xYuzuruRengex – Happy really belated Birthday! I know it isn't much longer, but I hope this chapter will satisfy you for a little! Athrun's reunion is right around the corner! :3 Sorry I haven't been able to update. ;; Working in retail around Christmas is tiring, but it should slow down now!

mebo1 – I hope you keep reading to find out~!

Don't forget I write the more you review! :3

"All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word:
freedom, justice, hope."

Winston Churchill

ENTRY NINETEEN: FREEDOM

"But why do you have to go?"

He placed a hand on Mai's head, trying to comfort her.

At the end of the conference with William Sutherland, the group had been given the names of those who would transfer; Mu La Flaga, Natarle Badgiruel, and Flay Allster. Mai was happy to see Flay leave, and she was indifferent with Natarle, but to see the Skygrasper pilot leave devastated her. He had grown to be more than a brother figure, like the Father she wanted but never had.

Marrue stood beside them, watching with Sai and Miriallia. The two friends refused to leave Mai's side, afraid that she would collapse at any minute. Whenever she tried to leave the sick bay, they would force her back into bed, bringing her food and water they hoped she would take. She had demanded to see Mu off, and so they agreed to walk her there. It seemed to her that the wound distracted Miriallia from her own pain, but the girl still only cried in her presence.

The rest of the crew stood down the hall, ready to salute them as they passed.

Mai bit back tears, feeling like she was losing the man in front of her forever. Mu noticed her tears, smiling to try and cheer her up.

"Hey now! Don't cry! It's not like we won't see each other again, right?"

"What if we don't?" She questioned, her voice shaking. Mai stared at the ground, knowing she'd cry if she met his eyes. "What if we never meet again?"

Sighing, Mu moved his hand to her shoulder, carefully picking his words. The girl was close to breaking again, he could see it in her tired eyes. There was little she was holding on to.

"You have to be strong, okay? I promise we'll meet again." He did his best to smile when she finally looked up at him. "I make the impossible possible, so don't forget that!"

Briefly, his smile was returned. It wasn't anything like her previous ones, but it held enough life that it gave him a little hope. Mu would be able to walk away from her knowing that she would have something to cling to until he returned.

"Let go of me! I said let go!" The familiar voice drained the smile from Mai's face as Mu watched her stand beside her friends. She hid her face behind her hair.

"I'm not going!" Natarle entered the hallway, an annoyed look on her face as she dragged Flay towards them. The pink haired girl fought against her, but Natarle's grip was strong. When they were closer, Flay turned her anger from Mai to the captain. "Why is it only me?"

"That's enough!" Natarle snapped. "These orders are from headquarters, so there's nothing you can do."

Flay pulled her hand away from her before the captain began to speak. "What she says is true." It upset Marrue that the girl had been put in such a position, yet it eased her to watch Flay go. The atmosphere for Mai would be better, and Marrue hoped it would help her heal. "Because they're direct orders from headquarters, there's nothing I can do about them. I'm sorry. If you'd like, you can attempt to file an appeal to the central office to transfer. "

"It won't do any good." Natarle ignored Flay's horrified look and turned to say her farewells.

Kira stared out into the rain, his tea cup frozen at his lips. He hadn't noticed it was raining and it distracted him, reminding him of a moment in his past.

"Come on! The rain is nice!"The bell like voice echoed in his head. Kira could picture her smile as she called her friends to join her. Athrun and he had been passing by, but his friend had quickly proceeded to lecture her and try to get her out of the rain. He remembered being fascinated as he watched her dance with her friends, her shorter blue hair bouncing around her face. At one point, she had smiled at waved at him.

Kira placed his cup back on the saucer, staring into the liquid. Ever since the previous day every little thing had reminded him of something; even in his dreams did he see her in some form.

He wasn't sure why everything happened like it did and it made him wonder. Why was Mai alive when he had been told otherwise? Why was the same girl out of his reach a second time?

"Kira, do you like the rain?"

He turned to Lacus, who was playing with her pink Haro on the ground close to him. They were sitting outside in a glass canopy as they waited for Lacus' father to join them like he did every day since he awakened. Kira found himself falling into a pattern surrounded by such a peaceful lifestyle.

