**I apologize ahead of time for what your about to read but bear with me as we all go through this very tough time with Olivia. I promise my fic doesn't stay all depressing and heart breaking, it does become lighter and happier as the chapters go on and because I neglected to include Nick's recent discovery of his son in the beginning, I'm now including that part in light of what happens on Wednesday's episode :D

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Two weeks had passed since the harrowing events in Connecticut. Olivia's coworkers sympathized with her and offered their support. Nick has been more attentive to Olivia than ever before and she's been showing some signs of trying to put it behind her and focus on her job. Her lawyer had called a few days afterwards with news of their court date in January; Olivia also received her copy of the letter in the mail. It's been business as usual at the precinct with new cases reported almost daily not really giving the detectives much of a break. When Nick looked at his phone and saw it was Maria calling, he was in between getting up and taking the call in private so he decided to stay and take the call at his desk.

"Maria that's wonderful news, why didn't you say anything last week?" Some of the eyes in the squad room were on Nick trying not to pay any mind to his conversation even though he was trying his best to be discreet. "I'm happy for you." He said on learning the news they had caught all her cancer and she was now in remission. "I'm going to take the Amtrak down Friday and I'll pick her up from school." From his expression you could tell he was not in agreement with what she was saying on the other end. "She gets out of school at 3:30 how would that make me late in picking her up?" Nick was becoming exasperated by more of his facial contortions that didn't go unnoticed by the others. "Ok you know what Maria, my travel plans are final, if I can't be there to pick her up from school I'll let you know but I don't anticipate a problem." His call ended with her and Nick felt as if he had just had a root canal.

"I'm sorry I wasn't eavesdropping but that is great news Nick." Olivia said nodding with a smile.

"Yeah it's been a rough ride for her." he said looking at his phone's screen, then putting it away. He watched her get up with a binder in her hand, Fin watched her too and followed.

"Hey Liv, we haven't had much time to talk lately but I wanted you to know that I'm here for you for whatever." She tweaked a smile at him depositing her dollar into the soda machine selecting a bottle of water.

"Thanks Fin I appreciate that." She gave his arm a friendly pat.

"It probably was better Cragen went with Nick because they would have had to lock me up for murder." Olivia looked at him wanting to say something but decided against it. Silence fell upon them both feeling somewhat awkward.

"So?" She furrowed her brows as she twisted the cap off.

"So…what?" she said taking a drink.

"Your baby, have you found out what you're having?"

"No not yet, next week is my check up so hopefully I'll have news then. Sorry Fin I've got to get downstairs to evidence control."

"Yeah ok." He nodded watching her go…When she returned Fin and Amanda had gone out on a call. Nick was putting on his coat when he saw her coming.

"What's up?" she asked coming up to him. He hesitated in saying something.

"Is it a call?" He looked at her feeling reserved. "Nick whatever it is I can handle it." He nodded with hesitation.

"A baby, six months old, there's evidence of sodomy, and sexual trauma." Olivia turned her head away, the look of disgust on her face was clear. She threw down the brown folder on her desk shaking her head. Nick finished putting on his jacket, continued to look at her before turning away and heading out.

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On his way back to the precinct he called Cynthia. "Thanks I appreciate you letting me take him tomorrow night."

"His bedtime is 9:00 and it usually takes him a while to settle down after we've been out on a school night."

"No problem I'll have him home no later than 8:00 and Cynthia how long do you plan on keeping the truth from him?"

"Nick don't push me, I told you he's not ready to know that right now." Cynthia could hear the disagreement in his voice. "We'll see you Thursday ok?"

"Yeah Thursday." He had a deadpan look on his face as Olivia looked up when he walked in.

"Please tell me that you all caught the prick that did this?" Rollins and Tutuola were still out on a call and Captain Cragen was in his office with the blinds drawn in a meeting.

