My Husband the Spiteful; My Wife the Inebriated
"Wow, you really suck at this," Yatogami said to the chestnut-haired man across the table from him.
"S-s-s-shut up! I've only played ping pong once ever before in my life!" Misaki barked. Not only was he bad at ping pong, he was also drunk, as the effects of the alcohol had hit him hard.
It was true that the crow had never played ping pong more than once before. The only other time he had attempted the sport was during the middle school athletics festival, where he and Saruhiko got stuck playing when all the other sports were filled up. The two didn't play for more than five minutes until one of the other team members made a joke about Yata's terrible skill. The match quickly ended as the crow flipped the table over and proceeded to chase after the boy.
"It's a good thing that you're not playing for money, because you'd be flat out broke in no time."
"Come on now, Kuro-kun. Why are you acting like this? You know that the Red clansman is drunk right now. He wouldn't be able to come close to matching your skill level."
"WHAT!? IS THAT A CHALLENGE? BRING IT ON THEN, I'LL TAKE ON BOTH OF YOU AT THE SAME TIME!" Misaki shouted. Whether it was intentional or not, the Silver King had riled up the Red clansman enough to make him jump into this match blindly. Not that the crow actually stopped to think about things in the first place, but Yata refused to back down after someone openly looked down upon him.
"Ummm…but wouldn't that make it even less fair then?" Shiro smiled, but he began to worry about how the match would end up. He knew that the chestnut-haired Red clansman was quick-tempered and violent, and he would rather not have the crap kicked out of him on his vacation weekend.
"Then how about I join his side then? That would even things out, wouldn't it?" Saruhiko appeared beside Misaki, ping pong paddle in hand.
"Ahhh Saru! What are you doing, interfering with my fight!? I can handle myself!" The little vanguard's words began to slur as the alcohol was pulsing through him.
"Don't kid yourself. You wouldn't even be able to beat Anna in your current state. Just shut up, and I'll finish off this worthless trash."
Misaki, who began to fill a little bit light-headed, nodded and quietly replied, "Fine, I got it."
The amber-eyed man's calmness was short-lived however, as he quickly went back to threatening the Silver clansmen across from him. "But if we play, we'll have a punishment game afterwards for the losers! They will…they will…HAVE TO DRESS UP IN WOMEN'S CLOTHES!"
"Hmmmm? That actually doesn't sounds like a bad idea. Izumo, we should go play ping pong at the other table and have a punishment game for the loser as well," Seri said with a devious smile.
Somehow, Kusanagi felt as if he were walking the Green Mile as he slowly followed behind the blonde Scepter 4 officer to the other table.
"Wa-wait a minute! It's not like we even have girls' clothing that would fit us here!" Shiro could only imagine the humiliation of having to wear a frilly dress and have the Lieutenant walk by and see him.
"Don't worry about that, Shiro! Leave it to me, nya! I can use my super sure-kill technique to make them appear, nya!" Neko purred as she hugged onto the Silver King.
A serious, focused expression appeared on Kuro's face. "We will accept your challenge, Red and Blue clansmen. Prepare yourself."
"We wouldn't have wanted it any other way! Bring it on Silver clansmen!" Misaki's aura began to overflow as he readied himself for battle.
The rules were set at the beginning. It would be best out of seven. None of them would be allowed to use their color abilities during the match.
The little crow turned to his partner. "Saru…do you even know how to play ping pong? I don't remember you getting even one point during the athletics festival."
Fushimi adjusted his glasses before practicing his paddle swings. "That's only because it would have been too much effort to try. I knew you were going to get frustrated and get us disqualified anyway."
Misaki flinched a bit. He knew that what the stupid monkey said was spot on, but he would rather die than admit that. So, the vanguard of HOMRA decided to focus all of that frustration to do better during this match instead.
Yukizome, who was delegated the task of official referee, gave a speech before they began. "Alright! Welcome everyone to the Super Duper Hot Springs Ping Pong Tournament here at Midoriyama Hot Springs and Inn! We have an exciting match-up for today as we have the Red and Blue clan in the East wing and the Silver clansmen in the West!"
Some of the other clansmen within the vicinity began to form a circle around the table, curious as to what would transpire during the event.
Kukuri continued on, "Okay you guys! I want a good clean fight here! No physical violence allowed! We shall begin now. Kuro-kun to serve!"
There was an unusual moment of serenity within the room. Yatogami closed his eyes and thought, "Ichigen-sama, I will make you proud today."
The Black Dog then opened his eyes. Despite looking completely composed, his eyes flamed with passion. He threw the ball into the air and went into striking stance. As if he were preparing to slash his unlucky victim in front of from, Kuro sliced his paddle as if he were handling Ichigen's sword, Meitou Kotowari. Before Yata or Fushimi could act, the ping pong ball hit the table and quickly flew away. The two stood in silence as they saw the place that the Black Dog had struck was still smoking from the contact.
"What the…" Misaki mumbled, still in shock.
The crowd suddenly burst out into a series of shouts and cheers.
"Whoooaaaa! Nice serve, Silver clansman!"
"Haha, Fushimi-san just got served!"
"Wipe that smug look off that bastard's face, Black Dog!"
"Yata-san is doomed. He's going to get schooled by these two."
"OI! WHY THE HELL ARE ALL OF OUR OWN FUCKING CLANSMEN TALKING SHIT ABOUT US? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WANT US TO WIN, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!" Misaki was beyond furious.
"Shut up, Red clansman. You should stop worrying about what other people are saying and actually focus on hitting the ball," Kuro said as he prepared for his next serve.
"Haha! This is fun! Silver Clan 1-0. Kuro-kun to serve!" Kukuri said with glee.
The Black Dog prepared himself as he lowered into his striking stance again as he tossed the ball into the air. With a swift, heavy strike Kuro sliced the ball at the Red and Blue clansman's side. "This will be an easy victory," Yatogami thought to himself.
Then, without saying a word, Fushimi began to lift his arms and prepare himself for the incoming serve. With paddle in hand, he drew the handle portion back to his chest while aiming the paddle straight at the Silver clansmen. As the ball bounced from the table and started moving towards the Blue clansman, Fushimi used his lightning quick reflexes to smash the ball back to the other side. As the ball bounced and fell onto the floor, everyone became silent again.
Saruhiko clicked his tongue and said flatly, "Who is going to get served by who again?"
As his trademark smirk appeared across his face, the crowd began to cheer again.
"Wow! That was Fushimi-san's counter-stance strike!"
"Not bad there Fushimi!"
"Even though you're a complete douchebag, you are still impressive!"
"Yeah! What an asshole!"
"Stop being such a prick all the time!"
"Emo boy! Emo boy!"
"Get a life you creepy loner!"
"Baldy!"
The room suddenly became uncomfortably hot. A deep crimson glow began to surround the Scepter 4 officer as he stood there quietly.
"Oi…Saru…Are you oka—" Misaki's words were cut off as the entire room got surrounded in flames.
"WHO THE HELL JUST CALLED ME BALDY AT THE END!? HOW THE HELL AM I EVEN CLOSE TO BEING BALD!?"
The normally cool and quiet third-in-command of the Blue clan had completely snapped. He began to throw his fire daggers all throughout the room, causing huge explosions everywhere. The game room was filled with cries of terror as they ran from Fushimi.
Ten minutes and fifty thousand yen later, the clansmen all sat in silence after being chewed out by Awashima and Kusanagi. "You're lucky they're still letting us stay here and didn't kick us out to the curb!" Seri said angrily.
As the ping pong table had burst into flames during Saruhiko's rampage, the Silver clansmen won by default, as Fushimi and Yata were disqualified for breaking the rules.
"Sooo…although a lot of things happened in between the start of the game and now…I declare Shiro-kun and Kuro-kun the winners of the match!"
"WHAT!? GOD DAMMIT SARU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Misaki was shaking in anger.
"I don't want to hear it from someone who can barely even see straight from being completely inebriated," Saruhiko replied.
"Come on guys, this was all just competitive fun here," the Silver King tried to calm the two to prevent another disaster.
"With that, it's now Neko's turn to do her magic!" As flower petals began to filled the room, Neko meowed out, "Nyaaaaa~"
"W-w-w-w-wait! Just wait a sec!" Misaki protested. But it was already too late.
There stood Misaki, wearing an exact copy of Neko's outfit. With the addition of kitten ears, paws, and a tail, the little Red clansman stood there wearing the tiny dress that barely covered his bottom. Complete with a pink ribbon and a bell around the neck, the crow turned bright red.
"Kyaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Yata tried desperately to cover his body and pull down the dress, which was obviously exposing way more skin than he had ever wanted.
Strange enough, as the clansmen all stood and stared at the vanguard of HOMRA, they couldn't help but feel that those clothes somehow suited him very well. One word described this situation better than anything else.
"Moe," the crowd said in unison.
"KYAAAA, S-S-S-STOP L-L-LOOKING THIS W-W-WAY! STOP LOOKING AT ME YOU BASTARDS!"
Misaki never had felt so humiliated in his entire life. "OI SARU! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU BAS—"
Yata instantly became speechless as he saw the blue-eyed man before him—or at least he thought it was a man. Saruhiko stood there wearing a beautiful multiple-layered kimono. The outer layer had vibrantly-colored peacocks, which matched Fushimi's eyes and hair perfectly. A green colored sash sat around his waist with the bow sitting in front. His pale, smooth skin was barely hidden by the kimono as the sleeves hung low around his arms. His hair was somehow extended and held up by a series of intricate, golden pins decorated with fancy jewels.
Saruhiko was breathtaking and mesmerizing. The clansmen all stared quietly, unable to throw a single insult or joke at the Scepter 4 officer.
Fushimi clicked his tongue and said, "Tch, shouldn't this be good enough now? Cat Girl, change us back to normal."
"Alright I understand, nya!" The flower petals began to fill the air as she removed the illusion…well at least off of Fushimi.
"OI! WHY AM I STILL DRESSED LIKE THIS?" Yata's clenched his fist hard.
"Oops! Give me a second, nya!" Neko, as mischievous as ever, meowed out again.
But this time, a series of different outfits began to show up on the little crow every ten seconds. From a maid outfit, to a nurse, to even the female version of the Scepter 4 uniform, Yata could only watch in horror as he was subjected to this cruel and unusual punishment.
"S-S-S-STOP SCREWING WITH ME!" Misaki turned and began to charge towards the door. "I'm fucking leaving…ughhh…"
The amber-eyed man began to sway back and forth, feeling the strength leaving his lower extremities. "I…feel…sick…"
After all that moving around and yelling, the after-effects of the alcohol had begun to take its toll, and the crow felt extremely nauseated and weak. He could feel the sweat begin to form all over his face as he slumped over onto the ground.
"Misaki!? MISAKI!"
The last thing Yata could remember was Saruhiko's voice calling out his name.
Note: And with that, Day 1 of the Hot Springs trip has been finished! Look forward to seeing the remaining two days!