Hello :) Finally I come back with a new chapter for you :) Sorry it took me so much, but recently I had a lot of things on my head. I hope you'd like it ;)

It's wonderful, wonderful life

Craig quietly slipped inside immersed in darkness flat and without switching on the lamp he threw the keys on the nearest future and entangled himself from the jacket. He kicked out the shoes in the way to bedroom and on tiptoes approached the bed, didn't want to wake up his boyfriend. He glanced toward the door of bathroom, knowing he should take a shower and change into clean pajamas, but he was so tired and sure he'd wake up before John Paul, he decided just to strip off from his clothes and slip under the quilt in boxers. He was in the half way with trousers, when he heard move on the bed and moment later the bed lamp has been switched off and his boyfriend was already sitting on the bed, facing him, full wake up. He made the most remorseful mine he could as he got murderous look from the man, who was a step from strangle him.

'You had a nice day?' Craig asked him with stupid grin, which only irate John Paul more.

'Oh yes, I had.' He said coldly. 'For all fucking day I was wondering where the hell is my boyfriend and why he has switched off his mobile phone. And when my Prince Charming finally came back in the middle of night, he's totally drunk!' He snapped, feeling a strong smell of whiskey in his nostrils.

'I just drank four drinks. It's almost nothing.' He said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

'I was worrying about you.'

'I needed to sort out few things.' He replied evasively.

'You could at least tell me, you're fine.' John Paul stared at him hurt. 'What's the point in living together, if you have secrets and seems to not think about me as a part of your life.'

'It's not like that, John Paul.' He argued.

'Oh, really? I'll see something different, Craig. Maybe I moved into your flat too quickly.' He said quietly and turned toward man with his back as he laid down on the bed.

'If you weren't important for me, I'd never go for a meeting with doctor Ferrer and surely not talk with this idiot and let him straighten few things out…Sometimes ignorance seemed to be blissful.' He slipped under the quilt with heavy sigh, making John Paul looked at him above the shoulder.

'Why you didn't tell me you're going to meet with her?'

'Cause I wasn't ready to go there with you?' He sighed once again, when John Paul finally turned toward him, concern written over his face. 'I needed to sort some things out alone…Don't make this mine, John Paul. It's not like I'm not trusting you or whatever you think. I just couldn't go there with you today…But I can promise you, if you give me a little time, I'll tell you everything.' He took a hold of his hand. 'Okay?' He looked straight into his eyes with hope. 'Don't tell me you want to end everything between us.'

'I'm not.' John Paul replied quietly. 'I'm glad you met with doctor and Spike and I hope you solved your all problems, although I can't say I'm happy because you don't want share anything with me. Let me finish, Craig.' He lift his hand, when Craig opened his mouth. 'I know you'd tell me everything when you'd be ready for it and I respect it. The most important for me is to know you're feeling better and it's the end of your nightmares.' He said softly, squeezing his hand. 'That's what matters me. If you need to meet with doctor alone, I'm fine with that, if it's going to help you. But just let me know you're okay, Craig, not slip out from our flat when I'm sleeping and doesn't contact with me for all day. I was really worrying about you.'

'I know. I'm sorry.' He kissed slightly his fingers. 'It's just very hard for me sometimes to remember I'm not living alone anymore…You know, I've never needed to inform Chubby when I was late.' He smirked slightly and even John Paul smiled slightly. 'Sorry.'

'I'll forgive you this time, but don't do it, once again.' He kissed him shortly on the lips and moved away slightly when Craig almost snuggled into him. 'But one more thing, Craig.' The man glanced at him unsurely. 'You're going to bathroom and take a shower. You're stinking.' John Paul screwed his nose and chuckled slightly when Craig slapped him on the arm.

'I'm not!'

'You're Craig Dean. Even your cat smells better.' He grinned.

'I even can't lie in my own bed.' He snorted and with growl stood up, when John Paul rolled on their bed with a quiet laugh. Sometimes he really wanted to give him a really good slap on the bum.

'I didn't expect you're going to visit me here.' Spike said quietly, nervously moving on his chair.

'Me either.' Craig replied, staring at him intensively. 'I'd never think I'm going to see your stupid face once again.' Spike looked down at his hands.

'Life can surprises us.' He mumbled and unsurely glanced at man who without words stood up. So that's it, he thought. He gave up and wasn't going to talk with him anymore. He could guess it. He smiled sadly to himself and stay there for a little longer, before he decided there's no point in sitting any longer. Besides he was going to have a meeting with doctor Ferrer for one hour, so he could close himself in the room and prepare in head good answers for her.

He winced when white plastic cup landed in front of him and as he jerked his head up surprised, he saw Craig standing above him in hand keeping his own coffee. He again sat in front of him, and slowly sipping coffee, watched him intently.

