**I apologize ahead of time for what your about to read but bear with me as we all go through this very tough time with Olivia. I promise my fic doesn't stay all depressing and heart breaking, it does become lighter and happier as the chapters go on and because I neglected to include Nick's recent discovery of his son in the beginning, I'm now including that part in light of what happens on Wednesday's episode :D
"Hey Cap'n" Nick said removing his hand from her cheek as Cragen entered the exam room. Olivia with her back to the captain removed her hand quickly from around Nick's wrist.
"How you feeling?" Don looked on as he watched Nick wince in pain putting on his dress shirt.
"Like a million bucks."
"That's what happens when you play hero instead of a smart detective." Olivia said
"I'm glad you're ok but you just threw all your tactile training out the window."
"Captain I had a clear take, I'm fine, really…the doc has cleared me."
"This time, what about the next? Are you prepared to orphan your daughter and son?" Nick let his captain's words resonate as he locked eyes with him feeling the disapproval. Cragen gave them both a look before turning and leaving. Olivia looked at Nick then left him to finish getting dressed following her captain close behind.
"You're partner can't always be the hero Liv."
"He knows that and you know as well as I do when the adrenaline's pumping especially when there are children involved." She said coming to Nick's defense.
"Does he?"
"I always find the partners who manage to get shot." She said as they exited the emergency room lobby. Captain Cragen looked at his senior detective then stepped off the curb leaving her standing there watching him go. He thought as he sat in his car. He wasn't sure what to make of the intimate moment between his two detectives. Was it because they both got caught up in an emotional moment as cops do or was it just Olivia being concerned over this partner being shot? What was Nick's reason? Loneliness or was it just his nurturing way to calm his pregnant partner down?
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Nick arrived at Cynthia's and she had made dinner for all of them before Nick and Gil headed out to the hockey game. She busied herself in the kitchen while he had his man to man talk with his son in the living room.
"Gil, 9 years ago I was working undercover to catch the bad guys that were doing some real bad things and I had to arrest your Uncle for doing a lot of that bad stuff and I met your mom while I was working undercover because I knew your Uncle. Well, your mom and me…we really liked each other but I couldn't tell her I was the police and about to arrest her brother. We grew really close and I fell in love with her, I even wanted to marry her. And then your mom, see, she got pregnant with you and when she found out I was a police officer and your Uncle had to go to jail, well she wasn't too happy with me so she left me and she went and had you. Gil, I'm your father." The little boy's expression was stoic as he processed all this.
"If you knew, then why didn't you come for us?"
"I didn't know and I tried to look for your mom after my work was done but she was gone and after I saw your mom again after all this time it was then when I found out you were my son."
"So what does that mean for all of us?"
"Nothings going to change you'll still live here with your mom and you and me… will continue to get to know one another, do fun things. Gil was quiet as he looked down. "Look Gil I understand if you're angry right now and if you want me to go I'll go." They were sitting close on the couch when he brought his head up and looked at Nick then rushed into his arms hugging him tight. Nick reciprocated and smiled contently as he held his son. Cynthia looked on from the kitchen happy, knowing she made the right choice. Nick was sorta taken aback with the next questioned posed to him.
"Do you still love my mom?" Nick knew this was going to be hard.
"Mijo that's not fair to ask Nick and it's not polite." His mother said coming into the living room.
"It's alright he's entitled to the truth." Cynthia paused before going back into the kitchen.
"I won't lie to you Gil it was hard not knowing what happened to your mom but my job was done and I had to get back so a few years later I met another lady and I got married and we have a little girl named Zara, she's 6 years old soon to be 7."
"I have "a sister really?"
"Yes you do and you'll meet her real soon."
"That's way cool I can't wait…but wait why isn't she here, she doesn't like sports huh? She likes girl stuff?"
"Nah sports are not her favorite and yeah she likes girl things. Her mom and I are separated and Zara lives with both her mom and me. I see her on the weekends."
"Why?"
"Things didn't work out with her mom and me and she moved to Washington, D.C. where her job is."
"Wow sorry Uncl-"
"It's alright Gil you can call me Uncle Nick until you're ready."
"Ok dinner's ready." Cynthia called from the kitchen.
"Mmm smells wonderful." Nick said rubbing his hands together.
