Chapter 4

Miss Our little talks.

"Ow!"

Brittany flinched and was rubbing her forearm. Santana had just pinched her after settling on their bed. Their baby boy was fast asleep in his nursery across the hall, oblivious to his mother's jolt.

"What the fu-hell?"

Santana narrowed her eyes and said imitating Brittany "You too." She mocked.

"Wha-? Why did you pinch me?" She asked, carefully watching Santana for the answer and after a moment, her confused expression turned to an amused one when realization dawned on her.

"D'aw baby, come here." Brittany whispered and pulled a reluctant Santana even closer to her. She started to kiss her sweetly but Santana was having none of it.

"Kiss me back. Open your mouth." Both women giggled quietly but Santana didn't oblige and kept receiving the wet smooches all over her face.

After a couple of minutes, Brittany stopped and buried her face into Santana's neck, inhaling deeply the sweet scent. She dropped a kiss there too before looking at her again "Say you love me, once more." The blonde demanded, nuzzling their noses together.

"No." Pouting for full dramatic effect.

"Say it, baby. I'll answer properly."

The soft tickles she was receiving finally made her give in "Ok, ok." She sighed "I love you, once more. Always." Santana declared almost timidly.

Brittany's blue eyes were candid and full of marvel for the woman in her arms "I love you too." The earnest tone of her voice warmed Santana, who softly cradled her cheeks and granted the much hunted kiss, slow and languid. "So, so much," Brittany murmured against full lips. "You have no idea."

"Then show me." Santana requested a little out of breath. She licked her lips and closed her eyes, savouring the moment.

Brittany observed the gesture and climbed fully on top of her. The woman beneath her instantly parted her legs to accommodate her better. Santana opened her dark eyes when she felt the familiar weight covering her body. Blue eyes were smiling back adoringly while a long pale finger traced every curve of her face, lingering on pouty lips to finally reclaim them with hunger.

After long minutes of searing kisses, Santana felt a hand tugging at her tank top and within seconds it was off, along with her flimsy bottoms. In one swift motion, Brittany's shirt and then her shorts joined the clothes at their feet. The blonde snaked her arms under Santana's shoulders and held her tightly, as if trying to merge their bodies. Santana trembled in anticipation feeling the pressure latent on her lower stomach, warm and ready.

Brittany started kissing her yet again, faintly moving against Santana. She paused for a moment to find hooded dark eyes while lifting her hips and lowering them to slowly push inside when she felt what she was looking for.

And so, Brittany did just that. She showed Santana how much she loved her, once more. Well, twice to be precise.

Now we're torn, torn apart, there's nothing we can do.
Just let me go, we'll meet again soon …

Santana felt disenchanted. It was the feeling that overwhelmed her when she plopped face down on the bed. To her, the fact that Brittany was indeed -although not directly- her boss and one of the owners of her beloved place of work changed everything. Her professionalism would prevent her from pursuing what she was willing to not a few minutes ago.

Brittany omitting such a huge detail made everything even worst. It had disarmed her to build the walls up sooner.

Suddenly it was all too close, too fast, too soon. She wasn't used to all the new things she was already feeling and that's what scared her the most. Meeting Brittany turned out to be a pleasant surprise and for a fleeting moment she allowed herself to think of the future she wanted.

It wasn't easy for Santana to let someone in. It seemed like it was easy for the important people in her life to leave her. Her father did so. Her first love as well. Why not Brittany? Being who she was. If something further than a friendship was to happen between them and it didn't work out in the end, where would that leave her? Of course she knew that Brittany was incapable of any harm but she wouldn't risk everything. Not after all the hard work and sacrifices.

Unknowingly, Santana was a pessimist when it came to life. So, she decided to bottle everything up and the time bomb started ticking slowly.

"What are you doing here?"

"First of all, hello to you too. And secondly, I'm tired of your monosyllabic answers. So I'm here to have an actual conversation."

Santana huffed, stepping aside to let her in "There's nothing to talk about, Berry."

Rachel ignored her, dropped her things on the couch and started to pick up some empty food containers from the living room while talking "You've been moping around all week. Not to mention the foul mood that has reached a whole new level; which is something else, even for you."

"Your point?"

