A Fallen Star (Kira Yamato) Entry Seven

Yay! xD See Blitz12? I can be fast!

Anyway, here's the next chapter. For all of those people wondering, as much as I hate Flay, she still has normal appearances. Unfortunately, in my opinion. As the story procedes, she actually has a purpose. (Gasp!)

I just wanted to thank those who take time to review, and it means a lot to me. :3

So, on that note, R & R!! And don't be shy about asking any questions!

"They say that blood is thicker than water. Maybe that's why we battle our own with more energy and gusto than we would ever expend on strangers."
David Assael

ENTRY SEVEN: NO RETREAT

She had to do this.
In her mind she knew this was probably the most stupid thing she could do, but her heart didn't care. Her friends have always told her that it was easy for her heart to control her emotions.
It seemed as if the Ecran had reacted to her thoughts; the second the cockpit had closed the machine was on and ready to go. The thought about rewriting the data disappeared, replaced by the adrenaline pumping in her veins.
Her breathing became uneasy as she pulled back the on the lever beside her seat, yelling at the workers to open the hatch. They did, and after arguing with Miriallia, Mai launched.
"Here we go!"
The thrill of the world running past her and her Gundam made her heart jump, and she couldn't help but smile, but it fell once she saw the reality in front of her.
"Kira!"
"Mai?" She heard him question.
She raised her head to the comlink above her, knowing the Ecran's signal would only reach the Strike, and smiled once she saw Kira on the screen.
"Need some help?"

"What the hell? Another one?" The silver haired boy snapped, confused and frustrated at the same time.
Nicol sighed at his impatience.
Only the other three Zaft pilots, and a certain nosy mechanic, could hear their conversation.
"I thought there was only supposed to be five of them!" - Dearka
"I've never seen it before..." Athrun mumbled.
"It's called the Ecran."
Everyone focused on the Blitz, and Nicol knew that he had only made them more puzzled.
"We don't have time for this now!"

"What the hell do they think they're doing, sending out the Ecran like this?" Hoffman snapped.
Halberton slammed his fist on his armrest, anger plain on his face. "Damn!"

The fight continued.
Mu and Dearka; Kira and Yzak; Nicol and the remaining Eighth Fleet ships.
Mais' heart dropped when she realized who was left. Out of all the people she could've fought, it had to be him: her own flesh and blood.
"Damn you naturals!" Athrun yelled, constantly firing his beam rifle.
The Ecran danced around the Aegis, doing its best to dodge the shots. Mai knew she didn't have the courage to fight him; the throbbing in her throat told her so.
"So, the Earth Forces have more of these murderous machines..." he mumbled.
Her eyes widened, and she looked to the screen, only to see it was off. She continued to search the cockpit, until she found what she was looking for.
She knew she shouldn't have been able to hear her beloved brothers' voice.
"Mew?"
"Mewmo!" Mai hissed, quickly pulling on a lever to make the dodging games continue.
The small black robot had opened one of its compartments and plugged itself into the Ecran's computer. It had hacked its way into the Aegis system, creating an instant one-way radio conversation.
"You're all beginning to bug me!" she heard Mu yell.
Athrun shot again, but he took another approach, shooting where the Ecran would be instead of where it was. She ducked, as if she knew his move before he made it, and that confused him.
"How the hell... You don't fight like a natural!"
Mai began to shake, not losing her control on the Ecran even once. Mewmo looked at her.
"This was a horrible, horrible mistake Mewmo..." Mai whimpered. "I should never have done this... I should have stayed..."
Stayed? Some part of her mocked, so we can sign autographs and wait impatiently for brother to return?

She shook her head, loose tears floating in her helmet.
"Damn naturals... this war... My sister's dead because of you!!"
Her eyes widened; her heart stopped, and her breathing became heavy. One of her many fears had come true.
He thinks I'm dead?
"Athrun!" a familiar voice called. "You have to calm down!"
Nicol.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, brother..."
"You can't keep this up!" Kira yelled as he fought the Duel.
For the first time, she had let her guard down, and in that small moment Athrun had destroyed her rifle. She froze.
"Mai! Are you okay?" Mai looked up slowly to the screen, seeing a worried teenage girl staring back at her. "If it's too much for you, come back to the ship!"
Her words etched into Mai's brain.
Was her friend telling her she was a coward? Maybe that's exactly what she was, unable to protect her friends because she was afraid to hurt her brother. Unable to protect her brother because she was afraid to hurt her friends. She was pathetic; she was not right for this.
But did she really believe in kill or be killed?

