Chapter 22

Not Anymore

I ran to Alice's waiting arms and would have cried if I could. "You heard what he said" I said and Alice could only nod slightly as I sighed.

My perception of the situation was still working its way to make itself complete and whole in front of my eyes. But I knew Jason was still in much more trouble than me. I could only look at Alice as we both sprinted out the window and ran towards Jason's house. It felt good to have my sister on my side. I knew this was a difficult time for everyone (Bella and everything) but she was healing quickly. Her factures weren't as severe as we perceived them as so that was a good thing. She was able to walk and stand up but Edward was still being overprotective and stuff. I wasn't too sure if we should come up with a plan before we left for Jason's but it was probably best that he help us. I was beginning to wonder if I was overreacting but I knew how Edward could be sometimes and quickly brushed that thought away.

The woods were calmer than I would have guessed it was as if the trees were mocking me in their sense. I could even hear the slight rustle of a branch that was probably happening 2 miles way that how quiet it was. Alice was running beside me although I was running a bit faster with more desperation. I knew that Jason was still safe and tracked Edward who was still sitting with Bella who was trying to soothe his anger. Bella probably knew how I was feeling…maybe it was a female thing that you got a little protective and overreacting of your mate. Especially if it was two people you loved that were involved if you will.

We got to Jason's house and I knew Kyle was out hunting so we were safe. Not that Kyle was a problem just that I preferred to have Jason alone with Alice so we had a clearer view of things although one extra vampire on our side wouldn't help but it would be…awkward to explain the situation to Kyle. If you know what I mean it was almost as if Jason knew I was there because before I even knocked the door opened and Jason looked me in the eyes. He pulled me into a tight hug which I felt more than a need to do right now.

"You know right?" I said softly to him and he could only nod but tried to lighten up the situation.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to this lovely girl standing behind you?"

I smiled a little although despite the circumstances this behavior was typical for Jason. "Yeah this is Alice my older sister. Jason, Alice, Alice, Jason." I said introducing them and they shook hands and exchanged a few words.

"You know you can come in right?" Jason said.

"Really?" I asked and he rolled his eyes and opened the door a little more.

"Sit" he said and gestured to his den that had a plasma screen TV set up and a couch that was curled around the room slightly.

"We need to talk to you" Alice said.

"I know" Jason said in a serious but sullen voice.

"You don't know what Edward's capable of when he's mad" I said.

"Hazel, he's your brother he will do what's right" Jason put his hands on my shoulders and picked up my head.

"Let's just say he still has those anger problems of a seventeen year old boy." I said.

Jason looked at me again and sighed "Alright fine you aren't going to let your guard down as I can see and I saw what he said so…" but I cut him off.

"Wait you aren't mad? Scared?" I said and Jason shook his head.

"Why should I be Edward's cool" Jason said.

"Jason that's not the point he isn't going to hurt me he wants you to pay or whatever." I said and Jason looked at Alice who nodded but he wasn't looking at her with fear or cluelessness. Jason Weismann had a plan and I could tell that by his expression and the look in his eyes.

"OK we're not going that drastic in violence" I said.

"Well that's what you sound like…just trying to prove my point" Jason said flicking my ponytail and I rolled my eyes.

"I think you're just going to have to stand up to Edward, Hazel." Alice said.

"I know that but I'm trying to think of a way to make him listen, Alice. You know how Edward can be" I said.

"How could I not" Alice said and I gave her a look as if to say "no time for sarcasm now" and she got the message. But her eyes were already wide…she was having a vision. Jason knew what was going on due to the fact that he had already seen my history I looked at Alice and desperately wished Edward was here if he wasn't in his rage so he could see what was happening but I quickly got a pencil and paper and pressed it in Alice's hand to which she began to draw what she was seeing.

It was Edward running angrily in a rage…arriving at Jason's house knocking the door and running after Jason.

I stared horrified but Jason didn't he looked at me and said "Hazel…don't worry this will all turn out fine."

I knew he wasn't lying but a part of me was just horrified though I mean how could someone who was my hero…my role model be so angry because of one thing? I knew Edward was only a vampire (play on) but he was still my brother shouldn't he be putting himself in my shoes. Although I knew it was possible I knew sometimes his temper got the best of him.

