xYuzuruRengex – I know, I cried as well. Even watching this episode before writing the previous chapter had me crying! Sorry if I didn't make it clear next chapter, but I hope this chapter helps! I can PROMISE there will never be AXC. xD I have other plans for Athrun. c:

haganeochibi – I know it's not much, but I'm really hoping these three chapters will make up for it a little. It's sad; the reason I started writing again was because I was watching Inuyasha, and Bankotsu shared Kira's voiced. Fangirling led me back here. xD I'm hoping watching more of the Band of Seven arc will help me write more! Also, it helps that I'm past the boring slump.
I'm glad that my snap shots didn't bother you; I felt they were appropriate…. I don't think I would hate being stalked by Haro's at first. xD ;;

All of you Flay haters out there, prepare to hate her more. ;D

"I am done with great things and big plans, great institutions and big success. I am for those tiny, invisible loving human forces that work from individual to individual, creeping through the crannies of the world like so many rootlets, or like the capillary oozing of water, which, if given time, will rend the hardest monuments of pride."

William James

ENTRY EIGHTEEN: DARKNESS

Mu La Flaga rubbed at his temples, glancing to the girl sitting a few minutes away from him. Both of them wore their battle uniform, prepared for the Archangel to enter the Alaska base. He could see the bags under her red eyes, the words from before still fresh in his mind.

"My father is Patrick Zala, the chief commander of the Zaft Forces." Her eyes had been full of fear as she sat before them, staring down at her hands. "I was aboard the enemy ship before here, using one of their escape pods. Why I left in the first place… I can't remember. Or maybe it just isn't important anymore; all that mattered was protecting this ship." They had waited patiently for her to continue, knowing she was struggling. "It's all because of me that this happened! Because… my brother was the one who piloted the Aegis."

He sighed. Seeing the girl's eyes like that was better than the emptiness he had seen before, but still scared him. There was nothing he could say to her to make it better. Even though Marrue and he told no one of her words, she had confirmed the death of her friends. They both knew Kira and Tolle were dead, but neither one wanted to break the rest of the crew.

"Why won't they let us into the Alaska base?"

Mu looked over to her, meeting her blank gaze. "I don't know; I'm guessing they want to do a background check or something…"

"Oh. That makes sense." The girl turned away, mumbling as she left. Mu knew that he could call the girl if they needed him

"It's okay, I won't leave you." Mai whispered, patting the head of the girl crying into her arms.

Five days had passed since the battle, and she only went back and forth between Miriallia and Dearka, only visiting the prisoner when the broken girl was asleep. Mai would be back before her friend awoke and there were only a few who knew she brought the food to him.

Miriallia found a sort of comfort in Mai when she let her cry, even if her own tears were dry. She patted her friends head as she drifted off while Sai entered the room.

"Will you watch her?" She asked him once Miriallia was asleep. The two of them would always go together to the cafeteria and try to get the girl to eat. Nothing they said to her would work; she was always too focused on what the other crew members were sharing. Such words hurt both of them, but Miriallia seemed more fragile than her. She wondered briefly if being a Coordinator had anything to do it, but decided that didn't matter. Mai saw no difference in the pain on Miriallia's face than on her own.

They were human, and that's all that mattered to her.

Dearka looked at the girl, confused by her. She had visited him often, more so since he was moved into the medical room, but never said anything to him after the first time. Gently, Athrun's sister had explained her situation, face blank of all emotion.

"I tried to stop you from killing each other." She had turned her eyes away from him, petting the robot cat on her lap. "But there was nothing I could do to stop Kira, the boy who piloted the Strike… " Gripping her stomach, he saw her body shaking. "I couldn't stop Kira from killing Nicol. I couldn't stop Athrun from killing Tolle."

Dearka always hated when he saw a girl crying and always seemed to make the situation worse. That time however, when she burst into tears, he felt the only right thing he could do was hold her and let the girl cry into his shoulder.

"Now because of me, I've lost them too!"

When he looked back at the moment, he still didn't understand everything. Had the pilot they worked so hard to destroy meant that much to her?

After that, every time she would visit him she wouldn't say anything, mostly just there to bring him food and water. The portions she brought him were much too large for a prisoner, yet she would never join him. Once he had tried to lighten the mood by telling jokes, hoping to get her feeling well enough to eat, but the girl only nodded and didn't reply to him.

Finished with his food, the girl began to tie him again and gather the trays, promising to visit him again. She had told him it was forbidden to release him, but because she trusted he wouldn't try anything she would free him long in her presence.

"Could you bring me some water?" He asked her, hoping for an excuse to get her to talk to him. "And maybe the doctor? My arm is starting to hurt again."

Dearka watched her turn, giving one of her fake smiles. "Alright. I'll be right back."

The door closed behind her, lifting the air in the room. He wished there was more he could do, more things he could say, but this girl was different when they first met; a cheerful pop star who was just glad to see her brother.

Closing his eyes, he replayed his defeat in his mind. To think that Mai could fight like she did, easily equal to her brother without any actual training. The thought made him uncomfortable.

The door opened again, someone stepping inside and the lights clicking on. The curtains made it difficult to tell who it was, but the familiar pink uniform came into view.

Grinning, he decided that he was going to make her smile for real. "That was quick." The figure turned to him, panicking and hurrying to the other bed. He noticed the brown hair and the frightened blue eyes. "Why are you staring at me? You afraid of me?" It was a stupid question, one he knew the answer to, but the girl had started crying. "Would you relax? I couldn't be any more tied up." He rolled on his side, showing her his bonded hands. Looking at her again, the tears had gotten worse; her body shaking with what he thought was fear. "What I want to know is why a cute little girl like you is crying? I'm surprised such a ship like this has a crybaby on board." Dearka closed his eyes again, waiting for Mai to return. Hopefully she would be able to do something about her tears. He was never good with that, so he would be fine as long as he could distract her until then. "You've got no business being a soldier if you're that afraid. Or maybe your good for nothing Natural boyfriend got himself killed –"

Dearka opened his eyes when he felt something on his face, wondering where the water could be coming from.

His heart dropped when he saw the flash of the knife aiming for his face.

"Miriallia, don't!" The cup fell from her hands as she lunged for her friend, grabbing her wrists before she could strike again. Miriallia's eyes were full of rage, and it took everything in Mai's power to get her attention away from the boy behind her. "Miriallia, look at me!"

The girl was too focused on Dearka, who Mai could see was injured, blood running down his face. She heard the door open, Sai's figure appearing in the room. Quickly, he restrained Miriallia from behind.

"Calm down Mir!"

"Let go of me!" She screamed, struggling in his arms. Mai watched the knife in her hand while she helped Dearka sit up and untying his bonds, prepared to block her if she broke free. "Tolle's gone! He's never coming back! And yet this creep! What is this scumbag doing here?"

"Hurting him isn't going to bring Tolle back!" Miriallia's eyes finally met hers. "If there's anyone you should kill, it's me! My brother was the one who killed him!" Her friend's eyes widened further, the knife falling from her hands. Mai felt tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "Everything is because of me!"

"Tolle is gone…" Miriallia whimpered, shaking her head. "Why is he dead…? Why did he have to die?"

"I don't know." Mai's voice was weak, wishing she had the answer to the same question. "I don't know."

The click of a gun gained their attention.

Standing in the doorframe was the last person Mai had wanted to see, pointing a gun towards Dearka. Flay was also crying, the weapon shaking in her hands.

"All of you Coordinators deserve to be killed!" Flay screamed at them.

Mai stood, moving between the girl with pink hair and the one she was aiming for. Her calm gaze was returned with glares, Sai telling her to get out of the way. She would not let the hateful girl harm anyone, even if it meant death by the hands of the one who had stolen part of her happiness; the girl who had taken her place at Kira's side.

"Do you intend to kill me too?"

Mai watched her eyes widen, her fingers tightening on the trigger. The sound echoed off the walls, drowning out Miriallia's scream. She had broken free from Sai, jumping at Flay to knock the gun from her hands, both girls collapsing to the floor. Miriallia continued to weep.

"Why did you do that?" Flay snapped at Miriallia, sitting up and pushing the girl off of her. "Why did you stop me? You were going to kill him yourself!" Mir remained quiet, leaning away from her and against the other bed frame. "You hate them too, don't you?"

Miriallia shook her head. The sight infuriated Flay more bringing her to her feet. "Don't you hate the Coordinators who killed Tolle? Don't you hate her for not being able to save him? Don't look at me like that! You're exactly the same!"

"I'm not!" Miriallia cried, still shaking her head. "I'm nothing like you!"

Mai tried to take a step forward, wanting to comfort her friend. Even if Miriallia hated Mai for what her brother had done, she still jumped in the way to save her. She tried again, but her body refused to listen. The taste of iron was strong in her mouth, and her right side suddenly felt warm.

When her legs went numb, she lost the ability to stand and fell into Dearka's arms.

The doctor sighed, showing the report to his captain.

The prisoner was no longer in his medical room, moved finally to the lower deck, and his spot was replaced by the Coordinator girl. The girl was sleeping, the drip of her IV the only sound in the room. She had lost a large amount of blood, but no one on the ship shared her blood type. Normally, like he had learnt the last time, this girl's body would begin to heal immediately and at an unnatural pace.

"I'm afraid this time, even though several hours have passed, she hasn't begun to heal at all. I managed to take the bullet out, but the hemostasis stage had only just started, but her cells are not acting quickly enough."

"I don't understand." Mu La Flaga turned to him from his chair beside the wounded girl. "From what you told us last time…"

The doctor nodded. "The last time she was wounded her skin had healed over in less than a day, making it easier for the inside to heal as well. I've been taking notes on everything that has changed since then, but I could only think of the loss of Ensign Yamato. It's like she's lost the will to live, and it's affecting the healing process."

Marrue and Natarle left the room, leaving La Flaga behind. He had wanted to watch over her for a little and would join them later. They hoped the girl would awake before the day ended, needing her with them for a meeting the following day. They would let the girl heal, but Marrue knew her superiors would force the girl even if she couldn't stand.

"It was a mistake leaving him in the sick bay for so long." Natarle spoke, breaking the silence as they walked down the hall. "And then there's the fact that he was left briefly unattended."

"Yes…" Marrue sighed. She had been uncomfortable leaving him without a watch, but Mai had promised he wouldn't cause any trouble for anyone and she volunteered to bring him his food. Natarle did not know what she and Mu did, so she couldn't tell her that the two Coordinators were somehow connected.

"Firearms management is lax; we have no choice but to report this incident as well."

"You're right. Add it to your report."

"Captain." Natarle's footsteps stopped. Marrue turned to her. "Please try to understand. I'm not criticizing you under any sort of personal dislike. I'm merely trying to point out the vital importance of maintaining some semblance of order, and that doesn't change simply because of field promotions and emergency situations."

Marrue smiled. She knew she was right, but the words still stung. "I understand. The principal of it anyway."

"The military must be regulated. It requires both soldiers who follow the orders of their superiors, and commanders who can see the larger picture and make the appropriate decision. Otherwise, the cannot be victorious orhope to survive in battle. "

"Some of us know that, but still can't do it." Marrue's thoughts went to the girl in the sick bay. She wished she could let the girl be free, but she knew the ship needed her. Now that they were in Alaska, her superiors wouldn't let her go. "Lieutenant, I'm fully aware of the fact that I'm not suited for this position."

"Captain, I only meant -!"

Marrue raised her hand to silence Natarle. "It's alright. I already know the truth Natarle. A lot has come between us, but I am truly grateful for all of your help." She turned to continue down the hall. "There's no doubt in my mind that you would make a fine captain someday."

Kira closed his eyes, feeling the ocean wind on his face. Even though the place was so peaceful, his mind made it hard to rest. His memories of Tolle flashed in his mind, from the times where he would make them laugh, or the times where he would defend Kira. It didn't matter to Tolle who or what he was, all that he cared about was that they were friends. When Mai came aboard the ship, Tolle didn't take long to accept her just as well. He could feel his tears resurface when remembering Tolle's final moments.

"What are you looking at?"

