Disclaimer: Not mine. Wish they were.
Part I
It was mid-August, and as he strode through the new administrative wing of the redesigned Ministry of Magic, Severus smiled to himself while observing people almost instinctively rush to get out of his way. A great portion of them had attended Hogwarts during his seventeen-year tenure, so it wasn't all that surprising. Still, it had been ten years since he'd "retired". A few of them should have developed a backbone by now. Smirking, Severus turned and flung open the double doors to the amphitheatre that today's certification occupied and openly grinned as they smacked the door stops, causing several other attendees to flinch in response. His grin turned back into his classic smirk when all of the chatter ground to a halt as he swiftly made his way towards the upper gallery. Playing with public perceptions was always entertaining and these particular idiots were more susceptible than most.
Satisfied that his little performance had discouraged anyone from speaking to him, he paused slightly in order to scan a specific section of the gallery. He had a particular seat in mind that he always used. It was located at the very top, in the far left corner in the last row, second in from the wall. Sitting there guaranteed that no one would sit next to him on either side or in the chairs occupying the row just in front of him, effectively giving him the privacy needed to work on his latest crossword puzzle magazine. It only took a moment to confirm that it, along with all the others around it were empty. A few minutes later, Severus was happily situated and working on his puzzles, secure in the fact that no one in their right mind would bother him until it was time to sit the equally mindless exam given at the end of the seminar.
There were certain events that Severus could use to literally mark the steady passage of time: the annual Malfoy Yule Gala, the annual Victory Ball, and his monthly stipend as a recipient of the Order of Merlin. Most of these events he could ignore — they happened with or without his presence or input. Unfortunately, this was one bi-annual event that did require his personal attention as well as his attendance: the Ministry's mandatory Cross-Cultural Magical Beings Tolerance seminar. Each time he received the notice, he made a promise to himself — when his current Ministry of Magic contracts expired, he wouldn't renew them. Then, he could stop wasting his time attending the bi-annual brainwashing attempts.
The problem was, every time he made the decision, yet another of his associates picked up a contract with the Ministry, rendering his own desires moot. You couldn't do business with other entities that held MoM contracts unless you also had current CCMBT certification. If he had to sit through the mindless social retraining love-fest in order to do business in general, he might as well hang onto the increasingly lucrative contracts in recompense. Or so his current mental justifications went. Besides, attending also served as somewhat of a guide of who he actually had to consider speaking with in the course of his own employment.
Shrugging to himself mentally, Severus refocused on the clue for 40 across — Sorrowful plant? Three letters?. . . R U E — only to be disrupted. How bloody appropriate.
"Oh, good! You are here, just like Harry said you would be. Pretend I'm not. I'm just going to take that inside seat, excuse me by the way, and I won't speak another bloody word to you."
Severus looked up in consternation as Hermione Granger suited action to words and occupied the seat, promptly ignoring him as she pulled out a copy of what appeared to be some type of word search magazine along with a fountain pen. She took a quick moment to charm the cover to match the approved CCMBT workbook that he hadn't bothered with since the first seminar, before starting one of the puzzles. When several minutes went by in silence, he nodded to himself and went back to his own entertainment. Severus was still reasonably certain that no one would brave dealing with him in order to reach her. Which seemed to be rather the point? Which moved Granger from the category of minor annoyance to mildly interesting.
Fortunately for all involved, his estimates held. Plenty of people looked up in their direction, but that was the extent of it. The nearest foolhardy or brave soul in the room, depending on your outlook, sat two rows below at the opposite end of the gallery. All the remaining seats from that point forward were occupied.
Eventually, the appointed Ministry drone minced her way up to the podium to start her lecture. She was a squat older witch with absolutely no fashion sense whatsoever. Her high-pitched, falsely cheerful voice grated on Severus' last nerve.
"Good lord, where did they find her? All she needs is an Alice band and a pink cardi," he heard Granger mutter under her breath before she turned her attention back to her magazine.
He casually glanced over at Granger and his estimation of her went up another notch. Little Miss Granger was apparently all grown up now and not quite as quick to blindly respect authority, which wasn't surprising in the least, considering the fact that Dumbledore had handily put paid to that paradigm. Still, he had seen her a few times after the end of the war as she physically recovered from the damage of her year spent on the run. She hadn't been all that much to look at back then, but neither had most of her peers who'd managed to survive. He surreptitiously took another glance at her neat profile. She was definitely something to look at now.
