Sorry if this is badly written; I wrote this on NotePad, and there's no spelling correction on that lousy thing... but it's the only thing my laptop has! So please bear with me! /' I don't know if this is in character for Sherlock enough, so please tell me if something seems off. Thanks! :)

Sherlock?

What the hell was going on? Sherlock was dead... how could John possibly be talking to him right now? As the questions raced along his mind, there came a reply.

Stranger: John?

It was him, there was no doubt about it.

You: Sherlock, how... how are you here?
You: I thought you were dead!

John couldn't believe his eyes. How could Sherlock still be alive? He saw his friend, lifeless, on the ground, that fateful day when he jumped off that building 3 years ago. Nothing made
sense anymore, but John tried not to overthink, since he didn't have that much energy.

Stranger: Well, John, it's quite complicated -SH
Stranger: And I can't exactly tell you this right here... -SH

But just before John asked what the hell was going on, Sherlock disconnected. (i)What? I finally get to talk to him after all this time, and he disconnects? I might never get to talk to him again!(i) But before John could even begin to complain about his friend's strange manner, his pocket started vibrating, so he took out his phone. There was a new message. It said "Hello, John. -SH"

John's fingers started trembling. Would he really get to talk to Sherlock? Was it really him? Was he dreaming? He better not have been, or he'd never want to wake up.

Sherlock, is it really you? -JW
Who else would it be? Anderson? -SH

Good to see he was still picking on the guy after all this time. Wouldn't be like Sherlock, otherwise. Those two always had this strange, bitter relationship... John smiled slightly at the thought that maybe his friend hadn't changed after all. But he became serious again after contemplating how he'd get info out of him. I mean, this is Sherlock we're talking about. At least now, John could be frank about his feelings.

You're alive? How come you never told me? -JW
I couldn't tell you. That in itself would have blown my cover. -SH
I was so worried about you, when I saw you lying on the ground there... -JW
I really thought you were dead. -JW
Really? Well then, I'm glad it worked. -SH

Glad? He was glad?! John practically had to control himself. He was either gonna explode from shock or rage, and neither sounded good right about now.

You bastard! How can you just talk to me like nothing happened?! -JW
John, I can explain... -SH
You were DEAD! Explain that! -JW
Explain why so many times, I thought about you and cried! -JW

John's fingers were still shaking with emotion. He would have sent "Explain why everyone was crying at your funeral, then," but he decided against it. It wasn't gonna do him any good to piss off Sherlock if he wanted to find out what happened. Wasn't Sherlock feeling any bit of regret? He'd been left completely alone for 3 years. 3 years spent in perpetual solitude. There had always been something missing inside of him since then, mostly because some things should have been realized and said while he still had the chance...

But John wasn't going to keep harking on the angsty feelings inside of him. Sherlock was alive! There couldn't have been a bigger joy than that for John to possibly consider. At least they could keep talking for a while, and John didn't want to throw away his friend, now that he was back.

John, those assassins were after you. -SH
If I didn't 'kill myself', they would have hurt you, and everyone else involved in our life. -SH
I'd never allow harm to come to you, John... -SH

Tears started building in the shorter man's eyes. He was in the military, damn it! He was supposed to be tough and manly! But seeing how Sherlock was being earnest about wanting to protect him, how could he possibly have stayed mad at him?

I'm sorry. -SH

John couldn't answer. Maybe it was his pride, maybe it was the shock. Or maybe it was just the fact that he was just so relieved about Sherlock still being in existence that he couldn't compose himself together. All these emotions, all at once... they were certainly something that would drive a man into another burn out. Finally, when he came out of his little though bubble, John thought he should at least let his friend know he was still here for him.

I'm just... so glad that you're okay... -JW
I was so sad when you died, Sherlock. -JW
It's like a part of me died along with you. -JW
Well I'm glad that you hold me in such high esteem, John. -SH
Thank you. It was quite hard for me as well, not being able to be with you... -SH

That last text made John smile. Of course Sherlock had missed him, he only had the doctor as a friend. So then what did he do on his spare time?

So then what did you do on your spare time? -JW
Surely you didn't hang out with other people? -JW
No, but apparently you and I had the same idea about Internet chatting. -SH
But don't worry, I've been keeping up with people's lives now and then. -SH

John giggled. He was surprised at how lighthearted he was feeling while just 5 minutes ago he was full of rage and still under quite the shock.

Of course you wouldn't busy yourself with people. That would be human of you. -JW
Well, what's a sociopath like me going to do? -SH
How could I ever turn human from the thing that I am? -SH
At least that hasn't changed. -SH

John paused for a moment.