Kira had asked her about Mai, curious and terrified after seeing her on the television. He learned that Mai became a singer first before being the inspiration for Lacus to join in the idea. Mai and her were close friends even before Athrun was arranged to marry Lacus, and Lacus believed she was still alive somewhere. When Kira decided to tell her why he had panicked, what was hurting him, she seemed shocked at first. It didn't take her long to return to her happy self, telling the machine that followed her how happy everyone would be once they learn Mai was alive.

"I'm glad the two of you are so close now." She had said, smiling as usual. "She had been so upset when they were summoned home."

Kira turned back to the window. "I was thinking about how strange all of this is. I was thinking… what am I doing here?"

"If you had your choice, where would you want to be?"

"I really don't know." Kira answered Lacus, unsure of what he wanted.

If he returned to her, would she forgive him? Lacus had told him Athrun was all Mai had, their father not being a complete part of their lives. Would she forgive him for taking such an important person away from her?

If he did return, would he fight against Zaft again? Fight by her side to protect the Archangel? He was helpless now, his Strike destroyed. What chance did he have?

"Do you dislike it here, Kira?"

Kira turned at her question, seeing the confused look on her face. "Well… is it okay for me to be here?"

"As far as I'm concerned? Of course it's okay!"

"The time will come when you will realize where you should be going." He faced the man in front of him; Reverend Malchio. "That is when you will know what exactly you should be doing."

Kira wanted to remain there, where it was safe. Where it was peaceful. Mai and the others were supposed to be in Alaska, and the thought eased Kira only slightly. She would be safe as well, but how long would it last? He didn't want to return to only be a tool.

"For that is what it means to be the bearers of the Seed."

Kira finally raised his cup to take a drink, turning his attention back to the machine in Lacus' arms. He had learned it was a gift from Athrun, who had made his Birdy as well as Mai's Mewmo. It explained why Birdy had quickly grown so fond of her.

Kira turned when the glass door slide open and Siegel Clyne walked inside from the main house. He was an older man, reminding Kira of his own father. His forehead was creased with worry lines, his quick smile not truly reaching his tired eyes.

The man turned his attention towards the blind Reverend. "It's just not possible. Not even if you wanted to use your shuttle, flights to Earth simply are not being allowed to take off."

The beeping sound of the communication link gained their attention, an incoming call showing on the glass to the side. A soldier's voice was heard. "A call for Mr. Clyne from Eileen Canaver."

Lacus' father walked towards the image as Kira thought about what he had said. He was unable to return to Earth, the choice made for him. It left a heavy weight in his stomach. "Clyne here."

A woman appeared on the communication link, wearing the same uniform as Siegel Clyne. Lacus quickly explained that they were members of the council. "I've got bad news, Clyne. It appears that Zala has deceived us."

The name perked Kira's interest, knowing they were talking about Mai and Athrun's father. When they were younger Mai never talked highly of her father like she did her mother, but he had been Athrun's role model for as long as he could remember. Had that changed with the destruction of Junius 7?

"How so?"

"Panama isn't Operation Spit Breaks target! It's Alaska!"

Kira felt his body freeze, the cup falling from his numb hands and shattering the saucer on the table. Lacus was at his side in seconds, asking him what was could see the blood roll off of his finger, but he couldn't feel the cut. There was nothing he could feel except the growing pain in his chest.

All of the Zaft forces were heading to attack Alaska, the Earth Alliance Headquarters, instead of Panama where all of their defensives were. Alaska stood unprotected; the only thing to stand in the way was the Archangel.

The Captain. Mu La Flaga. His friends. The crew and the mechanics.

Mai.

Mai.

He had to return. Kira needed to be with her. Her smile, her voice, her laughter; everything. Though he had no way to protect her, he just wanted to be by her side, even if she remained out of his reach.

"I have to go back."

"I told you not to fall asleep here…" Sai mumbled, rubbing his temples after placing a blanket on the shoulders of the sleeping girl. Miriallia had not left Mai's side after the girl almost collapsed again, asking to go back to the infirmary.

The doctor told them she had lost more blood, saying he had warned her not to move only to be ignored. Sai apologized, trying to put the blame on himself for agreeing to take her to see the others off.

He looked down at her, but quickly away. She was too still, the only sign of life he could see was the rising and falling of her chest. Before he had left, the doctor had attached an oxygen mask to her face.

