Chapter 12

Hi everybody so sorry it took so long to update. Life has not been the easiest for me right now. This story has really been a life changer for me and has given me a great deal of healing. I know it has been dark and I know it has been painful. I know this cause most of the pain I have lived through. I ran from all of it and for years it has slowly been poisoning my life. This story was me finally facing my feelings, ripping through the scar tissue and letting go of what I had no control over. Now after these next few chapters may we all find some peace. Thank you for all you words of support and reviews they mean the world to me. -dga

I surrendered my youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there loving someone. Don't make that mistake yourself. Life's too damn short."Armistead Maupin quote

The ride to the yard was quiet and Molly decided to give

Sherlock his iPod.

"oh Sherlock, I got the i pods set up and here's yours. I also have some more classical music for you as well. I know it is no violin but I hope it helps till you can play again." The bag was bulging with Cd's and Sherlock turned from the window to take it from her.

"thanks Molly. By the way I had no ideal that you were so talented with the clarinet." His eyes sparked with genuine mirth. She had surprised him once again. "They were wonderful and they did help a great deal."

John let out a gasp at what Sherlock had said. "that was you playing Molly?! Mycroft and I spent hours trying to figure out who it was." John 's face looked as if he couldn't add all the facts up.

Blushing furiously, Molly tried to answer only to be cut off by Sherlock. "from what I saw she is accomplished in what eight different instruments. Though for good reason the clarinet is her favorite. She also composes."

at john's expression Molly laughed...He looked like she had sprouted a second head or maybe Sherlock had and since it was the nicest deduction he had ever given her she let it go.(breathe Molly Breathe)

Lestrade feeling a bit out of the loop asked what the deuce they were talking about and the recounting of the music story kept them occupied all the way to the yard.

Two hours later Molly did know if she should take up smoking again just for the night or if she should go get a shot of whiskey. Her nerves were shot...It was history repeating itself. All the same lies, all the smug superior belief that Brianna was at fault. Pacing could only burn up so much energy. So when Sherlock walked out with Brianna's medical file, she cornered him.

"Sherlock got your cigs with you?"

"yes, I do but you don't smoke so why ask?"

"for tonight I do again – can't have a couple shots of whiskey, might take their collective heads off." Molly, to Sherlock, looked angry tense and ready to do just that. A bit concerned?-where did that thought come from! He handed over the smokes and followed her outside.

After the first cough, she exhaled with a sigh. Her nerves settled she just started up at the clear night sky. Sherlock still rattled by how she had been acting and how he himself was responding around her. Gave her a few moments and enjoyed his own cigarette and thought about it.

Her fury and emotion distraught at the fate of that unfortunate girl seem to big to Sherlock. He knew that Molly cared about getting her patients justice for what ever harm had befallen them. It was one of the reason she was such a fine pathologist, but this seemed more personal than just that. Like she had a stake in the final outcome instead of just a hand in it. When she ran from the morgue she looked as she had seconds after he hit her. Scared and haunted. His stomach lurched what did she have to fear? Quiet mousy Molly Hooper who would ever want to hurt her? Well that was not going to happen. He wouldn't let any thing harm his pathologist again. His eyes flew open again at that thought of Molly as his. He made a mental note to bring this up with his new mentor and put it aside focusing back to his- Molly's tense shoulders and the lit cigarette hanging from her fingers.

He didn't go any closer to her, but he knew his voice would reach her. "Molly do you need to talk? I know this case has been troubling you … you seem more affected than usual."

Molly took another drag of her smoke before she answered. All the anger inside seem to flow out of her with her words.

" it's all the lies Sherlock! They all say the same thing. It was the victims fault. She lies! She makes thing up. She's crazy! I mean if your daughter told you that she is being molested you are supposed to believe her. How can they be so blind and STUPID! Brianna will never grow up, go to uni, fall in love or find healing in her friends. And it is because OF ALL THOSE PIECES OF SHITE IN THERE THAT DID NOT BELIEVE HER. She died broken and alone." Molly trembled at everything rolling through her heart and head. She took another slow drag and exhaled. Sherlock had to lean in or he would have missed her next words.

"and it could have easily been me."

Sherlock had all ready deduced that something similar had happened but to hear her say that she had survived what Brianna had been through. What they all had gone through shattered his new found heart.

With a few steps he was at her side and gently taking the cigarette from her hand he wrapped his arms around her. Molly was so bereft that her normal skittishness around Sherlock was totally absent again. She just leaned into his broad chest and cried. Even after the tears had stopped, Sherlock didn't release her. He just stood there feeling - what he wasn't sure- but he thought her arms felt like home.

Molly on the other hand was half a step away from utter melt down. Her head was spinning after the crying jag had ended why hadn't he let her go?(down girl breathe don't freak out) she tried to pull away but Sherlock's words stopped her cold.

"please Molly let me have this."

Molly did go into melt down mode then. ( omg did he just say that?) her heart beat was that of a European unladen swallow fast and uncontrollable.( good god girl breathe don't you DARE PASS OUT now!) She took slow steadying breaths and soon her heart beat calmed. She just let herself revel in the feel of Sherlock's arms around her. A few moments -minutes- years later Sherlock pulled away. Feeling a bit awkward(why hadn't he let her go? Why had he said that?) Sherlock cleared his throat and stood up a little straighter. Molly watched the mask fall back into place but for a moment she saw the pain that was in his eyes.

"OK now Molly?"

She gave him a bright smile. "yes and you?"

The unvoiced question hung there. A grimace originally set down on his features but remembering who he was talking too he softened his features and answered. "yes I will be...Let's go watch Lestrade finish them off your DNA results should be back soon."