"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic's Cross-Cultural Magical Beings Tolerance Seminar," the Umbridge lookalike announced flamboyantly, interrupting his current train of thought. "For most of you, this is a refresher, but for those that are new, the Cross-Cultural Magical Beings Tolerance training is —"
"Too much of a mouthful to swallow and you'd think that after ten years, someone could have found a name that makes a decent acronym," Granger groused before flipping a page in her magazine to start a new puzzle.
It was against his better judgement, but he really couldn't let that comment pass. "You honestly think that the Ministry, the same organization that helped produce three Dark Lords in two consecutive generations with its hypocritical policies, is capable of administering a program that will actually promote positive change, let alone naming it?" he muttered back as he leaned forward to stretch a kink in his back.
"Three?" she whispered back.
He snorted in response. "Please tell me that you don't actually want to argue the fact that Dumbledore —"
"Oh, no, you'll get no argument from me. It's just that I'd relegated him to the "failed Dark Lord" column, which leaves him a rather dull shade of grey in practice," she replied primly and returned her attention back to her magazine.
He waited for her to continue, but she really was keeping to her word and staying quiet. Mostly. He selectively blocked out the voice of the presenter and returned to his observation of the young woman sitting next to him. She wasn't what most would consider beautiful, however, he found her appealing all the same. Her figure was womanly, but not too lush. Her face was pretty, but it was her personality that gave it extra life and character. And the memorable mane of hair was currently tamed into a modern French Twist that showed off a lovely expanse of neck.
"The Mythology of Stereotypes. Really? Does that woman even understand how they come about?" she huffed quietly.
He blinked in consternation. They were more than halfway done with the lecture portion of the program, and he'd managed to ignore most of it, along with his beloved crossword puzzles, in favour of checking out Granger. Extraordinary. Looking at her again, he had to admire the delicate study of contradictions she portrayed. Her Muggle suit was understated, but tailored to showcase her lovely silhouette. The skirt was business length, but rode up when she crossed her legs to show off a nice bit of knee. One would think she wore the stylish over-robe as an afterthought, but he knew better. The pen that she idly tapped against her lips in concentration was a. . .
"Granger."
"Hmm?"
"Is that a Conway Stewart Duro Silver?"
She pulled back and looked at the sparkling red and sterling silver fountain pen fondly. "Yes, it is. I treated myself to it when I sold my first patent. What I really wanted was the Limited Cromwell, but I couldn't justify the expense." With a sad smile, she returned to her puzzles as if he didn't exist. Just in time for the lecturer to announce the short break before the exam that they were required to take in order to leave this small bit of Hell on earth.
He stood and stretched before turning his attention back to the human puzzle that sat before him.
"Granger."
"Yes?"
"You use a pen that cost more than six hundred quid to do word search puzzles?"
"Yes," she bit off as he continued to stare at her with his arms crossed, waiting for her to continue. She finally placed the cap on the pen in question and carefully attached it to the cover of her magazine before crossing her arms with a sigh. "What do you want? I'd have thought a silent version of me would have pleased you."
"It might have in the past, but as you've chosen to use me as a barrier to the masses, I believe I'm entitled to a little more of you than that," he replied easily, leaning past his chair to rest a shoulder against the wall directly behind it.
"I'm sure I don't know what gave you that impression. You're barely a passing acquaintance as far as I'm concerned, even if I did choose to use you as a shield from the rest of the idiots in attendance."
"A passing acquaintance? You must be joking. After six years of dealing with you as a student —"
"You know nothing about me that isn't public record, and the same can be said for me where you are concerned," she snapped as she stood and gingerly stretched and paced up and down the row a bit to work out her stiffness before retaking her seat. She continued to ignore him while putting away her magazine and wrapping the pen in its leather case in preparation for the quill and exam booklets they would be issued when the break was over.
"Is there a reason that you've continued to stare at me, Mr Snape?"
He pushed himself upright and settled into his own chair before answering. "Yes. I find this version of you rather intriguing." Leaning closer, he smiled. "When we're done with this nonsense of test taking, I'll continue to play human shield and get you out of here if you would be so kind as to join me for lunch."
"Why would I want to do that?" she replied with a smile of her own.
"You could help redeem my rather lamentable reputation."
"I no longer tilt at windmills or champion lost causes," Granger stated flatly.
"Then let's call it a working lunch. You are currently working on a problem that involves me."
"I don't see how," she retorted.
"You are the Arithmancer of choice for the Coulson project, and I am the Dark Arts, Potions specialist and Spellcraftre for the same," he stated smugly as he watched her look of incredulity turn to wariness.
"Well, I suppose that moves you up from passing acquaintance to almost colleague on my personal friendship scale."
Severus chuckled. "That isn't much of an accomplishment, as I was nothing to you before."