Mai had been able to see the worry on Sai's face and tried to smile as she fell asleep.

He sighed, sitting against the opposite bedframe and watching the robot animals by her head. It was strange to him that they never left her side.

The captain had said she would only call for them when they were needed, so he was determined to stay by her side. Even though Sai wasn't to blame, he still felt responsible for Mai's wound. He never expected such an action from Flay; Sai would never be able to make it up to her, even if he spent his whole life under her service.

Sai closed his eyes, his nose cringing at the iron smell of blood at the same time Athrun touched his side.

Athrun was unsure what was wrong, but he found himself often touching his side. It had only started a couple days previous, and the concern led him to a doctor only to discover there was nothing. A phantom injury, he was told. The idea concerned him, wondering if his sister had felt this pain before her death; the only time he would ever feel such things had been when she was hurt. Whenever one of them was hurt, the other would know no matter how far apart they were. Athrun remembered breaking his arm once when they were in school, his sister finding him in the infirmary on her break saying she felt something was wrong.

He closed the suitcase in his lap, the promotion badge having no use to the empty void in his chest. The aircraft began to lift off the ground, flashing the warning signal for passengers not to stand.

His father was waiting to see him.

"Big brother!" she cried, the familiar blue of his hair disappearing into the trees. "Wait!"

Mai watched the scene play in her head, a memory she did not want. Her younger self ran on the trail from the beach, the twins hurrying to make it back in time before they were scolded. They were told not to take that pass, warned it was dangerous, but the two decided to take the risk. Her younger self ran desperately, trying to hold the shells in her hand as well as keep up with her brother. She had fallen so behind, she could no longer see him.

"Brother!" she felt the tears falling down her cheeks, panicking with each step she took. Their father would be mad if they were late, so they needed to hurry. Though she understood that, she wished her brother had stayed with her like he had promised.

The young girl slipped, her scream echoing through the trees.

"Mai?" Athrun returned to search for his sister, not noticing she had fallen so far behind. The scream worried him, frantically looking for any sign of her. "Mai! Where are you?" His eyes caught one of the shells on the ground, another on the edge of the slope. The slope was deep, dangerous, so he gripped a tree branch as he peered down.

The scene melted away, returning Mai to her frozen nightmare. She was the same age as before, in the same city as before, but her white dress was covered in the blood that surrounded her.

A bloody knife rested at her feet. The sight of it scared her, stumbling back and slipping on the ice. She fell to the ground, burying her face in her arms as the snow licked her frozen skin.

There was no point in moving, no names for her to call. No one could save her from her prison.

The sound of the alarm woke her, but she was glad for the temporary release. She would take the pain of reality over that nightmare any day.

The situation clicked in her mind and she sprang to her feet. They were under attack. She knew not why, but it didn't matter. The ship was her responsibility; it was her job to protect it. Mai would fight until she could no longer move.

Running into the hall, she ignored the pain from her side. She was still wearing the white night gown from the infirmary, bringing attention to her as she passed. Many reached out to stop her, but she was too quick for them to grasp. There was no need for the locker room, so she ran straight into the hanger, shouts of the crew following after her.

The lift welcomed her, bringing her closer to her Ecran. She waved to the angry head mechanic as he demanded for her to stop, stepping into the cockpit.

When her Ecran sprang to life, she ignored the new worried shouts.

"Ensign Hitamaru! You should be resting!"

Mai shook her head as her fingers ran over the key pad. "I'm fine, Captain. Besides, you need me now more than ever, right?"

Marrue could not argue, distraught written on her face. They had lost both Kira and Mu, so she was the last defence the ship had. She paused before continuing, choosing what action to take. "Are you sure?"

"I am sure." She could hear Miriallia sobbing, begging her not to fight. There was nothing she could say to ease her worries.

The Archangel had already been thrown into chaos when she launched. Mai didn't need to look around to understand what was happening. Panama had never been the target. This had been the plan all along.

Alaska was going to fall.

She watched and waited, aiming at the incoming missiles. Two remained, hitting the ship on both sides of her. Mai gritted her teeth, her body thrown around in her seat.

What could she do? How could she save them?

Even with her Seed broken, she couldn't see any signs of victory.

"Captain! What do we do?"

"There's no word from headquarters!"

"I keep getting the same message on all four channels: All units hold your ground and defend against the enemy!"

