Blitz12: :D Soon soon soon! Here's another one~ I'll send you some details soon about the Ecran, but it's real late right now and I want to post this so badly!
Hitomi65: Thank you!
xXFallenSakuraXx52: I did it! I'm sorry I make you impatient, but thank you for being so faithful! I'll be writing the next one as soon as I can!
Shirahane Aikawa: I'm so sorry I fail at updating. Orz I can promise two things; obviously no KXL, and no AXC either! ;P I never really understood Shinn and Luna either, but I have a plan for that as well. Please keep being demanding! It really does help me write! I have to remember I'm not just writing this story for me. :3
Read it in 1/2 scale! It makes it look a lot better!
"That was the thing. You never get used to it, the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think it's reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you, and it just hits you all over again, that shock."
Sarah Dressen
ENTRY TWENTY ONE: CHOICE
Miriallia paused in the hallway, eyeing the bars of the cells carefully and tightening the grip on the tray in her hands. When she had questioned the kitchen staff about the only plate of food left, knowing that Sai had just left to bring the wounded girl her own, Mir had been told that the only one left was the prisoner. The worker had admitted to forgetting, explaining how Mai was the only one who would take the meals to him.
Deciding to take her place she had grabbed the food, knowing that her friend would be worried about it the moment she woke up. Now however, she almost regretted the decision.
"Meal's ready." She mumbled when she finally reached his cell. The enemy pilot lifted his head to here as she slide the tray inside. "It's been a little hectic. Sorry for the delay."
A moment passed as the boy stared at her, and she could feel her own annoyance growing even before their eyes made contact. "What is it?"
The boy sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Ah, nothing. I guess I'm just surprised to see you're the one that brought it here, honey. After what happened."
"Honey!" Miriallia cried at him with hateful shock. The girl was so frustrated by his presence she wished she could just open the door and kick him.
Realizing what he had said, Dearka raised his hands in front of his body. "Sorry! I meant no insult ma'am."
She huffed, turning her eyes away from him. "My name is Miriallia. Don't call me ma'am either. I'm only here because Mai is still recovering."
"Is she okay?" Miriallia could hear the worry in his voice, deciding to tell him the truth about the situation. Mai knew him personally, she had learned, so maybe he wasn't as bad as she felt. Yet, she could still never forgive him for Tolle.
"She's moving around now, and the wound is finally starting to heal."
"That's good." The relief in his voice was strong, causing her to look at him again. He smirked, and she was suddenly weary of what he was about to say. "So, does that mean I can call you by your name?"
"No!" She snapped, turning quickly to leave. Miriallia would be happy if she never had to talk to him again.
Mai tilted her head, unable to tear her eyes away from the sight before her.
The ZGMF-X10A Freedom.
Leaning on the railing of the pilots bridge, she still felt her Ecran was extremely inferior to the majestic machine, even though its power was off. How had Kira come across such a thing? Did Zaft create it? Were there more to worry about?
With so many unanswered questions, Mai tried to think of possible answers while she began to hum to herself.
Apparently, the Archangel had arrived in ORB earlier that morning. She had overheard the staff, after a while of being curious why no one paid her any attention. She was grateful for it however, since it allowed her the freedom to move around without getting caught. Miriallia had yet to find her. The girl would be furious.
Truth was, Mai was feeling a little better. Well enough, at least, to be wearing her normal pink uniform and to be walking around like nothing was wrong. Mentally however, she wondered if she'd ever recover. She pulled the locket out from under her shirt, hesitating to look inside. Kira was alive. It seemed almost impossible that Athrun was not.
"He's alive, you know."
Mai raised her head to the source, startled by both the words and who it was. Kira had been unsure whether to approach her as he listened to her voice, knowing now what that locket truly meant. He began to explain when he realized how confused she was. "Cagalli told me while you were asleep. That island; ORB had gone looking for survivors, and he was the only one they found."
Kira watched as her tears immediately began to fall, even though it seemed she had yet to process the information.
"Alive!" she managed out, wiping the tears away before Kira could himself. They showed no sign of stopping. "Thank goodness!"
Kira found himself smiling at her new happiness, glad he could be the one to tell her. Would she ever forgive him, for trying to take her brother away in the first place?
"What about you? Who found you?" she questioned quickly, wanting to know everything all at once. Not matter how she tried, she couldn't stop crying. "How did you end up with Zaft?"
Mai paused and looked to him through her tears. "I'm sorry, that's too much at once."
