They win, of course. Was there ever any doubt that they would? There was maybe a lot of it in Beca's mind, but all of that gets wiped away as they carry their trophy back to Beca and Amy's room.

Without anyone even needing to say anything, it is unanimously decided, that there is going to be a celebratory party - effective immediately. Alcohol is pulled out of suitcases, red cups appear seemingly from thin air, pizza is called for, laptops and iTunes turned on, singing happens, dancing happens, they're all extremely happy, they're celebrating, blah, blah, blah.

There's only one problem. That is, that Beca can't concentrate at all on anything that's going on, because every time she looks up she seems to catch Chloe's eyes on her. And not once does Chloe look away when she's caught – in fact, it only seems to bolster her confidence, as she smiles back at Beca with a look in her eye that Beca can only think to describe as… predatory. Or at the very least, longingly, but that doesn't fittingly sum up the way her gaze lingers on Beca and makes a lump rise up in her throat.

It's extremely unnerving, and makes her more than a little uncomfortable in a lot of ways she really would rather not express to herself right now. So she avoids Chloe, tries her best not to meet her eyes, tries to engage and laugh with the other girls, but it's so hard when whatever she does, she can still feel Chloe watching her whatever she does.

Beca has just given in to the temptation to get herself a drink, when she feels a presence behind her, and instantly knows it's Chloe. She stiffens when breath washes over her ear, and a hand settles on her arm.

'Hi,' says Chloe, breath still tickling Beca's skin and making her squirm.

'Hi…'

'Is there a reason you're avoiding me?'

Beca nearly drops her drink at that, and some of it does go on the carpet. She glances at Aubrey guiltily, but she hasn't noticed. 'I'm not avoiding you.'

'I think you are, and I want to know why.'

'I'm n… Jesus, Chloe,' she says, jumping a little when Chloe steps even closer, almost pressed right up against her back.

'Come with me, we need to talk,' Chloe half growls to her, already beginning to tug her away.

Beca has no doubt that the Bellas see them leaving, but no one says a word or tries to stop them. In a way, Beca wishes they had because she's starting to feel more and more nervous and that the earlier kiss was a mistake. She seems to have opened some sort of flood gate for Chloe, because now she's standing a little too close, her fingers twitching with her barely restrained desire to touch Beca. They take the elevator despite Chloe and Aubrey's room only being two floors above, and it's probably the most tension-filled ride she's ever taken, because Chloe watches her brazenly, her hair falling into her eyes but she doesn't sweep it away, too busy dragging her hungry gaze over Beca's body.

Chloe struggles with the keycard, but eventually manages to get the door open, pushing Beca into the room before her and slamming the door shut behind them.

Beca barely has a moment of feeling terrified in the middle of the room before Chloe turns to her. She still has that expression on her face, and Beca feels her chest tighten a little in panic. She's not stupid – she knows what Chloe wants by bringing her up here, and now the door is shut behind her there's no way for her to escape.

'Alone at last, then,' Chloe says, raising an eyebrow and smiling.

'Mm,' is all Beca replies with, not trusting her voice.

'You're a slippery one, you know that? Also, I have to say, I love the girls, but they're so distracting sometimes. I only wanted to be alone with you, but every time I tried to get you away someone would get me or you into a conversation.' She saunters nearer to Beca, seemingly unaware of the way Beca is trying to surreptitiously step away at the same time. 'Ah well, we're here now, aren't we?'

'Mm,' Beca says again, willing away the anxiety.

Chloe taps her gently on the hips, asking for a hug, but frowns when Beca strains away from her touch. 'Bec?'

'Chloe,' Beca chokes out, hating how her voice is shaking. 'I don't know if we should do this. I'm not ready.'

'Hey…' whispers Chloe, her face clouding with concern. She almost steps forward, but then she rethinks it and takes one back instead. 'Beca, look at me. It's just me. I promise I'm not going to do anything you're not comfortable with - we can just sit and talk if you want.'

'That's not what you brought me up here for though, is it?' Beca putting her face in her hands. 'You want… Well, I don't know what you want. Kissing? Touching? Sex?'

Chloe looks stricken. 'Beca, that's not – I didn't, I wouldn't -'

'You would and you have. And I don't think I can give you any of those things.' She sinks heavily down onto the bed. After a moment, she feels the bed sink as Chloe sits down too, a short distance away from her.

'Beca, I promise you - I didn't bring you up here to ask you to have sex with me, or even to kiss me.'

'If you thought I'd say yes, then you would, though, right?'

Chloe is quiet for a short time, and when she responds again her voice is also at a lower volume. 'That's really not fair. You know I'm attracted to you and would jump at the chance to do either of those things, but that doesn't mean I don't respect your right to not want to, or that I would force you to do it if you aren't ready.'

Beca knows she's right. She does. But right now, admitting that is probably the thing she wants to do least more than anything in the world – it is so much easier to think that it's Chloe that's causing this whole thing by pushing her (even if she isn't) than it is to believe she's messing this up again.