Kuzzey's panic had her worried as well; maybe the connection had been cut, or even they were unsure what to do in such a situation. Mai's heart dropped as she shot more missiles out of the sky, a horrifying realization forming in her mind. She hoped it wasn't real, that is was just her imagination over analyzing the small details.

Mai aimed for an aircraft that was heading straight for them, but stopped when she saw the smoke. It was an Earth ship, but the communication link had been cut between them. "Captain, it's an Earth ship! Please tell everyone to move out of the way!"

"What? It's trying for a crash landing?"

Mai watched the aircraft disappear into the ship, the distraction long enough for her Ecran to take another hit. The warning signal flashed as she lost a large part of her energy.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Mai looked to her communication link at the sound of Marrue's voice, a familiar face in view besides her. The sight brought hope and a smile to Mai, forcing her mind to pay attention to the battle ahead of her.

"Keep hanging in there kid!" Mu ignored Marrue for a brief second to encourage Mai, knowing she needed it.

"Right!"

"What about your transfer?"

"That's not important! We have to get out of here right now!"

Mai jumped up, her Ecran tearing a DiNN off of the ship and to the ocean below. Two more shot at her from different directions, but she ignored both of them to knock more missiles out of the sky. The ship was her priority.

"Listen! There's a large Cyclops system underneath headquarters; that thing is powerful enough to turn everything within ten kilometres into a blast furnace!"

Afraid to admit it, Mai had been right.

"It's impossible to defend the base with what's left, and the reinforcements from Panama won't make it on time! Once the main gate comes down, that's when headquarters will make their move and destroy the base!"

"They planned to sacrifice us from the beginning." Normally her voice would have been low enough for them to hear, but her microphone picked it up as they fell quiet. The idea of what Mu had confirmed made her panic again, knowing what would be lost. "More than half of the Zaft Forces are here!"

"It can't be!"

"I saw it with my own eyes! The command center was completely empty. The Archangel is all that's left other than those on the base!"

Mai heard the suffering in Marrue's voice, understanding why it was so hard for her to believe what she was hearing. "But… that's…"

"They have no use for us, so they've thrown us away."

Mu added to her point. "The Archangel is to put up a final battle so the enemy doesn't know it's abandoned."

Sobbing echoed in her cockpit, Miriallia's voice breaking Mai's concentration. "So what? We're supposed to just be good soldiers and die like we're told?"

"No!" Mai wouldn't allow it. She would get them to safety, no matter what it took. "Captain, please! We need to get away from here!"

Everyone waited in silence, listening to the sound of Miriallia's crying as Marrue made her decision.

"If the object of the whole battle was to lure the Zaft forces closer in, then in my opinion this ship has already accomplished its mission! Note that I, Marrue Ramius make this decision alone, with no other crew member to take responsibility for this!"

The DiNN's circled her, shooting at her from all angles. When one of them got too close, she managed to slice its weapon in half before knocking it off of the ship like its ally. Her shield had become useless, so she used it to knock away the final DiNN before it could fire again.

"This ship will now abandon the battle area and begin to make its withdrawal! Signal the other ships, tell them to follow us! Engines full speed; we'll break through the left side of the bay!"

"Need some help, kid?"

Mai managed to smile at his comment, glad that he had returned to them in this final hour. "Please! I could use some!"

Remaining on the front of the ship, Mai continued to fight as she waited for the Sky Grasper to launch. Both her Ecran and the Archangel were not faring well, and even the extra help did not ease much of the attacks. The enemy was too focused on defeating her in order to take down the Archangel.

Mai's warning signal flashed above her, a familiar mobile suit heading straight for her. Yzak and his Duel. She knocked him away from her, but he fled away on his Guul before she could shoot it down. Yzak would be no threat from the sea, and it was her only hope to keep him away.

"Why now of all times?" Mu flew towards him, spinning out of the way of Yzak' shots. Mai wanted to help him, worried the Duel would be too much, but Mu insisted on her to stay with the ship.

Her attention became divided again. She was surrounded by too many mobile suits to count, the ship losing altitude underneath her. The Ecran deflected one shot with its arm, rendering the limb useless. It didn't take much longer for her Ecran's colour to drain.