The shorter woman grabbed her hands and practically forced her to sit on the couch while she finished the kitchen. Santana rolled her eyes and sank further in it. 10 minutes later, Rachel sat properly in front of her on the coffee table.

"I agree that it was wrong of her to omit certain aspects of her life. But you don't know the reasons why she did it. Have you tried to contact her?"

"She texts me every day like she used to; random facts and stuff. I just thank her back but haven't answered her calls." Santana revealed.

Rachel tilted her head "Then, how can you ask for the explanation I know you want? It's not like you don't work at the same place. I think she's giving you time and space."

"I work for her company, Rachel. I can't just go to her office and demand an explanation."

"Why not? It's just a few floors up. I'm certain there's an elevator in the building." She shrugged.

Santana wanted to answer with a sarcastic comment but refrained from doing so. After all, Rachel was her good friend and even when they would argue a lot, they always looked out for each other since senior year of high school.

The petite woman seemed thoughtful for a moment. "Can I ask you something?" Santana just nodded while Rachel took one of her hands between her own "What are you so afraid of?"

Santana was speechless for a moment before gathering her thoughts "I'm not afraid... I just- It feels weird, you know. We spent so much time together and she didn't say a thing. It felt like a lie."

"It's still her, still Brittany. Not your employer or this big shot in the business. Maybe it's only been a little over three months, but from what you have told me, she's your friend." Rachel knew there was something more but it was never good to pressure her.

Santana smiled tiredly "I just need time."

Rachel assented "She's giving you the time. She could've easily summoned you to her office." And wondered "It astounds me how well she knows you already."

It scares me was the passing thought on her mind. Santana shook her head discreetly "It's not that difficult to know me." She added innocently.

"I beg to differ." A theatrical cough accompanied her words "You are such a drama queen. And that's coming from me."

They both shared a light laugh before Rachel, feeling bold, dragged Santana out for dinner. And after, when the short woman dropped her off, Santana unexpectedly hugged her, thanking her without words, as she always did.

Two weeks passed like a blur and Brittany found steadiness at work. She was used to spend most of her time on the sites, not on the central office. But given the circumstances, headquarters required her presence more often and paperwork was appealing. She even subtly wandered through the building from time to time but to no avail. Knowing she was at the same place as Santana provided her a sense of relief.

Of course, her patience diminished, and she had an idea while tossing and turning on her bed. She got up, put some sweatpants and shirt on and arranged what she needed.

The loud knock on the door startled her. Santana was drifting off to sleep on her couch when she heard it and thought it was a neighbour; she didn't buzz anyone in. She peered through the small orifice but saw nothing. Frowning, she opened the door without unlocking the bolt chain but no one was around. An annoyed huff escaped her lips and was about to slam the door shut when she looked down.

She was happy to see Brittany's bendy Jack Skellington sitting at her door, holding a rolled paper with his right arm. She picked him up and closed the door. Once inside, she sat again and saw the words delivered in clean handwriting. Her smile grew bigger while she read and realized Brittany had used a tiny piece of the movie they both loved. She knew Jack's lament by heart.

Oh, there's an empty place in my bones
that calls out for something unknown.
The fame and praise come year after year
does nothing for these empty tears…

I'm sorry.

Brittany Susan Pierce.

Santana reread the note a couple of times and examined the fluffy figure, smelling it. She took him with her to the bedroom and was about to lay down when her mobile phone buzzed loudly. The message from Brittany was simple.

- I really am. Good night, San.

She snuggled against her pillows and texted back, feeling a lot better.

- Good night, Britt.

Holding Jack in one hand, she slept. It was decided what she would do.

The next day, a Friday, Brittany was one of the few people still on the building, even her assistant was gone. The plan was to visit Santana sometime on Sunday. So, she was surprised when said woman appeared at her office open door, knocking coyly. The beam on her face was instant and politely welcomed her in. Santana took a seat in front of her huge desk while Brittany was rooted standing in place.

"I don't mean to bother you but I saw your assistant and she said you were getting ready to leave too." Santana said a little nervous but Brittany didn't notice.

"Hey, it's ok. You're always welcome. I'll always have time for you." She answered honestly, already taking the seat next to Santana.

Both faces were sporting a nervous smile and Brittany was the first one to speak again after a moment of just looking at each other. It was like seeing in a different light but it didn't feel any different, at all. Power suits were extremely good on them.