It's so much easier to yell, to get angry, than it is to accept that she's fucking miserable.

'If you respect me so much, then why did you even bring me up here?! You must have been wanting something, right?'

Chloe visibly seems to shrink, turning her ashamed gaze to her lap. 'Beca, please don't make me feel bad for wanting you. I try to control it, but I'm only human.'

'You try to control it?' Beca scoffs. 'Yeah, I believe that one! Given half the chance I bet you'd have already stripped me naked and tried to have sex with me!'

'I didn't even make an attempt to kiss you!' Chloe cries, head shooting up. Good, Beca thinks. Let her get angry, furious – let her say awful things she'll regret later. At least then Beca will know she was right all along about having misgivings about opening up to people, and she can forget this whole mess ever happened. 'You kissed me, so excuse me for assuming you might want to do it again!'

'So you admit it!' Beca snarls, aware she sounds absolutely crazy but not able to stop herself. 'You did bring me up here to try and get me to kiss you!'

Unfortunately, this doesn't have the desired impact of triggering more arguments from Chloe or making her more angry, or anything like that – instead she just looks extremely lost and upset, her eyes glazed over with tears. 'Beca,' she says in a choked voice. 'What are you even trying to do? Of course I want to kiss you, and I'll admit I did bring you up here with some ulterior motives, but it was so we could talk privately, and maybe, if you wanted to, we could kiss! But only if you wanted to, not me!' She sniffles, wiping at her cheeks with the heel of her hand. 'I don't know what you want from me!'

Here would be the perfect spot for Beca to tell Chloe what she wants from her. That would be the only sensible way for them to get out of this mess cleanly with their friendship, or whatever they are, still intact.

But that's not how Beca works.

Because honestly? She has no clue. No clue at all what to tell Chloe. The things she wants, the things she doesn't want, the things she needs and doesn't need have all screwed themselves together in a rigid little knot inside her chest, and it seems like the more she tries to pry it open, the tighter it gets. The answers are in there, if she could just work out how to get to it - but every time she settles on something it slips out of her grasp, hiding in a fog of "Why can't you just be normal?" and "If you don't open up, eventually everyone will leave you" that she has to wade through any time she tries to search for any kind of foothold in her emotions.

Everything is just out of her fingertips, and she's sick of trying to reach for it, groping in the dark for something she might never find.

She's just sick of everything.

'You know what?' Beca spits, her fists clenching into balls at her side, beginning to shake without knowing. 'Fuck this. Fuck all of this! I can't do this anymore!'

All the colour drains from Chloe's face in a split second. 'What?' she yelps, sounding panicked. 'What d'you mean you can't do this anymore?!'

'I can't handle this arguing, this anxiety, this constant sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I can't do that anymore.'

'Beca, no, please, let's just talk about this -'

'Shut up,' Beca cuts her off coldly.

'But Beca -'

'Chloe, just shut up!' Chloe clamps her mouth shut, looking a little afraid. 'Now come here,' she commands. When Chloe remains rooted to the spot, she says again, 'Chloe – get the fuck over here!' She scrambles over to Beca, but looks confused when Beca stands up from the bed. 'Sit down, where I just was,' she tells her. Chloe does so, still looking bewildered. Next moment, the breath is knocked out of her when Beca gives her a solid push onto her back.

'Beca! What are you d…' Chloe lets out an actual squeak when Beca plants one knee on either side of Chloe's hips. She reaches up to pin Chloe's wrists on either side of her head, leaning down so her hair forms a curtain around her face.

'I'm sick of this,' Beca says in a harsh whisper, staring down into Chloe's eyes. There's a lot of anxiety, there, and worry - but Beca can also tell Chloe is already getting turned on, if the dilating of her pupils and her flush creeping down her neck are anything to go by. Beca had never actually thought that was a thing that happened to people, but apparently it is. 'I am sick to death of feeling like this. Of the worry. Every. Single. Day. Of people worrying about me, of worrying about other people.'

She feels tears building and burning behind her eyes, escaping and landing on Chloe's cheeks underneath her. Beca moves up Chloe's body, seeing her eyelids flicker when their pelvises grind against the other's briefly.

'I'm sick of myself. I'm sick of this fear that won't go away, this stupid, ridiculous fear that comes from nowhere, and just…consumes me, for the most fucking idiotic reasons. I mean, who gets scared of a hug, right?' She laughs tearfully, hating the way Chloe looks up at her so pityingly, her compassionate heart bleeding for poor little Beca Mitchell who can barely function. 'I'm tired of not being able to hold the people I want to, of not being able to touch the people I want to.' Beca takes a breath. 'I'm tired of not being able to touch you, Chloe.'

'Beca,' Chloe croaks out, but she gasps when Beca presses her lips to her pulse point, feeling the rapid fluttering of her heartbeat, and chokes out a strangled moan, head falling to the side when Beca licks a trail up to her jaw line and bites at the skin there.

'I'm so tired, Chloe,' she whispers into her neck, closing her eyes and feeling more tears leak out from underneath her lids.

