When I wrote this story, I exaggerated the Alpha bashing. Mainly because:

a) I wrote what the other Streams would view them as. There's plenty of evidence in the books to suggest that the other Streams hate their black-jumpsuit-clad guts.

b) I was wishing for some severely controversial (and thus, entertaining) responses.

Wish granted! Thank you, mosgem, for writing 'Sincerely, Alphas'.

It's a response written by the Alphas. And it's hilarious. And brilliant. And possibly enough to spark WW3, but those are the best ones, right? *insert wide, slightly insane grin*

Anyway. SHOUT OUT to 'Sincerely, Alphas' by Mosgem. Thank you for writing it!

PS-Yes, it did spark a war...

The SciTech stream (after making sure that disguising signals absolutely really means absolutely, because, while wedid take into account Malpense and his computer-brain, one can never be too sure) want to say: Yes, Otto, you have fangirls. Well, a fangirl. Who's slightly creepy. With stalker-like tendencies. But who cares, huh? Also, Laura might be in on this shower thing. We think she's using an alias to buy the tapes, and yeah, we're pretty sure it's her...

And you sing in the shower, Malpense. You're not that bad, actually. After a lot of debate, we've given you a 7.1.

Yeah, good luck, Shel. Fangirls are crazy. They'd do anything to watch Wing in the shower, including face your wrath-oi! Cassie, quit playing Wing's shower videos! Sweet mother of-we're trying to reply here! We can't do that if we're suffering severe nosebleeds due to the extreme hotness and sex appeal that takes mortal form in Wing Fanchu WHERE THE HELL ARE THOSE TISSUES?!

The Henchman stream:

After deciding that we are never going to break the you-are-brainless-thugs-who-will-never-be-considered-amazing stereotype (Raven! Henchman! Wing Fanchu! Henchman! And, FREAKING HELL! FURAN was definitely HENCHMAN! Are they not smart? Are they not awesome? How thick-headed can you Alphas be if you don't see that?!) said, "Screw it," and went out to break some bones.

Apparently, we are under the impression that crushing governments wasn't going to save Alphas from getting their bones crushed.

Hm. Wonder why we would think that...

We do applaud the Harry Potter reference, though.

We PolFis have followed the Henchmen's lead. Upon repeated insinuation that we are the Alphas' minions, we, too, have said, "Screw it," and have paid the Henchmen to mess up Alpha-faces. And intestines. (Really, though? You didn't know that money talks, even at HIVE? No wonder Alpha and PolFi are two different streams, even though you feel that we PolFis are just wannabe-Alphas...no, really, that brilliant lecture on class and finesse, and all you got was wannabe losers? They don't have an IQ criterion for you guys any more, do they?)

"How the hell did they find those replies? I ripped them apart!"

Raven patted her employer/lover-no, not her lover!-soothingly, "You would have failed as a teacher if they hadn't. It's not that bad..."

Nero lifted his head (which he had previously buried in his hands) to look at her. "World War 3 has broken out. We've had to create a whole new infirmary wing. Professor Pike caught a PolFi girl liberating a bazooka while muttering something about 'stupid Alphas thinking we're stupid wannabe minions I'll show them'..."

"It's not that bad," Raven repeated.

"She hasn't even used it yet, Natalya."

"Wait-Pike let her take the bazooka?"

"She was a livid PolFi student with a lethal weapon of mass destruction! And we'll have another Hiroshima-Nagasaki, once the SciTechs are done modifying it! What was Pike supposed to do?!"

Raven was quiet for a while, unsure of how to proceed. Finally, she spoke up, "We can do some damage control, though. By not letting the Alphas receive the other streams' responses, for starters..."

Right one cue, they heard someone shriek hysterically-with a Scottish accent, "I didn't know about the tapes! I swear! No, I'm not blushing! I'm not, dammit! These are allergies! Shel! Back me up!"

"GIVE ME AN AXE!"

"Come on, you're above all-"

"THEY'VE SEEN WING NAKED. I HAVEN'T!"

"Shelby-"

"MALPENSE, WHERE'S THE GODDAMNED AXE?!"

"Wing took it-"

"THEN GIVE ME THE BAZOOKA!"

Raven winced as she heard the unfortunate albino's attempts to explain that the bazooka was missing, too... "This is not going to be easy to deal with...Are you sure the camera riggers are safe?"

Nero absentmindedly chewed on his thumb. The last time he'd indulged in that habit, he was 3 and teaching his engineered shark to tap dance. "The SciTech stream assured me that they had taken into account Malpense's abilities. Something about recovering an imprint of his implanted mainframe from the shcool's database to develop a quantum encryption to eliminate the possibility of a bypass something something jargon jargon. They were confident that they were in the clear."

"Well, Malpense hasn't found them yet, so they must be. What are they going to do about an axe-wielding Wing Fanchu?

A loud crash sounded outside, followed by a boom. Raven opened the door to see a giant space robot waving around a smoking bazooka. Someone in the background screamed, "YEAH! SCITECH, BITCHES! COME AT ME NOW!"

The assassin calmly shut the door. "In case I die tonight, know that I've always loved you-" Nero blinked, "-and tell Luke that Darth is his father."

He started. Oh, so she was joking...he sighed. He couldn't really tell with Natalya...

"I'm only half-joking, though," Raven added as she unsheathed her katanas, "There's a very good chance we might all end up dead." Bracing herself, she kicked open the door, weapons held high-

-and immediately threw it shut when an axe flew inside and slammed itself into Nero's chair.

Nero peered out from where he had ducked under his desk, warily eying the large weapon that had rudely occupied his seat without asking him first.

There was a knock on the door. "Excuse me, Dr Nero, Raven," Wing said, his polite tone at odds with his dishevelled hair and murderous expression, "but have you seen my axe, by any chance?"

Nero hadn't been this speechless since the last time he had seen Natalya in a cocktail dress.

Raven wrenched out the axe from the chair's headrest and threw it at him. Catching it deftly, he bowed and closed the door with a brief, "My apologies, sorry for the interruption," which was then followed by a shout of, "CASSIE FROM SCITECH, YOU-WILL-PAY!" heard through the closed door.

"..."

"...No, I don't think you need to intervene, Natalya..." Nero eventually ventured, "...They'll be fine."

Something which sounded suspiciously like an atomic bomb shook the floor.

"Just fine," he repeated.

Another explosion, followed by shrieks of, "LET ME AT 'EM!" reverberated through the floor.

"...please don't leave me," Max whimpered to himself.