Book Two: Realization

Realization- n. The act of comprehending completely or correctly.

Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
My alarm clock was soon silenced by me throwing it across the room. I looked over my shoulder and realized I had accidentally broken the thing. Darn it! Mother would have a cow with me. She already spent hours fussing over how much money it cost. It's like she didn't even hear me say 'thank you.' That taught me a lesson for sure. I'd never say thank you again! What difference would it make if they don't even think you're thankful?

Sliding the deceased alarm clock between my mattress and the box spring, I looked out the window. Judging on where the moon was, it was probably somewhere between 3 and 4 AM. Fox Sensei wasn't kidding when she said she was going to punish us. She gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "cruel and unusual punishment." How many weeks had it been now since she demanded that we train so hard? I wasn't even sure anymore. Work was work. It didn't matter to me. I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and combed my hair, all the while careful not to wake my parents. Who knows how they'd react this early in the morning? I certainly didn't want to find out.

I leaned over to grab my things when my stomach growled. I guess I could eat a little something. Not too much though. All of the exercise we'd been doing might end up making me vomit it all out.

I sneakily walked into the kitchen. I knew better than to look in the pantry. Nothing there. I opened the fridge, hopeful. All that was there was some aging milk. Maybe on top of the fridge? I stood on my tiptoes and a…PEACH!

Hey, it's something, right?

I pulled out the fruit and sat down at the nearest chair. It squeaked loudly as I sat into it. It was some old, hand-me-down chair you find at those poor people stores. It looked like it was stolen from some bar or something.

Regardless, it was (semi) sturdy, and provided you with a good sit, and that was all I needed for the moment.

After I was seated, the annoying squeaking stopped, and all that could be heard was the grating noise coming from our air conditioner. Mother always yelled at Father to fix it so that it wouldn't keep her up at night. I, surprisingly, found the noise calming. It must've been because I was used to it.

I pressed my thumbs into the peach, feeling the soft fruit squish underneath them. I slowly took a bite into it. Ah, such sweet juices a peach has. So warm and yet, cold and refreshing at the same time. It reminded me of when I was younger, much younger.

Mother and Father took me to a field filled with peach trees. They were so tall and mighty, just like my parents. My father plucked one from those gargantuan branches and squatted down to my level.

"Here, Isamashii. Try it!"

He placed the strange fruit in my tiny hands.

"Ew! It's got hair on it! I don't want to eat it if it's got hair on it!"

My mother giggled at my ignorance. "Isa, it's a special fruit. It's meant to be this way! It's delicious, you'll see."
Reluctantly, I bit into the fruit.

"OI! I' IZH GUUD!" I said with my mouth full. My parents smiled warmly at me.
But that was a long time ago.

I took another bite, trying not to spill any of it on me. Why should I even go to practice today, anyway? I practice 10 times more than those other two. Besides, they haven't looked at me the same since that last confrontation we had.

They hate me too.

I set the peach on the table.

I shouldn't go. I should go to Sunagakure today. It's been awhile since my last visit to Uncle Gaara and Uncle Kankuro.

They must be wondering how their nephew's life is going, right? Yeah, I'll just go there and say "Oh yeah, we're just doing the same as usual"

And then Uncle Kankuro would suggest, "Isamashii, you poor boy. You must stay here in Sunagakure."

"I'd hate to intrude." I would say so courteously.

"Not at all," Uncle Gaara would say. "You're family. We must watch out for you. That's what a family does."

I don't like it when my fantasies upset me more than reality. Sure my uncles cared about me, but I couldn't leave here. Not for good. Maybe my father wouldn't care, but I'd break my mother's heart. She gets enough of that already.

No, I guess I better not leave. If I skipped out on practice, those two dim wads would get into even more trouble.

Heh, and here I thought I'd enjoy seeing them get yelled at by Sensei. But something about it didn't register well inside me. Then again, it could just be the peach talking. Nah, I'll go. Those idiots would miss me too much.

"Err…just shut up, would you?!"

I froze like a deer in headlights.

"FINE! I'LL TURN OFF THE DANG THING! IF YOU WANNA DIE OF HEAT, THAT'S FINE BY ME!"

Crap! They were fighting again? Well, that didn't surprise me really, because they always fought. But I guess I hadn't realized they fought this early as well! Then again, I hadn't exactly been present in the mornings the past couple of weeks.

I heard the sound of groggy footsteps and the figure bumped into some walls along the hallway. It was headed…RIGHT IN MY DIRECTION!

I slipped from the chair and ran to the farthest wall of the kitchen. I was right next to a window. If I were lucky, the light from the moon would glow too strong in the frame of the window that around the pane (including me) would be too dark to see. I could only hope as much.