"That's not true," she responded. "At Hogwarts, we had an association by way of proximity, with you in a position of power, leaving me at a disadvantage. Now, I could almost call you a colleague, which is a step above the casual acquaintance in my books. Although, seeing as our break is over and I have questions for you, it's more like hated colleague at the moment."
"I will happily satisfy your curiosity when you accompany me to lunch afterward," he said, smirking with satisfaction.
"You don't have to be so smug about it," she muttered under her breath as one of the proctors arrived to issue the Anti-cheating quills along with the exam booklets.
Oh, yes I do, he thought to himself as he took his supplies from the short man in front of him.
oOO0OOo
It took him exactly twenty minutes to complete the multiple choice questions in the twenty page booklet. He looked up from it and noticed that Granger had finished hers as well, which didn't surprise him — the test hadn't changed in ten years, not even the order of the questions. Nodding toward the front, he stood and made his way to the proctor at the opposite end of their row to turn in his exam, knowing that she would follow him without further discussion. There were two or three others that had finished and were also making their way to the exit. None of them seemed interested in doing more than clearing out themselves, which made things easier for the both of them. At least until they'd made it to the main hallway and started towards the Diagon Alley exit.
They were accosted by a reasonably attractive young man who bravely ignored Severus' presence.
"Miss Granger, did you get the owl I sent you yesterday? I know you've been busy, but I really would like to —"
"Bollinger," she snapped, cutting him off. "I'm sure you've noticed that I'm with Master Snape at the moment." Severus nodded silently to add weight to the statement while taking note of her suddenly frosty demeanour. "We have business to conduct and his time is rather limited. As for your invitation, the answer is still no — which is the same as you received with the morning post."
Severus watched as Bollinger woodenly stepped aside and allowed them to pass. He noticed the way she calmly acknowledged a few greetings that were directed her way while rolling her shoulders in annoyance as she ignored others. Also of interest was the fact that men consistently fell into the latter category.
"I don't know the history between the two of you, but I don't think Bollinger will be contacting you any time in the near future," he remarked as he stepped forward and held the door that led to the outside.
"Thank you. Don't feel sorry for him. He only wants to be seen with me in order to raise his standing within his department. He's not interested in me at all. I went out with him once and he spent the entire date showing me off to his fellows like I was a prize poodle or some such," she huffed as she went through the door.
"You'll want to head down the Alley past Ollivander's," he instructed. "We'll have lunch at the Spellcraftres' Guild, as we do need a bit of privacy for our discussion."
"Right. I was about to beg off. I'm really not in the mood to deal with all of the opportunists that think now is the perfect time to make a move on me, since it's now quite obvious that I'm available."
"And you don't think I'm attempting the same?" he asked.
"Even if you currently are — this is more of a quid pro quo situation. I sought you out to my benefit and now, I am spending the time you've requested in exchange."
"I'm not at all certain I like all of the changes in your personality," he responded seriously. "You sound like members of my old House."
Granger snorted in response. "By now you should have realised that Slytherin doesn't have a corner on the market when it comes to cold practicality."
oOO0OOo
They continued to walk in silence. Severus didn't attempt to start up the conversation again until they'd reached their destination and their order had been served.
"You know, I was rather impressed with the way you and your compatriots outmanoeuvred the press and Molly Weasley the other day. Word has it that Creevey received a rather generous bonus along with an extended leave for his exclusive."
"Word is true. The Prophet wanted the exclusive, but that meant Dennis would have to lay low for a while to prevent his fellow journalists from killing him since he's an independent. Ron came up with the strategy, I just handled logistics while Harry handled the spin and retreat." She shrugged as she took a bite of her grilled salmon. "Mmm, this is lovely. Thank you for inviting me here."
"You can repay me by satisfying my curiosity. Just what exactly is your friendship scale and why does it exist?"
She gave him a curious look before responding. "See that man over there?"
"Everley?"
"Yes. I dated him for a bit after Ron and I broke up the first time. He was very attentive and pretended that he actually wanted to get to know me instead of believing all of the media tripe."
Severus raised a questioning eyebrow in response.
"It took me a bit, but I came to realise that all he wanted was to be the one that recruited me to the Spellcraftres, along with a bit of slap and tickle on the side. When he understood that I wouldn't leave the Arithmancers, he didn't have the time of day for me."
"Not to make an excuse for the man, but he's a Guild recruiter and that is one of their known tactics," he interjected.