'I know,' Chloe pants, her hands twisting to break free of Beca's grip. 'I know, Beca, and I understand, I do…'

'No you don't,' Beca growls. 'If I don't, then how the fuck could you?'

'I do understand, I… Fuck, Beca, I can't think while you're doing that.' Chloe's body arches below her when she bites at her again. 'God,' Chloe forces out from between gritted teeth, and Beca knows she's destroying Chloe's resistance against her, whatever is holding her back against flipping Beca over and just kissing her there and then.

'I don't want either of us to think anymore… I'm always thinking. I just want to do this without getting trapped in my brain for once…'

'Beca.' She's reached Chloe's ear now, and her tongue flicking out around Chloe's piercing is enough to derail her train of thought temporarily, causing a strong shudder to pass through Chloe. 'You need to stop, or I won't be able to…'

'What, Chloe? You won't be able to what?' She lifts her head again, placing her face inches from Chloe's. She sees Chloe's eyes dart to her lips and back up to her eyes again, feeling her laboured breath against her cheek. 'Stop yourself from kissing me?'

Chloe almost whimpers. 'I don't want to kiss you unless you want me to.'

'Why not? Why don't you just do it? I'm giving you an opening here.'

But Chloe's shaking her head fervently. 'No, if you don't want to then nor do I. It should be on your terms.'

'What about your terms, though?' Beca demands, sloping her back so more of her body is pressed against Chloe's. The denim of their jeans rasps as they graze each other. 'Aren't you sick of waiting around for me? Don't you get frustrated, waiting for me to be normal?'

'Never,' says Chloe immediately, 'I mean, I do get frustrated… But not with you, and definitely not with waiting for you or you being normal, whatever the hell that means.'

'It means that I'll never be like other girls, or like you. I'll never be able to kiss you or hug you or fuck you -' She lingers on the swear, loving how Chloe squirms when she says it, 'without hesitating, even if it's just for a moment. How does that make you feel?' She places a kiss at Chloe's jaw bone, and from her gasp, Beca surmises that the answer is "amazing".

'I don't want other girls, or for you to be like me,' Chloe manages to get out. 'I just want you, the way you are, and if that means waiting for a second before you're comfortable, then I'll wait.'

'That's not how you used to feel. Back then, you wanted me to do it whether I was comfortable or not. Isn't that right?'

'Yeah, but I was wrong to do that, so wrong, and – shit, Beca!' Chloe cries out a little when Beca's tongue slides over her collarbone. Apparently this is a sensitive spot.

'I want to kiss you right now,' Beca tells her abruptly, seeing Chloe's throat undulate with a swallow at her words. 'I have for a while now.'

'What's stopped you?'

She lifts her head and, rests her forehead against Chloe's. She knows she should let go of Chloe's hands, if only to make this more comfortable for both of them, but just the thought of doing that and allowing Chloe's hands on her again makes terror lick at her insides. 'The usual. Fear.'

Chloe tilts her head slightly, their noses bumping. 'Do I scare you?' asks Chloe.

She laughs derisively. 'Fuck yeah.'

'You scare me too,' Chloe confesses, the words coming out in a puff of breath against Beca's lips.

'I do?'

'So much. But… you also make me feel safe… More than anything else,' she says, looking up at Beca. Her eyes are half-lidded, and dark, so dark, but somehow she's still keeping her cool and isn't giving in to Beca's obvious attempts to work her up and force her to take back control from her. 'You look out for me, and you comfort me, and you hold me even though it scares the crap out of you. And you get overwhelmed sometimes, but that's okay. Because then I get to look after you too.'

She shouldn't have let Chloe talk, because her words are both a calming salve and a shot of adrenaline in her veins; anger and frustration is keeping panic at bay right now, but she knows as soon as this is over she's going to pay the price for pushing herself so much.

'You're so amazing to me,' Chloe is saying. 'I want to be able to return the favour. I want you to be safe with me. I want to prove that I'll always keep you safe.'

Beca says nothing, her breathing picking up its pace. She's losing control of herself slowly, and she knows it.

'Please let go of my hands, Beca. If you'll let me, I want to hold you.'

'I can't…'

'You can, I know you can.' She curls her fingers so they lightly rest upon Beca's. 'Whether you want to… That's a different story.'

'I… I do.' She bows her body forward so she's sitting a little higher on Chloe's stomach, in a more comfortable position, hearing Chloe groan softly. 'But… I want some other things, first.'

'What other things?'

'Kissing you,' she says bluntly. Chloe shivers.

'You want that?'

'So much.'

Chloe lets out a little noise at her answer, her body straining upwards against Beca's.

'If you want to, then do it,' she replies, her voice pitchy and breathless, 'please, Beca... I know you can…'

Beca doesn't even know when she finally let go of Chloe's hands. All she knows is that she feels them briefly snap to her hips, holding her in place before moving up to her face, cupping her cheeks, holding her, loving her, destroying her.

