UGH sorry guys, I forgot how to add text to the chapter xD its been such a long time since I posted again! I'M SORRY ;A; stressful year is stressful
( you're all probably fed up with hearing me say that ) I haven't felt motivated to write this.. but last night I finished chapter 8! I stayed up until half past four in the morning because I care for you guys xD.. I'm sorry if the chapter is a bit messy but I wanted to add a bit more screen time with Spain and Romano without it going over board since I want the story to be a building relationship as Spain's feeling aren't mutualyet I do please let me know if there's any mistakes! I have checked this over but yes as you all know i'm dyslexic I could of easily missed something so enjoy
I always feel nervous uploading onto fanfiction I don't know why DX asdfghjkjkl;
Chapter 8
"You need a girlfriend!" Spain voice raised with excitement.
Romano raised an eyebrow and peeked down from the newspaper.
"A what now?.." he asked.
"A girlfriend!~" Spain repeats. "Or do you prefer boys Romano?" he says tapping his chin looking up at the ceiling. Romano flushed "That's none of your business! Ugh.." he rubbed his temples annoyed. "besides I don't want a girlfriend OR a boyfriend."
Its been a week since Romano had been staying with Spain since the beating. Originally he was going to return back to his brother house but the thought sent shivers down his spine.. The thought of his brother swooning and swaying over a stupid wedding made his stomach turn.. Its not like his jealous or anything.. Or so he told himself. It was thought of getting married to Germany that bugged him. Germany hadn't personally done anything to him to make him hate him so much, and even though he hated to admit it ( well not out loud at least) he wasn't a bad person.. He was patience with his brother, and caring.. Never the less Romano couldn't seem to like him. So in end Romano choice to stay with Spain until he found himself his own house. He picked up the newspaper again to search for part time jobs while Spain kept pouting at him.
"Surly you don't mean that.. Everyone wants to fall in love!"
"Not everyone" Romano flicked through the pages.. Spain rolls his eyes and sat down on the chair backwards with his arms resting on the back of it.
"Okay, maybe not everyone but you do~" Spain smiles leaning his head arms.
Romano sighs and gives up looking for a job for the day he wasn't going to get anywhere with Spain on his case.
"Oh yeah? And what do you know about what I want Spain?"
"A lot actually~" Spain says cockily
"Trust me, you don't know anything.."
Spain inhales a deep breath and got up and went upstairs.
"Huh? Where you going Spain?" before he expected an answer he came down with his laptop "I'm gonna set you up a profile on a dating site~!"
"WHAT?!" Romano raged. "no you're not, you don't have my information"
That's when Spain smirked. "ohonhon yes I do~" Romano face palmed. "you sounded like France please don't" Spain laughs as he tapped his fingers against his keyboard silently. Romano became concerned..
"Spainnn.., you're not doing it are you?.."
Spain ignored and kept typing.
"Spain!"
He ignored and carried on writing..
Romano got to his feet "you don't even have a picture of me!" Without warning Spain got his iphone then snapped a picture of Romano. "I do now~ ah wait.. You're frowning! Right come on another one~ smileeeeeeeeeeee!"
Romano tries to snatch the phone "no!"
"oh come on Romano~ just smile its not hard"
"No Spain I don't want too!" Romano still kept trying to reach for the phone but kept failing.
"Its just a smile Romano.."
"I don't fucking care! Just give me that damn phone!.." Spain then tossed him the phone and Romano frantically started deleting it. Spain looked up and back down at the laptop. "Aww Romano no need to be so self-conscious, you're handsome."
"I don't want a picture of me all over the internet.. Or my details.."
"Hey Romano" Spain asked, blanking what he just said
"What should I put as you're sexuality?.. Women, men, or both?.."
"I'm not telling you.." Romano refuses to tell any information hoping Spain will give up.
"Fine, I'll make up your details then~" Spain chimed.
