Chapter 4
She set the bag on the table beside the door as her eyes focused on the nurse who had her hands on Horatio's thigh as Horatio grimaced, then glanced up at Zoe. He took a double take when he saw the confused and completely startled expression fleet across her face. She swallowed as a lump in her throat began to form. She felt her heartbeat pick up.
"Back the fuck off him right now." Zoë growled lowly at the nurse as she clenched both fists tightly.
"Zoë" Horatio said softly but she continued to glare ferociously at the nurse who looked back at Zoë, confused. "Zoë" Horatio called again and she glanced to him, but quickly turned her ice cold eyes to the nurse.
"Zoë sweetheart, she's… she's just changing the bandages on my leg, she's not hurting me at all." Horatio said softly. 'Is she scared that the nurse is hurting me?' Horatio thought to himself as he sat up in the bed a little more as he frowned slightly, beginning to worry about her.
"I said back off him!" Zoë raised her voice as she reached for her gun with her right hand as she held her phone in her trembling left hand tightly.
"Zoë!" Horatio raised his voice, shocked as he sat up fully and outstretched his arm towards her.
"Zoë" Horatio called again and she glanced to him as she swallowed, he saw her rapid breathing with the quick rising and falling of her chest exacerbate. He looked at the gun in her trembling hand and swallowed himself. "Zoë, calm down sweetheart." Horatio asked softly as Zoë took aim at the nurse. The nurse quickly backed off as she raised her hands in submission, equally as confused as Horatio. Zoe swallowed and then dropped the gun just as Nathan walked into the room. Horatio heard the metal contact the floor as she exhaled violently and pushed both hands through her hair firmly as she turned around. Nathan could see her eyes filling with tears and stood back just as she rushed out. He then looked to Horatio as she rushed down the corridor, catching the tears as they fell.
"Zoë!" Horatio called loudly as he began to get off the bed as he threw the blanket to the end.
"Horatio rest, I'll go and get her." Nathan said firmly as he picked up her gun and handed it to Horatio. Nathan could see the panicked expression on Horatio's face, he knew Horatio was extremely worried and stressed. He quickly walked out in search for Zoë.
'What was that about? What's got into her?' Horatio questioned himself as he ran both his hands through his hair as the nurse stepped back and put the last piece of tape on his leg and bandage.
"I didn't mean to cause any offense or conflict, Lieutenant Caine." The nurse said softly as she looked up at him with her wide green eyes.
"Will you please tell me if you can see her outside?" Horatio questioned softly and the nurse quickly strolled over to the window. Her eyes focused on Zoë rushing through the car park with Nathan following closely, reaching out to try and place his hand on her shoulder but she picked up her speed each time she sensed he was close.
"Doctor Taylor is walking after her in the car park, sir." She exhaled softly as she turned to him and Horatio nodded. She glanced back out of the window and then tensed as she hissed quietly. She swallowed and stepped back from the window as she clenched her fists and then raised one hand to her mouth. She looked away from the bright sunlight and turned to look at Horatio, alarmed.
"What?" Horatio questioned as a deep frown imprinted on his face as he tensed himself.
"She just walked into the path of a car, she's been hit, sir." The nurse swallowed. Horatio quickly got out of bed and headed for the window at a fast rate. His mouth fell open when he saw Zoë laying on the floor in front of a dark green car with Nathan kneeling beside her. Horatio quickly turned and rushed over to the bag with his clothes in and changed as quickly as he could.
"Sir, you need to be in bed, you can't be up." The nurse said quietly as she slowly approached Horatio.
Horatio glanced up at her as he did his shirt buttons up and then looked down at the floor. "I'll be back, I need to see her." Horatio said as he threw the gown to the bed and rushed out after pulling his shoes on. Horatio quickly made his way downstairs as he tucked her gun into the back of his trousers while his gun rested in the gun holster on his hip. He reached the entrance just as he saw Nathan walking in, having ruffled his hair from running his hands vigorously through his short brown hair.
"What are you doing up?" Nathan asked frantically as he placed his hand on Horatio's upper arm. They both looked at each other, looking just as puzzled as the other.
"I saw Zoë get hit, I need to see her. Is she okay? Are you bringing her in?" Horatio questioned Nathan as he frowned heavily and placed his hands upon his hips.
Nathan sighed as he shook his head gently and then rubbed his forehead. "She walked away and got into a taxi, I couldn't go after her; I can't leave the premises. The car wasn't going fast so I don't think she's done much damage. But she refused to let me look at her and threatened to scream if I touched her. Horatio, she's manic, I've not seen her this panicked since the first time she was brought in." Nathan said as he fisted at his hair again, clearly very stressed. 'She threatened to scream if he touched her? What is going through her head? Zoë doesn't use threats like that, she hates causing a scene.' Horatio thought as he took a deep breath and tried to work out what was going on.
