Chapter 3

Tim threw himself to the floor and crawled under his desk, his hands over his ears.

"Stop it! Stop it!" he shouted.

It was too late to protect Tim from anyone seeing him. It might have worked if he'd been quiet...but he wasn't. Tony ran over to Tim's desk, and crouched down.

"McGee. Shut up! Quiet!" he said in a low voice.

Tim's expression was one of terror and he wasn't hearing Tony.

"What's going on?"

"Is that Tim?"

"What's wrong?"

Too many people and Tim was hiding under his desk, freaking out about something. Before Tony could think of something to say to diffuse the situation (Was that really even possible?), Gibbs came in.

"DiNozzo!"

Tony looked at Gibbs...and he knew that his expression was helpless at best. Gibbs raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know, Boss."

Suddenly, Tim went quiet.

"Oh, no."

That was all he said.

"McGee?"

There were a few seconds of silence and then, Tim crawled out from under his desk looking both embarrassed and frightened.

"My office," Gibbs said. "Now."

Tim nodded.

"Tony, you, too."

Tony followed, relieved that he was being included in this thing. Tim might not know what was causing it, but Tony was sure that it had something to do with the whole knower thing. They walked to the elevator, aware that there were a lot of eyes on them. Tony looked at Tim who was actually trembling a little bit and was barely paying attention to anything.

They got on the elevator and it moved for all of two seconds before Gibbs stopped it.

"What's going on?"

"I'm not sure, Boss," Tim said shakily.

"What did you see, Tim?" Tony asked.

"Murder...by a monster," Tim said with a helpless laugh. "And I was hiding. ...and I don't even know...Boss...I..."

"This isn't the first time?"

"Not today, but I've never had this before."

"What is it?"

"I don't know. It's like I'm seeing nightmares...but I don't know why. Boss, really! I don't know!"

"Shouldn't you know?"

Tim stared at the floor of the elevator.

"I don't know. I feel like...like I'm lost."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Greta decided to test how many nightmares the knower's mind could bear at once. At some point, it would just be a wash of noise...but a horrifying wash. She opened the basket and shook out a few of them and then blew them on their way.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

It was like all the horror of the demon world rolled into one insane assault on his mind. Occasionally, he would be able to track in on one piece of the madness, but he didn't want to because what he saw was terrible.

At one moment, there were bugs crawling out of his skin and he tore at them. At another moment, he was stuck in quicksand and slowly sinking into inevitable oblivion. At another, he was drowning and he couldn't breathe. There seemed to be no end to the horror.

The only thing that kept his mind from breaking completely beneath the onslaught was the fragile tendril that knew these weren't his nightmares. His only dreams now were reminders of what would happen to the world when it fractured.

These were nightmares. Not realities, just nightmares. Terrors. Horrors. But not real.

Not real.

They weren't real.

Then, he thought he saw something.

A dreamcatcher.

Before he had the chance to wonder about that, there were stinging sensations on his face. Lots of them. They hurt.

He opened his eyes...and saw...

"Ducky?" he asked. "Where did you come from?"

"Where I always have, lad," Ducky said. His expression was almost one of fear.

That seemed like a strange answer, but then, Tim looked around and realized he was no longer in the elevator. He was in Autopsy.

With Ducky staring at him in concern.

Then, he realized, too, that he couldn't move his arms. He tugged experimentally at whatever was holding them back and made another realization.

He was being restrained. He turned his head and saw both Tony and Gibbs holding him. He wondered what he should say because something bad had obviously happened, something that had gone well beyond what Tony was ready to deal with...and given the fact that Tony had dealt with a lot in the last couple of years, that was saying something.

"Did you see the dreamcatcher?" he asked. Actually, that probably wasn't the best way to start.

"What dreamcatcher, Tim?" Tony asked.

"Am I going crazy?" Tim asked.

Tony said nothing; so Tim shifted his gaze to Gibbs.

"Am I going crazy, Boss?"

"It's beyond my experience, McGee," Gibbs said.

That was more diplomatic than Gibbs had probably ever been in his life. Tim turned back to look at Ducky. As he did, he noticed long scratches on his arms.

"Did I do that to myself?" he asked softly.

"Yes, Timothy," Ducky said.

"That's why I've got Tony and Gibbs holding me down?"

"Yes."

"Did you really need both of them?"

"Yes," Ducky said again. "You nearly flung yourself headfirst into the wall, Timothy. Then, when we stopped that, you started scratching at your arms. Then, you were just screaming. What happened?"

"I saw things. Nightmares," Tim said. "Can I have my arms back now?"

Tony and Gibbs let him go and Tim sat up on the Autopsy table, dangling his feet toward the floor. He took a deep breath and let it out. That had been intense.

"Timothy..."

"You think I'm nuts," Tim said. It wasn't a question. He could see it in Ducky's eyes.

"At the very least, there is something wrong. This is not normal behavior for you."

Tim smiled a little. "No, it's not."

"It was of sudden onset?"

"Just started this morning. Very suddenly."

"You had no indication of any kind of...trigger?"

Tim laughed as the image of the dreamcatcher welled up in his mind. Then, he shook his head.

"No."

Suddenly, the entire situation struck him as amazingly absurd. He figured that there was something going on in the supernatural realm that was causing this, but how in the world could he tell anyone besides Tony (and possibly, Gibbs) about that? He would sound insane! ...but his actions right now were those of someone who was completely unhinged, i.e. insane. That meant that, no matter what he did, he was going to be thought of as crazy. He couldn't help but laugh again. He ran both his hands through his hair and shook his head. If this didn't stop, he'd be in lockdown by the end of the day. Ducky was about to suggest it, Tim was sure.