"Don't you dare.." Romano says lowing his voice dangerously.
"Sexuality.. Men~, What body type.. Hmm.. Don't care.. Ohh What age are you interested in?… 60 to 70 over~" Romano made a grab for the laptop but Spain pulled the laptop away which causes Romano to lose balance and fall straight onto his lap which lead to Spain falling backwards on the couch while the laptop flew out his hands and on the floor..
Romano face became beetroot. He can feel Spain's heartbeat against his own.. He felt Spain's hands around his waist making his heart run a marathon.
"Ohhhhh look what you doneee you broke my laptoppp!" Spain says in a childlike tell-tell manner..
"Oh shut up" Romano snaps. "Its not broken and its you're fault
for not stopping when I asked you too!"
Spain shrugged. "I guess so~ are you alright though?.."
"I'm fine!.. Can you get you're hands of me please!" he ordered.
"Ah! Sorry Romano, I held onto you so you didn't roll of the couch and hurt yourself, you're already battered and bruised enough." Spain released his hands of him and Romano rolled his way off and awkwardly pulled his top down and fixed his messed up hair. While Spain picked up his laptop and decided to give up trying to set a profile up Romano saw something that caught his attention..
"You still play guitar Spain?.
Spain looked over his shoulder and looked at his guitar sitting the corner of the room.
"Ah si.. I do " he answered..
"Thought you gave up.."
"nah just stopped for a bit.."
"What's the differences?.."
" I never give up"
Romano quit why he was ahead knowing it wouldn't get him anywhere debating his argument so he changed the subject slightly
"so why did you start playing again?" he asked. Spain smiled "Well it helps keep your mind of things you know?.. Stressful things.. I like keeping a positive mind at all times! So I'll play a song and sing!"
"I see" Romano rolls his eyes and ended the conversation.. "well I'm going to lie down.. I'm feeling tired.."
"Ah okay" Spain replied "but before you go.. Can I ask you a question?.." Romano signed, "If you must… what?.."
"What's the real reason why you aren't happy about your brother getting married?.."
As soon as the question was asked, Romano felt as if he was an criminal sitting in a chair of an dark investigation room where a rusty light would flicker on him. He desperately searched through his memory files in need to find an answer.. Not to just reply to it but to know himself.. 'The real reason?..' he wondered endlessly.
"w.. what do you mean real reason?" Romano questioned.
"You know what I mean " Spain mumbled.
Before Romano beginning to fight his corner Spain spoke before he could
"This isn't about hating Germany is it?.."
Romano pursed his lips and bit the inside of his cheeks and inhaled. He suddenly felt extremely nervous, although he still didn't quite know his reasoning.
'what is the real reason?..'
He didn't quite notice his body behaviour had given him away, but he came to realization it did as Spain came to his feet and gently put his hands around his arms..
"Romano.." his voice said smoothly.
Romano jolted at his touch and stood back a bit in hope he would let go..
"Spain.. I'm tired.. I just need to sleep.. " he says defectively.
"not until you gave me an answer"
"I don't know Spain!" Romano urged his reply..
"I..I don't know.."..
Spain's eyes tried to make contact his own.. He kept his eyes and head away from his stare.. His touch was gentle, and his closeness was unbearable. His guard was dangerously down and he can feel himself about to go into a panic attack. He still felt Spain's eyes trying to read him, with a bit of effort he pulled himself out of Spain's grip. Romano didn't want to stay in that room any longer so he turned quickly but Spain noticed
"Are you lonely Romano?" Spain's voice riddled with sadness..
Romano paused.. He didn't know to ether look back or to even answer, Spain's voice echoed the hall way again.
" b-because if you are Romano.. Y-you're not alon-"
"Spain I can't breath.." he surprisingly whispers a replies..
"What?.. You can't?.. ohh maybe you should sit down" Spain took a step forward..
