Be CC
You can't keep calling him CC forever, you should name him. And you're lucky, he turned 12 this year and he hasn't been named yet. Hurry! Name him!
Enter name
You name him INCOMPETENT DIMWIT. That's an awful name. Who are you? A HEARTLESS WITCH?
Try again
You name him RED POKÉMON. That's better.
Examine room
You are RED POKÉMON. But your MOST CHERISHED FRIENDS call you REDDY.
You have some PRETTY NEAT interests. Like your collection of RARE BIOLOGICAL SPECIMENES contained on SPHERIC BOTTLES all over your room. Speaking of which you do seem to like BALLS, oh boy, your taste in BALLS is so much MISINTERPRETED, but you can't help but like them. You use them to store the CRITTERS you find on your way.
Among other things you may like is ADVENTURE. You always like to keep TRAVELING from TOWN to TOWN in search for new EXPERIENCES. It also helps you CAPTCHALOGING things for your SYLLADEX MODUS. And well, your more MUNDANE hobbies include GOING OUT FISHING, HUNTING, PARTICIPATING IN PAGEANT CONTEST, ROLEPLAYING, among other things.
But let's elaborate on that last one. Whenever you CHAT with your FRIENDS, you use the CHUMHANDLE compulsiveCatcher (CC) and you always like ROLEPLAY like -A wild example appeared!- this. It sometimes tends to ANNOY people.
What will you do?
Red: Check bottles
You check one of your most prized bottles. It contains a RODENT OF SOME SORT, trapped and kept alive on CRYOGENICAL GEL. It is YELLOW and legends say it's ELECTRIC.
You can (painfully) attest to the veracity of said legends. Anyway, you touch the TASTEFUL TEXTURE imprinted on the bottle, while you imagine yourself throwing it and making the critter obey your commands.
Red: Make dreams come true.
You throw the bottle to the ground. As expected, it breaks in pieces and the rodent wakes up. Alarmed, it runs at you and shocks you with HIGH VOLTAGE. How naive of you to think it will subjugate that easily.
You're knocked out on the floor, and it feels kind of COMFTY, ignoring your SECOND DEGREE BURNS. Anyway, what will you do?
Red: Rise up.
You try to get up from the floor, but actually, this is really soft, but that's not strange, because your whole floor is covered in a FUR CARPET. You sometimes like to sleep here instead of your bed. But suddenly, you remember there are things you must do, and you stand up.
The rodent is chewing on some MYSTERIOUS CABLES behind your bed, and you can't help but STARE AT IT'S ADORABLENESS.
Red: Take rodent
Nope! You're smarter than that to take an electric rodent chewing on connected cables with your bare hands. Instead you search on your SYLLADEX for an EMPTY BOTTLE.
Red: Examine Sylladex
You always use your CAPTCHADEX modus, which allows you to store items in order of TYPES. You could go hours and hours talking about the different types there is, the
relationships between them, and effectiveness, but let's cut it for a second ok?. You search in the GLASS/WIND category and there you go! #354 EMPTYBOTTLE. You then remember your Captchadex also offers information about what is stored.
"#354 EMPTYBOTTLE
GLASS SPHERE item
HT 4 in
WT .2 lb
A containing item of some sort. Legends said that it can hold its volume in any substance
GLASS/WIND type
Evolves from GLASSHARD. Evolves into EMPTYBOX"
Yup, that's it. USELESS TRIVIA, but for some reason you seem to be addicted to it. Better get going to catch that little critter.
Red: Catch the rat
You turn to the electric mouse hanging from the cables. It sees you and you see it. Bottle in hand you smirk at it and then SWOOOSH! A single throw and the little fella is inside the bottle. Suddenly, a cryogenical fluid encases the rodent and makes it fall in the hands of Morpheus, that is, until you need it again.
