if you really want to know, I think you need to do something about them, before they get a lot worse.'

'Hm. Good thing I didn't ask for your opinion on them, then.'

Beca lifts her head and blinks at her. 'Actually, you kinda did.'

Chloe just gives her a look of disgust, which Beca takes to mean that Chloe knows she's right but doesn't have a suitable response.

She fetches a paper towel, still talking to Chloe as if this morning never happened. 'Can I get you anything? I dunno what helps with vocal nodes, but at a guess I'd say honey and lemon since it's good for sore throats.'

'Short of some new vocal cords, I'm not sure what else you could do to make this even remotely bearable for me right now,' Chloe says bitterly.

'I'll check, but I don't think they sell vocal cords at the drug store.' Chloe doesn't laugh or even smile, which is never a good sign. She tries a new tactic. 'Why are you still singing when it hurts so much? You knew you couldn't hit that note.'

She doesn't expect Chloe to answer her honestly, but she does in fact stop wiping away her mascara for a moment to catch Beca's eye in the mirror. 'If creating mixes hurt you, but everyone depended on you to do it, would you carry on?'

'I don't know. I'm kind of a pussy when it comes to pain.'

'But music is important to you, isn't it?' Chloe presses.

'Well… Yeah.'

'Then you know why I do it.'

Chloe drops the tissue she's using to the side of the sink and reaches into her make-up case, drawing out a tube of mascara. Beca watches her. 'Is it worth it?'

She takes in a breath, letting it out slowly through her nose. 'I don't know. But I think the alternative might be worse.'

They both fall quiet then, with Beca still feeling pretty surprised that Chloe hasn't just kicked her out of the room yet. She'd seemed pretty fed up with her this morning and to be honest, even this rather frosty reception feels more than she deserves considering she was being kind of – okay, very – immature that morning.

'Are we having our first fight?' Beca asks softly, leaning her back against the sink. ''Cause it kind of sucks.'

'I thought our first fight was when you pushed me away the first time.' Beca winces at the reminder.

'C'mon, Chloe, that's not fair… We were both at fault, there.'

'Oh really? So who is at fault this time?' asks Chloe airily, continuing with her make-up.

'Well, both of us, again.' At Chloe's dark look and pausing of the mascara wand, she amends it to, 'Uh, you? I mean… me?'

'Nice to know you're really considering the situation.'

Beca rubs her fingers over her forehead. 'Can we stop with the sniping at each other? It's pretty tiring, and I don't like fighting with you.'

'It's your own fault,' Chloe singsongs.

'Oh, so it is me that caused this whole thing.' Beca snaps her fingers and pretends to tut at her own ignorance. 'Should've known. Perfect little Chloe Beale never does anything wrong, after all.'

'I thought we were stopping the sniping,' Chloe points out sourly. She huffs, rubbing at a mark on her eyelid where her hand slipped.

'You're the one who decided the whole thing was actually my fault, so, whatever. You're not even going to think about what you might've done to make the situation worse?'

'Go for it, Beca,' Chloe drawls, tone acerbic. 'Tell me all about my faults and how I'm the one that's got us into this whole mess. I'm very intrigued.'

'Fine, I will,' Beca shoots back. 'Firstly, I thought we were over that whole "surprising me with physical contact" thing. You just got in my face and started telling me all these things about being selfish and touching me, when you know I get uncomfortable when people are too close.'

Chloe hums to herself, twirling the mascara brush thoughtfully. Beca gets the feeling she's not even doing her make-up properly anymore, just using it as a way to stay aloof in the conversation. 'Go on.'

'Secondly, you pretty much forced me to answer a life changing question there and then in the hallway, and barely even gave me five minutes to think it over and come to a decision.'

'You've had almost three hours, now,' Chloe points out.

'Three quarters of which was spent in rehearsal. How much time do you think I get to think about stuff like that when Aubrey's breathing down my neck?'

'Seems like you had plenty. You were so out of it during practice.'

