Hey, it's Ann. Here's the next chapter of our little tale! Enjoy!
Castle trudged his way up the stairs. What a disaster of a day. All he wanted was a little time with Kate for his birthday, and now he'd be lucky if she even talked to him. He understood her frustration, he was frustrated too. What a mess! Then there was his feelings of guilt over being the cause of her being hurt. He hated when she was in pain, and hated even more that he'd caused it.
He stepped into the guest room to find her still awake. "Did you get him settled?"
"Yeah, the idiot fell on his face trying to put on his pajamas." He ran his hand through his hair, too annoyed to even laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.
Beckett looked at him, and almost felt sorry for him, it was his birthday after all. "Come here, Castle." She scooted over, making room for him in the bed. It wasn't near as big as the bed in his room, so sleeping would be a bit cozier tonight.
He stripped down to his boxers, and slid in next to her. He noticed she was wearing one of his oversized t-shirts over a pair of shorts. She knew he loved seeing her in his clothes, and as they had company, this was as sexy as it was going to get. He lie down next to her, resting his head on her side, curled up to her, pouting like a little boy. She softly ran her fingers soothingly through his hair.
"Rough day, huh?"
"The worst." He mumbled.
"I'm sorry your birthday got so messed up." She bent down and kissed his head, careful not to move too quickly and aggravate her own.
"It's my own fault." He pouted.
"Castle, it was an accident. Stop blaming yourself, and look on the bright side."
"What bright side?"
"We're all ok, no serious injuries."
"Yeah, I guess. But I hurt you, Kate. I never want to hurt you. And I got us stuck with Perlmutter."
She had never seen him so dejected, it broke her heart.
"Castle, look at me." She tipped his face up until his eyes met hers. "I'm fine, it's just a concussion. No long term damage. And Perlmutter is a pain, but it's just a few weeks. It will be ok. I'm not mad, I promise. Now come here and give me a proper kiss before he steals you again."
She laughed as he came up to kiss her, some of the Castle sparkle returning to his eyes.
"I don't deserve you, Kate."
"You're wrong, Castle." He looked at her questioningly. "As maddening, challenging, and frustrating as I can be, you definitely deserve me." This caused them both to laugh.
"I guess you're right, I have been bad enough to warrant a lifetime of dealing with you." He laughed. Then his eyes went wide as her breath hitched, and they both realized what he had just implied. He wanted to be with her forever.
She bit her lip as she debated how to respond, as he sat, holding his breath, waiting to see how much damage he'd done. A small smile came to her lips and the teasing spark returned to her eyes.
"You must have been a pretty bad boy then." She laughed. The only question is, what did I do to deserve that?"
He breathed a sigh of relief, and his heart sung. She really was in this as much as he was.
"I don't know, but whatever it was, I'm glad you did it." He leaned down and kissed her.
"Me too, Castle. Me too." She pulled him back in for another passionate kiss. As the kiss got more heated, and pulses started racing, Kate moaned, and not the good kind.
"Shit, Kate, I'm sorry. Your head." Castle pulled back, looking at her pained expression.
"It's ok, we both got a bit carried away." She gave him another quick peck on the lips. "Let's try to get some sleep, ok?"
"Ok." He smiled at her and gave her one last kiss as he settled into bed, pulling her into his arms. She snuggled back against him, loving the way their bodies fit perfectly together, like they were made for each other. "Goodnight, birthday boy," she whispered to him.
"Goodnight, Kate." He kisses her shoulder as they both faded off to sleep.
Castle startled awake at the noise. What the hell was that? He sat bolt upright, trying to shake the fog from his brain. There was a loud banging sound coming from downstairs. He glanced over to Kate's side of the bed, not seeing her, he figured she must have went down to investigate.
As he moved the covers to crawl out of bed, a movement caught his eye. He blinked trying to focus in the dark. Then he saw her. Kate, huddled in the corner, of the bed, knees tight against her chest, rocking.
"Kate," he whispered."Kate, honey, what's wrong?" He couldn't tell if she was awake or not. Her head was bowed over her knees so he couldn't see her face. He didn't want to startle her, but he didn't know if she heard him over the loud banging. What the hell was that noise? Oh well, it would have to wait. If it was an intruder, maybe he would run away after one brush with Perlmutter.
"Kate," he tried again, a little louder, this time touching her arm. She flinched away from him, letting out a whimper like a small puppy. He had never seen her like this.
The banging downstairs stopped. Finally! It was quiet now, so he tried again. "Kate, it's me, baby. Wake up." He swallowed as he tried touching her again. Her head shot up, eyes wide and full of tears.
"Kate, are you ok?" Castle looked deep into her eyes, seeing she was awake, but her eyes were full of a terror he'd never seen before.
She blinked, and looked at him, breath coming fast and heavy. Her eyes darted around the room, like a trapped animal. He continued whispering her name until her eyes finally landed on his face, his eyes full of concern.
"Kate, talk to me. What's wrong?"
She sat staring at him, blinked a few times and then threw herself into his arms sobbing uncontrollably. He was shocked, she had never allowed him to see her so vulnerable, he wasn't sure what to do, so he just held her. Stroking her back soothingly, while she cried into his chest.
"It's ok, Kate. You're ok. I'm right here," he repeated over and over. Slowly her breathing returned to normal and she tilted her tear stained face to look up at him.
"I'm sorry, Castle," she sniffed as she started to pull away. He held her tighter.
"For what?" His own heart rate was slowly returning to normal. He had been so scared her concussion had done severe damage.
"For waking you up. For freaking out like this," she bowed her head, clearly embarrassed.
"Hey, don't be sorry. I was just worried about you. Are you ok? What happened? Did you have a nightmare?" He continued lovingly stroking her back as he held her.
"I'm not sure. I think I might have been having a nightmare, but then a banging sound woke me up, and all I could see was the explosion, and laying on the cold ground. Then I was back in the cemetery, after..."
"Oh, Kate." He held her tighter. She didn't have to finish that sentence, he knew. The explosion had triggered a relapse of her PTSD, she was reliving her shooting all over again. Dammit! What had he done to her.
"It's ok, you're ok. I promise." He wiped a tear from her face and kissed her forehead.
"I know I am. You're here."
"Do you think you need to see Dr Burke?" He wondered how much of a set back this would be for her.
"I think I'll be ok." He frowned at her. "I promise, if it happens again or the nightmares continue, I'll call him." She kisses his cheek reassuringly.
"You're sure you're ok?"
"I'm fine. It's just the PTSD, I've learned to deal with it. It just snuck up on me this time."
He sat quietly, studying her face. "What is it, Castle?"
"Is this what you went through that whole time? After the shooting, did this happen a lot?"
She sighed and looked at her lap. She had never really talked about her recovery period. It had always been a sore spot between them, after she had shut him out the way she had. She decided to tell him the truth.
"Yeah. It happened almost every night for the first few months, then lessened as time went on and therapy helped." She saw the pain in his eyes and grabbed his hand. "There's nothing you could have done, and at the time I would have been to stubborn to let you anyway. Please," she tipped his face so she could see his eyes. "Don't beat yourself up about the past. You can't change it, you aren't to blame, and you're here now. That's all that matters."
She snuggled into his chest as he stroked her hair. "Thank you, Kate."
"For what?" She looked up at him.
He smiled at her. "For letting me be here now."
She smiled back at him. "Always."
He gave her a soft kiss, as she snuggles into him again, allowing his warmth to comfort her.
"Did you hear banging too, or was that just in my head?" She asked.
"Shit! Perlmutter!" Castle looked at her, eyes wide. She moved off of him and motioned for him to go. He ran off down the stairs to see what all the commotion had been about. He swore to himself that if that if that man had done something stupid that caused her to panic like that, he'd throttle him himself.