It was Father, fumbling around in the kitchen. He stubbed his toe on the air conditioner box. He shouted a profanity, and I winced as if it were directed at me. He groped at the metal box, turning dials and clicking buttons. He got angry and smacked the thing. It whirred in defeat and the buzzing sound died. Whoa, he actually turned it off. He picked himself up and patted his hands on his robe. He was just starting to head out of the kitchen when he stopped.

I cowered to the floor. Did he really see me? Would he be angry with me for being up so early?

"Hm," he said with a lighter tone to his voice, as he picked up the peach and carried it off to his bedroom. I would've laughed if it weren't for the fact that I'd been scared crapless.

I panted hard as I lay flat on the ground. There lie Destry and Ando too. We were all exhausted. Today was extremely hard. Sweat dripped into my eyes and they burned intensely, so I closed them and just lay there, still as a stone on a hill. My eyebrow twitched as a shadow passed over me. I opened my eyes to find Fox Sensei standing over us. Unlike her normal aggravated face that we had grown oh-so familiar with these past weeks, she wore a warm smile, her eyes half lidded.

"You guys have worked hard enough today. Go on home."

Flabbergasted as we were, we still managed to utter the words "thank you." Even I did. I didn't even realize I had said it until the last syllable passed my lips.

Sensei just shrugged, smiled again, and walked away.

"Thank heavens!" Destry joked, spreading her arms out. "But I gotta admit, these intense training sessions have done well for me. I've even got better at my ninjutsu!"

I wanted to make a comment, but my newly appointed better judgment decided against it.
Ando was the first to get up, as if he were trying to prove something. He dusted off the back of his black shirt and lowered his hand out to Destry. She took it and he pulled her up off the ground. I snorted and turned my head the other way. Why couldn't they just admit they totally loved each other already? I mean, even I knew that!

I was a little startled when a hand reached out to me. I only glanced over with my eyes, not even turning my head, pretending that I didn't even care. This time Ando leaned over to me.

"Ya need help up?"

"Ha!" I looked the other way again, pretending I was just so cool. "Me? Need help?"

I shifted a little.

"I can get up perfectly fine on my own, thanks."

A sharp pain in my side told me otherwise. I winced as my whole left side started to cramp up. I looked around, coyly.

"Well, if you're offering…"

I grabbed his hand and he helped me up. Destry giggled at my whole "cool" act. She totally didn't buy it. I grunted and threw my hands in my pockets, turning my head the other way yet again.

Ando laughed a little this time too.

"You know, it's okay to need help every once in awhile. It doesn't make you weak. It makes you human," Then he began mimicking Fox sensei's voice. "Even the Omnipotent Isamashii could understand that!"
The two burst out laughing. I had to admit; even I smiled a little bit.

"Oh my gosh!" Destry exclaimed, in mock-shock. "Is that a smile on Isamashii's face?"
My automatic reaction was to frown and deny, which of course I did.

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Oh c'mon! It's not that bad! Have you ever heard that saying about how it takes less muscles to smile than to frown?"

I don't know what came over me, but for some reason, I went along with it. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well, you know me," I said. Then I raised my arms and flexed like those freakish guys you see on television that have used so many steroids they look like elephant-men and deepened my voice, "I'm all about de mus-kulz!"
They laughed again, but this time I joined them. This was so weird. I'd never had this long of a conversation with them without picking a fight. The weirdest part of it all was that I was enjoying myself. I guess I'd just been exposed to belligerent behavior so much, that I thought that was the only way you could have conversations. I always assumed fighting was inevitable. Yet, whaddya know? Here I was, having "fun" without arguing.

"Whoo," Destry sighed, wiping a tear from her eye. "Well, I guess we'd better be getting home. OH HEY! Isamashii,

I'm having this thing at my house, a huge dinner for all our friends. My mom made tons of really good food. Ando, Koinu, Sakai, and my brothers and sis'll be there!"

"What about Shakino?" I asked, embarrassingly.

"I wanted her to come, but she has to fill out some paperwork from her last mission," Destry mumbled, saddened at the idea that one of her best friends couldn't go to something that seemed so important to her. "But I was wondering, maybe you'd wanna come too?"

I blinked. Me? Invited to such an "important" event? I may have been the "cool guy on the block," but I didn't get invited to things.

"I…uh…"

"You should go! It'll be fun," Ando chimed. He grabbed my arm and raised it in the air, "Besides, you could use some sun!"

I jerked my arm away. Then I crossed my arms and pouted my lip, "I'm just light skinned, that's all."

They laughed again.

"So, you wanna come?" Destry offered again.

"Mm…nah. Not this time. Maybe next time," I said nonchalantly. What? Hey, I may have been enjoying myself, and sure the idea sounded cool, but I was still "the tough guy." I had to wean myself off that hardcore stuff, not just give it up all at once!

Destry shrugged. "If you saaayyyy soooo…But if you change your mind…"

"I know where to find you, yeah." I finished.
They picked up their jackets and ran off.

Crap.