"My mom cooks really good you're in for a treat." Cynthia smiled at her son's candidness. Nick was very happy Gil enjoyed the hockey game as he looked over at him several times when he was either yelling at the opposition or cheering on the home team.
It was 10:00 when they finally made their way out of Madison Square Garden and hailed a cab. He walked Gil up to his door and said goodnight.
"He probably won't eat for a day or two." Nick said as Cynthia met them at the door. She was puzzled by Nick's comment.
"Thanks Nick I had a great time."
"I'm glad, me too." Nick said his good byes as they went inside.
He tried to be as quiet as a church mouse but she stirred as he passed by the bed on his way into the bathroom. "Hey how was your evening?"
"I'm sorry Liv I didn't think you'd be awake it's late." She sat up yawning turning on the lamp. Nick reached for his phone in his front pocket.
"We had a good time; here take a look at this."
"Aww that's nice." He really enjoyed tonight by the look on his face."
"HE DID Liv and that kid can eat." We had dinner at his house and we weren't even into the first period of the game when he wanted popcorn and I'm talking a tub not one of those small boxes but a large tub and a trash can sized soda." He showed her the size by expanding his hands.
"You had dinner at Cynthia's?" A pang of jealousy crept up out of nowhere. Cynthia wasn't aware of her and Nick's relationship and maybe this woman would try to rekindle her relationship with Nick later on. Olivia second guessed herself.
"Yeah, why?"
"No reason I just thought you guys would eat there."
"With those prices, I don't know how families do it. About a $100.00 bucks to feed a family of four at an event there and the seats pretty much set me back a paycheck."
"I'm glad you had a great time tonight hun so come to bed."
"I'm a little keyed up so I'll be in after I watch the news." Nick leaned down and planted a kiss on her lips. She watched him walk out feeling morose.
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"How was father son time last night?" Fin asked.
"It was good I think I've converted him to a ranger's fan."
"That's good Nick that's real good."
"Yeah." Captain Cragen walked in in his dress blues having just come from a meeting with the brass.
"Nick, a moment please."
"Uh-oh you did it now man." Fin razzed him.
"Yeah always seems that way after I'm left cleaning up your messes." Fin was left with a blank stare as Nick walked by.
"Owww." Amanda chuckled.
"Hey who's your partner?" He chided her.
"Captain."
"Come in and close the door." He closed the door but remained standing.
"You can have a seat there's no charge." Nick sat.
"How's everything going with Maria and your daughter?"
""Fine, just fine. Maria's cancer is in remission and Zara is very happy to know her mom is not sick anymore."
"That's great news I'm happy for all of you. Job going ok?"
"Yes…why would ask me that?"
"Just checking in, I know you have a lot on your plate lately with the sudden realization that you have a son now, Maria's illness and your marital status."
"Thank you Captain, I appreciate that but everything's fine." He sat behind his overly large desk looking at his detective. This made Nick feel uneasy so he stood facing his captain in his usual stance with his hands on his hips and thumbs tucked into his belt.
"Anything else sir?"
"No that'll be all Nick." He nodded turning around leaving. Olivia watched as he waked back to his desk and took his seat looking bewildered.
"What was that all about?" she asked. He rubbed under his bottom lip.
"I tell you later."
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Olivia met him at a deli close by the precinct. He was at a table waiting for her. "You don't think I can fit into a booth any longer?" He gave her a sharp look as she took a seat giving herself enough of a bumper zone between her swollen belly and the edge of the table. She leaned on her elbows folding her hands looking across the table at him.
"It was a joke. What's going on Nick?" He looked around then leaned forward laying his forearms flat on the table.
"I get the feeling Cragen thinks there's something going on with us." She studied him for a moment.
"Is that what he told you when he called you in?"
"No not in so many words."
"Don't beat around the bush what exactly did he say?"
"He asked how I was, my family…and the job, just thought it was out of the norm."
"To ask about your family?"
"No, about the job! He knows I've always been cutting it above board; he doesn't have any reason to ask me about the job. I'm doing my job Liv and I'm doing it well."
"Nick you've had a lot on your plate this past year and that is all he's concerned is that you're not letting your personal life interfere with the job, trust me, I know him, he would never delve into any of our personal business unless he sees it affecting your ability to do your job, it's not his way. He's the type of boss who will go to bat for his unit but cross him and you've lost your biggest supporter."
"I hope you're right Liv."