"No! ..n.. no I just need fresh air I'm just going to go for a walk" He reached for his coat and headed for the door
"I thought you were tired" Spain uttered..
"I just need air now" Romano got his coat on and left before he could hear Spain's reply. As fast as he could he paced away from the house. When Spain's house was out of his view he clumsily grabbed onto a tree for support. He knew for sure he was having a panic attack. It was a feeling he felt before when he was younger.
He stood there for a bit inhaled deep shaky breaths to calm down his breathing.. Romano didn't expect Spain to question him like that.. Not at all..
He didn't think he had the brain cells to even over think like that.. But reality kicked in, Spain hadn't over thought anything.. He was kinda right.. If Italy gets married.. Where would it leave him? Would his brother ever need him?..
Romano sighed and leaned back on the tree. He stayed there for a while as he didn't feel like going back. After he had calmed down he decided to go the café down the street from Spain's house.. He had been meaning to go there for a while but since the attack his been a bit scared to go to public places…
He reached the café and with his relief it wasn't full, although he still found himself going to sit at the back of the café. It was a lot like a café you would found in Venice. Petite but full of life and detail. Walls where filled with paintings of romance and landscapes. Gazing through the window he founds himself thinking how he could of made that situation with Spain any less awkward. Not running away was one them, he wondered if Spain noticed he was running away.. It was pretty obvious.
"Damn it, damn it, damn it,"
He kept repeating this to himself in his head, almost so much he could feel himself saying it out loud.
"Romano?!."
A voice startled him. He looked over and saw the waitress he reckoned instantly.
"B-Belgium!?" he hissed quietly.
"Bella" she pouted pointing at her name tag, with that she throw her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug.
"I haven't seen you in ages! Goodness I've missed you!" his arms laid lifeless by his sides.
'God, I hate my awkwardness why can't I just hug back.'
"Um yeah like-wise.. How are you?.." he asked while she kept hold of him. She pulled away, "I'm great thank you!"
her smile suddenly subsided.
"huh?, What is it?" Romano asked.
"Oh, nothing, its just that… I was going to ask you but, you don't look great.. is anything bothering you?.."
Did she hear me talking to myself?, he wondered.. He hoped not, she didn't seem to ask who he was talking too… he then wondered if she had meant he looked bad, but he knew Belgium wouldn't say that, or ask if anything has been bothering him..
Its probably a girl thing.. Girls seem to sense things.. That scared him..
'shit..'
"No, not really" he lied, "I've moved back with Spain, due to my brother getting married.. I well just didn't want to get in his way so I moved out.. Been trying to find a job so I can earn some money to get my own place.. So yeah I've just been busy"
At first she seemed rather sceptical at first but then finally let it go she brought over the coffee he ordered and started making general chit chat, for what seems like a forever he finally felt a bit relaxed speaking to Belgium, she didn't ask questions that where related to his brother getting married. It was refreshing to not have the attention all on his brother..
"Living with Spain huh?" she says leaning back with her eyes closed. "what's it like?.."
Romano sipped his coffee. "awful, his annoying.."
She laughed, "you sound like my brother, he hates Spain.. He isn't that bad!~"
"I guess not" he sighs looking at his cup. "why do you ask anyway?" he added.
"Ah no reason" she responded. "I just think his really sweet.. And handsome, his the whole package you would want in a man.. I would of thought it would be amazing to live with him.."
He had no idea what it was, but suddenly he didn't feel so comfortable speaking to her anymore.. Something about what she said made him.. Angry at her.. Deep down his reasons where very obvious why, but his pride overcast a shadow on it.
" Sounds like a reason to me" he pointed out.. "kinda sounds like you like him"..
Oh how he wished he never said that.. It came out quite aloof, he could apologise but that's just opening a can of worms.. He really didn't want to do that, but he also didn't want Belgium to be angry at him. It wasn't long until Belgium spoke, Romano held his breath.
