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Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Gundam Seed, but I do own Mai and the original plot around her!

Akane: Enjoy, minna-san! :D Please R&R! Reviewing ACTUALLY makes me want to write more, believe it or not! :3

"Tears are the silent language of grief."
Voltaire

ENTRY ELEVEN: BROKEN HEARTS

The seconds turned into minutes, then hours.

She knew she had no more tears left. That her body was dry and nothing else would come, but she accepted it. Mai was glad she was dry; she didn't want to cry for herself, but the weight of everything was catching up to her.

She wanted to see Lacus.

Lacus, her best friend, was who she always went to with her troubles. Mai would always get advice from her, even when the pink haired girl wasn't trying. Between song writing and everyday problems, they could talk for hours. Right then, she just wanted her there.

So, she was sitting at the desk in her room and resting her head on the cool surface, listening to Lacus' song on her laptop. Staring at the inside of her locket she had placed on the table. When Lacus' voice came to an end, and one of her own cheery song's started, Mai turned the laptop off then reached into her bag. She felt around for her headache medicine, but her fingers wrapped around something else. Curious, she pulled it out.

It was a small, plain, silver case a little larger then her hand. She shook it; something was inside, but it wouldn't open when she tried. A lock? On the top of the case was a curved hole the size of a small key. A key she didn't have.

--

"Kira, it's probably best if he doesn't see you."

"But –"

"I know, but we don't want Sai to go nuts again, right?"

Mai clicked into where she was, after spending at least ten minutes hunting down a tool to pry the case open. She had tried a knife from the kitchen, only to have it snap in her hands. Now, as she headed towards the hanger to borrow some tools from the mechanics, she saw both Kuzzey and Kira standing in front of one of the rooms in the hallway. She realized it was Sai's room, where he was to be locked up for the next week as his punishment.

"I can take it in," she said, walking towards them with her hands held out. She smiled at Kuzzy, but only gave Kira a small glance. Any more then that, and she figured she'd break down right then and there. "I'm sure he'll be happy to see me."

After a few more seconds, Kuzzey finally agreed and gave her the tray. Kira didn't say a word to her, but she felt his eyes on her until the doors slid shut behind her. She sighed, releasing the air she'd been holding in as an extra precaution.

Mai's eyes landed on Sai, sitting in the corner, and instantly felt her heart shift at the sight of his face, the look of his eyes behind tinted glasses; tired, sad, broken. She swallowed her own pain and prepared to reach out to his.

"Hey you, how are you feeling?" She questioned quietly.

"Fine," he mumbled, before raising his eyes to her face. She watched the flash of realization turn into curiosity. "Mai…?"

Mai smiled, setting the tray of food at his feet before sitting against the wall beside him. "I figured you must be hungry."

"Yeah, thanks…"

Silenced past as she watched him pick at his food, but not eating any of it. At one point he took the bun in his hand and stared at it, as if debating whether or not eating it was worth anything.

"You know," she started slowly, "a week isn't that long. You've already gone through two days."

Sai smiled slightly. "I know… I deserve this, though, so I can't complain." He took a bite.

"It's not your fault you feel this way…" She hugged her legs and rested her chin on her knees. Sai was staring at her now, and she whispered: "It's…. It's not our fault we feel this way…"

--

Kira didn't know what was wrong with him, but Flay's words still bothered him.

"He's a misguided fool," she had said after he had asked her why she was near his confinement room. When she had tried to pin his body down to kiss him, he pushed her off and ran out the door. Now, he was sitting in one of the ship's dark hallways. He was grateful they turned most of the lights off at night.

He tried to clear his mind, but so many things were still bothering him. It felt like it didn't matter what he tried to think through; he would always be troubled by something. Kira couldn't help but be reminded of her face and the broken smile behind it. Was she regretting leaving home? Did she miss the brother she spoke of? Or was it his fault? Either way, she was upset.

Mai wouldn't even look at him.

--

"Mai?"

She didn't answer. The muffled call didn't sound like her name, not with the water running over her face.

Ever since she was little, Mai loved the water. Her and her mother would spend hours out in the sun, splashing each other and making shapes in the sand. She was sure that was the reason water calmed her down so much.

That was why, when Marrue told her and several other members' of the crew to take a break, she grabbed a towel and headed for the showers. The Archangel had two shower rooms and two restrooms, each divided into male and female. The female shower room was full of stalls for privacy, and she was grateful for it now. Ever since she stepped into the shower fifteen minutes before, she hadn't moved. She had rested her head against the cold wall and just let the water run over her body, the water taking her problems with her. All her thoughts, all her worries gone and her brain void of everything. The only thing she focused on was the small scratch in front of her eyes.