Still smiling, Kira shook his head. He decided that it was safe to close the distance between them, a simple metre feeling like the other side of Earth. He reached out, again wiping the tears away like he had in the infirmary. Kira felt as her arms rested on his, as neither of them wanted to move away.
"Reverend Malchio found me, and brought me to the PLANTs, to Lacus Clyne." Mai's eyes widened at the name, surprised to hear it from him. "When I told her I wanted to return, she gave me the Freedom, so I'd have the power to make a difference. That's why, I'm not going back to the Earth Forces, and I won't fight for Zaft."
"Does Lacus know?" Kira didn't have to ask in order to understand what she wanted to know.
Kira explained how he had seen her on the television, one of her last concerts. He had told Lacus, but she was the only one. Mai's heart tore at itself; if Lacus knew, and Athrun was alive, would she have told him? Does he know now that she had been the second pilot the entire time? Would he be furious, or would there be guilt? Would he feel betrayed? Her tears were slowing, but she released a small whimper from her lips.
She wanted to see Athrun so much.
Kira's smile fell, remembering what else he had wanted to do when they met. "Murderer!" she had once screamed at him, but it was only so much later that he understood.
"I'm sorry." She looked to him again, brows furrowing with confusion. "For what I did to Athrun. For… killing the other pilot as well. You knew him, didn't you."
"Nicol." It was Kira's turn to be confused. Her sobbing resumed, but he didn't know what to say to calm her. "His name was Nicol! His big sister is one of my dear friends! And he… he loved the piano!"
Mai was unsure why she felt like Kira needed to know those things; maybe because it felt he needed to understand Nicol as a person rather than just being an enemy. "I met him only once, but I miss him so much!"
Once, months before, Mai had held Kira as he cried, tried to ease his pain after so much life had been lost and he had felt helpless. He swallowed the lump in his throat, deciding to take the risk and pull her close. He was so sure she would deny the contact that it scared him. There was nothing else he could think to do to ease her sorrow.
Mai's small frame was shaking, arms on his chest. "I don't blame you. I just… I hate it. We're losing so much!"
Moments passed like that, and when Mai had finally stopped, Kira regretfully let her pull away. A small smile brightened her face as the last of her tears slipped down her cheeks.
"Kira! Mai!" They turned at the sound of their names, seeing Cagalli running onto the bridge towards them. The blond was still catching her breath when the two of them finally separated, the end not going unnoticed by the newcomer. She knew full well how the two must have been feeling, so she was glad she didn't interrupt a more critical moment. "My father is calling a meeting, and he wants to see you two. There's something he wants to show you."
"A Cyclops system?" Lord Uzumi sighed. "Details of the enemy invasion had been leaked to them. It seems like a rather extreme course of action to take."
Mai fiddled uncomfortably in her seat, wishing she had been allowed to stand beside everyone else rather than sitting beside Marrue.
When she had entered the room, and Cagalli had gone to introduce her to her father, the man had simply smiled and shook his head. Apparently, he and Mai's mother had known each other for a long time before she was born, and the two children had met on one of Lenore's visits. Uzumi had rested a hand on the top of her head when he told her.
More than anything, she did not like being treated differently. Even Cagalli had decided to take a soldiers stance beside Kira.
"However, you can't deny that they destroyed more than eighty percent of ZAFT's forces in a single blow." Ledonir Kisaka stated from Mai's left. She could tell the man was watching her, even as she gripped her skirt to prevent herself from saying something out of line. "To the people who planned this, it was just a logical calculation and sacrificing unwanted forces to accomplish this was simply an added bonus."
Unwanted forces. They had meant to be thrown away like they were old tools that no longer served a purpose. The thought twisted her stomach and her side was burning.
Lord Uzumi nodded, using the remote in his hand to turn on the television to Mai's right. "Here's the result."
About a minute into watching the man on the screen speak, Mai found herself covering her mouth in shock.
Death. He was glorifying death, showing hospitals full of soldiers and those revolting against governments. One shot was a man covered in blood, the nurse by his side trying to stop his bleeding. The next, a violent group protesting on the other side of the camera, one holding a sign with 'Kill the patch worker!' written in red.
"I understand why it's happening, but it's still hard to swallow." Mu grumbled behind her. Mai knew she must not be the only one who felt terrible after seeing such a thing.
"To go along with the tone of this message," Uzumi gained their attention back to him, turning the television back off, "the Atlantic Federation has been increasing its political pressure on all the neutral nations. They're being told that any state that refuses to join this new alliance or be considered an enemy nation. Of course, our own ORB is no exception."
"They just want to get their hands on ORBs power." Mai considered Cagalli's words, picturing the mobile suits in her mind. It was possible, considering how long ORB had been its own country.
"I'm sure you're all aware of this, but our nation does not refuse entry to Coordinators. We are one of the few countries that will allow anyone to enter and reside inside our borders as long as they honor the laws of our state. We believe no one should be judged by whether or not their genes have been engineered."
Mai wonder briefly about her last trip to ORB, an emergency involving one of her close friends. The short brunette she had met in Copernicus City had been in an accident with her adopted parents, and she had been the only survivor. Ami Hitamaru had been the youngest of the five girls, and her blood type was rare. Junari had been the first to call Mai to inform her, since she was one of the few who shared blood. Later that day she had arrived with Shaina and Junari, while Ritska had joined them a few days later. It wasn't a fond memory, but ORB was Ami's home, and Mai wanted to protect it.
Uzumi continued. "The only thing that labeling someone as either Coordinator or Natural does is create friction between people. Cagalli is a Natural. Kira, of course, is a Coordinator." Mai turned her head slightly, smiling at Cagalli's embarrassed face as attention was called to her. "These are facts we have absolutely no control over."
"You're right, sir."
"I cannot support the policies of the Atlantic Federation, because it labels every Coordinator as evil, and an enemy. Insisting on attacking them for that biased reason alone. Who is really fighting who here? Who is the real reason behind it?"
"My father thinks like that." Mai mumbled out loud on accident. When she realized she had, she felt the need to elaborate on her meaning. "There can't be a solution if both sides think the same, and automatically make the other out as evil, because they're not the same."
Uzumi nodded. "Which is exactly where we find ourselves, torn between them."
"But sir, I understand the point of what you're saying. Excuse me for arguing," Mai turned her head again to look at Mu as he spoke. "Isn't your position a little idealistic? Those all sound like wonderful ideas, but Coordinators will continue to look down on Naturals and in turn Naturals will be envious of Coordinators. That's just the way things are."
"Not for everyone."
Mu looked at her, smiling apologetically when he noticed he must have offended her.
"I am aware of that. It goes without saying that this nation has difficulty living up to this. However, if we gave up on trying to improve the situation then in the end we'd be left with no other choice to eliminate each other. At that point it would be too late to do anything except for regret ad reflect the past.
"My friends, you wouldn't suggest that we keep silent just because that's what the rest of the world is doing, would you? With this, you can choose your own course in life. I can understand if you still feel loyalty to those whose uniform you wear. You are all young and capable, so make your decisions carefully. Be sure to choose your future wisely."
"What's your view on this, Lord Uzumi?" Kira questioned. This time Mai didn't turn, but instead continued to watch Uzumi Nara Atha as he went to answer.
The older man sighed. "I believe we are entering a time where our swords can no longer be just a display."
"You're paler than before, and you've lost weight."
Mai couldn't believe what she was seeing; found it impossible for her to be lectured by the woman in front of her. Golden eyes were bright, and her long brown hair was tied into a braid. Dressed in the familiar ORB uniform, the woman tapped the top of Mai's head with her clipboard.
"But you're alive, and that's all that matters. Not that I thought you were, I knew it had to be a mistake."
"Junari." Mai said at last, still shocked at what she was seeing. "How… why are you here?"
Erika Simmons had called them, wanting to show something. Mai had been walking with Kira and Cagalli, Marrue and Mu ahead of them and Erica leading the way, when the older friend had come into view from a connecting corridor.
Junari smiled, but Erica Simmons answered for her. "We've been trying to hire Ms. Tobermory for years for her experience, but she's only agreed to it recently. I take it you know each other?"
"We went to the same school, where we've been friends since." Mai wondered as her friend talked, what exactly she had experience impressive enough to catch ORB's eyes. "Forgive me though, I didn't mean to take any time."
"Not at all. You should come along, since you've taken a major role in what I'm about to show them."
Mai felt her heart skip when she finally saw it, running ahead of the group to take a better look to make sure it was real. Shortly she was joined by Kira, and the two continued to stare in awe.
"Now that you're back, I feel like I should return it to you." Erica Simmons was smiling as she watched the two react.
In front of them stood a massive mobile suit, a familiar sight that had been engraved in their minds for so long. The color was dull, but Mai could close her eyes and picture the blue and red burst to life. Seeing it whole again made everything seem only like a dream and brought tears to her eyes.