"It's nothing to do with the case. Cynthia is letting me see Gil Thursday but she still won't tell him I'm his father." Olivia understood Cynthia's point and was happy that she had a change of heart and wanted her son to get to know Nick.

"Nick just give her some time she'll come around." He lowered his brows at her, his eyes resembling a hooked fish.

"Nine years isn't enough time to tell your son who most likely has asked about me?"

"Whoa wait…all I'm saying is don't rush her. It was a lot to learn for both of you after the trial." Nick expelled his breath taking his seat keeping his gaze on her.

"So what did you find out at the hospital?"

"Baby didn't make it, the mother swears she had no knowledge of what her boyfriend had been doing to their daughter, Fin and Rollins are getting a search warrant now to toss the boyfriends place. I can't believe it Liv, he put his dead baby in his girlfriends bed after sodomizing her. Sick bastard!"

"Sadly the world's full of em." Her desk top phone rang interrupting their conversation. "Benson. We're on our way." Nick looked across his desk at Olivia wide eyed.

"Warner needs to see us now."

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"When I cracked your vic I found traces of metal fragments in her digestive track which made me explore further into her rectum and I found these." Doctor Melinda Warner, M.E. held up 6 vials of cocaine and what was left of a diamond wedding band. Nick and Olivia first looked at one another in wonderment then began to piece the missing part of the case together.

"He was still using her to move his shipment even after he knew she was a snitch before he killed her." Nick said.

"There's her wedding ring that belonged on her severed finger we found." Olivia said. "What happened to it?"

"The cyanide he poured down her throat started dissolving the gold. Normally gold won't dissolve except in cyanide and nitro hydrochloric acid and the vials were inserted." "Yeah we get that Melinda." Olivia told her not needing any further explanation.

"When her mafia lover found out she wasn't leaving her husband he was sending a message" Nick added…"the husband is next." Olivia and Nick said over top of one another.

"And that's why it's called Russian roulette." Melinda said covering the victim back up."

"I'm going to call the husband and have a unit sit on the house; I just hope I'm not too late." Nick said as he hurried out. Olivia stood there astounded. Doc Warner studied Olivia for a moment.

"Liv you ok?" Olivia rubbed circles to the side of her stomach.

"Yeah…maybe it's just something I ate."

"Do you know the sex yet?"

"Hopefully next week. He or she was not cooperative at my last visit."

"They never are." Melinda said laughing. "I didn't know with my daughter until my 7th month. It drove us bonkers wanting to know." Olivia smiled looking down at her almost perfectly round belly.

"You believe in myths?"

"Like if I'm round and high it's a girl or oval and low it's a boy?" Doc Warner shook her head yes.

"I think I know already."

"We have that intuition that men will never understand." The doc said. Olivia started to be on her way when doc Warner spoke up.

"Olivia, I was really sorry when I heard." Her eyes fell to the floor for a moment.

"Nick?"

"No, Fin, but it's only because I pressed him. Hope you don't mind. You're brothers in blue hold value to your privacy and look out for you."

"I know they do and no Melinda I don't mind. With being on desk duty I don't get much chance to circulate. I really lucked out working with a team like them."

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"Now that right there is the best burrito you'll ever eat north of Miami." Nick told his son as they ate dinner in a quaint little mom and pop restaurant in Washington Heights.

"If it's the best Uncle Nick then why didn't you get one?" Nick was caught.

"Well…I've…eaten the burrito's here I just happen to love their Cuban sandwiches." Gil smiled at him taking a huge bite out of his burrito. Nick gave him a wink.

"So did you like the movie?"

"Yeah it was really cool how that car just changed shapes and saved those kids."

"Yeah that was pretty cool."

"But cars really don't do that Uncle Nick, it's all just make believe." Nick smiled at his son as he spooned rice into his mouth. He dropped Gil off as he said right at 8 p.m.

"I'm glad you a good time mijo now it's time to get ready for bed tomorrow's school."

