What if R and Julie hadn't met outside the city? What if R had been captured, to be used to train the children inside the fortified city of the Living? A different version of the R/Julie story, one where they meet in her world, not his.

Isaac Marion owns Warm Bodies. I just enjoy playing with the characters.

Dark Negative of Love

Chapter 15 – Dinner

Of all the things that had happened to me so far since my capture, what was about to happen was scaring me the most.

I was sitting on the rickety chair in our guest room, with Julie reapplying my make-up. "I'm sorry," she said, "but we have to go do a meal with the group. I'm trying to get Steiger to let me stay, so I have to act interested in his community."

Meet the group. I felt like I was about to be thrown to the wolves. At least in the enclosure, I had the other Dead with me. Now I was going to enter a room full of the Living, and try to pass myself off in a situation involving food and conversation? I shuddered.

Julie skillfully played Zombie-Barbie with me, using make-up, including a light foundation, to undo an appearance earned by years of being a walking Dead. Finally she quit patting on fluids and powder, and stood back to admire her handiwork. As a final touch, she added a squirt of cologne. It had a musky overtone, and I choked slightly, but put on a smile and held my head up.

"How…do I…look?" I asked.

She giggled in response, and I looked down, feeling uncertain about going out among the Living.

Julie quickly reassured me. "I'm sorry, but when you asked that question, you sounded like a girl," she said, breaking into a full laugh. Nora poked her head into the room when she heard Julie laughing, and made an audible gasp.

"R, you look…hawt!" she exclaimed.

I looked around, confused.

"You look good," said Julie. "Very human. It's just the way you phrased your question that made me giggle, that's all."

I smiled inwardly. And apparently outwardly, because Julie said, "You smiled! That's the first time I've seen you do that!"

I bit my lip. "I…haven't…in…long time," I managed to stammer out.

Nora announced, "Well, if you two are about ready, supper's getting cold. And if we want to sit together, we need to leave now. As in, now."

So the three of us walked over to the Commissary. On our way, I marveled once again at the contrast to Julie's dome as we passed tidy rows of narrow houses painted sky blue, and a striking armory done in forest camouflage colors of green and brown.

Although the light was fading, we had no problem finding the dining hall, as the sound of laughter came through the open window. We entered the noisy room together, with Nora and Julie on either side of me, and quickly found seats at one of the long tables that filled the large rectangular room. Lots of guys want to sit next to Julie, but she maneuvered us to sit near the end of the table so I would receive less attention. The two girls sandwiched me between them, and I kept my head down, trying to avoid attention.

Nora quickly elbowed me. "Look around," she hissed. "It looks like you're avoiding everyone's eyes."

"I…am," I replied. I didn't want anyone focused on me.

"Well, stop it," she instructed me quietly. "It's normal human behavior to check out other people. You can do it discretely, but you have to do it."

So I made an effort to look quickly down the rows of faces lining either side of the table. There were smiling and laughing men and women, passing food, eating and talking. Somehow seeing this began to stir memories of my own, not Perry's. I seemed to remember a similar scene, but it was outside, during the summer. There were fireflies…I tried to focus on the faces, but the memory evaporated as Nora handed me a serving bowl of food.

Plates were passed down to me, and I found myself attempting to balance the bowl in one hand while handling a serving spoon with the other. Nora noticed my discomfort and came to my rescue, and served both of us from each dish as it was passed down the table to us.

Soon I found myself staring at a highly unappetizing plate covered with a mound of white rice, some gray meet covered in tan stuff that must have been gravy, and a bright pile of green beans. I knew I was going to have to try to eat, so I put some of the rice in my mouth, forcing it down.

I felt eyes upon me, and I saw General Steiger watching me from across the room. When I caught his eyes, he smiled, but I felt his stare had been appraising.

My attention was drawn back to Julie and Nora when Nora started remarking on the green beans. "These are fabulous! They have…texture," she said delightedly. "I'm used to the canned stuff."

"We try to reserve the MRE's for when we need them," a voice came from behind us. "But I picked these beans today, when I heard we had visitors."

