For those who read my other stories, I've explained that I'm going to try lowering the pressure on me my not making myself feel like I need to upload chapters more than 4000 words. ;; Hopefully that means I'll be able to post quicker! :3

Also make sure to review! I find I love writing more right after a good review~ x3

"Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter."

Friedrich Nietzsche

ENTRY THIRTEEN: CRIMSON – PART ONE

She counted the seconds that passed with each throbbing of her head.

Mai was unable to sleep, and the medicine she had taken hadn't helped her at all. Ever since she had gone to her room, she couldn't understand how her body felt so weak. She rested, the only remaining pain the pounding in her head. In the dark and the silence, it had managed to slow down only a little.

For the second time since she had lain down, Miriallia came to check on her. As much as Mai wanted the silence, she enjoyed her friend's visits. She smiled when Mir walked through the door.

"Miriallia," she managed out. Her voice had become more stable since earlier that day, and she knew her friend could also hear the slight cheerfulness in her voice. Mai felt like herself enough that she would leave with Mir this time. She wanted to move around, see how things were going, and check the Ecran. The Gundam had become such a part of her life it felt like an extra arm; if it wasn't working properly than neither could she.

"How do you feel?" Miriallia asked, Mai's smile mirrored on her face. She didn't wait for an answer and went straight to feel the blue haired girl's forehead.

"Better."

"You look better, that's for sure."

Miriallia sat on her bed, biting her bottom lip as if to hold in a question. Mai patted her arm and told her it was okay to ask her anything. She was one of the many people aboard the Archangel that she hated lying to more than was necessary.

"It's just…" Mir started. Mai watched her struggle with her words. "I've known Kira for a while now, but he's never been… sick. Not like you seem to be. I thought…"

"That Coordinators don't get sick?" Mai smiled half-heartedly. She was always wondering the same thing. "I don't know what's wrong. It's only been like this since I've arrived on this ship." She had managed to figure out a timeline, from when she had first felt like this. It was new to her, but she also knew Naturals had experienced such pain at least a couple times in their lives. What did that mean? Was she defective, or was it from being around the others? It couldn't have been the second case, since Kira always seemed fine.

That must've meant she was defective. Brilliant.

The door opened, someone called out Mai's name to get permission to come inside. She wondered why he was there, or why he had hesitated. "It's alright, Sai, you can come in."

He stepped inside, holding one of the ships water bottles in his hand. When he saw the two girls, his face instantly broke out into a smile. Mai smiled back; she was happy to see him feeling better.

Miriallia helped her sit up so she could drink from the bottle. Mai didn't think she really needed the help, but couldn't refuse. The water felt amazingly cool down her throat. She hadn't been hungry before, but now her stomach was craving something more.

Mai asked the two if they would accompany her to the cafeteria, and they gladly accepted.

This happened the same time Kira knew he wanted to get out of his own room.

"Here Flay, this should help." He placed the cold cloth on her forehead. Flay had been complaining about feeling sick ever since she had found him after the last battle. Right as Kira opened the door to his room to get her to lie down he had heard voices down the hall. A couple of passing soldiers were talking about how 'the girl pilot' had been brought to her own room right after leaving the Ecran. He had only been able to hear that she looked ill before the girl attached to his arm pulled him inside.

Now he wanted to know how she was doing, and it was hard to pay attention to Flay.

"Oh, that feels so good." She pressed the cloth closer to her forehead and sighed. "You're no surprise Kira, but why is no one else on board seasick?"

"I don't think the ships swaying enough for it to be seasickness." Kira looked away as he spoke, afraid she'll see the suspicion on his face. She didn't look sick, but he couldn't just leave her.

"It's swaying enough for me," she mumbled with a disgusted groan.

An idea clicked in Kira's mind; a possible escape route. "I could go get Miriallia? She could, um… take care of you?"

"No!" She reached out and grabbed his arm. "It's fine as long as you're here." Kira sighed, the little robot bird jumping on his shoulder as if to rush him. "But… I could use a glass of juice or something to drink."

He couldn't help but let the relief reach his face and his lips curved up in a smile, even if it meant she would see. Kira headed for the door. "Okay. Just give me one minute."

"Kira, this towel's warm now!" He heard her call after him. Kira sighed at her attempt, but didn't look back.

Mai's laughter echoed throughout their ears. It was like the group was in a trance, as if in that moment all there was in the world was her. Miriallia loved watching her friend smile, the happiness over taking the sorrow she knew Mai must have been suffering.

When he watched her like this, Sai couldn't believe that this had been the same girl he had seen earlier. The same girl who had sat beside him during most of the time he was locked away. After the first time, all they really did was sit there. Not exchanging words, just sitting with each other's company. The whole time, she looked like she was on the verge tears. He waited for her to break down, but she never did.

Tolle, happy to have been able to change the subject, continued to tell a story about Miriallia and him before they were dating. The two of them had seen each other at a public pool, and Tolle had been so embarrassed and surprised that he had slipped into the deep end. Miriallia said she had been worried sick until he surfaced and gave her such a foolish grin. Tolle opened his mouth to begin a new story, but stopped to see who had come into the cafeteria.