She just stares down at Chloe; her head swims with anxiety for a moment, her vision going fuzzy. But then it clears, and Chloe is still there, giving her a warm smile – too warm for someone like Beca. A single thought manages to fight its way to the front of her brain, that she wants to kiss that smile, feel it underneath hers and make it her own.

And then about there is kind of where her thoughts, and her breath, stops completely.

Because Chloe is kissing her, or maybe Beca is kissing her, she doesn't know, but

fuck

her lips are right there, just sort of resting but sliding against hers in the weirdest and best sensation ever and Chloe's eyes are closed but hers are open, wide open with fear; Beca can see her eyelashes casting shadows on her cheeksand she tastes sort of salty from sweat or tears or whatever but still smells fantastic and this is it, isn't it? This is what it was all building up to, all that drama and the way she would be so aware of Chloe's presence and the way her heart would pick up its rate in her chest whenever she was near her; she's wanted this so long

and here it is

don't fuck this up or she'll leave you

It's a movie style ending, in Jesse's films they'd fade to black about here with Chloe moaning softly against her mouth, a tongue tentatively searching for entrance, tracing the part where lip becomes skin again.

Beca should be kissing her back, moving, doing something, anything at all besides the way she's just lying there over Chloe, but she can't.

kiss her back

She can't.

KISS HER BACK

It's too late: Chloe's pulling back, a concerned look on her face, and Beca's letting out a pathetic little whimper because she doesn't want it to end even though she's basically been paralysed into a statue ever since their lips touched. Her hands are like claws at Chloe's shoulders, trying to pull her back in, but she cannot move.

'Beca?'

She hears Chloe's voice, but distantly; it ripples and is muffled, like she's underwater.

The second time though, she definitely hears as Chloe comes closer again, whispering urgently. 'Beca? Oh baby… Beca, breathe…' She is guided into a sitting position at the head of Chloe's bed, a hand stroking her back and guiding her head between her knees. 'Breathe…'

It's a struggle to even do that. Her lungs and heart feel like they're expanding in her chest, pressing against her rib cage and trying to squeeze through the gaps in her bones. She's dying. She knows it.

'Look at me, Beca, look at me.' She cups Beca's face and forces her to look at her, even as Beca's vision is beginning to go spotty. 'Concentrate on my voice, okay? This'll all be okay in a minute if you just relax. It's just your body getting overwhelmed, it's nothing to be scared of. You aren't dying.'

Somewhere in the deepest recesses of Beca's mind that haven't been lost due to oxygen deprivation, she wonders how Chloe knew she was thinking that.

'We're going to breathe together, alright? Slowly. In for three, hold it for three, release for three.'

The words mean nothing to Beca, but she responds to the gentle tone and thumbs gently brushing back and forth on her cheeks. Chloe's eyes are right in front of hers, so blue and worried. She concentrates on the black hole of Chloe's pupil, seeing herself reflected back in Chloe's iris, letting the familiar sight ground her.

'Do that with me, Beca. In… one, two, three… C'mon, Beca, breathe with me. It'll be okay. You're safe. I'm here. I'm not leaving you. Shh. Relax. There you go…'

Gradually, achingly slowly, Beca begins to calm down. She can finally take in a proper breath, however choppy it is, and she can also register how Chloe is rubbing softly up and down her arms again, that old familiar gesture that calms her even more.

'Let's get you some water,' Chloe says, her voice sounding normal again. She grabs a water bottle from her bag and heads off to the bathroom, returning a minute later with some fresh water. She holds it for Beca, tipping it back for her to allow her to drink.

When Chloe has done that, she gathers up the duvet and tucks it around Beca's trembling frame. She taps Beca's shoulders, and, feeling no resistance, tenderly guides Beca's forehead to her clavicle so she can hold her, running fingers through Beca's hair.

Eventually, even the shivering stops and her heart rate returns to normal. She detaches herself, averting her embarrassed eyes from Chloe so she can wipe away the tears that gathered on her cheeks.

'How are you feeling?' asks Chloe gently.

'Crap, but better,' Beca says, her voice raspy. 'What happened?'

'I'm not entirely sure, but I'm pretty sure you just had a panic attack.'

Beca frowns. 'Oh… How did you know what to do?'

'Aubrey sometimes has panic attacks like that,' Chloe explains. 'I've had a lot of experience in calming her down.'

'I thought she just puked a lot.'

'The vomiting is more rare, but yeah, she gets both.'

Beca sighs. 'Guess Aubrey and I have more in common than I thought.'

'You should talk to her, she might have some pointers.'

'If you don't mind, I'd rather just hope I never have to experience that again.' Beca pulls the duvet up higher, shutting her eyes. 'God, I feel like such a dickhead.'

'Don't. You got overwhelmed, your body shut down. There's no reason to be angry at yourself for that.'

'I'm not talking about the panic attack, Chloe,' she says tiredly. 'I mean… The way I was acting before…'

'Don't worry about that either. It's okay, I promise.'

