Sessions

by Cu Chulainn 1945

AU where instead of getting off scot-free, Gold's sentence for beating up Moe French is five hours of therapy a week. Archie, not being a traditional therapist, takes this in some very strange ways. This session: fishing.

17. Leroy's Captain's Log 1

From the Diary of Leroy

Dear Diary, what is my last name? I don't think even I know for sure. Once, it was on the nametag of my janitor clothes. Once, but no more. Now, all I have is an alcohol-stain and a lipstick-written love note from someone named Ben. And no nametag.

I wonder why they give us nametags? Maybe it's because of that one time. You know, back when I was a stand-up comedian, I once got stage fright so bad I forgot my own name. I was so angry afterward that my good friend Steve Colbert (I call him Steve, all his buddies call him Steve) started calling me after that dwarf in Snow White – 'Grouchy.'

Well, it wasn't really 'Grouchy' – but you understand how Disney is with copyright these days.

Ba-dum pssh.