"Oh, I know that now, but nine years ago, it hurt. Then, there were all of the self-important slime that just wanted to bed me — another notch on the post, as it were. At first, it was a bit flattering —some of them were celebrities themselves and no one had ever accused me of being desirable before. Then, Rita and her ilk started after me. Ron and Harry could sleep with the world and not a thing was said, but I was a glory-seeking, man-eating slag. A rather vicious double-standard, yes? But I won't bore you with that."
I'm not finding this conversation boring in the least, he mused, nodding thoughtfully.
"After that I was deep into my studies and starting my career. I no longer had the desire for anything that involved more than a date here and there. After dealing with so many people who wanted to make use of me, it became habitual — I started categorising the types of folk who wanted to be "friends" and developed my personal friendship scale. I won't let people abuse my goodwill anymore. Harry and Ron are my best friends, but when we were growing up, I allowed them to abuse our friendship in ways that they wouldn't dare try now."
He leaned forward — here was the crux of the matter. "Why?"
She gave him a hard look. "You should be able to answer that one from personal experience, Snape."
"The point goes to you, Granger. Go on, tell me about the scale."
She sighed. "There are the Passing Acquaintances — the ones that you know from school, work and other activities. You know their faces and occasionally their names, but nothing that really matters. These types tend to be name-droppers and social climbers — they have no right to claim many of the supposed friendships in their circles."
He didn't disagree. "Continue."
"Then we have the actual Acquaintances who are colleagues and associates from daily interactions. We actually know a bit about one another — their lives, that they are intelligent or not, a few of their likes and dislikes. We have a shallow knowledge of who they are and the same can be said of them. We don't travel in the same circles often and we don't go out of our way to do one another favours."
"If that is the case, I should have rated Acquaintance from the start," he stated indignantly.
"Oh, no. You were a special case. You never let us into your head — we only knew what you wanted the whole world to see. Even in the end, what you gave Harry was a calculated risk, and you gave that bit of yourself to him, not me." She looked at him, daring him to refute her.
Instead he asked, "So, what comes after Acquaintance?
"Associate and Colleague. You interact with these people more intimately and actually get to know them a bit on a deeper level. A few of their dreams and fears. What makes them laugh. You allow them to use you on occasion and you do the same to them, but it's socially acceptable. You actually socialise with these types for the pleasure of it. You may or may not forgive this type a trespass."
"So, now I almost rate amongst these rare types," he mused.
"Almost. You have a way to go yet," she said, giving him a look he couldn't read. "Then we have the Casual Friend. We support one another, we know so much about each other, but we don't know the deepest desires, fears or dreams. They aren't the ones we go to for the most important things, but we share more of ourselves with them than most people. You are more willing to forgive their mistakes, but that won't stop you from cutting them off."
"You trust them, but only to a certain point," he stated.
"Yes, exactly. And that is the level where most of my friendships exist," she said, answering before he could ask.
"So, where does that leave Potter and Weasley? You have trusted them with your life and then some."
"They are True Friends and yes, that sounds sentimental, but there is truth to it. No matter what happens, we are still there for one another. I love them and they love me. We trust as implicitly as it is possible to do so. We know each other as well as we know ourselves." She looked at him for a moment more before pushing her empty plate aside and starting on her custard in silence.
Severus drank his glass of Firewhisky and contemplated the information the woman seated across from him had shared. She obviously valued his grudging assistance highly, because she'd given him a very intimate look into her psyche. Still, her explanation seemed incomplete — it didn't explain the situation with Weasley. Sitting his glass down, he leaned forward.
"Would you care to tell me about your relationship with Weasley? You two have been on and off again for almost ten years. Even I was surprised that you didn't finally end up together."
She laughed. "Ron and I haven't been a couple since the second time we split eight years ago."
"And yet you two were perceived as such by almost everyone," he countered.
"Well almost everyone's perception was wrong. We had an open-ended, friends-with-benefits agreement."
He opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. Taking a calming breath, he tried again. "What did you just say?"
"Oh, please! There is nothing wrong with your hearing," she snapped. "Good lord, I hope you're not another judgmental prude."
"Hardly," he replied, with recovered equanimity. "I prefer no-strings-attached alliances. So, exactly how did your arrangement work?"
She gave him a saucy grin. "All these questions, Mr Snape. Are you interested in giving me a go?"
Yes, he thought. However, Severus treated her to a blank stare and waited.
Her smile dimmed a bit, but she continued. "We lived separately, dated whomever we wanted and played escort to one another for public and family functions, but we only ever slept with each other. It kept things simple."
"And it kept you, in particular, from being exploited or hurt," he stated as he watched her bristle in response to his summation.