"I'm glad you are here. I need you to know why I didn't tell you."

Santana nodded slowly "Well, Jack gave me an idea but I'd appreciate if you'd tell me yourself." Her voice was soft and low, offering reassurance.

Brittany looked down for a moment, gathering her thoughts "I was being honest when I told you people tend to think that because of my parents I had it easily. The truth is I didn't want you to be one of those people." She looked at her with a sad smile "I'm very good at what I do and I love it." There was no conceit in her words. "I felt I needed to prove that to you... You are so proud of what you've accomplished and speak so highly of our company that I Just- I didn't want you to think I could take advantage of my position because it was never my intention. It isn't."

"I understand and you didn't- you don't have to prove anything to me. It caught by surprise, that's all." Santana voiced with sincerity.

"I know but I'm so use to misjudgements and comparisons, I wanted to do things differently."

"And it wasn't a good idea after all." A light laugh escaped them and a few minutes passed of plain and simple silence.

"I miss you. So much." Were the words Brittany blurted, effectively surprising Santana.

She inhaled deeply before speaking "And I've missed you but I think we need to take a step back."

"Why?"

"Because it's the proper thing to do. I work for you and keeping things professional it's important." Santana shifted in her seat.

Brittany deflated "We´re both adults and we work with integrity. I don't even see you around here. I don't understand how a relationship could be a problem."

"It's important to me." Her eyes were pleading Brittany.

She looked away and bit her bottom lip "You are important to me." Brittany said hopeful.

"And that's why you're going to respect my decision. We're still friends, nothing can change that."

Blue eyes were piercing into dark ones for what felt like an eternity "I understand then." Brittany managed a smile and stood up along with Santana "Friends, again." She conceded, at least for the time being. She wouldn't scare Santana away.

Brittany smile turned genuine when Santana offered her hand. She shook it but before releasing the hold, she drew Santana in for a hug. The woman fitted easily into her arms and welcomed the embrace. The scent blindsided Brittany for a moment.

"Santana, I-" It was spoken barely audible.

"You too." Santana didn't resist and rushed her murmur before parting ways.

"Keep me around." Brittany's voice whispered.

Swallowing back tears, they both avoided eye contact when the rush of small feet caught their attention. A little black girl in spongy pig tails practically ran inside and jumped into Brittany's waiting arms.

"I told you not to run in there!" A loud voice boomed through the hall.

Dark eyes were curious and observing. The 4 year old girl in Brittany's arms was in a fit of giggles while the blonde woman kissed her cheeks repeatedly.

"Madison Pierce Jones! I swear to God- Oh, sorry girl. I didn't know you were busy."

"No, no, it's ok. Mercedes, this is Santana. Santana, Mercedes." Brittany introduced them through fishy lips as tiny hands were squishing her cheeks together.

"Oh, the famous Santana." Mercedes exclaimed while unexpectedly hugging her "This one won't shut up about you."

Santana glanced at Brittany and grinned discreetly "Nice to meet you, and you too, Maddie." She directed at the little girl when Brittany approached them, hand in hand.

"You know who I am?" Maddie asked looking up at the beautiful adult lady, her hazel eyes wide with wonder.

Santana nodded sweetly and kneeled "Your aunt Britts loves you very much and has told me lots and lots of things about you. You're very pretty."

A toothy grin appeared and small arms encircled her neck. "Thank you, Santa."

"I didn't tell her." Brittany defended when an annoyed look was thrown her way.

Mercedes laugh echoed along with other giggles "Ok, here are your niece's stuff." She handed the girl's backpack. "Don't sugar her up too much, ok." Mercedes focussed on Santana again "It was really niece to finally meet you Miss Santana." She winked and extended her arms to Maddie to hug her goodbye and smooched her soundly.

Maddie was smitten with Santana and kept talking non-stop. According to her, Sponge bob and the gang were the best. Brittany was listening to every word exchanged while gathering her things. Santana giggled when a small hand held hers and the three of them walked outside with Brittany shaking her head in amusement.

"We'll keep you company." The little girl said with determination and her aunt nodded rather eagerly. It was the polite thing to do.

Though the truth may vary,

this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore…