Chapter two: Nothing Ever Changes
This morning, I was awaken by the crash of thunder. It had been another nightmareless night.
"It's okay Katniss," Peeta chuckles as I jump, "I've been awake since the storm started," he tells me before I can ask. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull myself close to him. I'm almost asleep again when Greasy Sae knocks on my door.
"If you're awake, I'm here now. I'm about to start making breakfast," she says as she open the door and pops her head inside. "Haymitch told me to tell you that you're not to leave the Village today. He doesn't want any trouble arising and if you need something from town he or I will go get it for you."
"I'm not going anywhere other than right here," I mumble happily into Peeta's chest. Peeta smiles and kisses the top of my head tightning his arms around me.
"Well you'll have to get out of bed eventually Miss Everdeen," Greasy Sae says with a smile and then turns and leaves my room.
Later that day, I did have to leave my bed and Peeta's warm arms. Haymitch wouldn't let us alone otherwise. We sit in the living room now watching the bland television and talking together when there is a knock on my front door. It can't be Greasy Sae because she knows she can just walk right in, and it isn't Haymitch because he's already here. I causiously get up and answer the door. I sigh as it reveals Effie Trinket.
"Katniss!" she exclaims upon seeing me.
"Hey Effie," I try to act happy to see her, but in all honesty, I'm not. I could care less about seeing her. I invite her in out of the rain and she follows me to the livingroom.
"Hey Effie," Peeta says cheerfully. The boy could be an actor. I know he's not any more interested in her than I am, but the way he pretends baffles me.
"Peeta! Haymitch!" she exclaims, "This is good; I have the three of you together already without even trying," she sits down in the chair next to Haymitch while I take my place back in the floor against Peeta's knees and he resumes playing with my hair.
"How can we help you?" I ask.
"Did Haymitch here tell you both that the new President wants to meet with you later this week?" she asks.
"That's about all we were told," I answer. Effie looks over at Haymitch which only confirm my suspicions from yesterday that we weren't told everything he knew. Effie sighs.
"Were you told about the Capitol Hunger Games?" she asks.
"We were told they were going to happen," Peeta answers.
"Haymitch, why didn't you tell them anything?" Effie is rather irritated.
"They were in enough trouble last night as it was. Didn't need to worry them further," he says. Effie shakes her head and then turns back to Peeta and me.
"Plutarch Heavensbee is in charge of the Games again. You got to know him, you know that's what he enjoys. The way he wants to work things, is to do a reaping a little earlier than normal, test the twenty four tributes and assign them one of the orginal twelve Districts. Once assigned a District, they'll be sent to that District where they'll live with the Victors who will be their mentors," she pauses watching our reactions.
This is not good news. I am far from happy. I don't want to mentor Capitol children; I don't want to see Capitol children. They bring back the upfront horror of memories of Prim's death and that hurts more than anything. Peeta and Haymitch will be much better mentors than I will. I don't care if "District 12's" Capitol tributes die or not. In fact, I prefer they do.
"The President wants to meet with you tomorrow and she'll decide on the day of the reaping," Effie says.
"Will you tell us who the President is?" I ask. Effie looks at Haymitch with a glare.
"She doesn't want you to know until you see her." I sigh. I don't like not knowing things.
"I'll be back tomorrow morning at nine. You'd better be ready." She doesn't waste her time in leaving Peeta, Haymitch, and me alone again.
As hard as I try to be angry at Haymitch, I can't stay that way. I don't like him by any means, but I don't hate him either. Sometimes, I wonder if he likes making my life difficult.
"Are you doing to help us mentor them or are you going to leave us to our own devices?" Peeta asks before I calm down enough to ask for myself.
"Well, since you either can't keep your hands off of or want to murder your girlfriend there, I think I have to help you." Peeta takes his comment as the intended insult as do I, but I'm the one who speaks up about it.
"I'm not his girlfriend," I say harsher than I mean to. I feel Peeta's hands stiffin in my hair. I can tell he's hurt by this comment worse than Haymitch's comment.
"You may as well be. You even sleep together!" I open my mouth to defend this, but quickly close it again realizing that I can't counter that. It's not that I don't want to be Peeta's girlfriend. I want that almost as much as I want Prim back. It's just that Peeta hasn't really asked me to be, and so it's not official.
"The fact of you being or not being my girlfriend is irrelivant to the question I asked," Peeta says. I can tell by the sound of his voice he's upset. "We just need to know how we plan to mentor two Capitol children and keep them alive," My first reaction is to say that we can't, and that I don't care if they live or die. I might tell Peeta this later, but to say it in front of Haymitch would only cause an argument that I'm not willing to have.
"Well," Haymitch begins, "right now, it doesn't matter. You'll have to wait and meet the President and see which two we end up with. If they're anything like you two then we have a chance, if they're not, we don't." I roll my eyes. Maybe Peeta is the better mentor out of the three of us.
For a while, we all sit in silence. Peeta isnt really playing with my hair anymore. I can't wait for Haymitch to leave so that I can talk to Peeta in private.
~HG~HG~HG~
We all had dinner together, Peeta, Haymitch, Greasy Sae, and I. There was tension at the table without a doubt. As soon as it was over though Haymitch didn't waste any time in leaving, and when she was done Greasy Sae didn't waste her time cleaning up and leaving either.
"I'm going home," Peeta announces when its just the two of us. He looks at me expectantly.
"You're not coming back tonight?" I ask. He shrugs his shoulders.
"I might," he says, and then before I can reply, he walks out of my house too.
~HG~HG~HG~
There isn't any way I can sleep tonight. After being rejected I turn off all the lights, and make my way to my bed alone. It's a lot colder without him here. I can't help but wonder how he feels. I hope he does come back tonight; I want a chance to explain what I meant by what I said.
Somewhere between getting warm and wishing Peeta would come back, I find myself asleep. Dreaming peacefully of a life that doesn't exist. A life where we won the war and all the people who meant the most to me are still here. It slowly turns into a nightmare. Each one of them, Prim, Cinna, and Finnick, among others, come up to me, thank me for being in their life, and then slit their throats and I can't do anything to stop them from dying. Right there. In front of me.
Once all of them are gone, and I'm surrounded by their dead bodies, Gale comes up to me. He tells me that he has never been my friend, he has never loved me, everything I once knew is meaningless. He doesn't slit his throat, but he just dissapears out of thin air leaving me hurt and wounded further by his words.
Then Peeta shows up. He stands in front of me. He looks down upon me as I have now collapsed to the ground curled up in the fetal position, sobbing. Before he can say anything at all to me, I start screaming. Screaming to drown out anything that he might say that will break me further. But his voice breaks through my consience anyways.
"Katniss?" it says, "Katniss. Katniss, you're okay. I'm right here." I open my eyes and my ears hear screams that pierce the night air like one of my arrows. The real Peeta is here, in my bed, holding me. It takes me a minute for me to realize that I heard my own screams because suddenly Haymitch bursts into my room turning the light on, blinding me.
"You're okay, I've got you. Nothing is going to hurt you," Peeta continues to tell me as he strokes my hair and holds me close. His shirt is ruined from my tears. I cant help but to continue to sob.
"What happened?" Haymitch asks.
"Another nightmare I'm sure," Peeta replys.
"So you didn't attack her?"
"I've been in here for only a few minutes more than you have. No. I didn't attack her." Peeta says angered by Haymitch's question. Haymitch stands there until I stop shaking with sobs. Peeta continues to stroke my hair, hold me, ossasionally kiss the top of my head, and tell me that it was just a dream and everything is going to be okay because he's here and won't leave me. I'm not sure when Haymitch leaves, but I know he does sometime after he turns the light out of our faces.
"Do you want to tell me about it?" Peeta asks after a while.
"No," I mumble.
"That bad?" I nod my head. I'm almost glad that Peeta in my nightmare didn't get the chance to tell me whatever it was he was going to say.
"I'm sorry," I say nestling my head against his chest.
"Katniss, go back to sleep. We can talk about this in the morning before Effie gets here," he replies.
"Stay with me this time?" I ask.
"I don't want to go anywhere else," he says, "goodnight."