The sudden voice surprised him, turning to see Lacus behind him. He looked back at the ocean and sighed. The air about the girl reminded him too much of Mai, always hoping she was the one standing there, worried about him. He was grateful to Lacus, but there was still a part of him that longed to be somewhere else.

"Oh Kira… You look like you've had such sad dreams."

Several minutes of silence passed between them before Kira finally gained his voice. "I am sad." So many fights came across his mind, so many lives that he had taken. The pain that he had seen in Mai's eyes when she had shouted at him, then the regret on her face; it tormented him. "Many people have died. And I've killed many people. "

The tears fell from his eyes, landing on his arms that were resting on the railing. He felt Lacus rest a hand on the side of his head, trying to comfort him. "You had to fight as hard as could. You protected many things." Kira looked at her, surprised by her words. "I'm certain of that. But now…"

For a moment, her face turned serious. Kira wondered what had changed, but her mood changed before he could question her. "I know! Let's have something to eat, shall we?" She grabbed one of his arms with hers, and began to lead her away. The little robot she called Haro was shouting 'No problem!' on the table nearby. "Come on, you must be starving! I'll go reheat the food!"

"But…"

"Besides, you still need to be getting your rest!"

"I won't accept that!" The little robot chimed in, bouncing after them. "I won't accept that!"

"Everything will be alright. This is still a place of peace."

The group stood, saluting the men in front of them. Mu eyed the girl beside him, worried that she was going to collapse any moment.

Right as they were leaving the Archangel, Mai had come running up to them, saying she was ready to go. He had tried to get her to go back to the sick bay, but Natarle had cut in. If she could stand and walk, then she was coming with them. The girl moved without showing any sign of injury, but her skin was still pale. It was hard to tell if her wound had even stopped bleeding.

Three men walked to the large desk, saluting them in return. The middle man spoke first. "I am Captain William Sutherland of the general staff. I have been put in charge of all instructions and deliberations pertaining to the Eighth Fleet's Archangel. Please be seated."

The group took their seats as the man continued. "We've already the log data from the navigation computer and are analyzing it now." Mai felt uncomfortable in that room, feeling the strangers eyes on her, even as she sat behind her captain. The group was surrounded on all sides by soldiers typing everything he said. "I must say Captain Ramius, your combat record is impressive." He motioned to the large screen on the wall behind them. "Now I think we'd like to have you all give us a detailed report and testimony regarding the proceeding events. This hearing is being run according to regulations by a court martial, and in keeping procedure anything said here will be entered into the official record. I trust you will all tell the truth."

Mai bit her bottom lip, understanding what that met. Her eyes briefly met Mu's, who slightly shook his head. She was grateful to them, knowing they were trying to protect her.

"We will begin with file one. The situation regarding the surprise attack on Heliopolis."

Mai waited patiently as they talked, having nothing to do with the conversation. It involved the time before she had arrived on the ship, yet she listened intently. She was glad to know everything Kira and the others had been though. Mai never completely knew the circumstances of how Kira had become the pilot of the Strike. It was infuriating how that man talked about Kira, using his tone to accuse Marrue of everything that had happened. She could feel her fingers grip her skirt tightly as the man continued. Beside her, she could sense that Mu was just as angry.

"So all of this was my fault, sir." There was bitterness in Marrue's voice, and Mai wanted so much to be able to yell at this man.

"Commander Ramius, the enemies in this war are Coordinators. And you let two of them into our ranks!" His words hit Mai hard. Even if it was true, knowing Kira never cared which side he was on as long as he could protect his friends. "Because of the miraculous abilities they possess. They may be children, and civilians, but nevertheless they are still Coordinators! The facts were right in front of you and yet you failed to recognize them! It's theirexistence that has thrown this world into chaos!"

"And why is that our fault!" Mai had enough. She raised her voice, full of anger. Mu pulled her down before she could stand. "All Kira ever wanted to do was protect! It didn't matter to him who was what!"

"Be quiet!" He snapped, glaring at her. Mai flinched under his gaze. "We will get to you later! The Archangel was involved in the destruction of the Eurasion military base Artemis, was party to the annihilation of the Advance Fleet, and later led the Eighth Fleet to its demise. Not to mention you let bothCoordinators pilot our mobile weapons!"