"Look, big brother!"
Athrun Zala, age eleven, turned around to look at his sister. She ran up to him, laughing and smiling, so he couldn't help but smile back.
They were at a beach several miles from their home, on Junius 7. A small cliff lead to a forest, and a mile away their parents waited for them to come so the family picnic could begin.
The twins were dressed for the occasion, Mai in a small white dress and a hat given to her mother, and Athrun in a plain shirt and shorts. They went to the beach almost every Sunday in the summer.
Mai brought her closed hands up to him, and opened her palms. A bright pink seashell glimmered in the sunlight.
"Isn't it pretty?" she asked him. He nodded.
"We should go back."
"Okay!"

Her brother fired again, and instead of dodging, she slammed her shield into the Aegis torso. This move only knocked him back.
She wouldn't let him destroy the ones she fought for, but she also wasn't going to let him or his team get hurt either.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a Zaft ship head straight towards the Earth Alliance, firing in all the directions.
Is it sacrificing itself? Mai asked herself.
Something else caught her attention; she and Athrun were getting to close to Earth.
"No..."
Mai knew the Aegis wouldn't last the gravitational pull, and she wouldn't let him die.

So their game began.
She flew away from him, away from Earth, and headed towards the Vesalius. Not getting too close was the plan. It was almost like a game of tag they had played when they were younger.

That made her smile sadly.
"Damn you!" Mu yelled again.
"Stop running away, coward!"
Athrun shot again, and the Ecran spun out of the way, still leading the Aegis closer to the Zaft ship.
Mai reached above her, and started pressing buttons according to her plan. She was about the pull the lever, but she heard a voice through Athruns comlink that made her stop.
"The Gamow, the - Athrun!" Nicol called, and his warning made Athrun turn around.
"No!"
She was lucky that the Ecran was built lighter than the Aegis, because that made it faster and more agile. The Ecran sped around the other Gundam and blocked its path, holding a beam saber between them.
"Move, damn it!"
"I won't let you die!"
A light to the left of her chair began to flash, gaining her attention. The Menelaos had released the refugee shuttle right in the middle of battle. Mai didn't have long to think about it.
"Damn! That's as long as I can go," Mu cursed, retreating to the Archangel.
A message appeared on her target screen in front of her, ordering her to retreat as well, but she ignored it.
Athrun tried to get past her, and like last time she stopped him. The saber slashed at the Aegis, destroying its left arm. Knowing he shouldn't continue, her brother cursed before heading back to the Vesalius.
"Go ahead and hate me," she whispered. "At least you're safe."
A large explosion regained her attention from the Aegis; the Gamow was gone.
"Captain Zalmen!" Nicol cried.
Mai buried her guilt as she tore herself away from the destruction. It was time for her to head back to the Archangel; The Ecran was getting low on power.
She got there on time to watch Mu hook on to the ship as it prepared for atmospheric interphase. As she did the same, she noticed the Strike wasn't with them.
"Where's Kira?" she muttered.
She saw he was still battling the Duel.
"Where are you, kid?" Mu shouted.
She heard Kira's battle as she watched it from a distance. The Menelaos was already gone.
"You're finished!" Yzak growled.
"You won't defeat me!"

Mai was safe, Mu was safe, but Kira hadn't made it time. And he wasn't going to make it back to the ship before it hurdled towards Earth.
Mu knew that, too. "Why'd you do it, kid?"
"Kira!" she cried.
"Don't worry; I'll be fine."
The Duel continued to shoot, and Kira sped around him. He kicked off the Duel to gain extra speed as he headed towards the Archangel with the others. Yzak raised his rifle towards the fleeing Strike, but stopped when something got in the way.
"That's the --!"
"No! The shuttle from the Menelaos!"
"What is this?" she heard Yzak question.
"Don't do it!"
"They're only civilians!"
But before Kira and Mai could do anything, Yzak fired, and the shuttle exploded.
"No..." Her thoughts were lost when Kira's cry came over her radio.
"NOOO!!"

Mai couldn't stop her tears from falling as she watched him fall. It was like her heart had shattered, her blood froze, and her breathing was heavy. Her hands started trembling on the levers they were resting on.

"I guess it was my will to protect."


This war...

"Mai, calm down!"
"Mother; mother was there! She - she can't -!"
"Please, stop crying..."
"Oh brother, J- Junius 7! It's -"
"I know! I know..."


