Chapter 4: The end of all things
The next week passes in a haze of community service and night time meetings. Some of the other council members have been shown the documents and I can often find one or more of them staring intently at me, as if they are trying to work out what is going on in my head. They are surprisingly focused for a faction that is not supposed to show any curiosity. Visiting day comes, along with the news that Erudite has banned Abnegation members from their headquarters, so my mother goes to visit Beatrice at Dauntless and tells her to take a message to Caleb in Erudite. Three days later, Caleb is on the streets, factionless, and comes to find us and gives us the details of the Erudite plan. Most we already knew, but some aspects of it sickened all of us. What was true was that the whole Dauntless faction would be attacking. The meetings grow more frequent until I barely sleep, cleaning up the streets during the day and listening to the meetings at night, where everyone offers to be a decoy so that the others can survive. It would have been funny if the threat wasn't so serious. I am finally used to wearing grey clothes instead of blue, even if the USB stays around my neck every second that it's not in use. Finally, the month is up and there's no attack from the Dauntless/Erudite army so I graduate and become a member of Abnegation, serving food to Susan Black, the girl who I met on the day of the Choosing Ceremony. It feels so real now, how I'm no longer an Erudite. I go to sleep that night smiling, feeling safer than I ever have been in these identical houses and plain grey clothes. How all of that would change in the morning.
I wake up to the sound of marching feet and I peer out the window. Armies of Dauntless move past, their faces slack, all holding guns and moving in unison to unspoken orders. I freeze, feeling that I haven't done enough, watching terrified as a grey blur crumples to the pavement. My mother stands in the doorway and she grabs my arm, leading me out of the house and into a bunker. None of the soldiers see us. 'Stay here' she tells me, and I do, keeping my head down. I see Susan sitting alone on the other side and go to her. She wraps her arms around me and I do the same, so we sit like that for almost an hour, trying to keep each other calm. I know others are there- I can see Marcus, Caleb and my father- but my world shrinks until it is just me and Susan, alone, in a happier place with beautiful flowers outside. Then there's someone banging on the door in what must be a code as Marcus runs to open it. Instead of my mother I see Tris, my adopted sister who had changed to Dauntless. Caleb asks about their mother and she just shakes her head. I know that there are discussions and it's eventually decided that most of us will go towards Amity while Tris, Caleb, Marcus and my father will go to the Dauntless headquarters and try to shut down the simulation. I stand and Susan stands with me, her eyes wide and hands shaking. We walk to the door and run out, moving through the city fast, going towards Amity. The others run towards the trains that will take them to Dauntless, to danger. I wish for a moment that I was with them. We slow to a walk but keep a steady pace towards Amity, and we are almost out of the city, almost to safety, when the group of soldiers turn the corner and run straight towards us. There's no time to think, only enough to realise that I could save so many lives. 'Keep running!' I yell, turning towards the guards. 'I'll hold them up.' The others look at me, Susan with a shocked look on her face, and then they run, and I see them burst out of the buildings before the soldiers reach me. I turn towards them and move so that they'll be firing away from the others when they shoot me. My breathing is too fast but I keep my head high as they load their guns. I will not give the Erudite the satisfaction of hearing me scream. There's a deafening roar and I'm blown backwards into the building and I want to laugh because I'm suddenly very holey-God, I'm about to die and I can only make jokes- and then there's only time to form one clear thought. Please, God, let it not have all been for nothing.