Chapter 20

Start of Christmas holiday...

Kate had returned to Stanford on the Saturday after Black Friday. She had classes on Monday and needed to make sure all her work was done and she wasn't operating on jet-lag. The time in California had gone quickly, it felt like she had only been back in her dorm with Sloane for a week, but it was Christmas break now. She was leaving in the morning to head back to New York for the holidays. She hoped her parents hadn't put the tree up yet, it was one of her favorite traditions to go out tree shopping with her parents and pick the perfect tree that they would carry home and squeeze through the front door and stand in the center of the living room.

Kate was startled from her memories when Sloane closed the door to their dorm.

"Kate! Are you here?" She called out from kicking off her shoes in the entry way.

"Just packing." Kate responded, going back to folding and tossing some necessary articles of clothing into her suitcase, her heavy coats had stayed home in New York for when she came home, so she wouldn't have to worry about fitting them into her bag.

Sloane entered the room, dropping her purse on to her bed before she too plopped down on the creaky mattress. The petite blonde would also be headed home for the holidays. She had just come from saying good-bye to Henry, whose parents had moved to Florida in early retirement, and wouldn't be able to travel together over the holiday breaks anymore.

"When does your flight leave?" Sloane asked, picking at the nail polish on her thumb.

"Seven tomorrow morning. It gives me some time in New York to spend with my parents, before they try to stay awake as late as possible." Kate explained. "When are you leaving?"

"Around nine. I'll shower before I lock up and hit the road." Sloane looked up. "Are you and Brad taking the same flight?" She asked innocently.

Kate turned around sharply. An expression of shock and horror mixing on her face. "How...how...what?"

"Oh, come on. We all know that Brad's folks live in New York too. You guys going to do a meet the parents dinner or something?"

"Wait! First of all, I don't know what flight Brad is taking. Second, no! We are doing "meet the parents" stuff! We've only been dating for-"

"Since Halloween. That's when you finally agreed to go out with him." Sloane interrupted.

Kate only narrowed her eyes at her friend/roommate. It was true she had finally agreed to go out with Brad at a Halloween party that Henry was hosting, it was just their little Nebula 9 group and some other friends. But Kate known it was time for her to move on from Rick, she had stashed away the picture he'd given her into his book and perched the copy of In a Hail of Bullets back on the shelf, it hadn't budged since shortly after Halloween.

Two days before Christmas...

Brad had called Kate the day before and asked if she wanted to go out somewhere, saying he missed her and needed to see her before he forgot what she looked like. Kate laughed at his cheesy excuse and said she'd love to see him. He picked her up and they drove to the ice rink, he wanted to take her ice skating before lunch. She had gone with her parents the other day, so her skates were cleaned up and looked like new, she was little scared to show off her horrible skating skills to her boyfriend.

They had been skating together, holding hands, laughing at the other when they fell. Brad had skated ahead to try and show off that he could skate backwards, when Kate skated head long into someone. Her arms flying out to brace her fall, she landed on her side, her right hip colliding with the hard ice.

"I'm sorry. I should have been paying more attet-" She started.

"Kate?"

It was then that she figured out who she run into. She looked up slowly, into the deep blue eyes of her ex, Rick Rodgers, well now Rick Castle, the famous best selling author.

"Rick?"

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry." He stood, slipping a little, before extending his hand to help her up.

"Kate! Are you okay?" Brad slid to sloppy stop next to her. She was too lost in Rick's face to look over at her current boyfriend. Rick turned to face Brad.

"Rick Castle." He introduced himself.

"Rick, Brad, my boyfriend. Brad, Rick." Kate snapped out of it. She looked at Brad who still looked lost. "Rick and I dated over the summer."

"Ah." Brad smiled at the man, Rick was at least a few inches taller then Brad.

At that moment a blonde slid to perfect stop beside Rick. Kate recognized her as Gina Cowell, Rick's 'partner in crime'.

"Rick what happened?"

"Just ran into an old friend." He turned to Gina, wrapping his arm around her waist. "Gina this is Kate we dated over the summer. And this is her boyfriend Brad. This is Gina, my girlfriend." Rick introduced.

"Nice to meet you." Brad extended his hand to Gina. While Kate stared at Rick.

"You look good." Rick told Kate.

"You do too." She responded.

The group stood in silence for a moment that felt like an eternity. Gina checked her watch, quickly looking up at Rick.

"Rick, we should go. We need to pick up Alexis at 4." Rick drug his gaze from Kate and turned to Gina.

"Oh. Yeah." He said, checking his own watch. He looked up at Kate. "It was nice to see you."

"Yeah. Nice to see you too." She nodded. Her heart aching in her chest. "I've missed you." She wasn't afraid to say it, it was the truth.

"Yeah." Rick extended his hand, she took it.

"It was nice meeting you." Gina said politely.

Kate nodded.

"Until we meet again." He smiled.

"Night." Kate smiled, memories from their summer together flooding her mind.

X-X-X-X

"Is that the same Rick Castle that wrote the book that looks like it went through Hell and back?" Brad asked over the table. The restaurant was nearly empty, it was a small cafe near her parents townhouse.

"Excuse me." Kate said, shaken from her thoughts of Rick by Brad.

"Is that the same Rick Castle as the book in your dorm room?"

"Yeah." Kate nodded, pushing a bit of salad around on her plate.

"Do you still love him?"

This question startled Kate. "What?"

"Do you still love him?"

"We dated for two months. It was fun. Romantic even. But..." The sentence was lost in her throat.

"I like you Kate. But it's obvious that you're still in love that guy."

"I'm not in love with him." Kate said forcefully. Brad only nodded.

"You still in love with him. You may not want to be, but you are. I'm sorry Kate." He stood and dropped the money for lunch on the table along with a tip, catching Kate's gaze again he said, "Good-bye Kate. I hope we can still be friends. Happy Holidays." He turned starting to walk away.

Kate sat alone, speechless, watching Brad's back disappear into the New York City crowd.

X-X-X-X

Kate closed the door and leaned against it. She had walked home in the snow, carrying her skates and replaying the conversation she and Brad had had at lunch. He'd broken up with her because she was still in love with Rick. She didn't move from her spot, leaning against the door, didn't take off her coat, hang up her skates. Just stood there. When her mother called her name she didn't respond, she was lost in thought. Am I still in love with Richard Castle? Johanna hurried into the room, a dish towel thrown over her shoulder, her hair in a sloppy ponytail. She looked at her daughter.

"Kate is everything okay?"

Kate looked the older woman in the eye, she could feel unshed tears threatening to make their appearance, but they weren't tears shed over Brad. "I love him."

New Years Eve 1998...

Kate stayed in with her parents on New Years Eve, carrying on the tradition of playing Charades and eating chocolate fondue and watching 'When Harry Met Sally'. As the clock ticked to midnight her parents wished her a happy new year, they kissed her on the cheek and she departed for bed, but still to wired to sleep she grabbed a book and began to flip the pages slowly, not taking in anything she was reading. Her mind traveled back to Rick, they hadn't crossed paths again since before Christmas.

Thoughts...