"Mai?" the voice called again. She recognized it as her own name that time, but still didn't answer. The door shook, the slide lock protesting against the intruder. Finally, after a minute of struggling, the lock gave out and released the door. "Mai!"

When she realized the person had opened the door, she straightened her body and turned to see who it was. Miriallia stood at the door, still in uniform, but holding a folded towel on her arm with a worried look on her face.

"… Mir?" Mai managed to get out, everything she tried to forget slammed back into her mind.

"Oh thank goodness… I was worried sick when you didn't answer me." Miriallia handed her the towel once Mai turned off the water. She wrapped it around her body and tucked a piece of wet hair behind her ears.

"Sorry…. I guess I was just out of it. I didn't hear you."

Silence, almost like Mir was examining her, searching for the truth. Until finally: "Are you sure everything's okay? Is something bothering you?"

Mai tried to smile. "I'm just…. I'm just a little homesick."

"…. If you say so."

--

"Hey kid, how're you feeling?"

Would everyone keep asking her that?

"I feel better then earlier," she told Mu over her intercom, not exactly lying. Walking around with Mir during the rest of her break made her feel just a little better. She knew the difference between what her friend worried about and what her ally did; that being her heart and her quickly healing waist. "I had a rest, so I'll be fine."

The ship shook; she grabbed on to her seat. They were waiting for battle, for the instant they were called to protect the ship against the Tiger.

"Strike, Ecran and Skygrasper prepare for launch," Mai heard Miriallia's voice begin to instruct them. She was the last to be catapulted into the air, the launch not affecting her vision as much as it did the previous time.

The Ecran was equipped with a specialized Blaze Wizard, similar to the Aile Striker Pack. Both type of equipment modules were created to aid the mobile suits in adapting different combat conditions. The Blaze Wizard provided higher mobility and firepower, also equipped with boosters and guided missile launchers; it was the obvious choice for the desert.

The second she could focus on the battle before her, she released the daggers hiding in the Ecran's hips and took down two of the enemies helicopters attacking the Archangel's bridge. Mu and the Skygrasper were helping the ship shoot more of them, while Kira was heading for the BuCUEs.

Mai followed.

"How many BuCUEs are we dealing with?" Kira questioned.

She swallowed her feelings and checked her scanner. "There's five altogether."

"Valiant's, fire!" Natarle ordered from the bridge. The Ecran spun out of the way, and shot down several missiles aimed for the Strike ahead of her. She raced to his side.

They danced around, blocking and firing, trying to take down the BuCUEs while protecting the Archangel at the same time. Below them, Desert Dawn vehicles fired at the large machines, one almost destroyed before the Strike knocked the BuCUE down and destroyed it.

"Who's next?!" he shouted.

Mai looked around, dodging the attacks from the helicopters. Mu had told the two teenagers to leave them to him and focus on the BuCUEs. She watched a missile hit the BuCUE to her left as Kira destroyed a second one to her right. Pulling back on the lever in her hand caused the Ecran to swoop down to the first BuCUE, ripping its body in half with her daggers. Cagalli had been in the vehicle which had attacked it; the sand that followed the BuCUE crashing to the ground engulfed them both. Mai used it to her advantage and took down another BuCUE by catching it off guard, protecting Cagalli's group before they could be harmed.

Silence; the BuCUEs were dead.

Gunfire broke the silence, missiles fired into the air. Mai spun around to see another ship approach behind the Archangel. An ambush.

"No!" She cried out, the same time as Kira, and they sped towards the ship.

A light flashed to her left, a signal of warning. A blur of sand separated them, only settling once the Strike was too far away. Mai felt her skin go cold at the sight of the orange cat-like machine, images of her father's database flashing through her head.

The Desert Tiger's LaGOWE.

"Kira!"

"Go protect the ship, Mai!"

"But –" she stopped herself; there was no point in arguing. "Be careful!"

"There's cannon fire shooting down at us!"

"Evade it!"

"We can't! Shoot it down!"

The voices filled her head as she headed for the ship, already shooting down as many missiles as she could from where she was. When she reached it, one of the shots hit her in the side. The screen flashed, but the phase shift armour could still last longer. Kira was fending off the Tiger; Mai had to protect the ship alone.

The Ecran straightened itself on the ship, raising the gun launcher from the Blaze Wizard towards the ambushing ships and fired. Her shots mixed in with the Archangels Helldart's and Korinthos but about fifty percent of them were shot down.