I tracked Edward who was still with Bella and trying not to get upset he had heard my thoughts and was mad at himself for hurting me but he was still angry at Jason. How could it be that this was the truth? I mean weren't we past this kind of immaturity I knew that everything would eventually unravel and figure themselves out. In the end everything would be OK and work out but for now I was doomed to be in this confusion.

I was going to have to sacrifice myselfI knew if Edward saw that I was willing to do that in order to prevent him from hurting Jason then he would see…he would hear me out.

"Jason, Alice, I think I have a plan" I said.

"What?" They asked.

"Listen, I know Edward I mean after all he is my brother. I am one of the only people that can calm him down other than Jasper's ability. I will talk to him…let him know what you mean to me Jason…how this was my decision as well. I know exactly how I'm going to phrase it and if he gets the message which he will…he has to. Anyway my point is he'll understand" I said.

Alice and Jason stared at me with both curiosity and confusion maybe. "I think Hazel's got a point." Jason said.

"Yeah" Alice said and I could only smile as I realized I had caught victory checkpoint part one.

I would have to track Edward at all times to keep on guard. I was tired of all of this though…sick of all of this confusion and anger that was between the whole Edward and Jason of it all. I was supportive with Bella right? Although I knew Edward was just being an older brother…he wasn't used to all of this when I saw all this I mean that the whole thing of that I now had a mate. The door creaked open and Kyle walked in…not expecting what he would see.

"What's going on?" Kyle asked and Jason and I could only look at each other for a split second before explaining the whole thing to Kyle.

"We're planning something" Jason said casually.

"What?" Kyle asked in an older brother sort of way.

"Let's just say that Edward's in one of his rages again and he is angry at Jason." Alice said.

"What did you do" Kyle turned to Jason.

"Nothing of the criminal offense just something" Jason said and Kyle got the message.

"You know I was in a situation like this once except not for this matter but when I found out that Jerusalem, my creator was killed in battle." Kyle said.

"Let's hear it" Alice said.

"Are you sure?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah sure why not" Jason said.

Kyle sighed dramatically "oh fine" I turned and anticipated this story.

I tried to picture me and what I would do if I found out Carlisle had been killed in battle. I would probably want to avenge him and seek the one who killed him. But I knew Kyle wasn't that type of person. This story was probably him in Edward's shoes I would imagine right.

"It was a cold winter night in Alaska. I had been coming home from hunting. I had heard of there being a battle in the south and that Jerusalem was indeed involved. Jerusalem and I still were in touch after he transformed me into a vampire thus saving my life. He was an older vampire…very wise in his aspects of life. In his human life possibly the time of King David many Jewish people looked to him for wisdom. Of course this was before King Solomon who was a very wise man. Anyways I was approached by a Spanish man. I could tell this man was a vampire because I could smell his scent and the fact that he had no beating heart or blood in his system. The year was approximately twelve years after I was created so technically I was thirty three. The man said 'my name is Eleazer are you Kyle Weismann?' and I said 'yes' Eleazer looked like he hadn't hunted in a long time. He also looked very sad he had a woman come up and said something to her in Spanish. The woman sighed and said something back but I didn't learn what they were saying until about twenty years later when I began to speak Spanish. At first he said 'I cannot tell him' and the woman who was his mate Carmen replied 'you have to the poor child lost his creator' I probably stared back confused at them so Carmen stepped forward and said to me. 'Kyle, you're creator…Jerusalem. He is no more. He was destroyed in the battle of El Paso that was led by Maria of the Southern Army.' She put a comforting hand on my shoulder and I felt numb to the touch. How could he be dead? Jerusalem was my hero…I looked up to him. I was angry with the person who did this. Did Jerusalem ask them to kill him…no. Did Jerusalem do anything to provoke this person…no. I learned more about Maria and how she had some very powerful people on her side including major Jasper Whitlock who was in the civil war. I now know that Jasper is your brother, Hazel and your mate, Alice. Anyway I wanted to avenge him…kill Maria the mean coldhearted monster that killed him. She had taken a precious life. Jerusalem was mourned by all of his created and even by some of his influencers. Now according to human legend Jerusalem was killed by Goliath after being summoned by David as to be part of the army and sacrificing himself. When I found Maria I saw her…yelling at her army for the horrible people they were. I approached her with trembling hands and said 'ma'am you led the battle of El Paso…correct' to which she replied 'yes indeed and I am the champion' the anger boiled inside of me I lunged myself at Maria but she bit me and I blacked out. I woke up tied in a corner with Jasper watching me. 'Are you awake?' I groaned and he said 'go now she is planning to kill you.' He freed me from my anti vampire chains and I realized that Maria had bitten me. But my point is even in times of sad and darkness people resort to things they don't mean to do. There is always one person…a savior and there will be one in the situation you are in now." Kyle said.

