Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, just playing with them...
Title: Broken
Pairing: Catherine/Jackie
Rating: M for later chapters
(Jackie's POV)
I'm nervous, my mind is spinning. What if she's not here? What if she has company? Or has moved on?
"I miss you" I clutch onto that voice; it's the only thing that will push me through. I'm terrified.
I've been sat outside her house for over an hour, thinking of what to say, how not to screw it up. "I miss you" it's like a mantra running through my head. I'm knocking on the door, though I don't remember standing up.
My heart is racing as I hear her shuffling to answer the door. My mouth is like sandpaper and my mind has gone blank making the last hour a total waste. I am more terrified than my first visit to this house where I thought she would murder me. My biggest fear now is rejection.
The door opens and my Catherine is revealed. Except she isn't right, she looks awful. Tired, skin and bones, her eyes are red and swollen. I now realize the full impact of my actions and know words are useless. I push the door open further and pull her into my arms. Kissing her forehead, murmuring reassurances more for myself than for her. I kick the door shut and manover us to the couch, never wanting to let her go again. She falls asleep, and after the long flight I feel myself going too, my last thought being of my Catherine.
(Catherine's POV)
I wake with a start, Jackie. But no, it was just another dream- or rather nightmare. Every night I am reunited with Jackie and every morning she is torn away from me all over again, leaving me feeling empty and alone.
After a few moments I realize I smell coffee and something else... pancakes maybe? I shake my head trying to rid the grasp sleep still has on me. Before I realize I am quietly jogging to the kitchen, heart racing and hope building... could it really be my porcupine? Hope is a sneaky thing... I lightly open the door, releasing the breath I didn't know I was holding as Jackie is revealed to me.
"Jackie" I whisper. She looks happy, and I wish I'd been able to retract her name as I've broken the spell. She's looking at me with such intensity and before I realize I'm stumbling into her arms.
"I've missed you Porcupine" I murmur into her shoulder and suddenly am hit with a wave of self-consciousness. I'm a mess, and she looks as beautiful as ever.
(Jackie's pov)
Catherine looks worse in the cold light of day. I had been laid next to her, watching her sleep. It became unbearable seeing how much I've hurt her by leaving. She is a shadow of the girl I left a month ago. I try to make a plan, the first on the list is food so I sneak out from her grasp and pretend I don't hear the whimper of despair leave her lips.
That voice -as sad and unsure as it is- I would know anywhere. I turn around and see Catherine looks dazed, she stumbles towards me and I catch her. I almost miss the tiny murmur "I missed you Porcupine" but kiss her cheek and smile at her blush.
I seat her at the table and pour us some coffee; I take over a huge stack of pancakes, hoping I'm not being too obvious. An awkward silence falls on us as we both know we are going to have to talk.
(Catherine's POV)
I made the call so I figure I should say something first… "I'm glad you came"
Jackie shakes her head softly. "What happened Catherine?"
I can't meet her eyes, so I bend my head ashamed that I broke in weakness and called her, that she is seeing me like this. "I'm sorry" I choke on my words. I know this isn't what she wants to hear.
"Jackie, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called, I just… I just lost my willpower I guess..."
"What!" she snaps. Fuck she's angry. "Catherine you should have called weeks ago! Just look at yourself, you're a mess. Where has my confident gangster vampire gone!"
I feel tears in my eyes, who would want someone like me. She's right, I'm a mess but it hurt so much coming from her.
As harshly as I can I say "Go home Jackie, I don't want you here." Without looking back I go to my room and crawl under the covers using the pillows to muffle my crying.
(Jackie's POV)
CRAP! Not only is she pissed with me, she didn't even eat. My thoughts are interrupted by the soft sounds of crying coming from upstairs. I was too harsh to her, she's changed.
I softly push open the bedroom door, pad over to her bed and crawl in, pulling her to me. She doesn't resist. I dry her eyes and whisper "You may be a mess Catherine, but you're my mess." This earns me a small smile. I roll on top of her and place butterfly kisses on her face. I brush her hair from her eyes and lower my lips to hers in a soft graze. My skin is on fire, and I'm buzzing from the tiny whimpers of need she releases which spur me on… God I love this girl.