'You thought I was going out.' Craig broke the silence as the first, a little smirk on his face. 'Nah, it cost me too much to come here, to run away like the last coward.'

'That's a good thing, I think.' He shrugged, not sure what to say.

'Yea, I'm brave contrary to you.' He added as he caught his stare. 'So are you going to share with me why you tried end your poor life by overdosing, or you want to keep your 'sweet' secret for yourself?' He asked ironically, feeling like every muscles in his body tensed.

'I had my reasons.' He replied evasively, making other man snort.

'I know you had, but what kind of reasons you could have to try kill yourself? Doing that you deceived yourself and all motives which were all the time pushing you to get Mitchell and let him pay for the all murders he committed…Suddenly any of them don't bother you anymore?'

'It's not like I didn't lost anything.' He snapped in response.

'Okay, you lost the job you love, I can understand you're angry and it made you upset …But still you had a chance to come back to force for few years. I can try to do everything to let you back to job as quickly it's possible and help you find some job for now.' He offered. 'It's not the end of world. Not a good reason to kill yourself.'

'I thought world would be better without me.' He said quietly, avoiding his stare. 'You had enough problems because of me.'

'Well, so information number one for you, you didn't help us.' He said irate. 'Can you imagine what the hell I was feeling when I saw you half dead on the bed? It's not like this image is going to leave my mind in one moment.'

'I didn't think you suddenly decides to visit me.' He snapped back, outraged.

'So again, it's my fault? Stop being childish Spike and grow up!' He yelled, catching male nurses attention, who start watching them intently, but decided to not interfere yet.

'I don't have anyone. The only family I had was Randall.'

'Bullshit. You have friends who care about you. I'm your family. We all are.'

'We're mates, when I was working on station.' He clarified.

'I'm your friend regardless of whether you're going to work on station or not.' Craig said firmly. 'And don't you ever dare to forget about it.' He said through the teeth, eyes shone with tears. 'It's not like we're going to forget about you, when you stop being a copper.'

'You're so busy…' Craig laughed shortly with disbelief.

'So? I think I can manage a little time for my old friend.' He gave him a harsh look. 'So, that's the all reasons?' He raised hands in the air. 'You bloody idiot...'

'I don't want to talk with you about that.' He mumbled.

'Why not?' He asked harshly. 'You think it was easy for me to chose between you, John Paul and Darren who I should save? I have been pushed to kill Mitchell, to save us. And although he didn't deserve any remorse, he was still a human. A guy who I needed to kill, and believe me I can't stop thinking about it. It's hard to deal with something like that, even if I did it to save myself and my colleague…I still thinking, I could wait or do something else, instead of shooting him down.'

'I know what are you feeling.' Spike whispered, sadness filled his eyes.

'No, you don't know.'

'I killed someone also.' Craig's eyes widened suddenly, surprised with his words, his all body tensed.

'What?' He asked almost in whisper.

'I killed someone.' He repeated slowly, staring deeply into his eyes, and Craig knew he wasn't lying. And for one short moment, Craig felt betrayed…

'Don't tell me you killed Randall…' For all the time he was covering a murderer? No, it's not possible...

'No, it was someone else.' Spike replied with a gasp. 'It happened in Ibiza. It was accident…'

'She was working in my department, but never with me, so I can't tell you too much about her.' Tall blonde man in uniform said as he handed a mug for his guest, sitting in the chair in front of him.

'You were her superior, so you have to know something. Or at least you should know if she's good or not.' Craig stated with a quick glance at man, before he focused at the white mug with red hearts in his hands.

'No one never complained at her. She was very hard working and she has a good nose.'

'So you didn't have any problems with her?' Craig made sure, didn't want to have any surprises when she joins his team.

'No…If there were some problems mostly because of her English. She has this strange, a little annoying accent and sometimes there were some problems with understand what she's saying…But like I said, she's fine. You shouldn't have any problem with her.'

'I know what you mean.' Craig sighed. 'I saw her name.'

'Yea, I know.' He chuckled slightly. 'No one could say it correctly, so we just kept calling her like people with whom she was working earlier.'

'Which name is?'

'Tiger's eye.' Craig raised his eyebrow, when man burst in laugh.

'Are you serious?'

'Yes. It's because of her right eye.' He replied and sat behind the desk.

'What's wrong with it?'

'I don't know the whole story, so I'm not going to say anything, but trust me. When you only see her, you'd understand her nickname.' He assured him. 'So, you're a new superintendent, eh?' He grinned.

'It looks like that.' He shrugged, uninterested. 'Was she working in homicide?'

'Yes, Craig. Don't worry, she knows her job.' He rolled his eyes. 'Now would you leave this woman, alone?'