I stared speechless. The story was sad but empowering it gave me the strength that I needed to do what I had to do.

I wondered if Edward knew what he was doing would actually hurt me. He probably did…he probably cared if he was serious. I didn't want to fear him and I didn't want to have to have this resort as a last measure. I wondered if maybe I shouldn't have been born because then none of this would happen but I thought of Jason and what would have become of him. I thought of Edward and how we wouldn't be here today…together. I couldn't think like that so once again I let that thought leave my mind. I remembered when I was in the Volturi's hands and sent Edward messages through my mind when Renata's shield went down. I knew if I did it now however it would only give him more reason since he would probably be reminded back to the time. While I was so caught up in my thoughts of Edward and our problems I forgot what the present actually was only to be taken to reality by Jason who pulled me closer to him in a reassuring way and I leaned into his chest as he stroked my hair even more. Kyle was sitting with Alice also coming up with ideas. I knew Kyle couldn't be mad at Edward and I wasn't either but I knew the reason why Jason wasn't either it was because Kyle was so forgiving and the nature was passed down to Jason. I could feel some of my heart (even though it technically wasn't there) slowly melting away…almost tearing in half from the emotional and physical stress this was putting on all of us.

I began to drift into my mind when I thought of Edward and tracked him…he was coming.

"Alice" I said in a surprisingly nervous voice to me and Alice looked at me with her wide eyes. Jason stared back at me too.

I looked at him and mouthed "I'm sorry" I ran outside and Alice and Jason followed me. I would wait for Edward there. I could hear his anger and footsteps from the woods away. Bella was chasing after him but it wasn't worth it due to the fact that she was only a human and her legs were both injured.

Edward forcefully (but carefully) carried Bella back to the house and told Esme to watch her. Bella was crying and begging Edward to stop and I could almost see the expression on my face as I watched. It was something I inherited from Edward how sometimes we made the same facial expressions. I could once again hear him as he now sprinted faster but considered his actions. This surprised me because when Edward was angry he never did that.

I saw him stop for a second and read my thoughts "STOP IT EDWARD!" I quickly thought in my head but he shook his head as if to know I was watching and continued running. He punched his hand into a tree and started to write out a suicide note only to realize it was physically impossible to kill himself and Bella was counting on him…I was counting on him. I knew he wouldn't hurt Jason but I would still have to continue my actions if I wanted the outcome to stay the same. The instance was not really appropriate however for me to be thinking of my actions. Sometimes I felt so unsure about things. Why were these decisions all up to me? But then I realized that life wasn't and is never always just a boat sailing on calm water. I remember in our human years after the Titanic crashed Edward had put the meaning of life in a phrase for me.

"Life isn't a pleasant sail on a calm summer day. Life is a once pleasant sail on a summer day that turns to winter and tsunami waves only to calm and continue like a repetitive affect." I knew he was right and this was the first time I thought of this quote since then and now realized that it did apply to life.

Why was he always right about things? I caught his scent which meant he was close. I almost felt a protective instinct to jump in front of Jason and lunge at the air in front of him but Alice knew what I was thinking and shook her head. Jason held onto my wrists as to prevent me from doing it as well. The anger I felt was overpowering. I wasn't angry at Edward I was angry at everything for some reason and if nothing let me my anger wouldn't be controlled. I wished Jasper was here so he could calm me down. The only thing however that seemed to appear out of thin air was the face…a face I had never seen before. But the face I was seeing…was my brother.

Edward's face was hard as stone and looked unbreakable. It looked like someone had taken a rock and thrown it repeatedly at him. He looked like a beaten man. He glanced at me and saw Jason as his eyes almost turning a dark color from anger and the inability to control that anger.