"After the repairs were done, we had Ms. Tobermory install the operating system for Naturals." Erica explained, the woman in question smiled again and shrugged it off like it was nothing. "We decided on it because… well, we figured someone else would be piloting it."
"The OS designed for Naturals?" Mu questioned, just as in awe as the rest of them.
Mai tried to listen to what they were saying, she really did, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the Strike. Even later, when Junari had to pull her along and explained what she had missed, she found herself unable to say anything as she watched the two suits sparring with the other.
Kira in the Freedom, and Mu La Flaga in the Strike.
"They're remarkable machines, aren't they." She heard Junari whisper.
Even still, she couldn't find her voice.
Junari tapped her fingers on the clipboard in her hands, quickly eyeing the blue haired girl fast asleep in the bed behind her. The information she received from the ship's ex-doctor was unbelievable, yet even after the fifth time reading through something began to bother her. She had heard about this before, when their youngest friend had needed a blood transfusion. The small wounds had healed in days, the larger ones following, and the recovery speed had baffled the doctors. Junari had still been a medical student then, and would never have thought Mai's blood would be the cause.
The printed DNA image on the top corner was unlike anything she had ever seen. It worried her, causing her to chew on her bottom lip. Coordinators didn't become sick, yet on the report was written several instances where her younger friend had become ill; fever, headaches, and even cases of severe vomiting. It wasn't normal, and she was suddenly determined to find the answers to the questions that continued to build.
When she had asked the doctor for his report, he had gladly sacrificed his office to her expense. He explained how he was staying with ORB, where his wife and child were, since it was unknown if the Archangel was remaining with the Earth Forces.
"These Coordinators were too much of a headache." The man had mumbled, dark eyes tired from the journey the ship must have made. "But they are good kids, so make sure they get someone who can help them better than I can."
Junari hadn't hesitated in her decision, meeting with Marrue Ramius as soon as she was able. From there, she had visited Erica Simmons in order to word her request, as well as to apologize. There was no way she was letting the Archangel go without her, not when her friend was alive. Whatever side they chose was good enough; Mai hadn't been the oldest, but she was always the natural leader of the group. With a single smile, she could brighten a room. With a single word, she could send a shiver down their spines. The brunette had heard many speeches from the girl before, and she would always render the room speechless with her words. She wondered briefly if she had drawn in her fans with more than just her look and voice, but her words as well.
Sighing heavily, Junari locked the clipboard inside the desk and locked the drawer when she heard footsteps down the hall. It surprised her when the door opened, and violet eyes met her own.
The boy blinked at her before seeing the shape resting in the bed, and she watched his eyes soften. "She just fell asleep, so please don't wake her."
Kira Yamato – she was glad she remembered him from years ago, her last year at the school with everyone – nodded, unable to tear his eyes away from her sleeping figure. "She looks better."
Junari blinked at his words, watching the boy with interest. The look he was giving her with those soft eyes was something she had seen many times before. Her fathers' adoring eyes every time he would look at her mother; her older brother's loving gaze when he would hold his fiancé, laughing and rubbing her stomach.
Love.
It took her a moment to pull herself back from the thought in order to answer the unasked question. "Her wounds have finally started to close, so she's not losing too much blood anymore. I've tried giving her some pain killers in her system, but I'm not surprised she's rejecting it. She'll most likely wake soon; she's not the type to allow herself even a moment of rest."
"Not when she could be helping someone else." Kira's voice had been so quiet, Junari wondered if she had even heard him right.
Junari sighed, straightening her uniform after standing. "I'll go let Ms. Marrue know the situation. When she wakes up, make sure she eats something. She hasn't been eating properly, and I doubt she'll think about it now."
Kira didn't need someone else to tell him what he already knew, but he nodded his head to the woman and watched her leave.
The chair beside Mai's bed was still in the same spot, as if waiting for him to take his place by her side. Once he did, he noticed the small figure under her bed. The black robot cat tilted its head, before slowly crawling out from its place. It stared at him for a moment before jumping onto the desk, keeping watch on him and flicking his tail. The machine made Kira smile, the actions and likeliness was remarkable, just the same as his own gift.
Kira allowed his mind to wonder, content with how peaceful the blue haired girl seemed in her sleep. What was she dreaming about? He wished he knew.
The Ecrans' repairs were close to being finished, but the damage it had taken was something he felt guilty for. If he had returned sooner, she wouldn't have had to protect the ship so desperately. At least once it was complete again, it would give her a tool to follow her own choices. He wouldn't have been able to argue with her if she said she wanted to continue fighting.