"I don't understand how you can be so happy when there's a war going on!"

There are so many people dying...

"What does your heart tell you to do?"
"Your words don't help me very much, Lacus..."


I must stop this killing; no matter what it takes.

She closed her eyes, before making herself a promise.
"For everything I've ever believed in!"

Mai opened them again, and even though she didn't know it, they weren't the same. The irises were a dark blue at the top, and became lighter near the bottom.
Her seed had broken.
The Ecran detached itself from the Archangel, and sped towards the falling Strike.
"Ensign Hitamaru, come back here!" Marrue shouted.
Once she was close, her Gundam was surrounded by the same red light, but she continued to push forward.
"What are you doing, kid?" - Mu
The Ecran reached out and held on to the Strike, and they both fell towards the Earth.

"This is Alaska," he explained, poking a blue coloured area on a map behind him. "And this is our location." He dragged his finger to the red area of the map.
Mu sighed. "We couldn't have picked a worse place to land; were smack dab in Zaft controlled territory."
"There wasn't much choice." Marrue muttered. "We were lucky that Ensign Hitamaru did what she did, as reckless as it was. Most likely Kira would not be with us if she didn't."
"She saved his life."
"How are they doing?" she asked.
"Mai woke up a while ago, but I think she went back to sleep. I don't blame the poor girl; that was tough for her first battle."
"You think?"
"Yeah, well... the doctor wouldn't let me go see how she was doing..."
Marrue chuckled. "I see."
"Kira still has a high fever. It's strange..."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, Kojiro said something that's been bothering me..."
"What?"
Mu hesitated before answering. "She wouldn't come out right away when she brought the Ecran and the Strike back, so they had to force the cockpit open, and..."
"And?"
"You know, you're asking a lot of questions."
Marrue sighed, "Just answer."
"He said she didn't notice anyone around her at first, but just muttered, 'I'm sorry.' When he finally got her attention, and she looked up, her eyes were like nothing he's ever seen before. Like they were dead."

"Big Brother!"
Her eyes shot open and she gasped for breath. The dream still fresh in her mind.
It had been the exact dream as before: a young Mai wandering through a dead city.
Mai rolled on her side, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs. She closed her eyes before taking a deep breath. Tears from her dream rolled down her cheek to her pillow, and she wiped them away. Moments like that was when she wanted her mother the most.
When she was young, a lot of nights were interrupted by nightmares. She'd wake up and start crying to herself, and before she knew it, her mother would already be comforting her. It had been as if no matter what the distance, her mother knew when Mai needed her.
But she was gone.
Part of her felt empty now that her brother thought he had lost her, too. It broke her heart to know how much pain she was putting him through.
Mai decided to check on Kira, who had been asleep since they landed on Earth. She couldn't remember much of what happened after the shuttle had exploded, but she woke up in the hospital wing and the doctor explained where the Archangel was. She convinced him she was fine, and went back to her room. Mai really had been fine, but once she spent some time thinking about everything, her fever crept back and she fell asleep again.
She remembered something. Sitting up and looking back to her pillow, she found what she was looking for; what she had been staring at before she fell asleep. It was half hidden under the pillow.
Sadly, she stared at the pictures in the open locket.
On the left was her and her brother on their twelve birthday, both smiling and laughing as Junari tried to take their picture. The other picture was of their mother in a hospital bed, holding two newborn children in her arms.
She closed it slowly before placing it back around her neck and hiding it under her uniform.