'And how would you know? Were you watching me?' When Chloe scowls in the mirror, she knows she's right. Beca suddenly realises she's been drifting closer the whole time until she's standing at Chloe's shoulder, looking at her reflection. 'Face it, Chloe, your whole method was completely unfair. You deliberately tried to catch me off guard so you could get me to answer how you want.'

'And what is it you think I want?' asks Chloe sceptically.

'I believe I covered that earlier, the whole "high school" thing,' Beca says, complete with finger quotes, sure she's got Chloe where she wants her now. 'You want things I can't give you right now, and now you're mad at me because of it. Because I didn't immediately drop to my knees and confess my undying love for you when you tried to force me to.'

Chloe laughs. Actually laughs, a scornful little snort with a shake of her head as she drops her capped mascara into her make-up bag again. 'You're so wrong. So completely wrong, it's actually kind of hilarious.'

'Am I?'

'Yes. And you want to know why?'

'Yes. Do enlighten me with your wisdom, Miss Beale.'

Chloe spins to face her, the first time she has through this whole conversation. 'Okay, I'm going to explain a few things to you, and you need to close that smart mouth of yours for once and actually listen, or I'm walking out of here right now and you won't see me again.'

Beca nearly starts to argue, but with a pointed look from Chloe she obediently (but reluctantly) shuts her mouth.

'Beca, I would give this whole thing up if you ever gave me any indication that was what you wanted me to do.' Chloe says, looking Beca right in the eyes. 'If you just said "No, I don't want this" to me, I would be fine with that. But you won't. Instead you keep stringing me along, giving me little breadcrumbs to pick up, because you know I'm that pathetic and like you enough to swoon over those little things.' Her tone is so bitter and just so generally fed up it makes Beca wince.

'What do you mean, little breadcrumbs?' Beca asks, forgetting she's not supposed to be talking.

'Like getting into my bed. Like holding my hand. Like defending me from Aubrey. Like telling me you'd do anything for me. Like telling me I 'didn't want to' kiss you, not that you didn't want to kiss me… Like falling down a flight of stairs because you were too busy staring at my butt.'

'What?' Beca yelps, her eyes widening. 'How did you know about that?'

'Cynthia Rose told me. You were talking while you ran, and I wanted to know what had distracted you… I didn't really believe her, but I guess that just proved it.' The corner of Chloe's mouth quirks up, the first hint of a smile Beca's seen in a few hours.

'I'm going to fucking kill her…' Beca sighs, putting her face in her hands. She takes a deep breath and forces herself to shelf that little tidbit for now, so she can concentrate on the rest of the conversation. 'But anyway, don't you think all those are things friends could do too?'

'None of my other friends fell down stairs from looking at my ass.'

'Except for that one,' Beca says from between gritted teeth.

Chloe sighs, turning and resting her back against the sink too. 'Yeah, I guess so. But generally, most friends would give me a real answer about why they can't kiss me, not just "I don't know".'

'I'm not 'most friends', though.'

'I know,' Chloe whispers. 'You're much more than that.'

'Chloe, don't…'

'I just need you to tell me either way,' Chloe interrupts. 'I need some idea of where I stand with you, because right now I don't know if it's a no but you don't want to hurt my feelings, or it's a yes, but you're scared for some reason.

If you don't want me, fine. If you do… fantastic. If you do but you need some more time, that's okay. I don't know what you feel. I don't know anything about how you feel, Beca, and I need some direction or I'm going to go crazy.'

Beca says glumly, 'You don't beat around the bush, do you?'

'I don't like to wait, Beca. I'm not going to waste time feeling confused or not knowing where I stand when there might be someone else who is willing to be honest with me.'

This makes her head shoot up. 'Someone else? Who?' Irrationally, she thinks of Jesse, even if she knows that's stupid.

Chloe rolls her eyes. 'That's what you got out of that whole speech? I meant it hypothetically.'

'But hypothetically, if you were to find someone else, right now,' she hedges, 'who would it be?'

Chloe lets out a long, aggravated breath. 'For God's sake, Beca…'

'Hypothetically,' she reminds her hurriedly. 'Who would you pick?'