The Strike had returned, but it was an odd feeling knowing that it no longer belonged to him. Kira was currently taking a break from teaching Mu what he knew might help him. In a few moments, he knew he had to return. His break had been the older man's idea; he had caught him many times distracted and told him to see how she was. He hated leaving in the middle of the task, yet he understood how much he was dying to see her condition.
Kira sighed, deciding it was time to return. He would have to get Miriallia to make sure the blue haired girl ate something when she woke in his place.
Miriallia watched her friend eat, concern written on her face.
Less than thirty minutes prior, Mir had panicked when entering the hospital room. Her friend had started screaming right before she had opened the door, thrashing under her sheets and almost ripping the needles from her arms. Holding her down had barely worked, and neither had calling out to her at first. The sight had brought tears to her eyes, and after an eternity of struggling Mai had shocked herself awake, her own tears mixed with Miriallia's as they fell from her face. The broken girl was the one to be comforted afterword, sobbing about the sight and was afraid of not knowing what to do.
Mai had started humming to calm her even when her own shaking hadn't stopped. As they sat in the cafeteria, her humming had continued, and she was smiling between bites. Miriallia had tried to bring up the conversation again, but her blue haired friend had only smiled and changed the subject.
When they were finished eating, Sai had found them to let them know Marrue had called them to the pilot's deck, and they left together.
Mai stood in the shadows of the empty room, thinking about what had happened.
Her nightmares were worse, even though Kira had returned alive. The thought that Miriallia had seen her like that was heartbreaking and she wouldn't be able to avoid the conversation forever. Recalling the dream had her side throbbing in pain and she began to hum again to distract herself. There was a constant feeling like something was wrong, a missing piece to a puzzle she didn't understand.
Marrue had given the crew her ultimatum. The Earth Alliance was demanding ORB to join them, which ORB refused in return. A fleet was on the move, so fighting was unavoidable. The Archangel, along with the Freedom, would remain and defend the country. It was up to each member of the crew to decide, and Mai had already made her choice before hearing the options.
She had already dedicated her life to the Archangel, that wasn't going to change. Her Ecran would defend the ship to the best of its abilities.
Out of everyone, only eleven people had taken the choice to leave. Kuzzey was one. Mai didn't know him well, but when she had met him with Sai in the hallway she had hugged the boy and wished him luck, thanking him for all of his help.
"Let's meet again after this is over, okay?" she had said to the flustered boy. "I'll be looking forward to it."
Mai sighed, finding herself suddenly concerned with her mobile suit. Leaving the abandoned room behind, she stepped into the hallway and headed for the deck. It had only taken a minute before she heard her name and turned to the source. The sight had startled her; a panting boy holding a Zaft uniform in a clenched fist.
"It's good to see you're okay."
Mai smiled at Dearka, happy to see that he was alright. Miriallia had confessed to be the one bringing him food, to Mai's surprise. It had been her that brought the idea to Marrue; the Archangel was going into battle, but not under the Earth Alliance. Dearka was a Zaft pilot, they no longer had a need to keep him.
"There're… kicking me off of the ship."
"That's good, isn't it? You're free to go."
Dearka frowned, taking a moment to decide his question. "What should I do?"
"I can't answer that for you, you know that." Mai's smile didn't falter as she watched the confusion grow in his eyes. "You have to decide that for yourself. You have to decide what you believe in, what you are fighting for."
She watched as he scratched the back of his head, still unsure. "What about you?"
What about her? What exactly had she decided? What exactly did she want to do, even after this fight? Would they even survive?
"I will stay, and I will fight. Not for anyone else, but for myself. Because I have people that I want to protect, more than anything. I won't lose anyone else. I won't let anyone else die.
"My place is here, and I will do whatever I can to end this war, even if my efforts die out in vain."
Dearka said nothing, only nodded before turning to leave. Mai turned and walked the other way, smile still on her face and holding her locket between her fingers.
"I remember thinking back then, how much I wished I could cry and scream at the world to give my brother back. Just the one thing, and I would never ask for anything again. I had to be strong, like he was, and focus on what was coming next. To live on with everything he ever taught me, and the memory of how much I loved him.
Even after I knew he was alive, I wanted nothing more than to hold him close to me, to never let him go again so we never had to feel such pain.
I don't think any of us could have predicted what had happened next."
Mai Zala
Whoot! Athrun will be in the next one, I promise!