Back at the camp

Jin had convinced Juliet to go fishing with him. Apart from the fact that he thought everyone should know how to fish (and she had managed to ignore that for the past three years by simply saying 'Fishing is a guy thing Jin. I don't want to get in the way of your male bonding') he considered it to be a good distraction. And distraction was exactly what Juliet needed. Her forehead had turned into a constant frown and she'd been complaining about headaches for two days now. He knew she was worried. And even though he was worried himself, he covered it up and made it his personal mission to get her to relax. After all, he'd promised James to keep an eye on her.

He showed her his gear: the fishing rod, an improvised net, his bate. And then continued displaying different techniques ("If you place the net here, it will catch all the fish coming from that side. Just look at the current. And the rod works best from this angle. The bigger fish tend to like that spot. Don't ask me why, they just do."). She watched, listened and nodded. "Now you do it." He looked at her, expectantly. She took the fishing net from him and tried to remember what he'd just said. Something about the current? She placed the net in the water, adjusted it a bit, took it out of the water, and placed it back again. It wouldn't stay put. She took the net out again. Jin sighed. She looked up. "I'm guessing not the right spot?" She smiled, but there was nothing happy about her expression. Jin sat down on a rock. "Juliet." He patted the empty spot next to him with his hand. She sat down.

"This is day six Jin."

"I know."

"Something is wrong."

"You don't know that."

"I feel it."

"You must try not to worry. It is not helping you or anyone else."

She pushed her hair behind her ears and wiped away a tear. "It's not helping anyone to just sit here and fish too." The words came out a little harsh. "I'm sorry." She turned and looked at Jin. "I know you're only trying to make me feel better."

Jin wasn't easily offended. "I am worried a bit myself. But I also know that Sawyer is tough. He is a survivor. And Miles and Kate… they all know the jungle. Or ... are you still worried about Kate?"

"I thought you wanted me to stop worrying. Don't make it worse."

Jin smiled and took the fishing net out of her hands. "Remember that time we lost radio contact for days?" Of course she remembered. James had been gone for more than 48 hours without any sign of life. She had wanted to station herself permanently in the security office to just scan monitors hour after hour. Jin had let her, for a while. But he eventually sent her home, with the line that he knew where to find her in case of anything. She'd reluctantly given in, but only because she knew he could get into trouble (It was against Horace's (and James') policy to let non-security people into the security room). It had been close to midnight, she was sitting on the couch attempting to read, when he had just walked in. Soaking wet, dirty and tired, but otherwise ok. He had looked at her and – as if this was him coming home after a normal day of work – had smiled while simply saying "Hello darlin'! Thanks for waiting up". She had dropped the book and had literally jumped of the sofa and into his arms. He had been just fine. He's probably just fine.

"Let's just wait until tomorrow. If they are not back by then we can go look for them" Jin suggested.

Juliet felt her body relax a bit with that idea out in the open. She had also noticed the dark clouds inland. "The rains are coming" she thought out loud. It had been raining on and off for the past 24 hours. Soon it would pretty much rain for hours straight and she knew that meant the jungle would turn into a giant mud pool. But still, the idea alone felt like a relief. Go look for them. Much better than to just sit here and wait.

"We have to discuss this with Jack and Sun."

"OK." She nodded.

The day before ~ Hydra island

Everyone looked at Hurley, shocked by the fact that that smiling good humored guy – who no one considered capable of even harming a mouse – had successfully shot a gun. And hit someone with it, full in in the chest. Hurley was just as shocked as his audience and – in an attempt to distance himself from what he'd just done – threw the gun away. Frank ran forward and picked it out of the sand, keeping it aimed to the ground.

Some people ran towards Ben, others' attention turned back to Miles who was still wailing while trying to stop his own bleeding. Kate let go of Sawyer and ran over to Frank. She ripped the gun from his hand, opened it to check for any more bullets, and when there appeared to be none left, handed it back to Frank. "It's empty" she said, sounding relieved.

Sawyer lifted himself of the ground. He hadn't seen Ben move since Hurley shot him but he couldn't see if he was dead or not. There were a bunch of people blocking his view. Instead of finding out, he decided to retreat and walked over to his friend. "Lemme see." He tried to roll up the leg of Miles' jeans. Miles screamed as a reply. "Damn it. That hurts." Sawyer backed up, not wanting to add to Miles' misery. Instead, he took off his shirt and tied it tightly around where he thought the wound was. "Sorry buddy. Gotta stop this bleeding." He tried to pull Miles towards the first boat. "Kate! Help me get him in here." Kate ran over to where they were. James had grabbed Miles on one side, right arm under his friend's armpit, the other under his knee. Kate positioned herself on Miles' other side. Together they lifted him and – under loud screaming protest from Miles himself – placed him in the first canoe.