You pick up the bottle and captchalogue it. This is the part you like the most, reading the trivia:
"#092 RAYSQUEAK
THUNDER RODENT lusus
HT 3 in
WT 1 lb
This is one of the most common lusus. It holds enough voltage to make a growing child an idiot
ELECTRIC type
Evolves from SPARKSQUEAK. Evolves into THUNDERSQUEAK"
After learning this (unnecessary) piece of information, you take out the bottle containing the Raysqueak and you allocate it on your Strife Deck under the BALLKIND modus. Whelp, let's continue with the business here.
Red: Allocate more critters
To be honest, it's better to be prepared. After all, today you will have to kill your Guardian. You take another 5 creatures in bottles, and when you try to take another one, the Strife Deck rebounds it. You forgot this type of modus is limited to 6.
Red: Engage in silly hijinks
Not now you dumbass. You have to pack the present for Umineko and send it. Luckily you have already captchalogged it all wrapped. You like to be prepared for anything.
Let's try and send it from the PC. You open your Captchadex and search for it. Next, you run the "someone's PC's" program on your desktop and... Well what do we have here? Those are your friends opening a memo on the Pesterchum! Let's check it out.
Red: Open memo
toymakerScareless (TS) opened a memo on board WHY DO WE BOTHER
TS: LEt's be quick... i'm on my school bathroom rite now...
TS: THis memo was for choosing who's with who...
TS: NOthing more nothing else...
TS: WEll till i get out of here, then you can use it for whatever you want...
capitolRevolutionist (CR) and compulsiveCatcher (CC) responded to memo
CR: Phhhhhffff hahahahahahahaha
CC: -A wild CR and CC appeared!-
CC: -But TS seems to be busy. What will you do-
TS: YOu dumb fools... stop this charade this instant...
CR: -u- Ok, ok soldier, rest. That's more info that we needed
CR: CC -we decide to run-
CC: -You escaped safely-
CC: hiiiii thereeee guyss :3
CC: do yalredy know whatcha giving to Umiii? :D
TS: REddy stop... this memo is for discussing more important things
TS: BUt yeah
CR: Me too. That idiot doesn't deserve shit.
CR: BTW, where's the idiot?
TS: WHo cares... we have here 50%+1, so we can decide stuff.
CC: guyssss its not the same without Umiii D:
CC: umiiis smart, and kewl and lol and kewt and yeah
CR: -_-
TS: LEt's make haste guys... topic is... who will be the server to whom...
TS: FIrst volunteers, then sacrifices
CR: You don't say that word ever! You hear me?!
TS: SOrry... my bad
TS: AArg... this is getting out of topic... focis people
TS: *FOcus
CR: Well, I don't have any problem with being your server/client, if you can spare me from being Umineko's
CR: =_= dude gets me on my nerves
CC: ooooooooh ohhhhhh i wanna be with Umiii :D puhleeeesssss?
TS: DO you want to be Umis server Reddy?... ANy objections?
CC: yyyyyuuuuuuuuppppp :3333333
CC: For me it's fine.
TS: ALlright... then it's settled. Reddy's Umi server...
CC: -Congratulations! Your CC evolved into Umineko's server!-
TS: REddy... stop those RP ways you have... you're derailing the conversation...
CC: sorry ;3
TS: LEt's focus on Umi ok... Who will be his/her client...
CR: Sheesh soldier, I told you I don't want anything to be with that bastard.
TS: DOn't try to push me into it... i'm not too fond of what s/he does or her ways...
TS: LIke have you seen his/her fanfics... she kills all of us
TS: ANd not in a nice way either... that person is a maniac...
CR: Reddy, dear, you should decide, please?
CC: aaaawight! ummm who should be?
CC: uuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhh
CC: -Go CR!-
TS: REddy decided...
TS: IT's 50%+1 so you're Umi's server...
CR: ... dear Reddy, could you please go and do whatever you like to do while adults talk?
TS: IT's not over yet...
TS: REddy don't go... please...
CC: -CC is confused-
CC: -CC hit himself-
CC: awiieeeee :'(
CR: *Mumbles*
CR: Fine, fine, I'll stay.
TS: THanks (pleasedon'tkillme)
TS: NExt one is you Reddy... who will be your server...
CR: ... I realized something
TS: ... CAre to explain...