Mai's screen zoomed in as far as it would go, only to see the Duel and the Buster mimicking her own moves on top of the Lesseps's ship. She sent the pictures and the information to the bridge and continued to fire. In return, she was told the Archangel was stuck on the abandoned factory building below.

A Skygrasper flew by her head, but it wasn't Mu. "Hey! Who's piloting that?" she asked the Bridge.

Miriallia answered her: "I have confirmation that Cagalli is the pilot!"

What? How was that possible? Mai searched for her vehicle, and saw it abandoned in the sand. From her spot she couldn't help much, but watched her and Mu destroy one ship's cannons.

Mu shouted with enjoyment, happy with the turn of events. "That a girl!"

The Buster fired at Cagalli's Skygrasper, but missed; it seemed that Yzak and Dearka had yet to adjust to the new atmosphere. She aimed and fired at them again, but the Duel had moved to jump to the sand below. Based on what Athrun had told her, Yzak wasn't the most patient person in the world. The Buster moved to follow and was hit by a remaining shot, loosing an arm and the missile launcher it was holding. Mai prepared to repel the Duel if it got any closer, but it was disoriented in the sand.

Something hit the Archangel, the Ecran held on. The impact released the ship; it turned and fired at the enemy, destroying part of it after the Buster followed the Duel to the sand. Both mobile suits were not created for desert combat without some serious reprogramming; there was no way they could fight back, they could just barely defend themselves. Knowing this, Mai destroyed a missile from the Archangel that would've destroyed Dearka if it made contact. The Ecran flashed a warning, her power was low. She couldn't do much more to help anyone.

The Archangel had the Legged ship retreating, the same as the Desert Dawn and the two enemy mobile suits. The Tiger and the Strike were facing each other, not moving, and she realized neither was retreating. Andrew Waltfield was buying time for his men.

It was a duel to the death, and all she could do was stand by and watch?

Kira told him to surrender, and Mai heard his fuzzy reply through her comlink. "Like I said, there are no clear ways on ending a war like this!"

The Strike slashed the left of the LaGOWEs side, tearing apart its backside. The phase shift armour faded, and the LaGOWE took the chance to attack. Panicking, Mai forced the Ecran to stand, and fired, sending enough sand into the air to give Kira time. After that, her Gundam collapsed, the rest of its energy diminished. The Strike released the Aile pack and grabbed the dagger in its hip, similar to the Ecran.

Mai watched the two machines charge towards each other, ready to kill, and screamed for them to stop. The dagger went into the LaGOWE's head; if froze for a minute, before the body was engulfed in the explosion.

Mai couldn't help but cry, her tears falling silently. "You have such a beautiful smile," the Tiger had said, the first time they had met. "You're mother must be proud."

Who could possibly be proud of her? Who could be happy with all the killing caused by this war? Andrew was right, there were no clear ways.

So she decided to find one.

--

The pain he felt was beyond anything he could remember.

Athrun had finally managed to get away from everyone. His father had talked to him briefly, not looking him in the eyes even once, but Athrun expected that. He'd been that way ever since his sister's passing, not that he ever received much attention from his father. Mai was usually the one who balanced everything, but she was gone.

His chest throbbed again.

Lately he had been constantly getting these sharp internal pains, and had even gone to seek medical attention. He was told it was most likely due to stress, but he knew that couldn't have been it. There was many times in his life that he'd been more stressful.

Athrun locked the door to his room and took off his jacket. As he headed for his desk, he stopped, knowing what hung on the wall to his right. Slowly, he turned to it, not sure if he wanted to see the collection of faces and notes collected on the cork board. Two pictures stood out the most, right in the center.

The first, taken four years earlier during a class camping trip on Earth, was of him and his best friend. They were laughing, playfully fighting over whose directions were correct and who made them lost. When the girl's class had finally managed to hunt the boys down, Mai had taken the picture without telling them, her own friends laughing with them. It was the following spring the twins were forced to leave Copernicus behind.

The second was the same that decorated the inside of their matching lockets, his very locket hanging off the tack that kept the picture up. He took it in his hand, fingering the cold metal and the name engraved on it. Athrun.

Athrun Zala: Patrick Zala's son and Mai Zala's twin brother.

He took the chain down and placed it around his neck, then continued to his desk.

-

I made a promise to myself then. A promise that nothing would stand in my way, not even my friend. I was done trying to convince him, I wanted revenge. For my mother, for my sister.

Revenge against the Naturals.

Athrun Zala

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