'Really?' Chloe shakes her head, but fixes her gaze on Beca's. 'Beca, there's no one else I want right now but you.' The words make her stomach lurch and her fingers tingle. 'But if there's no hope then I don't want to bother. I need you to tell me so I can move on with my life if that's the case.'

'So if I say no, I'm not interested,' Beca says, hating how her voice trips over some of the words, 'you're just gonna give up on me?'

'I'm not going to wait around pining over you for nothing, if that's what you mean.' Chloe looks at her closely, frowning. 'Is this your way of saying you want me to chase you, or you want to play hard to get or something? Because I can deal with that – as long as that means there's some hope, somewhere.'

Beca searches wildly for a way to deflect the topic again, or to think of a witty retort to send the conversation spiralling in another direction, but she comes up with nothing. She starts to panic the more Chloe stares at her, awaiting an answer. In the end she just twists away from Chloe, stealing one of the paper towels from the dispenser and drying her hands again just for something to do.

She feels Chloe approach slowly and stand just behind her, making her whole body tense up.

'Just say you don't want me,' Chloe whispers, 'and I'll be out of your hair. I'm not that sensitive, Bec, I'll get over it. I promise. I won't let it affect our friendship…'

'Isn't it already?' she asks, the words sticking in her throat.

'Not if you don't want it to.' She feels Chloe gently touch her arms, almost as a kind of warning, then she wraps them around Beca's waist, pulling her back until Beca is flush against her chest. She brushes a strand of hair out of Beca's face, briefly planting a kiss on her temple before resting her chin on top of her shoulder.

It's warm, soothing, and safe, and damned if that isn't the scariest thing she's ever experienced.

'Don't be frightened,' Chloe says, as if sensing her thoughts. 'Tell me how you feel, Beca.'

'I can't help it,' she chokes out.

'I know, I know…'

'No, you don't… I can't say anything, I just - I don't know what's wrong with me….'

'Hey… Don't cry, Bec…'

She goes to hold Beca tighter, but Beca pulls Chloe's arms off her and steps out of her reach. If she lets Chloe hold her anymore at the moment she'll probably break down completely; as of right now, her dignity is only just hanging on by a tiny thread.

'Stop,' she commands quietly, brushing away the tears that have betrayed her and collected on her cheeks. 'Chloe, this isn't going to work. I know you want answers, but I can't give you them. I'm sorry. I'm messed up, I know, but I can't seem to say anything coherent…'

'Can you draw it?' Chloe asks, with a rather sad smile. 'Sing it?'

'I don't think there's a song alive that could explain what I'm feeling… And I suck at drawing.'

Against her protests, Chloe thumbs away one of the tears she missed near the corner of her mouth, then tenderly cups her face with that hand. 'You're really struggling with this, aren't you?'

'You have no idea.'

'Then you know what?' Chloe says softly. 'I think you were right about me springing this on you too fast. Maybe some time and space apart would be good… for the both of us.'

'What?' says Beca, looking up at her, certain she's heard wrong.

'Some time apart so you can get your head on properly and work out what it is you want.' She lets go of Beca's cheek. Her expression has cleared and she seems like she's realised something. 'We've been together almost constantly for the past few months, haven't we? It's no wonder you don't know what you're feeling, when I'm always crowding you and making you uncomfortable.' Chloe and goes to gather her things up. 'Tell Bree I'm going home. She'll understand.'

'So that's it?' says Beca, voice raising resentfully, turning on her heel to follow Chloe as she heads to the door. 'You're leaving me?'

Chloe stops in the doorway, regarding Beca sorrowfully. 'You hear what you want to hear sometimes, don't you? Beca, I'm not leaving you. I'm just giving you some time to think about things, because we're getting nowhere right now. That's what you wanted in the first place, wasn't it?'

It was. Beca wants to argue back, tell Chloe that this wasn't quite what she meant, but she's already beginning to shut the door on her.

'I'll see you later…'

A/N: I think this is my favourite chapter (even if it threw off everything in my plan) so that means everyone's going to hate it. Oh well.