"W…Wha?.. You think I like Spain?.. I mean yeah of course but not like tha-" she froze in mid conversation and realization took over, she slowly looked over at him with a smirk.. "ahhh I see what's this about~"
Already on the defensive Romano protested.
"w-what o-on earth you on about?" He gulped his last bit of coffee down and stood up brushing himself causally. "well thank you for the coffee" he said quickly while putting the money down on the table.
"Ah wait Romano!" Belgium stood up and grabbed his hand.. "I'm sorry if I've made things awkward for you, I just want to let you know I'm hear to lend an ear if ya ever need too talk, kay?" she smiled tilting her head.. A small nod was given. He liked Belgium, she had always been nice to him. She never had judged or mocked Romano, he was grateful for that, she is the only person he would consider a friend..
"Thanks Bella.. Really, I'll see you soon okay?.."
"Defiantly!" she said smiling job worthy. "Please come again soo- oh wait! I just remembered" Belgium stated
"We are low on waiters and waitresses and since you're looking for a job why don't you work here?.. The pay isn't much but it's a start?!"
Romano had always been kind of clumsy, more so then his brother.. He wasn't sure if it was a wise idea to take the offer, with all the holding a lot of plates and glasses. He was pretty sure things would go wrong.. He had told Belgium he would have think about it although it seemed reasonable that he considered in accepting.. But mostly due to the fact he would rather work with someone he knew instead of having to try to get along with people..
Romano had been bad at making friends or in fact keeping them, he would get annoyed easily at people and hardly had any patience. With Belgium he figured it would be a bit easier… He felt a bit better after spending time with someone other then Spain or his Brother, it made him feel normal for at least a minute.. It wasn't as if he hated his brother or Spain nothing of the least. As Romano started to arrive at the door it opened itself. It had been opened by Spain himself. He looked relieved as if he had been waiting for Romano. Spain had let Romano walk in first then he gently turned Romano to his view..
"R-Romano I'm so sorry! I-I-I shouldn't of questioned you like that! I-I just think I'm helping but I'm not I'm just stupid! Next time jus…just tell me to shut up okay?.. I'm so sorry.."
Shocked by his out bust Romano was lost for words..
'Was he worried about me?..'..
" Look I don't expect you to say anything or forgive me, I just keep hurting you, and it isn't intentional I just want you to know that.."
Shaking his head back to reality he raised an eyebrow while taking his coat off. "W-What are you rambling about idiot?.. I just went out from some air" he says while hung his coat up on the coat rack.
"Oh, I saw Belgium, she works at the small café, there looking for more people to work there so I might consider it"
Spain's face lit up "Oh really?! That's wonderful~ I know you like Belgium~" Spain smirks and It takes Romano a few seconds to notice it..
"What's with that look?! You aren't implying what I think you're implying?"
"Well you're single she's single~ I'm just saying~"
Romano rolls his eyes while he took his shoes off
"And so are you~" Romano emphasized with a sarcastic smirk as he walked away into the living room.
"Hey!~" Spain laughed and followed him as his voice echoed down the hallway "Its not that I can't get a date, I totally can if I wanted one!"
The rest of the day was pretty normal, Spain being an idiot joking around and Romano insulting his jokes.. In all truth Romano loved this.. He liked when Spain was being stupid instead of being up and personal.. While staying with Spain, Romano has been finding it hard to not laugh at him.. ( he can't let him know he thinks his funny otherwise his head would explode ).. He wishes everyday was like this, but he knew it wouldn't last forever.. Sooner or later Spain will find someone to love, and he'll be in the way again.. And alone again..
After dinner the day seemed to go by quite quickly. Romano laid in bed staring at the ceiling. He wondered why Spain had asked him all those questions..
'Is it that obvious..'
He always thought of himself as someone is good at keeping themselves to themselves.. After a while of pondering he finally drift off into a sleep.