...but, at the same time, he couldn't help but think that might be kind of nice. No needing to hide things. No needing to pretend he was normal. If he was in a psychiatric facility, he could tell his entire story and not have to worry about anything because there's no way anyone would believe him. It was actually tempting.

"Timothy?"

"You're going to say that I should go to the nuthouse," Tim said.

"No, but perhaps a psychiatric evaluation might be in order. If you can give no explanation for what happened."

"Ducky, he's not crazy!" Tony said from behind him.

"I didn't say he was, Anthony, but there could be another cause, one that we just don't know as yet."

Tim couldn't help it. He laughed again. Another cause indeed. That dreamcatcher. He was tired. He didn't want to fight whatever this was. If it was Greta, fine. If he was genuinely going crazy, becoming unhinged from all the things that had happened, fine. He was tired and maybe being treated as a nut would make his life a little easier for a while.

"Timothy, what is it?"

Tim turned around and looked at Tony. He raised an eyebrow and smiled a little. Tony squinted at him quizzically. Then, Tim turned back.

"What are you suggesting, Ducky?" Tim asked.

"That you allow me to take you to a friend of mine who works in the psychiatric unit of a hospital. They'll keep you under observation for 72 hours at most. They may be able to find out what the problem is."

"They won't."

"You don't think there's anything wrong?"

"I didn't say that," Tim said. "But can you see any reason for what happened?"

"Tim!"

"Shut up, Tony," Tim said, feeling weary. There just didn't seem to be any reason to fight against what was going on. At least, if he was having a breakdown in a psychiatric holding cell, it would be expected. "What if they don't figure it out? What then, Ducky?"

"It depends on what develops. If it gets resolved on its own, they may never figure it out."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Greta pulled open the basket and searched around. What would come next? Another full assault or just one particular chosen nightmare?

"Have you not been listening?"

She looked over at the whirl of black.

"I have."

"You are not worried?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because the knower is not worried. Even if he has not understood, he knows."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tim closed his eyes suddenly and then, they flew open again and he was no longer seeing anything. The difference was that, this time, he made no noise at all except for noisy irregular breathing. His fists clenched tightly and his eyes almost seemed to bug out of his head.

"Tim! Tim!"

Tim didn't respond to Tony. He was backing away from whatever he was seeing, and Gibbs was keeping him from falling off the table. Tony looked at Gibbs and caught his glance, but Tony couldn't say. Tim wasn't using the link he'd created...whether intentionally or otherwise, who knew? They hadn't had any reason to use it since Tim had absorbed the dreamer. Maybe, he couldn't. Maybe, he wasn't on purpose.

...but right now, Tim was as cut off from Tony as he was from reality itself.

"Timothy, can you hear me?"

Nothing.

Then, as suddenly as it had begun, it stopped. Tim blinked and looked around.

"What did you see, Tim?" Tony asked.

Tim shook his head, unwilling or unable to describe whatever had caused him to show such fear.

A nightmare. Tony wished that Tim had not decided to come to work. There was no way of avoiding what Ducky was suggesting...and Tim didn't seem interested in avoiding it anyway. He just seemed tired and resigned. Tony didn't want to see Tim going to the looney bin when he wasn't crazy, but he was getting the feeling that it was what Tim wanted...for whatever reason.

"Timothy?"

"Do whatever, Ducky," Tim said softly. "I don't care."

"McGee," Gibbs said, stopping Ducky from moving for a moment.

"Yeah, Boss?"

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

Tim looked at Gibbs. He shook his head.

"No, but I don't see how I can pretend that it would be better not to go."

"Okay."

Tim started to stand up, but Tony held him back for a second. Gibbs and Ducky went into Ducky's office to call over.

"Why are you doing this, Tim?" Tony asked. "You know you're not crazy."

Tim surprised him by smiling a little.

"No, I don't, Tony. It's possible that all this stuff that's been going on has just become too much and my mind can't take it."

"No. Sorry, McGee, but I can't accept that. And I don't think you believe it, either. Why?"

Tim sighed. "Tony, I'm tired. I'm tired of being in the supernatural world. I'm tired of having to keep it all a secret. I'm tired of being someone that no one else will even believe exists. I'm just tired. If I go, then, I don't have to hide anything because they think I'm crazy anyway. Maybe I can figure this out there when I don't have to waste all this time trying to pretend that I'm normal."

"It's easy to go in a place like that, Tim...but it might be harder to get out."

Tim actually smiled as Ducky and Gibbs looked like they were coming out.

"It's only hard to get out if you can't control reality." He looked at Ducky. "Am I going?"

"Yes. If that does not go against your wishes."

"It doesn't."

"Very well, then, I will take you over. Remember, Timothy, that this is temporary and whatever is going on, may also be temporary."

Tim smiled.

"I know. Let's go."

Tony watched them leave. Gibbs paused.

"Well?"

"It's what he wants, Boss. I can't go against that if it's what he wants."

"Does he know?"

"Not that he's telling me."

Gibbs nodded and walked out.

Tony wondered what was going on. Was it Greta again?

As if in answer, he thought he heard something. It wasn't what he would have thought he'd be hearing, but it was there.

"Hear my silent prayer
Heed my quiet call
When the dark and blue surround you
Step into my sigh
Look inside the light
You will know that I have found you"

"Who is that?" Tony asked. He turned around and caught a glimpse of white eyes...but it wasn't her usual words...not that he had heard, anyway.

There was something going on, something more. Tim wasn't crazy...but the world might be.