'No, it wasn't,' Beca says, feeling nauseous. 'I was taking advantage of you. Heck, I practically forced myself on you.' She takes in a shaky breath. 'God, I am so disgusted with myself.'

'Beca Mitchell, you listen to me,' says Chloe forcefully, making Beca's eyes pop open in surprise. 'You did not force yourself on me, or do anything I didn't want to do. Not once did I ask you to stop, or even want you to. Okay? The only reason I was hesitant is because I know you aren't ready, and you weren't in the right mind set to be doing the things you were.'

'I thought I was.' She gives Chloe a rueful smile. 'At least for a little while… I was wrong, obviously.'

Chloe shrugs. 'Maybe so, but in the long run it doesn't matter. You'll be ready when you're ready.'

'What if I'm never ready?'

'We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, but I'm fairly confident you will be. It just takes time.'

'Maybe,' Beca mutters, playing with her fingers. She sighs, leaning her head back on the headboard. 'Hey, Chlo… Can I ask you something?'

'Always.'

'Is it alright if I hold you, and be the big spoon?' she asks nervously, without really knowing why she should be nervous at all. It's unlikely that Chloe would turn her down, but after the episode she just had she isn't really sure of anything anymore.

But Chloe looks delighted. 'Yeah, that's fine,' she says, already busy lying down and turning onto her side away from Beca.

Beca licks her lips, frowning a little, before she cautiously stretches out her body behind Chloe.

'Where is best to…' But Chloe's already read her mind, taking her hand and clasping it loosely to her chest. This has the side effect of forcing Beca to have to be pressed quite close to her to avoid having to stretch a lot. However, as her knees automatically slot into the spaces just behind Chloe's and she feels the freedom of all the space behind her which she can roll into if she needs to, her anxiety slowly begins to dissipate.

She hears Chloe sigh contently and can't help but smile at the comfort such a simple act seems to give to Chloe. She wishes she was the same, but at least things like this were getting easier for her and her panic attack hadn't set her back totally.

Now you freak out over different things instead, her mind, ever comforting, reminds her.

Chloe taps her hand. 'I can hear your brain working back there. What are you thinking?'

'Nothing much,' says Beca, letting her feet slide under Chloe's. 'I'm annoyed that as I start to get used to one thing, another thing turns up that seems to send me way back to the beginning.'

'Don't think of it like that, Beca.' She threads their fingers together. 'You're not going back to the beginning at all. You're levelling up.'

Beca raises an amused eyebrow at the back of Chloe's head. 'Levelling up?'

'Yeah, you know, like in a video game. You aren't restarting, you're just moving onto a harder mission.'

'Chloe Beale, I never pegged you as a game nerd.'

Chloe flashes a smirk over her shoulder. 'I think there are lots of things you're going to find out about me in good time, Beca Mitchell.'

Beca chuckles, leaning her forehead against Chloe's back at the very top of her spine. 'Looking forward to it.' The levity is only brief, though, as Beca soon finds her smile slipping away again and the melancholy beginning to settle in her bones once more. 'I've never had that happen to me before,' she whispers into Chloe's hair, feeling Chloe tighten her grip on her hand. 'It was so scary.'

'I know. But sometimes things like that happen, and you've had an incredibly stressful day. It was bound to catch up with you sooner or later.'

'Yeah, but did it have to do it then? So damn inconvenient,' she mumbles, feeling Chloe's body shake a little with laughter.

'I'm not sure panic attacks are ever convenient.'

'You're right, but… Man, this really sucks,' she complains.

'I know, Bec. But think about what you've achieved – you managed to touch me for like half an hour before it caught up with you.'

'Yeah, only because I was so angry.'

'Still counts,' Chloe says, unfazed by Beca's pessimism. 'And you kissed me, of your own accord. That's something, right?'

'I guess so,' Beca replies uncertainly. 'I mean, I was enjoying it up until the panic attack kicked in.'

'Mmm… Me too.' Chloe's mischievous tone makes Beca roll her eyes, but it's fond. 'I enjoyed it quite a lot, actually. You're a good kisser.'

'What?' Beca splutters. 'How? I've only kissed like, one person, and that barely even deserves to be called a kiss.'

'Really? Only one?' Chloe sounds surprised. 'Wow.'

'How many people did you think I'd kissed? I can barely hug people,' says Beca wryly.

'I don't know, I just assumed it'd be more,' Chloe says. 'Does that mean I'm your first "real" kiss, then?'

'Uh… Yeah. I guess so.'

Chloe lets out a little squeal. 'Oh my God, that's so cute!'

'Oh shut up. You've pretty much taken all my firsts as it is, so there's no need to get excited.'

'Too right – I'm the first person you harmonised with in a shower while naked…' Chloe teases. 'I enjoy that title.'

'You would.' Beca sighs a little, ruffling Chloe's hair.

'You okay back there?' asks Chloe, reaching back to stroke her hip.

'Yeah, it's just… How have we gone to … earlier, to this? Joking around and stuff. It doesn't seem right.'