We turned to see a plump woman wearing an apron who was standing at the end of the table, ladling food into the serving bowls.

I couldn't help but thinking, well, at least something, or rather someone, looked good enough to eat here! Bad R, stop that. Picking up another forkful of rice, I put it in my mouth and forced myself to swallow. It was a little easier this time, but it still tasted like cardboard to me.

Finally dinner was over. I let the sound of the Livings' laughing voices flow around me. Occasionally Julie nudged me, letting me know that someone was addressing me, so I could look up and nod at them.

I also heard her tell people, "He just lost his brother, you know, and he just needs a little time before he's ready to talk."

I heard sympathetic responses to this statement, and eventually I was left alone. Because they really weren't that interested in me. They were all fascinated by the vibrant, beautiful girl sitting next to me.

It was obvious, even to me, that this was Julie's night. I couldn't imagine that her desire to join this group could be any less than their desire to have her here. She was in her element, answering questions, laughing, replying to smart remarks with wisecracks of her own.

I smiled. She would be OK here, I felt. I liked this General Steiger much better than Julie's father. For one thing, he seemed on to me, so it was going to be necessary for me to get out, and let her carry on with her life among the other Living. However hard that would be for me.

After what felt like hours, we left the commissary and headed back to our guest quarters. Once inside, Nora chimed in. "Well, sleeping arrangements will be unusual," remarked Nora.

"I…don't sleep," I told her. Then I remembered that I had slept the night before in the house. It had been the first time in years. I shuddered remembering the nightmares that seemed to come the second I shut my eyes.

Fortunately, Nora's voice broke my chain of thought. "No, I'm not going to sleep in here with you, even when you're across the hall. Sorry, Julie, but I feel somebody has to stay awake."

I ducked my head, ashamed, though I couldn't say why.

"I'll take first watch, and he's staying in here with us," Julie responded quickly. "I'll wake you up at 1:00 A.M., OK?"

Nora nodded and lay down. She was quickly asleep, one hip up, face sideways, hugging the thin pillow.

Julie sat for a while, writing in a journal, then, winking at me, she curled up in the chair, making a pillow out of a sweater. "Wake me up at 12:45, OK?" she asked.

I nodded, and soon she was snoring.

I was sorely tempted to take the journal she had been writing in, but I knew I wouldn't be able to read it.

After about two hours, I heard Nora starting to turn and become restless, as if she was about to wake up. I nudged Julie with my foot, and she sat up sleepily, her hair sticking out like a haystack.

Nora sat up, rubbing her eyes, then looked at Julie. "You were asleep," she said, pointing her finger accusingly.

"What of it?" Julie replied tartly. "I slept in a room, or rather on a plane, with him for several nights. He never did anything."

Nora snorted. "Maybe, but I'm not you."

I felt like adding, "Well, I'm not me any more either," but didn't feel I could get it out.

We spent the rest of the night with Julie snoring away, and Nora sitting up, studying her book, Gray's Anatomy. At some point, though I fought it, I felt myself dropping off. Unfortunately, I was almost immediately subjected to the same nightmares as the night before, only even more vivid. I was strapped to a table, but it wasn't a teenager wielding the knife that was plunging into me, it was John Grigio, wearing a white face mask.

I was wakened from my bad dream with a start, and realized Nora was tugging at my arm.

"R!" she whispered. "Are you all right? You were moaning!"

I nodded, still trying to shake the effects of the nightmare.

Nora pulled up the chair next to the bed. "You not only sleep, but you dream?" she whispered.

I nodded. "Just…since meeting…her," I said softly, gesturing to Julie.

Nora looked over at Julie, and then back at me. "Interesting," she said softly.

I kept myself awake for the rest of the night. As morning came, I heard a car pull up outside, followed by the sound of heavy footsteps entering the hallway and stopping in front of the door.

Even through the closed door I could pick up General Grigio's scent. Nora looked over at me, and whispered quietly, "Is it him?"

I nodded, just as a forceful knock came at the door.

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