Mu stood in Mai's place. "It wasn't like that! We were only -!"

The man cut him off. "Only what? Go on."

In front of her, Marrue stood and joined them, her own anger too much to contain. "We were following Admiral Halberton's orders!"

"And when did he start setting policy for the Earth Alliance? I must have missed that. Commander, relax. I'm not saying that you are to blame for everything that's happened." Shaking with rage, Mai felt Mu gently tug on her arm as he regained his seat. "As a matter of fact, I believe you did quite well considering the circumstances. "But, despite those sacrifices when the Archangel finally arrived in port.. it was without the all-important Strike! How can those who gave their lives for you now rest in peace? We have no choice but to make everything as clear as possible in order to determine the end results of these events and who is responsible!"

"Yet you don't listen!" Mai stood, eyes meeting the man before them. Mu tried to pull her down, but she ignored him. "Kira was a person! I am a person! We're both human! And here you are, saying it would have been better for us to die? What do you know about battle, when all you do is sit behind a desk and judge others!"

Sutherland snapped at her again, demanding for her to sit in her seat. Mai had enough with his words, determined to have her say. "You will learn your place!"

"I know my place!" She watched the men that surrounded them turn and whisper to each other, but she no longer cared. "Though I agreed to join the Earth Alliance, I don't follow your orders! Even if you drag me to another ship, you can't force me to fight. If it's not for Captian Ramius and the Archangel, I will not help you. There's nothing you can take from me, nothing you can use against me."

The room fell silent with her words. She could see the disapproval in the man's eyes, but he knew she was right. "The Ecran is still ours."

Mai shook her head. "No. It's not. The Ecran belongs to me now." She continued before he could interrupt her. "I have reprogrammed it; Of course you can take it from me, but it will not work for you. I believe it would take years for even your best programmers to decipher it.

"I am human, and I know my place."

Kira stared into his tea as he sat inside the Clyne manor. Lacus was sitting at a different table with Reverend Malchio, the man who had brought him to the PLANTS in the first place. He listened to the TV but didn't focus on the words, bored by simple news.

"I must object!" The little pink Haro jumped beside him, gaining his attention for a second. Realizing what the others were talking about and tried to listen in. Lacus was asking if it was possible to fly back to Earth with him, and Reverend Malchio promised to look into the idea.

"Next up is a musical tribute to our recent fallen star; here's concert footage featuring her popular single, 'Let It Be'!" Kira turned to watch the TV. He reached for the remote, deciding to change the channel. Music had been Miriallia's thing, making her friends listen to the newest releases when they had been in school.

The music started softly, but quickly became upbeat. They showed footage of the screaming crowd, fans waving towards the cameras. Slowly, he could see footage of the guitarist and the man on drums. Interested, he left the remote alone. Maybe the music would help him think.

Kira's eyes widened as the center of the stage became visible, the singer's body and face bright under the light. The girls hair was down, decorated curls bouncing as she swayed to the beat, waving to her fans as their screams gained volume. Her lips began to move, her voice echoing from the microphone in her hands. Without looking away, he stood, unsure of how to react. Lacus turned to him and asked him what was wrong.

"Let it be!"

Kira would never forget that voice; never confuse those eyes that shone as she sung. It was the words in the corner that confused him, scared him. It couldn't be possible, since he had been told the girl was dead.

Mai Zala smiled at the camera before starting her song again.

It felt like my heart has stopped in that moment. Years ago, my last contact with Athrun had been the news his twin sister was dead, asking to never contact him again. But there she was, singing and dancing for her fans, but as the girl I had cared so much for. The two of them were completely different, and yet exactly the same.
How did I never notice that I had fallen for the girl twice?

Kira Yamato

So the song used as an example is called "Let it be", by Tanaka Rie. I seem to be the only person on youtube who has uploaded this song, so here's the link.

www. youtube . com/watch?v=Mj-CX2BFNiw&feature=player_embedded#!

Just make sure to remove the spaces to listen! Please review!