"Calm down Eddie…please" I said in my nervous voice and I saw his expression soften a little bit. It looked as if things were going on task. We all just basically stood there until Edward spoke.

"Jason" he began.

Alice said "don't do anything stupid Edward" he glared at her and turned back to Jason.

"Did you do it…is it true?" he asked with a ring of hurt in his voice which angered me slightly.

I turned to Jason and looked at him as if "don't talk smart with him…he's serious" and Jason nodded as if to answer my question.

"Yes sir" Jason said and I shut my eyes tightly waiting for his anger to come. Edward took a deep breath and looked at him again.

"Did she give her consent" and I put my face in my hands…this was stupid he was being so immature.

"Yes sir" Jason replied politely again and I glanced back at my brother who stood there for a long time…thinking what to say. I got his eyes and he looked into mine. I wanted my brother back…I wanted this devil that had possessed him gone.

"You realize that my sister is only twelve years old right" Edward asked.

"Yes sir" Jason said again.

"You realize that YOU are also twelve years old" Edward's voice was rising with his anger as if to prove it. I shut my eyes tight again as I saw Edward clench his teeth awaiting Jason's response.

"Yes sir I do realize I am twelve years old" Jason said politely again and Edward clicked his tongue.

He looked at me and I swallowed I wanted to find a way to phrase what I was going to say but my words wouldn't come…my brain was in overdrive and not working properly as it seemed. Edward took a slight step forward and I wondered what was to come of Jason and I.

"Look I don't want this to turn into a battle or anything." Edward said looking at the ground and I looked him in the eyes again.

I wished that I could pick up a stick and just cut myself to be distracted from all of this. I knew what Edward was going to do and I didn't want him going through with it. I didn't want to fear him but I knew if I didn't act quickly Jason would surely die. I still didn't exactly believe the fact that my brother would kill my mate…I didn't think he would do it but now as it seemed Edward was serious. I wanted to just disappear from the Earth below me and everything would probably be fine.

"Jason" Edward spoke slowly and Jason stared at him with what it seemed was just his serious eyes I grabbed his wrist to make sure he wasn't going to sacrifice himself.

He gave me a look and whispered "it's fine Hazel" I looked at Edward and he stared shamefully at the floor.

This sometimes would have a positive or negative impact on life and I felt like I was slowly drifting to the depths of hell and I put images in my head of me going to hell. I felt bad about tormenting Edward like that it hurt me to see him in pain but I needed him to see what he was doing to me this was probably just the whole Jason of it all that got to him. Maybe it got to him that he wasn't the only boy in my life anymore (not that he ever was).

He swallowed again and stared at the floor looking if he could cry he probably would. His eyes looked like those of a man who had just been tortured and hadn't slept for days. This was the brother that stood before me. I now realized what he was afraid of but I had already told him it wasn't the case I mean we were vampires and he was just being paranoid.

I couldn't take it anymore my words just came rushing. "EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN!" I shouted and Alice and Jason looked at me.

"Yeah Haze" he said somewhat relieving his expression maybe he was just happy that I finally spoke to him.

"Listen to me OK just hear me out." I said and Edward raised his head again putting on another one of his serious expressions. "You know how you've always said you wanted me to be happy no matter what?" I asked "yeah" he said pretending to be confused. "Well what you're doing…overreacting it's not doing anything…it's just killing everyone." I said.

"You're right let's just get this over with."

"NO EDWARD!" I shouted as he sprung at Jason who could only stand there as Edward repeatedly punched him in the face. Vampires aren't affected by this but Jason began mumbling something in Hebrew…it was a prayer.

"MOTHER, STOP, DON'T KILL ME!" Jason began shouting my eyes widened as I remembered Jason's past and everything came together. I threw myself at Edward and knocked him off of Jason who stared at me. Edward must've lost his senses because he slammed me against the floor and my face cracked. I felt like I had been shot in the face as I lay there and stared at Edward.

Once he realized what he did he immediately lost his anger. "HAZEL!" he shouted in my face.

"I'm fine" I said and he looked at me with a slight ring of anger but relief.

"Listen Hazel…I'm sorry" he said.

"Why?" I said.

"Because…my anger…it's my stupid senses I'm not thinking of you. I'm just being so overprotective of you." Edward said and I looked at him for sure that my brother had lost his mind. That was not something he would say. I think I had made everything to its senses so I just said the first thing that came to my mind.

"Listen to me…why do you care so much…I'm nothing. Just you're stupid pathetic little sister." Edward looked at me again obviously hurt by my words.

"Stop" he said.

"Well that's what you're doing" I said and he furrowed his eyebrows.

"You're not making sense" he said.

"Now you see what you sound like." I said and he looked at me again like "what the hell."

"Remember that time where we were sitting on the couch and I fought back." I said thinking fast.

"Yeah" he said looking confused then smiling a little.

"Well remember how you said even as a vampire I was still growing up." I said still trying to get my point across.

A look came over his face that I had never seen before. "Don't say it" he said.

"I'm not a little girl anymore." I said and he shut his eyes tight.

"I was afraid you were going to eventually say that one day." And I smirked a little.

"Don't take it out on Jason." I said.

He nodded, "I'm sorry" he pulled me close to him…holding me close and stroking the back of my hair. I shut my eyes and smiled now everything had played out.

"I love you so much Haze" Edward said.

"I love you too" I said and I stayed there for the time being…safe forever.

Edward got up and walked over to Jason. "I'm sorry…can you forgive me. I was such a fucking asshole to you before. Actually I don't know how I could ever let myself think I could hurt you knowing it would hurt Haze." He said and Jason smirked for a second and opened his mouth to speak.

"It's cool Edward…you care about her. There's nothing wrong with that" Jason said and offered his hand out I slapped my head (this was ridiculous now they found it necessary to make a "treaty" in front of me).

Edward shook Jason's hand and they became friends in an instance sort of. I felt as if everything had been reversed. Before I was in the dark tunnel and now the light was shining through. I felt as if an angel had taken me and guided me home.

"Want to come home to hang out Haze?" Edward asked and I looked at Jason who nodded.

"Sure" I said and Alice smiled happy everything worked out as well.

Jason gave me a quick kiss goodbye for the first time in front of Edward and I walked towards my brother who waited with an open arm to put around my shoulder. I thought he would stop there but he didn't instead he swung me onto his back…just like the old days.

When we got back home I felt as if I was in déjà vu it was strange. It was like the time with the Volturi in a sense. It was all too familiar and I knew I had been here before. I knew I had to take everything serious and not give up on anything. I was pretty optimistic that for now life was going good and I would be OK…we would be OK. Bella was sitting on the couch with Esme massaging her leg and watching some TV show together.

"Hello" Edward said kissing Bella's head and Esme kissed his hair in a motherly way. Bella smiled when she saw me come into the room and I sat down beside Edward.

"Is all of the drama solved?" Esme asked and Edward smirked before looking at me and ruffling my hair.

"Is it Haze?" he asked.

"Can we just pretend this never happened?" I asked and Edward nodded as he did his crooked smile that I loved seeing. I laid back into my brother's arms in a dramatic way. I almost felt that now I could rest. I had begun to think of what everyone of my past would be thinking of who I had become right now. I decided to come up with a little…imagination if you will of what everyone would have done.

I know mama is looking down on Edward and I. Probably thinking about us crazy kids and proud of how we are still close and stuck together. She probably would've wanted that for us in the future anyway. She would've wanted us to become vampires in this life because after all it was her who convinced Carlisle to transform us. I don't really talk about it much because it hurts but I miss my mother. Esme is nothing short of her and I consider Esme to be my mother. Even though no one can really ever take the place of my biological mother I still consider Esme to be my "real" mother if you will. I wasn't very close to papa in my human life. He was more preoccupied with working to really pay any attention to Edward or me. I remember one time I had an art show at our school and papa was too busy working to come. Edward got very mad and it wasn't likely that children disobeyed their parents but Edward did and that was sort of the start of when I began to look up to him though he had always been my hero. Papa is probably looking down on us and proud of what we've accomplished. Maybe he's sorry for the way he acted in our human life and his life and wants us to know that. Marilynn…well Marilynn I can just see her laughing at what I've become (not in a mean way but joking way). She would laugh at how I stayed my half old self and didn't really "grow up" in a sense. I can still see her even laughing at the present people now because Marilynn was very formal in her lifetime. I missed Marilynn but once I became friends with Harley, Keri, Brea, Ian, & Gabi I was somewhat eased of her loss. I tracked my old friends knowing they were happy and leading carefree lives. I know they were still a bit shaken up from Harley's death and wondering what ever happened to Jason and me. I can picture Keri just saying how we probably went to the moon. I relaxed a little knowing that some of it was over.

Edward held me tighter in his arms and I felt safer than ever there I closed my eyes and knew nothing could touch me. I was busy thinking that I didn't realize it was now twilight…Edward and Bella's favorite time.

"How are you feeling Bella?" I asked turning my attention to her and Edward smirked for a second as I pinched him and he ruffled my hair in a playful way.

"I'm good…my legs are a bit sore but are healing. It also feels good to finally be able to see out of my eye and my shoulder isn't as sore as it was." Bella said and I raised my eyebrows.

"That's good I guess" I said.

Bella laughed "yeah you bet."

I smirked and Edward leaned over to kiss Bella's hair. But then without warning he tackled me to the floor as Bella laughed and I fought back.

"It's the Ed attack" Edward said playfully.

"Oh is it" I said and he laughed.

"Yeah I guess it's not" and he picked me up just to throw me back on the couch.

"I hear torturing of Hazel going on and I wanted to join in." Emmett said walking into the room and I groaned as Edward laughed and Bella had a smirk on her face.

"Yeah Emmett come help me" Edward said.

"Assholes" I muttered.

"What did you say" Edward said pretending to threaten me with a knife.

"Nothing sir" I mocked.

"Huh it seems that Hazel here thinks it's okay to talk back." Edward said.

"I guess her big brothers have to teach her a lesson because she is a stupid dwarf" Emmett said.

I ran outside as my brothers chased me and Alice came to join the "game" it was nice to have my sister on my side but I knew Edward and Emmett were just being themselves and sometimes that was annoying but most of the time fun. Alice and I went around the tree and hid behind it. I tracked Edward and Emmett who were hiding nearby.

It was pretty much pointless doing this since we were vampires but we somewhat ignored our vampiric abilities and basically just did what we were doing. Out of nowhere Edward tackled me to the floor and had me pinned but I fought back once again and playfully turned him over (he let me).

"Give up or die" I said pretending to choke him.

"AH! The pain it's unbearable" Edward said pretending to be in pain.

"Oh no what have I done" I said dramatically.

"Tell my family I love them" Edward said dramatically.

"No" I said and we laughed.

"TRAITOR!" Emmett yelled from a distance.

"NEVER!" Edward shouted and reversed.

"Oh OK you want to play that way fine…fine…ok…ok" I said pretending to be insulted but lightly bit him so no venom would leak.

"HAZE" Edward shouted and laughed at the same time.

"You guys are so weird" Alice said.

"Good" Emmett said.

"Oh and you're not" I said to Emmett.

"At least I'm not a stupid dwarf like you." He said.

"Nice one Met" Edward said high fiving him and I glared at him.

I cleared my throat overdramatically and said "well you know technically" I did a walk slightly mocking Alice and she glared at me. "I am older than you" I said and Emmett rolled his eyes as Edward and Alice laughed.

"You have to admit she's kind of right" Edward said.

"ENOUGH!" Emmett yelled and we laughed again.

I loved hanging out with my siblings I would always have fun and usually nothing really ever happened I was beginning to think to myself that life was sometimes OK to be good and you know what…I had everything I needed right in front of my eyes and you know what sometimes it was OK to have things that way. Although as vampires most times people just assume we have life easy and things are always handed to us but what fun is that? When you don't have to work for things it just makes you weak willed…this was obviously something I learned from Edward. That was the way we were raised to think because papa worked all of the time. I always had an open mind about things and was ready for the changes to come. I was ready for whatever would occur next because that was just how I was. When you have to analyze your situation you think…organize…solve. Another thing I learned from Edward. It was somewhat unfair how he was ALWAYS right about things but I guess that was just how life was…right? One thing Edward has always taught me in life is this.

Life isn't about the things you do it's about the things you do and how you do it. Sometimes you live life at its best and fullest but some spend their time going with the crowd and trying to figure out life's meaning. But what is the true meaning of life when it was given to you as a supposed gift you have to embrace that gift just as you would embrace anything else…cherish that gift for as long as you can and more importantly not to take one day for granted because at any given minute, second, hour, day, time the day could end…and so could you.