"So, as I said, despite his fever there's no sign of infection, and no internal damage either."
Mai only half listened to the doctor explaining things to the others. She was sitting on a bed in the hospital wing, across from Kira's bed. Her back was against the wall and she was hugging her knees. She watched as Flay dabbed his forehead with a wet cloth.
Miriallia, Tolle, Sai and Kuzzy stood around the doctor as he sat at his desk, his arms crossed.
"Right now, we can't do much more than giving him liquids and trying to lower his body temperature."
"That's it?" Sai questioned.
The doctor nodded. "Well, this is the first time I've ever had to give medical treatment to a Coordinator. I don't claim to be an expert when it comes to diagnosing his symptoms. However, what I do understand is that their physical functions are far greater than ours." He paused, and in that time Mai knew that Mir had turned to her. "So, if I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about it."
"But still..." Sai argued.
"He may look the same as the rest of us," the doctor continued, but his internal capabilities are completely different.
Even though she barely knew him, his constant rambling about their differences made her head throb.
"A body that possesses greater strength," she said, gaining everyone's attention. "And a mind capable of gaining more knowledge." Seeing their reaction, she smiled softly. "Am I right?"
"Exactly," the doctor agreed. While he continued to talk, Mir came to sit beside her friend. "No disease will develop in that system. Sure, if he gets shot he'll die, and he may at times be confined to a bed with fever, but the chances of that happening to him is far less than to any of us."
"You okay?" Mir asked Mai quietly.
Mai nodded slowly. "I will be."
"Did you hear how high the temperature got in their cockpits?" - Doctor
He went on for a couple more minutes, but was soon interrupted by Mu from outside the room.
"La Flaga here; I'm coming in."
Once he was inside, he stopped and stared at everyone, since no one said anything to him.
"Ahh... Is there something I should know?" he wondered.
Mai smiled at him when they made eye contact, laughing to herself. Mu raised an eyebrow.
"No, no," the doctor said. "Nothing's wrong. I was taking the time to explain to these young people..."

Her head started to bob, and she flinched awake. It only took her a couple more seconds to close her eyes again.
Mai was the only one left after everyone else was gone. The doctor told them to leave Kira alone, but she stayed to keep an eye on him. Like he had when they first met. She had been there for several hours already.
"Meeeeewwww..." The robot cat whined.
Mai looked at it through the corner of her eye, seeing Mewmo crouched down and staring up at the bedpost. A small green and yellow bird watched her wave her tail.
Miriallia had explained that his close friend had made the bird for Kira. Its name was Birdy.

She hugged her knees, resting her head on her knees.

Birdy was the exact robotic animal Athrun had made for his friend. She knew that, but no matter how hard she searched her memories, there was nothing.
"Birdy?" It sounded, and Mewmo hissed at it.
Mai smiled.
When she turned back to Kira, their eyes met, and her smile only widened.
"Good morning," she said happily, walking over to his beside.
"M-Mai?" he stuttered.
It would take him a moment to get used to his voice again. She had done that, too.
"Yep. The one and only."
Kira tried to sit up, but Mai quickly pulled him back down.
"You can't get up yet, Kira; you still need your rest. You've been out for a while."
He nodded slowly. "Where... Where am I?"
"The hospital wing; you were unconscious when we landed on the ship. Well, I didn't last long either..."
"We? So then --"
"Yeah. We landed on Earth last night, in the desert."

"Huh? Kira's already regained consciousness?"
Tolle nodded. "Yeah, it happened just a little while ago."
"They think he's okay, so he's been transferred back to his room." Sai explained as well. "Mai told us when she came to get his meal."
"Really..." Mir muttered, and she smiled slightly.
As if on cue, the door opened, and a peppy Mai walked in holding two empty food trays. Mewmo followed shortly after her owner walked into the room, and floated over to Mir.
"Hi, guys." She said.
"Hey, Mai," Mir answered first. The others said there hello's shortly after.
"You four on a shift change?"
They nodded.
"How's Kira?" Mir asked.
Still smiling, she started to fill an empty glass with water from the cooler on the wall. "One thing's for sure, he has his appetite back. Other than that he seems all right. The doctor told him to stay in bed today, so I'm bringing him some water."
Tolle chuckled. "You seem really cheerful."
"Yeah, well, unlike you guys, I can't really do much until a battle rolls around. I'm happy to have something to do, that's all."
"You must be tired," said Sai. "You spent most of the night be Kira's side."
Mai flinched slightly, and hoped no one would notice.
It was almost as if she could hear Miriallia smirking, and she glared at the second glass.
"I-I'll be fine. As I said, I have nothing else to do."
And I feel responsible as well... she thought, but she kept that to herself.
"You should rest; I'll take that to Kira."
Mai turned around to the new voice, only to see Flay suddenly behind her. She wasn't smiling, but she wasn't glaring at either. Mai hadn't seen her when she walked in.
"Um, I'm fine. Really..."
Flay didn't let her finish and took one of the glasses from her hand. "I insist. Besides, it's vital that he gets better as quickly as possible."
Vital?
Mai watched her turn around. "Okay then…"
She could tell everyone else was as confused as she was. Sai stood and grabbed onto Flays' retreating figure. "Now wait just a minute --"
"What?" Flay snapped, spinning around to glare at him.
Immediately, Sai removed his hand. Her reaction had shocked him. "Well, nothing really, but -"
"Look Sai," she interrupted, "our relationship was something decided by my father. As you can see, he's no longer around." Flay turned away.
Mai only had a small idea of what was going on; Mir had filled her in on most things.
Flay gave him a small and sad smile. "It was only a verbal agreement: our situation has totally changed since then! So that shouldn't tie us down any longer."
She turned and walked out of the room, and into hall.
"F-Flay, I really don't --"
Too late, she was already gone.
Sai, out of words, just stared after her. Sadly, Mai turned away, feeling something tug at her heart.
She had no idea what it was.