Mai didn't have to turn to see who it was. Instantly, her laughter stopped and she felt her body freeze. She refused to let the others see the obvious change she felt, and tried her best to keep the smile on and decided to stare at her food. Beside her, Sai began to sulk and fiddled with his water bottle. Mai wondered if Kira would be able to tell her mood had changed, and decided to hide her face with her hair the best that she could. She gripped a piece at the end and played with it, amazed for a second how long her hair had grown.

Miriallia stood from her seat as Kira walked by, trying to speak and break the silence. "Hey, how's Flay feeling?"

"Bad… She had some medicine, but she's still groaning."

Kuzzy turned to Sai, whispering "you okay?" which he answered just as quietly as and had a fake smile that matched Mai's. "Yeah. I know I don't stand a chance against Kira."

Mai felt her throat tighten and yearned to say something, but was afraid that she would break down if she opened her mouth. Even after he had left with a glass of juice, the atmosphere in the room didn't go back to normal.

Kira sighed when the door closed behind him, knowing the room had fallen silent because of his arrival. He wished it wasn't like that, that everyone would smile and greet him as usual. For now, even though something was obviously wrong, he was just happy to see that she wasn't sick. Kira wanted so much for Mai to smile at him.

When the alert went off, Mai had been the first one to her feet. Miriallia had called out to her when she had started running into the hall, telling her to slow down. She heard her friends behind her as she headed for the hanger, knowing they would soon turn off into a different direction for the bridge.

Mai watched Kira step out of a room, and heard her friends stop behind her. She didn't stop, not only because she was afraid to face him. They needed to hurry, they needed to fight. There wasn't much time for personal feelings.

Knowing this, the two of them managed to act completely in sync while fighting on the battlefield. It was the only time the two and their will to protect would push everything aside and face what was before them.

Her heart pounded as she held the gun in her hands.

Cagalli had insisted on piloting a Skygrasper in order to help the Archangel in battle. She was nervous, and it affected her skills, but everything had been alright until she came across a Zaft carrier that knocked her down. The island she had landed on was small, and she had come across an enemy mobile suit. The pilot had hidden when she fired her first shot.

She couldn't let him get away, but she wondered if she could kill him. Cagalli had never used a gun before, let alone take someone's life.

As she edged closer to the large rock he was hiding behind, she noticed the bag he had dropped. The faint glimmer of a gun told her he would try to jump for it.

The pilot crouched, holding a knife in his hands. Trying to calm herself down, she slowly kicked the gun away, only to see him jump away. She panicked and shot at him, but missed.

When she could no longer see the pilot, she took the chance to reload her gun. He was somewhere, readying an attack. She turned to the other gun, confused by its shape. Picking it up, Cagalli examined the barrel; it was a new type.

The distraction was all the pilot had needed. He jumped from his hiding spot, not giving her enough time to fight back before he kicked the gun out of her hand and had her pinned to the ground.

Finally, at the sight of the knife, her panic caved in and she let out a terrified scream. She was going to die.

Mai couldn't calm down, despite her friends constant comments and attempts.

When she stormed towards her mobile suit, even Mu had pulled her away from it.

"Now where do you think you're going?" He scolded, unimpressed with her attempts to search for the lost girl. Cagalli's Skygrasper had disappeared during battle, so both Kira and Mai had taken shifts to search for her. Both had been unable to rest when it was the other's turn, and it hadn't gone unnoticed. "You know the Captain said you weren't allowed to search at night."

Mai tried to struggle out of the older man's grasp. She wasn't small, only a few inches shorter than Kira, but the man was strong. Mu La Flaga was determined to hold onto the back of her combat suit and not let her go.

"We can't just leave her out there! Kira's back now, I should be able to go."

Mu sighed. "Kira had only been back an hour before trying to go out again. Neither of you have rested when you were told too."

Turning her eyes away, Mai felt her shoulders slunk in defeat. "But…"

"Kira and I are both going to look for her when the sun rises," Mu let go of her and gave her a quick comforting pat before continuing. "You'll need to stay here in case there's an attack. We'll bring her back, don't worry. She's a strong girl."

Cagalli couldn't take her eyes off of the sleeping Zaft pilot.

The boy had decided not to kill her, tying her up instead. Though as the sky grew darker and the rain began to fall, he had slowly begun to pity her. As her clothes dried by the fire, she couldn't help but wonder how he could sleep, how he could let down his guard.

What was it about him that kept her gaze trapped? He looked so familiar, but she had never seen him before.

Finally, she tore her eyes from him and to the mobile suit that towered above him.

So many people had died, and so many more would lose their lives. She couldn't let him kill anymore.

Cagalli turned to the sleeping boy and reached for his gun.

The little girl in her dream was always crying.

She was so used to being surrounded by people, used to seeing them smile and listening to the sounds of their laughter. So why was she the one to suffer? Why was she forced to be alone in such a cold, dark place?

The girl cried out, wanting so much to be heard; wanting so much to be embraced by the warmth that had once held her. She wanted to escape from the abandoned snow covered city and the endless darkness. If only someone would save her, take her hand and help her find what she had lost so long ago.

When no one answered, she reached to wipe her tears as her attention was caught on something else.

The snow was soaked with crimson.

I'll try to finish it before my camping trip this weekend~ Please review~