It was a strange thing how I seemed to understand in a sense but not really understand its full meaning until now. I had always thought that there were going to be things you want that you couldn't have and that it wasn't OK to have what you wanted. Well now I've learned that it is OK and you can't have everything you want but if you work towards it and put your own time and effort in. Your work might just pay off. OK enough of all of this talk about life crap and talk about real stuff.

We went inside and threw on some re runs of South Park. It was the episode where Kyle is voted ugliest in the class and he is shown different things meanwhile the list committee is going through difficult times because as it turned out Bebe abused her power as president or whatever. It was stupid but funny at the same time. I leaned on Edward's chest and he stroked my hair with one hand and the other hand running through his hair that he always did. I wondered if sometimes I took my playing with my hair after him. He smirked at my thoughts and then stopped because he knew I didn't like it when he "invaded" my head. There were so many things running through my mind right now it wasn't even funny. Edward continued to stroke my hair and I closed my eyes for a split second and pretended to sleep.

Fox 5 news came onto the screen as an emergency check in.

"Emmett" I said and gestured to the screen so naturally he clicked the button to see what was going on.

"Attention we have a new update on the Forks West Middle School massacre. The group who committed the crime is believed to be MISALEV an organization that was planning attacks on children and schools for a while. This is very good news however for the families who lost victims in the attack whose month anniversary is coming up once again here is a list of the victims who have finally gotten justice. Once again the victims were Devlin Adams age 12, Jenny Grant age 13, Adam Murphy age 12, Katherine Macabre age 12, Ian Gasman age 14, Bertie Abaci age 13, Sergio Howe age 13, Phoebe Ahlstrom age 12, Wade Manzullo age 12, Terrance Schweitzer age 14, Salvador Wallington age 12, Eduardo Story age 12, Wilma Whished age 11, Kent Bracero age 14, Millicent Ashland age 13, Arturo Sanden age 12, Anastasia Macon age 13, Terrence Fassbinder age 13, Noelle Vann Cater age 14, Angelique Reuben age 12, Trisha Fest age 12, Tracy Stocky age 13, Harley Schuster age 12, Gabe Cruz age 13, and Leanne Mesmer age 13. All children shall now hopefully rest in peace as beautiful little angels whose lives were tragically taken too soon." The news lady said and Bella was crying.

"Are you OK love?" Edward asked.

"Yeah it's just that that was so sad" Bella said.

"I know I know" Edward said and I probably would've cried if I could've. I still couldn't help thinking that that whole ordeal was my fault but Edward held me tighter and stroked my hair and that let me know that I was just overreacting.

I had begun to think about how long it was when I went hunting but figured I could wait another day. Edward looked at me like "don't lose control." But I knew I wouldn't I hadn't lost control in about 60 years although I never killed a human or tasted human blood I did attack one once and Edward had to pull me off of them. I guess he still has that image in his head. I knew I would never hurt Bella…physically and emotionally I couldn't do it to her and Edward. I knew I couldn't even think that I would do it.

"Hey does anyone want to play chess" I said smirking at Emmett because I had beaten him before.

"Oh it's on dwarf" he said as if to read my thoughts but know with vampiric senses. Edward smirked

"Yeah Haze you go" Rosalie said coming into the room and Emmett pulled her onto his lap as she slapped him in the face and I laughed. Alice was quick to get the chess board and I set the board up as I smirked at Emmett who glared at me.

"Wait we have to make a bet" I said and Emmett rolled his eyes.

"Fine…dwarf."

"OK shoot" I said.

"If I win I get to call you dwarf as many times as I want and you have to repeat any phrase I say with the word dwarf example. I am Hazel the dwarf." Emmett said and I raised my eyebrows and smirked.

"OK and if I win you have to do anything I say" I said and Emmett glared at me.

"It's on bitch" he said.

"Fine" I said and my siblings still sat on the couch watching the chess match as if it were a boxing ring or whatever.

"Oh and no cheating…Edward" Emmett coughed his name and Edward smirked.

"Can we just play Em I mean we all know Hayzster here is going to win so it's not really up for discussion." Rosalie said and I laughed Emmett playfully glared and shook his head at her Rosalie smirked "sorry" she said and he turned his attention back to the board.