CR: Just by positioning a single person's server and client you can fit the rest so everyone has a server and client.
CR: By the arrangement you made for Umineko, the only possible options are these
CR: Red's Umineko server
CR: Umineko is my server
CR: TS I'm your server
CR: And TS is Red server
CR: I made a diagram on Paint. Wanna look at it?
CR: img9 . imageshack . us / img9 / 9210 / diagramsm . png
CR: Shit, this thing is really picky with the links
CR: Just erase the spaces between words ok?
CC: oooooooooooohhhhhh whos *Asshub*
CR: o_o Noone Reddy.
CR: Now go to do your business dear.
TS: DOn't
CR: Aw shut up
CR banned CC from responding to memo
Red: Continue your business
Whelp, that was a really confusing conversation, but at least you have what you want right? Just being with your beloved friends and play a game...
You're really hopeless but that's not anyone's business. You resume the thing you were doing.
What were you at again?... Oh right! The present!
Red: Check progress bar from Sfrub
And there you go again, sidestepping from the whole issue like a champ. You check Sfrub progress bar and yup, it's almost filled up. You're sure excited. It means you're gonna see Umi in no time. So why don't you tell Umi the good news?
Red: Pester Umineko
You have the conversation we already read from chapter 1.
And hey, the response wasn't that bad. I mean, Umi didn't cursed you like the last time, or wrote a fanfic detailing your painful death, or both. The only bad thing is that your laptop is on the ground, broken. You're sure your auto-responder took your place without Umi knowing. Good thing it learns from watching you chat. Anyway, it seems that only the screen is dead, everything else is fine. Hope that disc didn't got any scratch.
Red: Look around for a solution
In your room there's a spherical shaped chest. You open it and its contents get scattered on the floor. You have:
-An ENCYCLOPEDIA OF FAUNA "OAK'S NATURAL LORE AND OTHER SHIT MADE UP BY 10 YEARS OLD"
-WORMS ON A FRESH DIRT BALL
-4 DIFFERENT SHIRTS
-AUGMENTED REALITY GO-GOGGLES
-RUNNING SHOES
What will you take?
Red: Equip Running Shoes
You take off your actual shoes and put on these babies. Man, they were really hyped, and really were worth it. They have a mechanism where you can press the heel for a second and poof, they reach high speed due to the pressurized air on them.
As it could be expected, you test them. As it could be expected, your room now has your silhouette stamped on a wall. Let's not abuse them.
Red: Captchalogue Oak's encyclopedia
This thing right here is one of your most prized non biological possessions. A signed copy of "Oak's Natural Lore and Other Shit Made up by 10 Year Olds". It contains a detailed analysis of almost every biological being seen by men. Some people say it's just a crappy collection that get's shittier as the pages go on, but you know the truth. How, if not thanks to this knowledge fountain, would you ever found out about the dangerous DUSTBUN, the beast that roams DUSTY CORNERS in search of fresh human meat? Or SNOCONES, looking like innocent ice-cream in the middle of the JUNGLE, but when you try to eat them, they eat your tongue? Yeah, this book has saved your life countless times. Better captchalogue this thing.
Red: Store everything else
Wait! Are you sure you're not forgetting something?
Red: Captchalogue worms
No! Not that you IMBECILE!
Red: Equip Augmented reality go-goggles
Yeah, that's what you need. You equip the goggles, then connect them to your Laptop. Huzzah! Now you can display your screen on your goggles. Now, what you were doing.
Red: Send Umineko the present.
You open (again) the "Someone's PC's" Application. It lets you send anything from one PC to other, and the receiver will get it like a zipped file. When he/she unzip it, ta-dah! the object will materialize in front of them.
You take out the present and start scanning it with the Goggles analyzer. A progress bar appears on the corner of your screen. The present is not that heavy so it will take a few seconds.
Meanwhile you check Sfrub progress bar and you notice both the present and the game will be ready at the same time. You're sure Umi will like both things happening at the same time. And 10, 9, 8...
Y'know, better be another person for a moment.