'What kind of problems she has with her speaking?' The man growled and with shook of his head fixed his eyes at unmoved Craig.

'Still the same stubborn bastard.' He stated with a sigh, and Craig only grinned in response.

'My new partner just arrives. Megan said he's waiting for me in canteen.' Bridget informed with a big smile as she start popping around the common room.

'Oh, really?' Darren mumbled uninterested above his newspaper. 'From what station he is, then?'

'Our. He just got promotion.' She replied and handed John Paul some documents.

'He's just after promotion?' Charlie raised his eyebrow questioningly, stupid grin on his face. 'I just hope it's not the person I think it is…What's his name, Bridget?'

'William York.' She replied somehow proudly, but her smile quickly faded when Darren finally jerked his head above the magazine, exchanged looks with Charlie, and both burst in hysterical laugh. 'What's so funny?' She asked annoyed. 'You know him?'

'And who doesn't know him?' Charlie asked, he was all shaking with laugh. 'Craig Dean hates you Bridget. That's all I can say.'

'It wasn't Craig decision. He got top command to chose someone new and young to our department.' John Paul clarified. 'What's wrong with him?'

'He's fine.' Darren shrugged with a big grin. 'But still, he's a black sheep our station.'

'What?' She snapped, confused. Did she miss something recently? 'You're just jealous and that's all.'

'You can ask whoever you want and trust me, everyone tell you the same. He's a black sheep.' Charlie said firmly. 'Whatever he touches, it turns into dust. Worse when he's working with someone…He already sent three officers to hospital.'

'If he'd be so bad, what's he'd doing here?' She placed hands on hips.

'Well, it's not like we have more, fresh starters here.' John Paul replied with a small smirk. 'I'm sure, you'll be feel good together.'

'You probably just overacting.' She stated with a snort and marched toward the main corridor.

'Is she right?' John Paul asked them quietly.

'Trust me. Two days and there won't be any windows in this room.' Charlie grinned amused. John Paul closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He almost could see Craig's mine right now and he knew he won't happy with new revelation when he only comes back.

'We had to arrest members of local mafia, when something went wrong. I'm not sure what, but before I could do something, me and my colleagues were in the middle of chaos. Everyone were shouting, running and shooting. You didn't know anymore who was for your side and who not. You just wanted to survive.'

'What's happened next?' Craig asked quietly, watching him intently.

'I've been shot.' He replied with a deep sigh. 'I remember when I fall down on the ground and I was watching everything half conscious…He came from nowhere. I thought he was one of them.'

'You shot to him?' He more stated than asked.

'I wanted to live. I thought it's the only way to get alive from this hell…Maybe if I wait a little longer and see he wasn't with me or gangsters, he'd be still here.' He said quietly.

'He just appeared in a wrong place, in a wrong time.' He said softy and gently touched his hand. 'You were trying to survive and I'm sure everyone in the neighborhood were informed what was going around. He knew this risk.'

'Maybe he didn't hear about…'

'We both know, he did…You didn't do nothing wrong. It's the risk of our job.'

'I should think…' He shook his head.

'You should informed us what's happened with you.' He said harsh, eyeing him up unfriendly. 'Besides everyone said you were innocent. Whoever was on your place, I'm sure, would do the same.'

'I couldn't phone to you or Bridget. Not after I left without goodbye.'

'That's your problem why you've been a total jerk.' Craig snapped. 'We were worrying about you and missed you badly…I still can't believe why the hell you were thinking then? If the money was so important for you, you could tell me this. I'd try to understand it.'

'You wouldn't understand.' He disagreed with a faint smile.

'How you can be so sure, eh? You think you know me so pretty good?' He snorted.

'Well…' He started with growing smile, when Craig interrupted him with an irate sigh.

'Fine, you're right. I wouldn't understand it, cause I'd never put money before my friend. Never.' He said firmly, looking deeply into his eyes. 'Shame you're not the same.' He crashed the cup in his hand and was going to stand up.

'I did it for you.' Spike said softly, making the man stay on the chair.

'Excuse me?'

'It wasn't about money.'

'Then about what?' He asked surprised, didn't understand anything. 'I didn't want you to leave.' He said puzzled.

'Maybe you didn't, but for your good I needed to do it.' He smiled slightly and suddenly pulled back from the table with the chair. 'I need to go. I have meeting with doctor Ferrer for few minutes.'

'No. You can't go just like that. No, until you explain me what the fuck are you trying to tell me.' He argued and tried to catch his arm, but Spike moved quickly from him.

'Thanks for coming…And I hope you'd feel better soon. Nightmares can really exhaust.'

'I need to know.' He repeated stubbornly, but Spike shook his head.