"I know it's not my place, but what has happened with her Horatio? She flinched when I went to touch her arm earlier, she doesn't flinch when I touch her. I don't know what's going on in her head but she looks to be in a very vulnerable state right now." Nathan said honestly as he mimicked Horatio's stance by putting his hands on his hips.
Horatio sighed and rubbed his forehead as he looked down to his shoes. "I told you to be gentle with her, being gentle means no contact with her if it's possible, I said no bodily contact. She… she doesn't want anyone but me within her personal space, and that's only on occasions. I'm going to go and find her." Horatio said as he moved around Nathan, having briefly glanced up at him.
"No, you can't, you need to get back into that bed. You've been shot, Horatio. Phone Eric to go and find her or something, you need to stay here." Nathan said as he stopped Horatio with a firm hand on his shoulder. Horatio pulled from his hand and then pulled out his phone when it bleeped at him.
"I knew you were too good to be true." He read the text as it popped up under Zoë's name. His heart rate quickened immediately as he felt a pit forming deep within his stomach.
"No!" Horatio said as he ran a hand through his hair and then gripped a handful as he gawped down at his screen. He took a very deep breath and then proceeded to move around Nathan and began to head towards the entrance. Nathan tried stopping him again.
"Horatio, I need you back on my ward, you cannot leave this hospital." Nathan said firmly.
"I need to sort this out now; she thinks that nurse was doing more than changing my bandage, she's misunderstanding the situation. She must've got the wrong impression!" Horatio continued to walk out with his hands firmly on his hips.
"I need you to sign papers if you insist on leaving." Nathan said as he walked beside him.
"I'll come back later, I am not wasting any more time." Horatio said firmly as he walked out.
"Horatio–"
"I won't hold you liable if something was to happen to me, okay?" Horatio added as he began to rush out once again and headed over to a taxi. Nathan let him go as he knew that there was no way he was going to get Horatio back. Nathan just stood in the middle of the corridor and sighed to himself. 'They are probably two of my most difficult patients, ever.' He thought to himself and then started off back up to the ward.
Horatio arrived home and clambered out of the taxi, he walked up to the house and put the code in. He placed his hand over the door handle and pushed down but the handle didn't give way. He frowned at it.
"Access denied" Horatio read the screen above the key pad and tilted his head. 'She's locked me out!' Horatio realised as he looked down to the plant pots and then rubbed his forehead. An idea then clicked in his head and he put the code in again, then picked up the key and it turned in the door. He pushed the door open and stepped into the cool house. He quickly closed the door and kicked his shoes off before he headed to the stairs. He could hear something upstairs and just hoped she hadn't hurt herself.
"Zoë" Horatio called loudly as he rushed upstairs and stood in the door frame as he leant against it.
"Zoë, what are you doing sweetheart?" Horatio questioned as he walked in to find her throwing her clothes into a suitcase. She glanced up at him and he saw that her eyes were red raw as she quickly wiped her nose with a tissue she pulled from her pocket. She stood straight and placed her hands on her hips as she hardened her stance. He saw the hurricane brewing in her red eyes.
"I'm not getting into the situation my mother was stuck in! If you want an affair, you can do it without me!" She cried and then gritted her teeth as she shook her head. "I love you and you do that to me." She whispered as she looked down at the clothes that had been slung into the suitcase. "I knew you were too good to be true." She added with a quieter whisper.
"Zoë" he called very softly but her eyes remained firmly on the suitcase as her fingers entwined with each other.
"Zoë" he repeated with equal delicacy just as he watched her lips press into a hard line as she sniffed quietly.
"Zoë, look at me please." He almost begged her and she looked up at him with possibly the hardest and sharpest look she'd ever shot him. He looked at her distraught and then approached her as he reached out for her. She quickly backed off with a sharp intake of air followed by a succession of rapid small breaths just as she flinched. Her heart rate doubled in the matter of seconds as she looked down at the cream carpet and wrapped her arms around herself. He saw that she had tensed a lot. He quickly took a step back when he saw the terror in her eyes when she quickly glanced up at him. He was distraught as he knew that she thought he was going to hurt her. He'd never seen her react so drastically to someone. 'She wasn't even that timid when she started working with us, was she? Yet she's terrified of me right now and she knows I'd never hurt her.' Horatio questioned himself softly as he lowered his head and tilted to the side.
"Zoë" he said very gently, almost whispering and then watched her take a deep breath.
"Zoë she was changing my bandage… that's all." Her eyes connected with his as she looked up with a scowl. He swallowed, readying himself for the next sting.
She bared her teeth as a dark expression appeared, just as a frightened and trapped animal would do. "If you weren't happy you should have told me! I gave you my heart! I carried your baby! I'm… you… If you wanted something more, then you should have told me! If you weren't happy then I would have done anything to make you happy!" She cried at him and then launched her watch at him. With a swift move he caught the heavy silver watch, he knew she'd purposely aimed it just to the right of his head, he knew it wouldn't have hit him.