She sighed.
Sleeping hadn't worked. She had tried to see how Kira was doing, but something stopped her from entering the room. After that, she had tried her laptop, and couldn't focus. So she tried the last thing she could think of.
Her new toy.
It wasn't exactly a toy rather than a large suit of fancy coloured armor, but it would do.
The Ecran's' system was a little different than the Strikes'. The part she'd enjoy the most was that she could reprogram this one herself.
She yawned and stretched her arms out in front of her. She had spent at least an hour typing away.
"Hey kid!" someone called.
Mai flinched; she had been in her own little world for the longest time. Kojiro's voice seemed almost foreign.
Holding on to the edge of the cockpit, she pulled herself out to answer. Once she was standing on the edge she quickly tightened her grip. The Ecran cockpit was high, and there was gravity again. One wrong move and she'd fall to her doom.
"Yeah?" she answered.
She watched Kojiro raise his hand to show her something. She saw it was a folded garbage bag.
"Mind giving me a hand?"

Kojiro had asked for her help to clean out the Strike's cockpit, because he couldn't find anyone else who wasn't busy. When they got there he had complained about how messy Kira was; Mai giggled.
As she held the bag open, Kojiro began to throw the trash inside. Mai was amazed how right he had been; Kira was very messy.
"That's strange..." Kojiro mumbled after a while.
Mai tilted her head a little. "What? What's strange?"
He reached inside, pulling something out of the cockpit. He showed it to her and she took it from his hands.
It was a small, paper flower.

Miriallia had told her about Junius 7.
Not everything, Mai guessed, but she told her how they had been there, and how they sent out several bundles of paper flowers. She told her that because of her mother, and Mai thanked her for it.
Mai twirled the flower between her fingers as she wondered what the meaning of the paper really was. Once she reached Kira's room, she'd asked him what it meant.
She pressed the button on Kira's door; she had decided to knock before going in.
"Kira?"
"Yeah?"
She opened the door and walked inside. Kira smiled from his bed.
It was hard on her to smile back.
"Kojiro found this in the Strike; I told him I'd bring it to you," she explained.
Kira stood, and Birdy flew off his shoulder and landed on the desk. Mewmo was still with Mir.
"Birdy!"
"It has to be yours, right?" she continued. She watched the bird tilt its head. "No one else really has access to the Strike. I do, and Kojiro does, but I think that's it."
He still didn't answer, so she looked up at him. Her half-smile fell.
Kira was shaking as he slowly walked towards her.
"Kira?" she questioned. Still no answer. "Are you okay?"
He reached out to her hand and touched the flower.
"O-oh yeah..." He took the flower and turned away. "Thank... thank you."
She tilted her head and walked around him so he was facing her again. His hair covered his eyes.
"Is something wrong, Kira?" she reached out to touch him, but stopped herself.
A tear fell of his cheek and to the floor.
"Kira?"
"That little girl..." he muttered. His shaking increased. "I couldn't... I couldn't save her..."
Mai's eyes widened a little, and she felt the tears gather in her own eyes. She finally understood.
The flower. The small girl who gave it to him; the escape shuttle. Yzak and the Duel.
"Kira..."
Suddenly, he collapsed on his knees, and in response Mai quickly fell to help him. Kira clutched his stomach as if he was going to be ill. Mai felt so helpless. She didn't want to see him like this. Not him; not anybody.
"Kira... Kira, please." She whimpered, and a tear fell from her own eyes. "You... we tried our best."
Kira slowly looked at her, and for the first time she saw the horror in his eyes.
And before she knew it, her arms wrapped around him, and she let him cry. Her tears were falling for many reasons, but at that moment, they were falling for him.

What do you do when everything you believe in is suddenly gone? Do you give up or do you continue fighting? What else was I supposed to do, while my family was slowly being destroyed?"
Athrun Zala