Wedding organs echoed the cathedral as Romano had sat watching his brother smiling like a bride staring at his husband to be.. Something didn't feel right.. The organs didn't sound like it was supposed to be for a wedding, although the melody playing was. But the notes wasn't.. each note that played where far too long. Almost so much that it started to ring in his ears.. Also he noticed Spain wasn't here… He would definitely show up for his brother's wedding, he said he would.. Now that he noticed it, no one was there.. Apart from himself, Italy, and Germany and of course the vicar..
"Repeat after me" the Vicar says in a loud voice looking up at the stain glass windows.
"I Feliciano Vargas!"…
"I Feliciano Vargas~…."
"Take thee Ludwig Beilschmidt!.."
"Take thee Ludwig Belischmidt~…"
"In exchange!.."
"In exchange~…"
"Of my brother Lovino Vargas existence!.."
"Of my brother Lovino Vargas existences~!.."
Romano's blood drained while his brother made the vow..
"n.. no…"
he tried to stand up but he couldn't. It was then he realized he was holding the rings on a light blue cushion that had gold sewing around the edges.. He tried to throw the cushion but it was like he was paralyzed and couldn't move his arms..
No.. it was like he was being controlled.. His body moved without his will.. His head slowly looked up too see his brother staring along with Germany and the vicar.. The vicar had made a hand gesture towards Romano which had made his controlled body stand.. He walked up towards his brother with the rings.. He felt as if invisible strings had been tired around his whole entire body. Italy's eyes where lifeless as he smiled at Roman as he gently put his hand on his cheek.. "Thank you for this frantello, thank you for giving up you're existence for me to be happy.. I hope you know it's the only way…"
Romano managed to speak despite not being able to move his body..
"No.. I don't want this, h-how can you do this to me?!"
Italy said nothing but stoked his face with his thumb. It was like he couldn't hear him.. He was then forced to sit down while the vicar had made giving the rings to them..
He watched as they both put the ring on each other finger.. His heart began to race..
Italy and Germany had looked at each other again and in sync they both had said.
"I do"
With that room had spun around furiously.
When it stopped he was by the side of the road where a car had speed past him which had
"Just married" at the back of it.. He was alone, or so he thought. A dark forest had creped up behind him and swallowed up any existence of a road. He stood in the middle of the forest unsure where to turn or go. But to his horror.. It was there..
The same grim reaper from before.. It started to walk up to him in a fast pase.. Romano began to ran. He didn't want to look back but he did. The reaper had fastened his pase. Romano could hear his own voice whimpering in fear.
"No, no , no please no! no!" suddenly he had felt something grab him. He didn't know what it was but it had hold of him tight. He couldn't move he fought this invisible force desperately. He could see the reaper getting closer. He struggled with all his might until the reaper had gotten close to touch him. Romano closed his eyes and let out a scream..
"Romano! Romano! Its okay wake up! Its me! Its me!"
His eyes jolted open still in shock he struggles and panics
"Romano!" A dim light had flickered on causing his eyes to dart around the room, then it met his eyes…
Spain's
His body was cradled by him holding him close.. Romano was panting as his voice trembled still.
"Shhh its okay, you're okay" he wiped his sweat away with his hand..
Romano had soft whimper.. His mind was in to much in a state of shock to act in any other way..
"What was all that about Romano? You where screaming you where almost crying! T-tell me! What's going on?"
Romano just shock his head tiredly..
"c….can't…."
"You can't what?.." Spain questioned worriedly…
"n….no more.."..
Spain lightly brushed his fingers through his hair.
"Okay.. We don't need to talk about…"
Romano had clinged onto Spain shirt tightly trying to get as close as possible.. His heart was beating out of control.. He couldn't think..
"s…stay…" Romano says in a hoarse tired voice..
"Okay" Spain had whispered.. After a few minutes Romano drifted back into a sleep in his arms..
Spain had looked down at the sleeping Romano and stoked his face
"I'm not going anywhere.."