"Zoë, listen to me sweetheart, she was just changing my bandages. Zoë, I would never cheat on you; you are the only woman in my world and will be the only woman in my world for the rest of my life. I would never even think about doing anything like that. Zoë, you know me, you know I would never do anything like that. I'd take my life before doing anything like that to you. I love you with all my heart, Zoë, you have my heart and always will. You are my world, Zo. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life right now, and that's because I'm with you, Zo. I promise you that she was only changing my bandages, look they're new, they're fresh. I'd never hurt you Zoë, never, not physically and certainly not emotionally like that." Horatio pleaded as he pulled his trousers down and showed her the fresh bandages. She closed her eyes as she paused and pressed her chin to her chest.
"Zoë" Horatio whispered as he tilted his head with a furrowed brow. She burst into hysterical tears once she glanced up at him. She covered her face with her hands as she slid down the wall and pulled her knees up to her chest as she sat on the floor. She exhaled a loud moan as she cried and it broke Horatio's heart.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She sobbed loudly as she hugged her knees closer to her chest and shook her head, rubbing her forehead against her knees.
"It's okay, Zoë." Horatio said warmly as he crouched down in front of her after doing his trousers up.
"No it's not! How could I think such a thing? I know you wouldn't do that." She cried as she looked up at him, with her eyes piercing his. She saw the sympathetic look he gave her and she hated herself more.
"Don't look at me like that!" She shouted as she looked back down, unable to look at his expression.
"Zoë, it's okay." Horatio tried assuring her as his knee met with the carpet as he leant on his thigh.
"No it's not Horatio! I accused you of something that you'd never do. I am so sorry. I accused you of something repulsive. I can't believe that thought ran through my head, I don't understand how a thought like that even entered my head. You've done nothing but support me since day 1, and this is how I repay you?! I'm disgusted at myself. I let him get to me!" Zoë cried as she looked up at Horatio as she shook her head at him. Her hands tightened into tighter fists as she dug her nails into her palms. She put her head back down again and exhaled another moan before she sniffed again.
"Zoë" Horatio whispered warmly. "Zoë" he called again, delicately, but a little more authoritatively and she looked up at him with an upside-down smile imprinted on her lips. He saw the twitching of her chin and then looked back up into her eyes.
"Zoë, I'm telling you that it's okay. I understand. These past few weeks have been tough, your hormones are playing up too, I don't blame you sweetheart. I forgive you." Horatio said tenderly and she looked into his eyes, she saw his forgiveness, but didn't want to believe it. 'No! He shouldn't be forgiving me, he deserves better than the shit he has to put up from me.' She thought to herself but was pulled from her thoughts by his next few words.
"I love you, Zoë." Horatio said sincerely as he slowly edged closer to her. He could see that she was still frightened, but he could also see her need for comfort making a dramatic show.
"I'm so sorry" she apologised again and then slowly reached out to him. He saw that she was asking for comfort and felt safe in going to touch her without causing an adverse reaction. He moved closer and pulled her into a tight embrace. He felt her breathing pick up as his comfort set her off again. She pushed her hand through his hair as she took a tight hold of his shirt. He lost his hand in her hair as he took a deep breath and inhaled her scent as it engulfed him. He gently moved his head against hers, moving his nose into her hair.
"I am so, so sorry Horatio." She cried into his shirt as she tensed once again.
"It's okay sweetheart, I forgive you." Horatio said softly.
"I'm sorry for scaring you when I approached you." Horatio whispered into her hair as she listened to the sound of his steady heartbeat.
"No, that was my fault, I know you wouldn't hurt me. You shouldn't be apologising for that, I should. I'm sorry for backing off you. It's just for the split second I thought that my childhood was replaying again, I thought that you were turning into my father in that you were having an affair with a nurse and would then hurt me." She mumbled as Horatio handed her a tissue as he pulled her head from his chest.
"I'd never hurt you." Horatio said tenderly as he ran his thumb down one of the tear tracks on her soft cheek and then tilted his head to the other side. He moved his hand from her back to her knee and gently moved it, feeling the fabric beneath his palm.
"I know, Horatio, I know that."
"I love you Zoë, and only you."
"I love you so much, Horatio. If there's anything I can do to make up for my repulsive accusations please tell me. I'll let you do what you want to me, you can hit me if you want, I deserve it. You can… on me, anything Horatio, whatever makes you happy, do whatever you need to do. I need to suffer because of my actions." She said as she furrowed her brow as she lightly bit her bottom lip. She then glanced down to his top button as she tried to compose herself.
"Zoë, look at me." He said a little more firmly and she quickly looked back up at him as she lowered her eyebrows and pressed her lips into a hard line, genuinely expecting him to slap her across the face. She tightened her jaw, ready for the blow.