Emmett moved his pawn forward two spaces and I moved my bishop on the all diagonal so now I was face to face with his rook only he couldn't get to me since his rook could only move forward and back (not diagonal). Emmett moved his knight forward which gave me the perfect opportunity to take one of his pawns.

"Done, done and done" I said smirking.

"We'll see about that" was all Emmett said.

"Sore loser" Alice coughed and I smirked again.

Emmett took his bishop and put it face to face with mine.

"Battles on or give up now" I said.

"Never" Emmett said.

I rolled my eyes before saying "should have thought first" and took his bishop.

"Now you are in my trap dwarf."

"Shut up" I said.

"Oh I don't have to" he said and I gritted my teeth as I could tell Edward was anticipating the game. He got really into that stuff because he was extremely competitive if you know what I mean.

My mind still drifted as it did but it wasn't in a sense that was such of present and past. I am probably sounding too formal or whatever but I was just trying to distract myself from this current battle of chess with Emmett (LOL). Sometimes I didn't really think I was meant to be Hazel Cullen. Sometimes I felt that I was supposed to be someone else in life. I felt as if maybe I wasn't meant to her here in this current year. But as everyone said life wasn't about…yeah you know. Anyways Emmett ended up losing the chess game.

"COME ON!" he shouted.

"You said I was a stupid dwarf so I used my dwarf skills…WHAT" I said and my siblings laughed.

"You just got served" Rosalie said and Emmett grumbled.

"Come on don't be such a sore loser" Edward said.

"Shut up cheater" Emmett said.

"OH GOOD GOSH SERIOUSLY!" Bella said and we laughed.

"Yes…sadly because of the stupidity of my cruel and uncaring siblings I must hide my sorrow alone." Emmett said pretending to turn away and cry.

"Really Em I think you're overdoing it" Rosalie said.

"Oh I am…I am? OK is this overdoing it" Emmett picked her up and tackled her onto the couch kissing her hungrily.

"EMMETT!" Rosalie slapped him and we laughed again.

"As usual Emmett proves his weakness in the world" Alice said.

"OH SHUT UP…why are you guys so mean" he pretended to cry I rolled my eyes and jumped onto the couch to throw on South Park which got Emmett to shut up.

The episode was where they go to this waterpark and Cartman is mad that the minorities are taking over the world and that he will be forced to live among them. It was a funny one though…one of my favorites. Sometimes I can just be a regular kid whenever I watch South Park. Even Bella liked this episode and she hates South Park like literally. Well most of my sisters do so it's not really a surprise.

After South Park we hung out and played cards I didn't play though. I watched Alice, Jasper, Emmett, & Rosalie play. Jasper and Emmett were masterminds at B.S. it was pretty awesome. It was funny because Edward would just read their minds and know what was going to happen next (who would win etc.) The sun began to set and Bella fell asleep at around 11pm.

We were still going strong because we were vampires and couldn't sleep. I found it funny though because let's say like we were just at a club or what not and a bunch of humans were there. We would be the only ones not getting drunk (or so) and still partying hard…all night. The night was my favorite time because it was so quiet and nothing really went on…no one was awake (well except for people where it was daytime like Asia and Europe and Africa).

I lay back into the pillows on the couch and watched as my siblings continued to do their thing. Edward had Bella nestled in his arms and looked at me for a split second I guessed that for once everything was finally peaceful in my loud nuthouse. That was how it felt sometimes like I was a little thing in a nuthouse with my older siblings. I guess I never really thought about it that I was the youngest because it didn't really matter here since we were all old and would (hopefully) continue to live forever as life would continue on and on. I knew that when I was eventually going to look back and see how much I had done over the course of this life and laugh.

Carlisle and Esme came in to join us and it actually had a human feeling to it in a strange sense sometimes we just acted normal. Emmett and Jasper were boxing on the video game set and it was funny watching them because the Wii people were like unbelievably strong for humans. Carlisle went on his laptop and began to work on employee profiles and how he would treat each of his patients. Alice and Esme went back to a dress design for the wedding and I put my headphones on and put the volume on zero to experiment. I found it funny but sad that I could actually still hear the slight ring of the music playing in the background.