'Well, laughter or sarcasm seems to help you more than being held, so I thought it'd be better if I kept the conversation light,' says Chloe. Beca realises how true this is, and squeezes Chloe's fingers a little in thanks. 'We can talk about earlier some more, if you want.'

'I feel like we should… But I honestly have no idea what to say about it anymore. I've apologised, you told me not to, we talked about the panic attack, we talked about the kiss. What does that leave?'

From Chloe's silence, she has obviously thought of something.

'Chlo?'

Chloe coughs slightly, shifting on the bed. 'There is one thing I could think of,' she says delicately, 'but we don't have to talk about it right now.'

'What is it?'

'It's about us…'

'What about us?'

'Well. We've kissed, now, even though I get the feeling you were planning to wait until we'd had a date or two.' Beca nods. 'I just wondered if you'd had time to think about where this leaves us.'

'Like… a label, or something,' Beca tries to clarify, frowning when Chloe agrees. 'Do we have to label it right now?'

'No, no,' says Chloe hurriedly. 'Of course not.'

Beca can tell from her tone that Chloe doesn't quite mean that, but she's trying not to push her. She sighs, propping her head up on her elbow. 'You really want to, don't you?'

'No if you don't want to,' says Chloe. Beca gives her a little poke in the back. 'Okay, fine – I don't want you to if you're not ready, but I just think it would help us. With knowing where we stand with each other, and what's appropriate or not.'

'So… What, you want to be my girlfriend or something?' Just the word makes Beca's heart feel like it's skipped a little, but she tries to push aside those kinds of knee-jerk reactions.

'Not if you don't.'

'That's not what I asked you, I know how I feel about it. There's two of us here you know, not just me.' Chloe doesn't answer. 'Chloe… What do you want?'

There's a pregnant pause, then Chloe whispers, 'I want to be your girlfriend, Beca.'

Slowly, Beca lies back down, chewing on her lip as she stares at the back of Chloe's head. There's obvious tension in Chloe's shoulders as she waits for what she thinks is an inevitable rejection.

'I don't really know how to be a girlfriend,' Beca says quietly. 'I'm not romantic, and I can't deal with PDA, and I get grumpy and stupid and push everyone away. I can only just cuddle you, I have panic attacks when I kiss you, and unless things change a lot I'd probably never be able to make love to you. What could you possibly see in me that could be good girlfriend material?'

She expects an answer, but Chloe just asks, 'Can I turn around please?'

'Um, okay.'

Chloe does so. Beca notices that her eyes a little red around the edges, but for the most part she simply looks determined. 'You know what I want in a girlfriend?'

This seems like a trick question. 'No?'

'It's none of those things you listed. I don't need you to be a romantic, or enjoy PDA. I can deal with you pushing me away, as long as you know it just means I'm going to cling to you twice as hard. And about the physical stuff…' Chloe props her own head up on her arm. 'It's not nearly as important as you think it is. I could forego all that, for you.'

'But you need physical contact, I don't want to deprive you,' Beca says, frowning.

'Exactly. I know you don't. And that's precisely why it's okay: you keep trying, even though you're struggling, and that's what I see in you – someone who cares about me enough they're willing to do anything for me, no matter how difficult. I could forego it, but I won't have to, because you're willing to try for me.'

She takes Beca's shaking hand and kisses it.

'All I want from being your girlfriend, from having a label and name for us…' Chloe takes a breath. 'Is exclusivity. I want to know that I am yours, and you are mine, and that you aren't going to have about twenty other people at the same time.'

Suddenly, things slot into place for Beca, and she begins to understand why Chloe has always been quite insistent that they define themselves clearly and be honest about what they both want. 'Kate?'

Chloe nods bitterly. 'I was her girlfriend, but she was never mine. We never really called it anything.'

'I'm so sorry…'

'Don't be. It happened. But Beca, that's why I need this,' she says pleadingly. 'I'm trying not to push you, but it's so hard when I'm scared that the reason you don't want to commit to me is because you want to be like her… I can't take that, I'm stupid and I'm jealous and possessive, but I need to know you're going to be faithful to me…'

Chloe lifts her hand to wipe away her tears, but Beca beats her to it.

'Of course I'm going to be faithful,' Beca says softly. 'Chloe… You're it, for me. You must know that.'

Chloe sniffs, shaking her head. 'In my heart, I think I do, but my head hasn't really caught up, and it needs the reassurance.' Her eyes are imploring Beca, the tears filling up and spilling over once more. 'You don't have to decide right now, but please… Soon?'

Beca searches Chloe's face slowly. She doesn't think she's ever seen the girl as insecure as she looks right now. To have the usually confident Chloe Beale reduced to a crying mess just because Beca can't put a stupid label on what they're doing is quite a sobering thought, and one that finally makes Beca's mind up for her.

'What if I want to decide right now?' she says quietly.

The look on Chloe's face is priceless. 'What?' she squeaks, her eyes widening.

'You heard me.'

'But you – what?' Chloe's jaw drops. 'What are you saying?!'