What the heck was I supposed to do now? There was no WAY I was going home this early. I can only take so much of my parents fighting for so long. I sighed and walked to the inner streets of Konoha.

I sighed as I watched the horizon. I liked sitting at this ledge. Not a lot of people came up here, which surprised me. You could see the entire village from this spot, and if you came at just the right time, the sun shone right through the leaves of the trees. It was nice.
I came up here a lot. I came here to think, or to not think. Its main purpose was to get me out of the house. Why did my parents have to fight so much? They saidthey loved each other. I used to think they completely hated each other, until one time I saw my mother crying at the window.

"Mother?" I asked delicately. Like I said, I wasn't one to get into others' businesses, but I felt it was my duty as a son to ask.

Her gaze was drawn away from the window and she rubbed her nose. "Wha-what is it?"

"I was going to ask you that…"

"Oh," she started. "Nothing really…"

I knew better. My silence apparently told her that. She sighed and looked out the window. "It's same old, same old. We got into a fight again."

Duh.

"Why…" I swallowed, "do you…guys hate each other…so much?" I couldn't believe I asked that. We didn't talk about our feelings. We didn't share things. We didn't ask questions.

She looked at me with wide eyes. I guess she was thinking the same thing I was. Turning away, once again, she whispered, "I don't hate your dad."

"Then why do you fight so much?"

"People argue."

"Then why…" I knew by asking this next question, I'd be swimming in troubled waters, but I had to ask it, "why do you love him? What makes you love him?"

She smiled, "The same reason you do."

That didn't answer anything. I didn't know why I loved him. He hadn't done anything for me. Why did I love him? I had no reason to love him. I just did.

"…Does…father hate you?"

She blinked and a tear slid down her cheek. She quickly rubbed it away and her voice became edgy, "Stop asking me so many questions! If you wanna know so bad, why don't you ask HIM?"

That's when I stopped talking to her.

The breeze felt good against my face. I closed my eyes and exhaled.

"What are you doing out here?"

I was so shocked that I bit my tongue. Wincing from the pain, I turned. I saw the warm smile of a kind, caring man. The man I hated.

"You know, Destry's having a party. You should go to it. You might enjoy yourself," Lord Hokage added.

"Hmph," I huffed. "What are you doing here?"

"It's my job. I have to look over the village."

"I mean what are you doing here now.Shouldn't you be with your family or something?"

"But I am," he said, plopping on the ground next to me. "I consider you a part of my family. Just as I do with all of the citizens of this village."

"Ooh, sentimentality." I growled, pulling my knees to my face and leaning on them. "You should write greeting cards. You'd make big bucks."

"Schmaltzy as it may be, I mean it," he laughed. He had one of those deep, hearty laughs. The laugh a man of supremacy would have. The laugh a dad would have. A moment of silence followed, as we both gazed at the scenery.

"Your dad loves you, Isamashii."
I stopped breathing for a second. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead, I just turned to him. He knew what I was trying to ask.

"He loves you. He doesn't say anything to you, and he doesn't pay much attention to you, but don't confuse that with hatred." The hokage said.

"How…?" I uttered. How did he know what I was thinking?

"I've known your father ever since I can remember. And I'll tell ya one thing," the fair-haired hokage closed his eyes and grinned his trademark grin, "he's an idiot! Sure, sure, he may seem smart sometimes, but he's not always so wise. No matter how many times he's learned, he always makes the same mistake."

"W-what is that?" I asked, astonished.

"He always pushes away the people he loves most."

What did he mean? H-how would he know that? How would he know about my situation at all?

"You have such cold eyes, Isamashii. It hurts me when I see eyes like that. I've seen it too many times. You must learn. No matter how awful the darkness is, you are never alone. There are plenty others out there, just like you."
Was he psychic too? Could he read minds or something?

"That's why I held you back for so long. You only thought about yourself. I hope now you realize why I needed you to grasp the concept of having comrades. Even when you seem so unaided, there will always be someone there for you. You just have to find them. God gave us all a purpose in life. We were all meant to face challenges. This just happens to be yours. Things will get better," he took one more fleeting look at the view before smiling at me again,

"I promise you."

My jaw couldn't stop from dropping. He was…right. I had plenty of people who were there for me. My friends, family, people who've always been there, but I was too busy shutting them out that I hadn't even noticed. My eyes had been opened.

I hurriedly jumped up. "I've gotta go! There's someone I have to talk to!"

Lord Hokage struggled to pick himself up. He straightened himself, and I realized how tall he was compared to me. Here I was, some short, loud mouthed, jerk of a boy, and the most powerful man in all our country had taken time out of his day to talk to me.

"Lord Hokage," I said before leaving.

"Hm?" he hummed curiously.

I nodded, "You are much wiser than I had presumed."

He scratched the back of his head embarrassingly, "Yeah, heh, I guess you're right."

With that I leaped across the treetops. I needed to talk to this person fast, and I knew exactly where to find her.