So you're still the same crazy, reckless eccentric you were before? -JW
Always, John. I wouldn't change for the world. -SH
Even if that world will soon be within my grasp. -SH

What the hell does he mean by that? John thought worriedly. Did Sherlock become some sort of secret agent while he was in hiding? Well, that would certainly explain how he kept himself busy during those 3 years... Even though he wanted to question him further, John didn't really push it that far. He might've pissed him off, so he decided a more playful approach should do the trick.

If we ever meet again, you know I'm going to strangle you, right? -JW
I'd expect nothing less of you. -SH
Maybe a beating would ensue. In any order you prefer, you do have a right to be mad. -SH

All these jokes about old times were making John melancholy again. He started to cry, happy that it was really Sherlock talking to him, and he was still the same weirdo he was before.

Thanks a lot, now you've made me cry. -JW
But I didn't even hit you. -SH
No, but just wait 'till I hit you! You'll be sorry! -JW
Indeed, I look forward to it. -SH

Wait, what did he mean by that? He wanted John to beat him up? But that would mean they had to meet... and how would they do that if Sherlock couldn't come out of hiding?

Listen, are you... planning to come to 221B Baker street soon? -JW
I'd really like to see my friend again. -JW
We're both going to have to keep a low profile a bit longer. -SH
Even this is risky. -SH

Sherlock was right. It was pretty risky for them to be texting. He was supposed to be dead, after all. What if somebody was tracing his texts? Then they'd both be in trouble. While John was busy comtemplating the risks of keeping a conversation with Sherlock, he received a new message.

It won't be much longer, I promise. -SH
I missed you, John. -SH

John couldn't exactly respond right away. He was sorta taken aback by what Sherlock had just said. That's pretty... direct... even for Sherlock. His own feelings towards his companion were baffled for a short while, but John figured it would be best for him to be honest as well.

I missed you too. -JW
It's gotten pretty lonesome without your going all over the place. -JW
Trust me, I know. -SH
You crazy sociopath. -JW
You bet your ass. -SH
No, I don't bet anything. -JW
When you go to war, you learn that betting your life or your body is really a 50-50 chance. -JW
I was lucky to make it out of there alive! -JW
I was lucky you did too. -SH

John was kind of surprised. (i)What the hell does he mean by that?(i) The blonde was pretty sure nothing on his friend's part could surprise him by now, but this? This was just... strange. Was there some kind of secret message or something?

Lucky why? -JW
That you made it out alive. -SH

Huh?

I would never have met my best friend otherwise. -SH

Now this was just getting... weird. Sherlock, acknowledging him? He was actually being nice, for once. Maybe 3 years had done him some good. John's heart kept beating faster; no words could explain how happy he felt to hear that from Sherlock.

Sherlock... -JW
Hmm? -SH
I'm glad I met you too. -JW
You certainly made my life a lot less boring. -JW
And you made mine a lot less lonely. -SH
You've made me more... human. -SH

Sherlock, human? Did he read that right? Well, he did say "more" human... which means he wasn't there yet. Good. John could only handle so much change at a time.

But do you think yourself as human? -JW
Well, biologically speaking, that's what I am. -SH
I thought you'd know that by now. -SH

John snickered. Still making fun of me, aren't you? Well, at least you haven't changed that much...

I was talking metaphorically. -JW
Well, if I was "human", it would be quite strange, wouldn't it? -SH
Yeah. Imagine the great Sherlock Holmes with human thoughts and emotions... -JW
That'd be quite a change. -JW

Sherlock didn't respond for a while. After about 5 minutes, he thought that was pretty strange for his friend. Before, during their conversation, it seemed as if Sherlock was right there by his phone, just waiting for his flatmate to send him another message. But now, there was no response. John couldn't take the question any further, so he instead sent him a little remark.

Well, it'd be strange, that's for sure, but nothing I couldn't get used to. -JW

And now he was waiting. His heart was beating fast again, trying not to fear the worst. Did something happen to Sherlock? Oh God, if something had happened to him... While John was starting to panic, he received a new message. He tried to calm down to read it.

So am I broken or fixed now? -SH

Then another silence. Was he waiting for John to answer? Apparently not, as the latter received another message, that indeed, made Sherlock seem a lot more human.

I miss our flat. I want to go home. -SH
I want you home too. -JW
It'll be great to catch up. -JW
I don't need to catch up on you, but you need to catch up on me. -SH
That is, if I'm not too hurt from your hitting me. -SH
Well, that depends on how long you keep me waiting to see you. -JW

Wait, what did he just say?

Wait, you mentioned earlier that you've been keeping an eye on me. -JW
What's that about? -JW
Hopefully, I won't gain punches for this, but I've been concerned about your safety. -SH
And I don't think I could have lasted this long without seeing you... -SH
Sherlock, I... I don't know what to say... -JW
I know it must sound pretty strange, but not beeing to able to see each other is worst than trying to quit smoking. -SH

John would never stop being surprised by this strange man. Sherlock always seemed emotionless, but now that'd been away for so long, he finally let himself go about his feelings? Well, at least, that was as close to a compliment as John was ever gonna get from him.

I'm just... surprised by this whole thing... -JW
Well then, you've got another one coming. -SH

What?

You're about to hear a knock on the door in a few seconds. -SH
You better come and open it downstairs, I don't think you'll be able to carry it upstairs. -SH

That's when John heard a knock on the door. Exactly as Sherlock said. But how would he know? Is he watching me?

You're at the flat, aren't you? -SH
Well, where else would I be? -JW
And what could be so big that I couldn't carry it upstairs? -JW
Have you forgotten the definition of surprise, John? -SH
Of course not! Not with the one you gave me today... -JW
Then trust me, it'll live up to its name. -SH

John smiled. Sherlock might have been extremely weird and arrogant, but at least he showed his one and only friend that he cared. John got up off his seat in front of his laptop, which had gone into sleep mode, and left the flat. He started going down the stairs, when he sent:

Well then the discussion topic of today was pretty accurate, then. -JW
About what? -SH
About dark secrets. I never would've guessed you were still alive. -JW
That's not what I meant, but... -SH

John didn't really get to that last text because he was so taken aback by the big crate in front of the building. It was huge! How was he ever going to carry that upstairs? Unless he wasn't supposed to? But how did Sherlock even know about the package being there anyway? God, what did he have in mind?

Sherlock, what the hell did you send me? -JW
This box is huge! -JW
Well, I can't tell you. Not until you open it. -SH
I'm afraid to... -JW
Oh, come on, just do it. I swear it's not... too frightning. -SH

What the hell would Sherlock possibly put in a crate that could frighten him? There were way too many possibilities, so he just narrowed it down to the simplest sollution.

Is there a dead body in there that you want me to put in the fridge? -JW
Because if yes, you're too predictable. -JW
No, actually. Quite the opposite. -SH
What? There's living person in there? -JW
Sherlock, what have you done? -JW

What the hell was he thinking, putting a living body in a crate? That madman! Maybe he was a psychopath, after all! John started looking around Ms. Hudson's closet for anything that could bust open that crate. Good thing she wasn't home, or she would probably have screamed at him. While he was panicking, Sherlock was still sending him texts.

Well, you'd find me crazy if I told you. -SH

Silly Sherlock, shouldn't he have learned that no matter what he did, John would always find a thread of insanity in him?

Now I'm not too sure about opening the box. -JW
Who's in there? -JW
How do you even know there's someone live in there? -JW
How did you know there was a package at my door? -JW
Well, I'm the sender, of course. -SH
But I never said there was a person in there. -SH
Come on, just open it. -SH

John finally found a crowbar. Just like Sherlock said. He would have wondered how Sherlock remembered there being a crowbar in Ms. Hudson's closet, but he forgot for a moment that his friend also used to live here.

Ok, I'll do it. Just be glad I trust you. -JW
Oh, don't worry. I know that. -SH
I've been playing on that right from the start. -SH

Wait, so this whole thing was about me trusting him? But in what would that... and then John caught on to something. Sherlock knew there was a package at his door, and he said John trusted him. Could it be that...?

Sherlock, I can't do it, I can't open the box. -JW
Why not? Didn't you find the crowbar in Ms. Hudson's closet downstairs? -SH
I'm talking about the closet down the hallway TO her appartment, not IN her appartment. -SH
No, no, I found it. -JW
I'm just... scared that the content of that crate isn't what I think it is... -JW
Well, I can't promise that it is what you're expecting, but I hope that it is. -SH
Even if it's not, I'm sure you'll be pleased anyway. -SH
There's only one thing in that huge box that could posibly make me happy, but I don't think that's what it is. -JW
If it is, you're a madman. -JW
That fact has been established ages ago. -SH
If you don't remember, you're memory is about to be refreshed very soon. -SH

Now he was almost sure of the contents of the box, and his heart was beating fast again. If it really was... "that"... which was inside the box, he would freak. God, today had been hectic with his feelings riding on a roller coaster and all. He was sure gonna need to head to bed after this.

No, really, Sherlock, don't tell me I'm going to have a heart attack when I see... "it". -JW
It all depends on you. No promises. -SH

He took his courage with both hands, and decided it was better to get it clear once and for all.

I don't want to ruin your fun, but I think I know what's in the box. -JW
And what would that be? -SH
It's you, isn't it? -JW
John, remember the box. -SH
You might want to hurry, it's perishable. -SH
But I think I'd rather make "it" suffocate in there. I have every right to. -JW
I know, but why torture yourself? -SH

John gave a small sigh.

Sure, I'll let you out, just hold on. -JW

He flailed the crowbar at the crate in order to break the wood and make a hole. After about 30 seconds of nonstop hitting, some of the wood finally gave way, enabling John to catch a peek at Sherlock's crouched figure on the inside.