Chapter 3: Melt down.

[A/N] If you haven't finished the game yet skip the paragraph between the XXXX as there's a spoiler in there. Cheers :D

It was a rough night on the boat last night. After Johan patched me up, Sam went to her room because she thought that if she stayed here, she would hurt me again. I tried to make her stay but she wouldn't listen to me. Sam doesn't know it but I'm falling apart. I put on a brave face for Sam, if she sees me weak even for a moment, She'll lose all hope.

After we were rescued I fell in a heap. Sam nearly jumped off the boat to get to me and I just told them I was tired. I can't tell them that I feel like dying right here and now. I killed people on the island... Lots of people. God I'm a monster, I'm just as bad as they were. I killed them without a second thought. How can I live with that?

I roll over and stare at the ceiling when I heard the door open a crack.

"Please come in Sam" I whisper.

She slowly comes through the door and sits on the end of my bed.

"Well are you going to get in?" I ask hoping that she accepts my offer. I don't know what I'm feel, but I know I can't get enough of her. It's like I need her to survive. She moves toward me, pulls back the covers and climbs in, her scent filling my nose.

"Hmm you're so cold Lara" she sighs, burying her head into my neck. Her hands glide over my shoulder blades then down my waist, her fingers lingering on the patch up wound.

"I know, sorry" I mumble as rest my chin on her head.

"We'll be reaching Japan soon" she whispers.

"I know but then we have to catch a plane to England, while trying to avoid the press" I laugh "the press are going to be hard to avoid, they're always so pushy"

She giggles into my neck and it sends heat all though my body. I sigh deeply.

XXXXXXXXX

"We need to plan something for Roth" she whispers, her voice waves like she's about to cry.

I didn't need to be reminded of that. Roth died... He died, just like my father did. I have no one now... I'm alone. If I didn't take that axe, he'd be alive, he'd be here with me.

XXXXXXXX

A growl leaves my throat and I push Sam aside and pace up and down the room.

"What's wrong Lara?" She gets up and sits on the end of the bed.

"What's wrong? What's wrong you asked. Are you fucking blind!?" I scream. What's happening to me? Shit, I'm having a break down. No not now Lara, not now!

I clench my fists into a tight ball. I need to scream, punch someone or something otherwise I'll explode! I walk over to the walk and slam my closed fists on it. The shockwaves run through my arms and half way down my chest. I breathe heavily, my breathe coming out staggered. Sam jumps up off the bed and wraps her arms around my waist, resting her head against my back. I stare down at the ground.

"It's okay Lara... I'm sorry" she whispers

"Sorry? Sorry about what?" I still have my eyes closed.

"I was making you worry about me all the time. I didn't even realise that you were falling apart" she tightens her grip.

I fall to the ground in tears, I can't take this anymore.

"It okay Lara, it's okay" Sam's voice is smoothing but it's not enough to break me from this place.

I stay there for a few hours crying until I have no more tears to cry. Sam repeats 'It's okay, it okay' over and over again.

I'm sorry Sam I didn't want you to see me like this.
I'm sorry.

[A/N] So I think it's good to see Lara in this state I mean she did save Sam for that crazy freak man. She's allowed to break down.
Anyways stay tuned for chapter 4 but it might now be a while as I'm pretty busy this week.

- Lightning