'Maybe one day we can talk once again. And don't blame himself for Mitchell's death. You did the right thing.' He smiled slightly and without more words marched toward the door in the end of room. Craig stood up to follow him, but the man was already behind the door and he understood his visitation just ends. He swore under his breath and grabbed the empty cup before he decided to get back to home, knowing he won't learn nothing new this time.

John Paul shivered slightly when someone's arms wrapped around his waist and someone's face snuggled into his back. He smiled as the familiar perfume hit his nostrils and he immediately relaxed, hands moved into another ones.

'You disappeared for another long day.' He said quietly and closed his eyes when the warm lips met with his alabaster neck.

'Sorry. I needed to talk with my old friend.' Craig apologized.

'You have friends?' John Paul asked amused, teasingly.

'Ha, very funny.' He snapped into his back. 'It looks like someone has a good humor, today.'

'And someone is very moody.' John Paul stated with a slight smile. 'Did your friend said you something?'

'I talked with him about new recruit.' He replied evasively.

'You mean William York or Russian officer?' Craig rolled his eyes. He should knew, he isn't going to hide anything from him.

'What's the difference?' He asked annoyed. 'It's confidential. I can't tell you about all things I'm doing.'

'So, it's again about that poor woman.' He grinned, more stating than asking. 'So what's wrong with her? I thought we set up, you're not going to talk about her, until she arrives…It's only three days, Craig.'

'I know when she's coming, and stop making a laugh of me.'

'But you're so funny.'

'John Paul…'

'Okay, I shut up.' He rolled his eyes, amused.

'I just needed to know who I'm hiring. We're working in homicide.'

'I know, but since what I know you don't have any reasons to be nervous. Everyone saying she's fine…'I'd be more concerned about William York than her.' He said carefully.

'What you mean?' He asked puzzled and pulled back from him.

'Well, I heard some news about him…And I don't think you're gonna like them.' He said with a sheepishly smile as he turned around to face him. 'You didn't talk with anyone about him, did you?'

Darren hid his mobile phone in jeans and moved upstairs the old, modern staircase, until he reached his destination. He knocked on the door few times, but minutes were passing away, and no one answering. I could guess, he thought. He was trying to contact with him for the last two weeks, but without mayor results. He never picked up his phone. Darren knew he always could ask Craig, the most informed person at the station, but he was sure he won't say him any word and only piss off more at him. Recently they both lost contact with themselves and any of them seemed to do anything to change it. They just accepted the order of things and both moved on their different ways, far away from each other. Somehow it hurt him, how distance and malicious Craig; his brother, became toward him, since he found out about him and Spike. Maybe he had rights to be angry at him, but still, he could try understands him and give him some advice, what to do, since he wasn't sure about anything. Even about his feelings. He was one big mess, and he even didn't have anyone to talk with. His father would never understands his dilemmas and Craig…he didn't care about him anymore. For him he even could be dead now.

'Come on, open the door. I need to see you.' He said quietly to the door and leaned against it with hope, it'll open a little and he again sees him. To see the only person who all the time cared about him.

'Real estate agent already went back to home. You need to phone to company, if you want to see the flat.' He winced when girlish voice resounded behind his back. He turned around only to see two young girls, about fifteen years, with strong makeup on faces, staring back at him with interested. 'You're going to move here?'

'What? No.' He replied puzzled and scratched his head. 'I'm trying to contact with a guy who is living here.'

'No one is living here.' She replied with a smirk. 'The guy who was living here, go abroad since what I know and issued the flat for sale…So are you going to buy it?'

'Are you sure?' His heart sank in the chest. 'I'm searching for Spike Hunter.'

'I know. The other guy died, here, so I guessed you have to ask about other one.' She shrugged, giving him an odd look. 'I'm just telling you what I know. People are saying he goes abroad.'

'But, he couldn't…'

'Maybe his friends know something.' She advised and took a long look at him. 'Are you sure you don't want to live, here?'

'I'm sure.' He was barely standing on his feet. He couldn't believe he just gone…Left him without words.

'Shame. You're handsome.' He glanced briefly at girls, before he ran down the stairs, didn't want to stay there any longer. He hid in the car and hit few times the steering wheel, trying to calm himself. He's not worth anything, now he understood what superintendent and Craig had in mind. Spike didn't deserve anything. He just used him and threw away like a toy, when he gets boring with it. And he was calling him a friend…How blind he could be? He looked into mirror and noticed tears streaming down his cheeks and chin, before it fall down on his hands. He didn't deserve anything.

So why are you crying? He looked on the pair of dark eyes staring back at him from the mirror and he understood he couldn't find a good answer. The truth was he didn't know why he's crying over him now, when everything seemed to lose its significance.