"Good night Uncle Nick, thanks again for taking me, I had a really good time."

"You're welcome Gil I had a nice time too. Maybe next week we can catch a hockey game, you like Hockey?"

"I've never been but I'm sure I'd like it."

"Ok we'll make plans to go the Garden, good night."

"Good night Nick thanks." Cynthia was just about to close the door when she pulled it back open and called his name.

"Think you can by a little early next week?"

"Sure but why?" He looked puzzled.

"I think there's something you need to talk to your son about man to man." Nick smiled hearing this news.

"You sure?"

"Yes." His lips curled into a smile as he stepped away.

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Olivia heard his keys in the door. Nick found her sitting in the nursery, slowly rocking, deep in thought. "Hey you, you ok?" he said from the doorway.

"Yeah. She reached up and put her journal on top of the dresser. "I was just thinking that when we find out what we're having we'll know if we have to do more painting." Nick started into the room.

"I'll paint the other room or we can hire someone. I'm taking care of personal business next week at 9:30."

"I can go and I'll call you when I'm done. Both of us out at the same time makes me a little nervous." He leaned over her placing his hands on the arms of the rocking chair bringing Olivia to a stop.

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away; I will be there with you and our baby no matter what." He pressed his lips to her stomach then brought his lips to hers and gave her a tender kiss.

"Ok." Her smile was weak as she met his gaze.

"I love you."

"I know I love you too." She smiled a little more.

"That's better." Nick told her. "What's that?" he asked looking at the folded piece of paper in her hands. She unfolded it.

"Just some names I've been rolling around in my mind." Nick took the paper from her.

"Jude, I like that, Julian?..eh." He flip flopped his hand. "Eli after Eli Manning?" Olivia rolled her eyes at his Nick's attributes to everything sports.

"Sorry I'm not naming my kid after a quarterback for the New York Giants."

"Liv I'm impressed you know who he is."

"Well without constant reminders every Monday morning with you, Amanda and Fin rehashing the game I would never now." He laughed kissing her again.

"Scarlett, I'm glad you kept that one I like it. Hmm Mina…that's a new one, I don't know, jury stills out that one. Now Sasha I like."

"Did you have a good time with Gil?"

"Yeah we did. I'm going take him to a Rangers game next week."

"Oh good he'll like that."

Olivia started to get up and Nick helped her to her feet. She placed her hands on the small of her back arching backwards and forwards.

"Back hurt?"

"Yeah."

"Come on I'll give you a back rub?"

"Will you?"

"Of course."

"Well my feet hurt too." Nick smirked at her leading her by the hand to the bedroom.

"Before I start is there anything else that hurts?"

"My everything hurts." He tucked her hair behind her ears leaning forward planting a kiss on her forehead.

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The squad was called to a hostage situation at a local bank where there were children being held. It had been a 4 hour standoff so far. Four people were dead so far two adults and two children. Hostage situations were always the most intense because you never underestimate the gunman. Olivia listened to the portable because she wanted to be clued in every second to what was going on. Not just for her fellow officers but she worried for Nick's safety. When she heard the shout "officer down officer down!" she was beside herself. She immediately rushed to the hospital where he was taken. When Amanda filled her in that it was only a surface wound Olivia felt relieved her partner wasn't dead knowing that the gunman could have aimed for his head. She needled him for not taking his own safety first.

"Alright well I'll leave you to him, warning…he's not very good at being injured." Olivia looked at Amanda thanking her before going in.

"Vest or no vest he could of still killed you!"

"But he didn't Liv, I'm alright just very sore." She touched gingerly the area where the bullet penetrated his vest and he winced. He gazed at her noticing her worry. Nick placed his hand on her cheek as she wrapped her hand around his wrist. Cragen looked on from the entrance.

*Keep the faith with Liv, Leo and the Martins. Believe you me I felt your pain with your reviews. It wasn't easy writing it. You all rock!