Frank walked over to the group that had gathered around Ben. He pushed two people aside to see for himself. Ben was lying in the sand. His face looked terrible: his nose painfully dislocated and blood dripping from the bullet wound. Frank kneeled beside him and placed his right ear over Ben's mouth. He felt a light breath: the guy was still alive. Poor bastard.

"You! You!" He rose back to his feet and randomly pointed at the two men standing closest to him. "Help me move him."

"Move him? Where to?"

"To the boat. One of the people on the other island is a doctor." Since none of the survivors here had a clue of what was going on and this man – after all – was their pilot (and a seemingly OK guy), they did as Frank asked. A few minutes later, Ben was in boat number two. Frank climbed into it with him and pressed a piece of cloth to the spot where the bullet had pierced Ben's chest.

"Hurley, let's go!" He yelled at Hurley who seemed glued to the exact spot where he had pulled the trigger. One of the men who had helped Frank move Ben was still standing next to the canoe. "Frank? That's your name right?" Frank looked at him. "Can I…" the guy, who was clearly uncomfortable and confused, rubbed the side of the boat nervously. "What's going on?" he managed to finally ask. Frank sighed. "Listen, I know this all seems bizarre. Trust me, I know these people and even I don't know how to explain what just happened. But…" he paused for a second. "These are good people. I can give you my word. Please, just… stay here and try to calm everyone. Keep yourselves safe. Wait for rescue." He added a small smile and briefly patted the man's shoulder as a sign of comfort.

Hurley had managed to move himself to the boats. He stared at Ben lying in one of the canoes and then walked on and climbed into the other one. Kate looked at James and then walked over to Frank and Ben: it was clear that neither Sawyer nor Hurley should be near Ben right now. She pushed the boat a bit further into the water and then climbed in. Sawyer did the same with the other boat. The people left on the beach, including Caesar, who was still sitting in the sand, his face covered with his hands, watched them leave. None of them tried to stop them.

Paddling to the other island took forever. Frank and Hurley's job was pressing cloth to wounds, so the actual work was left to Sawyer and Kate. On top of that, there was a fierce wind working against them. If he'd been able to bypass his own anger and aggression, Sawyer would have noticed the changing weather and recognized it as the upcoming rainy season. But he was in his own world and could only focus on one thing: slamming those paddles into the water as hard and fast as possible – over and over. When he reached the dock dark clouds had gathered in the sky above them. He looked to see where Kate was – still a long way away. He jumped on the dock and with Hurley's help lifted Miles out of the boat. He carried him to the nearest Dharma house and the thought popped up that Miles would never forgive him if he ever were to joke about having to carry him around like a girl.

Hurley waited at the dock for the second boat to arrive. When James returned, Kate was just stepping out. The scene inside the boat did not look good. The bottom of the canoe was red with blood and Frank's white shirt was equally ruined. The pilot tried to pull Ben up and together with Sawyer managed to lift him out of the boat. Sawyer wanted to move towards the barracks immediately but Frank held still. He lowered Ben's legs until they were touching the wooden planks, forcing Sawyer to let go as well. Frank sat down as the first drops of rain fell from the clouds.

"I think he's dead."

"What! No dude, that can't be!" Hurley snapped back from his fantasy world to reality. Ben couldn't be dead! That would mean he had killed someone.

"I'm sorry Hugo. But I think he is." Hurley's right hand covered his own mouth as the truth sank in. He had just shot a man in cold blood.

As the few drops of rain turned into a solid tropical shower they all had to move. And since Ben couldn't be left alone on the dock, Sawyer and Frank carried him into the house where Miles was. Kate and Hurley followed. There was a rumble outside. The first sign of thunder. It would be totally irresponsible to go into the jungle now. Miles, whose agony had turned into sheer anger, did not hold back cursing whoever had come up with the brilliant plan to go on this trip without one of their doctors. James snapped back at him. Kate snapped at the both of them. Then everyone went quiet. They all knew they were stuck in Dharma Ville for the rest of the day. And they all, in the privacy of their own minds, cursed the jungle and this island.