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"Where's Liv?" Sergeant Munch asked.
"She has an appointment with her obstetrician this morning." Nick never looked up from his report he was scouring over as Munch stood beside his desk.
"Ah yes the miracle of life, the joys of motherhood await her but little does she know her child may be moving back in with her after he…does she know what she's having?"
"She hasn't shared with any of us that I know of." Nick looked up to Fin and Amanda who both shook their heads no.
"Munch is there something I can help you with?" Nick asked noticing him just standing there with a box clutched to his chest.
"I was going to ask Liv to go over these tapes with me but since you have so graciously offered your fre-" Nick looked at his watch making excuses.
"You know what I'm sorry but I'm late for an appointment, I gotta go."
"Your son?" Fin asked sitting casual at his desk with his boot resting on the edge.
"Nick stood behind his chair pulling his coat off the back as he pondered Fin's question.
"Yeah, I'll be back in a bit."
"Ok." Amanda said looking his way.
"Detective Tutuola come and be of assistance to your Sergeant."
"See Amanda I was right he's let his title go to his head." An hour later Captain Cragen waltzed in carrying a cup of coffee and the newspaper and noticed how barren his squad room looked except for Rollins.
"Where's everyone?"
"Uh Fin and Munch are reviewing tapes and Liv is at the doctor and Amaro had some personal business to take care of with his son." Cragen stood in the middle of the squad room floor giving one last glance around before turning on his heels and going into his office. Amanda kept busy with her work not giving it a second thought.
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"Hey sorry traffic is murder when you live and work in the city." He leaned in and kissed her cheek.
"No worries." She said smiling.
"Olivia Benson?"
"Good timing Nick." She said as he gave her his hand helping her stand. They followed the nurse back to where she showed them into the exam room. She weighed Olivia and took her blood pressure.
"The doctor will be right in." Nick stood against the wall his face looking anxious.
"Nervous?"
"No…yes, you?" Olivia offered her hand as she lay back on the exam table. Nick moved from the wall taking her hand.
"A little but I'm ready to know."
"Me too." They gazed at one another awash in the joyous moment all parents face. Nick bent over kissing her forehead then rested his head on her shoulder. Several moments later there was a knock on the door.
"Good morning." The doctor looked at Nick meeting him for the first time.
"Are you dad?"
"I am."
"I'm Dr. Baker nice to meet you." She looked at Olivia after pulling away her hand from Nick's. I know you so I don't need to shake your hand, how's everything and how's your little baby boy you brought home last month?" The doctor smiled bright in anticipation of the god news. There hadn't been any mention of Leo in weeks so this was difficult for Olivia as she hesitated to answer. The doctor's eyes scanned from hers to Nicks knowing she had asked something Olivia was not comfortable answering. She looked away with watery eyes.
"Please to meet you I'm Nick." He paused as he looked passed her to the wall then back to her. "The surrogate changed her mind but Olivia has filed suit against her and she has a court date in January. The lawyer says she has a very good chance of winning the case."
"Oh I surely hope so, that's terrible; I'm so sorry Olivia if I had known I wouldn't have mentioned it." The doctor reached over to the counter grabbing the box of tissues handing them to Olivia.
"Its ok." She said nodding and wiping at the corner s of her eyes wanting to get on with the appointment. Nick stood at her head holding her hand as the doctor prepared to do the ultrasound. Nick's eyes grew wide as he watched his baby appear on the monitor as the doctor slid the probe from left to right across Olivia's belly. He voiced that he saw the baby's bottom, the arm and the foot. Olivia's excitement grew as well as Nick's.
"I'm going to ask you to turn on your left side then back over. This baby likes to sleep but we're going to wake he or she up because if we have to be awake in the morning so do they." Nick and Olivia smiled.
"Ahhh that's much better and…there…we…have it…congratulations mom you're having a girl."
"A girl?" Nick said happily. Olivia smiled squeezing his hand at the news.
"Hmm-mmm a girl." The doctor said wiping off the probe and her belly. Olivia lifted her face to meet his lips as they shared a quick kiss.
"Everything looks good, blood pressure is high but stable so if you don't have any questions for me I'll see you next month."
"Thanks Dr. Baker." The doctor winked at her as she left them alone.
*Keep the faith with Liv, Leo and the Martins. Believe you me I felt your pain with your reviews. It wasn't easy writing it. You all rock!