Mai took a breath, watching one DiNN approaching below her, heading for the command deck of the ship. Jumping down, she stood in its way, watching it raise it weapon for her cockpit. There was no way for her to block the attack.

There was no sound, just the muffle of screams and shouts. There was no colour, only the light that gathered in the shot that would end everything.

This was the end. The Ecran would take this final enemy with her, and the rest would be left to Marrue and Mu. With her death, she could only guarantee them those few seconds, but there was nothing more she could do.

Finally, she would join those important to her in the afterlife. Her brother and Kira. Tolle and Nicol.

Her mother.

Mai closed her eyes and waited for the pain to vanish. She waited, but it never came.

The sudden explosion was loud, startling her back to reality. The orange smoke cleared, the broken DiNN retreating from her. Quickly, she realized it wasn't her it was fleeing from but the new mobile suit that stood in front of her.

The sight of it froze her in place despite her instinct telling her to run. Its markings were white, black and blue with multiple wing-like features attached to its back. The new mobile suit was only slightly larger than hers, but the sight of it alone made her Ecran seem dull in comparison. When the wings spread, its span was unlike anything she had ever seen.

It was both terrifying and majestic; who was it that had saved her?

Without any energy the Ecran began to slip off the Archangel, Mai panicking to grip the ship. The stranger still frightened her, even after it gave her a boost onto the top of the ship. Three missiles were spotted to her left, managing to only shoot down one of them. Her beam Rifle was feeding off of the Archangel's power, but held no strength without her Ecran. Mai watched the stranger fire at the other two, flying back to the sky as they exploded in the air.

"This is Kira Yamato! I'll cover you, but in the meantime please withdraw to safety!"

Mai's breath caught in her throat. Her mind knew it was impossible, but the heart beat that echoed in her head craved for it to be true. His name escaped her lips while a few burning tears fell down her cheeks. How many days had they been desperate to fall?

"Kira?"

"It is Kira!"

"Our Kira?"

They had heard the voice too; her mind wasn't playing tricks on her. Even if she heard the truth, part of her still denied it. Was she really being allowed even a small amount of happiness? She watched his new mobile suit dance in the air, destroying the oncoming enemy's weapons.

When they had taken no action, Kira's face appeared on her communication link. "Please stop wasting time! You have to withdraw!"

Mai's tears fell heavier; the sight of him had her heart ready to burst. The brown hair she had grown used to seeing framed his face under his red helmet. The violet eyes she loved so much shone under the lights in his cock pit. She covered her mouth with both hands to stop herself from crying out to him.

Kira was alive.

The others seemed to be struggle with the news just as she had. Though Kira appeared on her comlink, she knew he was looking at the captain. Mai could hear the shaking in Marrue's voice. "We know that, but… well… There's a Cyclops! Beneath headquarters! We're all just bait!" Kira listened to her without flinching, his mobile suit effortlessly shooting DiNN's out of the sky. Each enemy fell intact, rendered useless and forced to retreat. "They planned this; we had no idea! That's why we can't withdraw! We have to get further away from the base!"

Kira's face changed then, the meaning dawning on him. "I understand." Mai's comlink alerted her that Kira's attention had finally been switched, looking at her for the first time. In the first few seconds, they stared at each other; Mai's silent sobs the only exchange. Kira smiled gently at her, eyes worried at the sight of her tears. "Mai." The soft way he said her name sent chills down her spine. "Please stay with the ship. You've done well, but leave it to me."

Unable to find her voice, all she could do was nod to show she understood. He smiled again before disconnecting their link.

"Attention all Zaft and Earth Alliance Forces! A Cyclops System will soon activate and the Alaska base will self-destruct! Both sides please cease fire and leave this area immediately!"

Mai watched in wonder as his mobile suit exploded with multi-coloured shots, lighting the sky as he repeated his statement. She wished more than anything at that moment she could connect with the Zaft ship and help him, but it was far out of reach for her Ecran. Kira's actions meant he was no longer fighting for one side, but to protect both. Mai found herself without time to think about it, Sai warning them about the activation of the system.

I remember how I felt as I waved goodbye to Kira, watching him disappear with the Freedom. There was only one way the war would end, and I knew only a certain few would have been able to change the direction the world was heading. They were the ones that needed to choose what to do, what was right.
Kira was the drop that created the ripple in the pond.

Lacus Clyne