"It wasn't just about me. Even Ron finally got tired of the gold diggers and bogus paternity suits, so the situation was mutually beneficial. Now, did you invite me here to dissect my life or are we actually going to discuss the project?" she asked as the waiter returned to clear the table and set out the ever-refilling pot of coffee along with two cups and an assortment of biscuits and pastries.
"I believe I've succeeded in discomfiting you enough in recompense for my services." He wandlessly cast a privacy ward before continuing. "So, tell me, which additional parameters will you need to tighten up the estimate on the spell sequence I sent over?" he asked.
The next hour flew by as they easily traded information and became even more familiar with one another's thought processes.
Severus was actually a bit dismayed when he realised that he would have to end their discussion, but he did have other obligations to tend to. "I'd like to send you my revised sequence in the next day or so. Will it need to go via the clearing house or can I send it direct?"
"Send it direct — I'll authorise it when I get back to the office," she replied as she gathered her things in preparation to leave. Looking at him, she tilted her head at an angle and chuckled. "You know, I really had a decent time this afternoon. I hadn't expected to. I'm looking forward to working with you directly."
He looked up from the bill he was signing and nodded. "I've found the time enjoyable as well. Just wait a moment and I will escort you to an Apparition point." Looking back at the parchment, he finished signing with a flourish before tapping it with his wand to send it to the Guild business office. Placing a gratuity on the table, he stood and escorted Granger out of the club.
As they exited, Granger motioned him nearer. "I don't mean to be difficult, but I'd rather head over to the Arithmancers' and Floo from there — it's just a few doors down and the members know better than to bother me."
"I don't find you difficult. Your request makes my job easier. Lead on."
Granger nodded and led him to a building that reminded him of a Victorian-styled Exchequer's establishment. She spoke with the doorman before handing Severus a stylised coin. "This is a guest-chit. It's good until I tell them otherwise. It will only work for you. Come on through — you can use the Floo here if you'd like."
They walked through a warm, wood-panelled entryway and turned down the first corridor on the right where three active Floo stations were located. They paused beside the nearest one.
Severus stepped into Granger's personal space, leaning over her with one hand propping him up against the wall. "I know I didn't answer you earlier, but I do find both you and your philosophy very attractive," he murmured.
She looked back at him with a wistful expression and sighed. "That pleases me more than you know, but there's one small problem. I will only ever sleep with a real friend. I think you, of all people, would understand why."
He did — for her, it was all about trust, and that was something that she no longer gave lightly. It was something that he hardly ever gave at all. He placed his other hand on the wall and leaned in further. "Well, I managed to go from nothing to almost colleague in one afternoon."
She smiled a bit in response. "I'm thinking that you've managed to firmly advance to colleague at this point."
"Colleague won't get me very far, according to your rules," he whispered.
"But it is a fair start," she answered with a grin as she ducked under his arm and tossed a handful of powder into the Floo. Giving him a happy shrug, she called out her destination and whirled off to wherever.
Shaking his head, Severus pushed off the wall and reached into his cloak for his powder supply. It wasn't all that unusual for him to find himself sexually attracted to a female he'd only spent a limited amount of time with. Normally, he wouldn't put much effort into what would amount to nothing more than a pleasurable dalliance, but Granger was truly interesting as an adult. He had written off the idea of friendships in the past, but currently, pursuing one with her seemed worth the effort. With a casual flick of his wrist, he tossed the powder down and headed to his office to work on the sequence they'd discussed. The sooner she had it in hand, the sooner he would have an excuse to meet with her again.
A/N:
This story was written as a gift for absolute_tash, in response to her 2012 SSHG Gift Exchange prompt:
An adult Hermione and Snape have a "friend-with-benefits" situation. They sleep together, enjoy each other's company, but they are not a couple. And then Hermione meets someone else. What's Snape's reaction? Does he honestly wish her well and walk her down the aisle? Does he lick his wounded pride and become distant with her? Does he resort to nefarious means to be rid of her other paramour? Is he hurt, jealous, relieved? Show me WHY they have this arrangement, instead of a couple's situation. And show me how it resolves. No fluff, please. Mature, adult handling of an atypical situation.
This story is atypical for this genre and pairing. I've taken into account the reality of both Severus and Hermione's backgrounds and applied them to Tash's Gift request in a realistic manner, in accordance to her reading preferences. If you are not the type of reader that is interested in reality or you only enjoy reading HEA's for this pairing, no matter how contrived or implausible, this story is not for you. If you are looking for a PWP to make up for the lack of a typical HEA, you won't find that either.
If you do enjoy the occasional dose of reality or are just plain curious, I invite you to continue. This story is complete in four parts.