The night to Miles was hell. His leg felt like it was exploding and all he could think of was how he would just love to have a good amount of alcohol to numb himself. He wasn't so lucky. Supplies at Dharma Ville were close to non-existent. And the only bottle of alcohol they did manage to find was to be saved for cleaning Miles' wound. The storm outside, combined with Miles' moaning kept most of them from any proper sleep. Kate examined Miles wound again early in the morning. The bullet was stuck somewhere deep and, since the only experience in their group with removing bullets was James taking one out of his own shoulder with his bare hands, it was obvious that they needed to get Miles back to their camp so that Jack could take care of this. Kate and Frank assembled two stretchers from branches and curtains, and when the heaviest thunder seemed to have passed they put Miles and Ben into them and went on their way. Hurley and Sawyer had argued about taking Ben or not but James had insisted. He wanted Juliet to see his body. She would otherwise never believe he was actually dead.

Progress was slow. It was difficult enough to find the path and to avoid slipping, but having to carry two men on top of that made this hike incredibly hard. They rested frequently, drinking water, eating some fruits. Two hours out of Dharma Ville, the rain stopped. This part of the island seemed to have been saved from the heaviest rain so far. Hurley asked for a rest, and they put the stretchers down.

Sawyer had taken of his shoes and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Just a few more hours" it was Kate who sat down next to him. He nodded.

"You excited about going home?" she continued.

"Sure. Ain't we all." He didn't sound at all convincing. He sighed. "If this works… I hope it works. But that's mainly because I want her to be able to go home."

"You can go home together."

"I don't know what's waiting for me out there Kate. It may not be pretty."

She shook her head, knowing exactly what he was getting at.

"There's nothing waiting for you James. I'm so sorry. I should have told you sooner. No one is looking for you."

He stretched his back and looked at her, his expression puzzled.

"Isn't that what you're talking about? You in Australia? Your name was never linked to that James."

"How the hell do you know that?"

"Because I checked. Or, to be honest, I had Cassidy check it for me. She was able to, considering you're Clem's father."

Sawyer was stunned. And annoyed. This had him worried the entire trip to the smaller island. She must have known that. But he also felt huge relief. "You sure about this?" he asked in a low voice, almost whispering. Kate nodded. "I'm sure." Sawyer pressed his eyebrows with both hands. All of a sudden he felt so tired.

They had been walking another two hours, but this time Miles had asked for a break. The ride was too bumpy for him and he needed to lie still to ease the pain. They paused close to a small stream. Kate had slowly retreated from the group. She was sitting by the water, back turned towards the rest of them. Sawyer walked up to her and sat down on a rock close to hers.

"What's going on Kate?"

She flashed a weak smile. "I just need some space to myself."

He kept looking at her and she knew she had to come out with it.

"I just … thought maybe there would be something left between us. I don't know. Seems kind of stupid to think nothing would have changed for you in three years." She looked away, feeling slightly embarrassed to bring this up after the ordeal they'd just been through.

Sawyer shook his head. "You and me Kate… Our first kiss wasn't exactly a bed of roses. I conned you! First time we had sex was in a cage. And if my memory serves me right, you thought I was a dead man. How romantic is that!"

"James…"

"Freckles." He put his hand up. "Please, I gotta say this." He took a deep breath and let it slip between his teeth.

"Me and Juliet… Our first kiss happened after tip toeing around each other for weeks. The first time we slept together … it was in a proper bed. We were safe, happy. No one was on the run. You see the difference there Kate? I ain't saying that what happened between us didn't mean nothin'. Hell, you can quiz Jules on all the nights I spent whining about 'what would Kate be doing right now' or 'who is Kate with tonight'. I just…" He paused, thinking over his next words.

"With Juliet… things happened so slowly. I know our story ain't original: becoming friends first, then lovers. And to you and Jack and the others we must seem like a crazy combo. But the truth is Kate … this totally amazing thing happened. I never thought I could have that, you know. Think it took me over six months to believe her and me were really truly happening. And I can still look at her… And I think: what the hell did I do to deserve this? Where did I go right?"

He sighed and stayed silent for half a minute. Kate just looked at him, not knowing whether to be touched or hurt by what he'd just said.

"I'm gonna ask her to marry me." He looked up at Kate now. She in return looked away. Touched or not, she hadn't seen this one coming. And this definitely hurt. Sawyer noticed it and looked back at the ground. After a minute or two he slowly got up. "I'm gonna check on Miles. Don't stay out here by yourself too long, ok?"