Sessions

by Cu Chulainn 1945

AU where instead of getting off scot-free, Gold's sentence for beating up Moe French is five hours of therapy a week. Archie, not being a traditional therapist, takes this in some very strange ways. This session: fishing.

19. Leroy's Captain's Log 3

Dear Diary, today in support group, You-Know-Who was there. And if for some reason you don't know who You-Know-Who is, THEN YOU ARE NOT ME, SO GET OUT OF MY DIARY. IT ISN'T EVEN A DIARY! DAMN IT, IT'S A CAPTAIN'S LOG!

Anyway, You-Know-Who's all like "I'm not talkin'" and we're all like "You have to this is group." But he's a prick. And then we started talking 'bout our dreams and dream journals and Hopper was all like "Mr. GoYOUKNOWWHO I MEAN would you like to share a dream?" And Gold was like "no" and Hopper made him and Gold was like "I had a dream about bells."

Who has a dream about bells? Well, I may not know who dreams about bells, but I know what the bells in You-Know-Who's dream were singin'! "Looney Tune," that's what, as my old colleague Jim Carrey might have said. I was in stand-up once, you know.

… Ba-dum pssh.