'Chloe,' she asks determinedly - her voice is also going all high-pitched with nerves, but she presses on - '… Be my girlfriend?'

She says it too quickly, so what really comes out is something "bemuhguhfrun", but Chloe still understands – she sits bolt upright, her face turning pink and her eyes widening even more, if possible.

'Are you serious?' Chloe shrieks, nearly deafening Beca.

'Ow,' says Beca, rubbing her ear… 'And yeah, I'm serious. For once in my life.'

'Yes!' Chloe all but screams, practically bouncing up and down. 'I would love to be your girlfriend!'

The way Chloe is looking at her right now, and the palpable, almost childlike excitement on her face makes Beca blush and rub the back of her head bashfully. She never thought it was possible for anyone to get excited over the prospect of being in a relationship with her, but apparently it is.

'So… We're together now?' she asks awkwardly.

'That is usually what being girlfriends means, yes,' Chloe teases, but she's beaming so hard it makes Beca's face ache just looking at her. 'Oh my goodness,' she says, with a sudden look of realisation, 'I have to go tell Bree!'

She begins to scramble off the bed, but Beca catches her wrist and stops her going. Chloe looks at her questioningly, but she soon realises what's going on when Beca gets up onto her knees and starts leaning in again.

Just as she's about to kiss Chloe again, she finds her mouth's path blocked by a hand – she lets out a little noise of protest which if anyone asked she'd swear wasn't her.

'Wait, Beca,' Chloe whispers urgently, 'are you sure? I don't want you to get worried again.'

Nor does Beca, really. In fact, she's scared to death of that exact same thing happening to her again, that sickening tightness in her chest and feeling like her heart would be ready to give out at any moment – and if she's being honest, she feels some of those symptoms beginning to creep up on her now.

But the difference between now and then is that her chest feels tight because she's happy – ridiculously so, actually - and her heart is beating fast partly from nerves, but mostly because of the desperate urge she feels right now to kiss Chloe properly for once.

'I'll always be worried,' Beca tells her. 'I can't escape it. But I've got you, and I know you'll be able to help me through it. Right now, I just want to kiss my girlfriend, and forget about everything else.'

Chloe's smile comes back full force at these words, her eyes crinkling adorably at the corners.

Then, she gently reaches up, slides her fingers into Beca's hair and pulls her head down for a kiss.

When Beca and Chloe appear downstairs about an hour later, they are greeted by cheers from the assembled Bellas, along with the Treblemakers who have apparently decided to join in with the party. Beca is amazed Aubrey even allowed them in, but after one look at her in the corner flirting with Unicycle, she instantly knows why.

'Did you guys do it yet?!' Cynthia Rose yells to them, obviously quite drunk since she needs both Stacie and Denise to hold her up.

'I don't see any hickies,' says Amy, coming over to inspect Beca and Chloe's necks. 'I'm disappointed, guys.'

'Are you two together now?' That's Aubrey, who has finally noticed that her best friend has appeared. She stumbles over, dragging Uni with her, and gives Beca and Chloe's joined hands a squinty-eyed look. 'Tha's cool, I guess…'

'Jeez, Aubrey, how much have you had to drink?' Beca asks, laughing, but regrets it when Aubrey glares at her.

'Not too much that I can't still hurt you if you hurt m'best friend!' she slurs, waving Unicycle's hand at Beca menacingly.

'I'd be careful Aubrey, lesbro code means I'd have to hurt you if you hurt my best friend,' says a deep voice from behind Beca – both girls turn to see Jesse standing right behind them. 'Hey guys.'

She feels Chloe's grip tighten around her protectively, but Beca gives her a reassuring look and she reluctantly loosens it.

'Hi,' says Beca neutrally. 'How're you doing?'

'I'm good,' replies Jesse. 'Congrats on the win. You guys deserved it, that was such an awesome mix of songs.'

'It was all Beca,' says Chloe, planting a rather sloppy and unnecessary kiss on Beca's cheek. Beca raises an eyebrow, trying to hide her smirk - Chloe is obviously a little jealous and is doing nothing to hide it. 'She's so talented.'

'Yep, she is. Although, what was with the whole "Don't You Forget About Me" thing?' he asks, tilting his head.

Beca shrugs. 'I like the song, so I suggested we put it in.' She tries to ignore how Jesse's face falls, since it only happens for a moment and he does his best to hide it.

'Well, that's cool. It sounded great.'

Beca turns to Chloe. 'Chlo, can you give me a minute with Jesse?'

'Are you sure?' When Chloe nods, she grudgingly steps away from Beca. 'I'm watching you, Swanson,' Chloe hisses, pointing two of her fingers at her eyes and then at Jesse's. 'If Beca even makes a face I don't like because of you I'm going to get Aubrey to lock you in a room while we sing "I Saw The Sign" to you endlessly.' With that, she skips off to go squee with Cynthia Rose, who gives her an uncoordinated high five, nearly smacking Denise in the face. Beca and Jesse watch her go, amazed.

'What just happened?' Jesse asks, in awe.

'I have no idea, but it was hot.'

'Too right. So…' he says, clearing his throat and drumming his fingers on the cup in his hand. 'You guys are together for real, now?'

'Mmhm. Girlfriends.' The word makes Beca smile in a way she never has before, and Jesse notices it.

'You're happy with her, then?'

'You have no idea, Jesse,' she says honestly. 'She makes me feel…' She struggles for the word. 'Things. Like, so many things.'

He chuckles at that. 'Well, I could only ever hope you'd find someone who made you feel "things".' She rolls her eyes and gives him a little punch in the arm. He winces and rubs the spot she hit. 'Ow… Wow, at least I know that hasn't changed…'

'And it never will.'

'Good to know.' He sighs, raising his eyes to hers. 'Beca, look, I'm really sorry about the way I acted the other day. It was totally out of line.'

'A little,' says Beca. 'But I forgive you.'

Jesse looks surprised. 'Really? It's that easy?'

Beca smirks. 'Well - not exactly. Personally, I agree with Chloe about making you listen to "I Saw The Sign" over and over.'

'No!' he cries dramatically, pretending to look frightened. 'Not Ace of Base! You are evil, woman!'

'It was Chloe's idea – she's the evil one.'

'Oh right. I guess you're the good cop then.' He drains his drink, peering at her over the top. 'So I'm guessing I'm going to have to answer to her if I do anything as monumentally douche as what I did the other day.'

'Pretty much, yeah. If that happens, I'll pray for you,' Beca says, putting her hand on her heart. 'I think you might need it if she ever decides you're deserving of some revenge.'

They both look over at Chloe, who is currently doing a rather spirited and tipsy (at least, the others are) impromptu performance of some of the dance moves from their show earlier, complete with slightly off-key singing.

Seeing Beca's (rather dorky) smile - which she would of course deny if confronted about it - Jesse gives her nudge with his shoulder.

'You should go over there. Be with your girlfriend and stuff.'

She studies him carefully, looking for any signs of brooding or at the very least a puppy dog pout, but to her relief she sees nothing. 'You sure?'

'Yeah, 'course. I'll be alright here.'

'Thanks, dude,' says Beca, giving him a fist bump which is returned heartily. He gives her a mock-salute, which Beca also returns, before trotting over to find her girlfriend (seriously, she will never tire of that word).

She ducks around a frantically beatboxing Donald and Lily, finally coming up behind Chloe and tapping the dancing girl on the shoulder.

Chloe whirls around, brightening when she sees it's Beca. 'Hey! How did it go?'

'Alright,' says Beca. 'He apologised, and stuff, so I think we're okay now.'

'It was the least he could do,' Chloe says, shooting a glare off in his direction, except he's been distracted by Benji so he doesn't even see it. 'I'd have been so pissed off he didn't.'

'And wouldn't that have been a sight to see,' Beca teases.

'Oh, totes! You don't wanna see me really angry, Mitchell. It's pretty scary.' She bares her teeth, making Beca laugh.

'I bet.' She leans up and loops her arms around Chloe's neck, pulling her closer – still marvelling at the fact that she can do that with only some hesitation now. Chloe's hands settle on her back, making small circles on her shoulder blades.

'You okay there?' Chloe asks.

'Yep.' They stumble a little as one of the Trebles nearly falls over them as he dances backwards, but they manage to stay upright somehow. 'Actually, would it be cheesy to say "never better?"'

'Hmm, maybe a little,' says Chloe teasingly, 'but if it's accurate, then I'm sure you'll be forgiven.'

'Then, yeah,' Beca whispers, pressing her lips to Chloe's jaw, then leaning her head on her shoulder and shutting her eyes. 'Never better.'

A/N: I have a feeling there may be a few who take issue with this last chapter and the scene with Beca and Chloe in the hotel room, but I had my reasons for doing what I did how I did it, and I'm happy to discuss it with anyone who wants me to.

So… That's it! Wow. My God. You know, I still have no idea how I managed to write so much in such a short space of time. I guess knowing it had to be done before the 15th of March was a big motivator. :P I'm off to France for ten weeks tomorrow, so we'll see how things go with posting follow up stories!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed, including people who reviewed as guests or didn't sign in. The response to this fic has been phenomenal and what I'll miss most about writing it is speaking to all of you and hearing your thoughts on the fic, even those bittersweet messages from people telling me they related to Beca and her struggle. I met some really lovely people doing this and hope I still get to talk to them.

I'll try and write more in this universe since their story isn't really over even if this part of their lives is, but it won't be the same. It'd be nice if you guys could review for me one more time so I can message back and thank you individually, haha, but don't feel like you have to. Although I probably won't be around 'til Sunday at the earliest, so don't expect immediate replies.

I don't want to ramble too much. So. Thank you guys so much. Less than 3.

P.S. Quick note – I have quite a few bonus scenes/extras I want to show you, so if you guys don't mind I'll try and clean them up and post them as an extra chapter at some point… With a little commentary from me since they won't make sense otherwise!