But Someone Had to Be the First to Break:
When Toby woke up the next morning, he immediately made his way to the kitchen while still trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. When he reached the top of the stairs, he nearly tripped and toppled down them because he hadn't remembered falling asleep at the Farm House the night before. His heart was racing from the near miss, so he stayed stationary until he caught his breath and felt a lot calmer.
How did I forget that I was here? I guess I must have been more tired than I thought I was, he thought to himself once he started to descend the stairs.
As soon as he hit the living room floor, he could smell the intoxicating aroma of the breakfast that was being prepared. Unexpectedly, he laughed out loud at the thought.
Seriously? Dad's cooking me breakfast? Now this I have GOT to see!
Toby nearly tripped over his feet as he started to sprint towards the kitchen, laughing all the while. As he approached the other room, Toby finally slowed his pace and then he stood in the doorway completely stunned at the scene before him.
"I would catch a grenade for you… Throw my head on a blade for you…" He heard the chef singing cheerfully along with the radio.
Toby tried to speak, really he did, but his words seemed to have gotten caught somewhere in his throat. Then without his consent or knowledge, his brain stopped functioning properly as well. After his brain stopped communicating with his muscles, Toby's knees gave out and he just barely got a strong grip on the door's frame before he fell over.
"Oh hey there sleepy head! Are you doing alright Buddy?"
Toby nodded, staring dumbly at the stove as he somehow managed to slink over to the island and sit on a stool.
"Oh… You're going to eat over here? Are you sure you didn't want to eat over at the table?"
He shook his head with his mouth hanging open, pulling his plate of food closer to himself. He cut his food without diverting his eyes away from the stove, but he finally did turn his head in the direction of the breakfast nook as he took a bite when he heard a soft noise. He had barely started to chew his food when the originator of the noise came into view and he immediately choke on his mouthful.
"Toby! TOBY! Are you okay?" His mother questioned worriedly as she hit him hard on his back, trying desperately to help him clear his airway. "Buddy! Here, have some water… Maybe it'll help you."
He took the glass and gulped down a few mouthfuls as Addy started to gently rub his back saying, "Geez… You gave us quite a scare there Toby. Are you okay? Seriously, Buddy are you going to be alright?"
"Yeah… Mum, I'm good now, promise. I'm sorry I scared you."
She wrapped her arm around his shoulders and squeezed him briefly against her torso before she placed a quick kiss on his head.
"That's alright, no worries. Here, why don't we go and sit at the table? It might be easier for you to eat over there," she teased as she carried his plate over to the Breakfast Nook along with a smaller bowl in her other hand.
He remained completely mute and sat down, but he watched her instead of starting to try to eat again. She sat down on the opposite side of the table from him and pulled the high chair towards herself while chattering excitedly to the small child in the chair.
"Yes… Your big brother sure did sleep in, didn't he Victoria? Then he goes and scares us both like that… Not very nice of him, eh?"
Addy then picked up the bowl that she had carried over and started spoon feeding his sister but asked him, "So… You guys were out pretty late last night celebrating. Do y'all have any other plans for today at all?"
He stared at the back of her head and then managed somehow to turn his eyes in the direction of his sister.
WHAT? How is she like two already? Wait! How old am I here?
When he hesitated and didn't reply, his mother pried her eyes away from the toddler and half turned her body towards him.
"Toby? Seriously, what is up with you today? You aren't… You…?" She leaned away forward away from Victoria and quietly finished, "You weren't drinking last night, were you? Are you hung-over?"
He didn't attempt to hide that he was taken aback by her question and then he laughed uncomfortably answering, "No… Mum I'm not old enough to drink."
She smiled slyly, sat back on her chair and turned her attention back to feeding his sister.
"Sure… Okay Tobs. I'll just pretend that I don't know that Dean gave you a beer during your party on your last birthday. But just promise me that if you go to a party where people are drinking and such that you won't accept a ride with anyone who's been drinking, okay? That's all I ask."
Toby scowled and tried to wrap his head around all of the information that his Mum was telling him.
Okay… So I'm still 'ME', right? But… What the hell is going on?
She continued talking to him, but Toby barely hear anything that she was telling him about how Dean would snag a beer here or there when he was Toby age without his Grandpa John knowing or caring… Then she might have been continuing on to tell him that IF she had of actually gone to any parties while she was in high school, she probably would have drank with her friends when she was fifteen too.
"But you do understand, right Toby?"
He hadn't actually heard anything that she had said, but he could tell from the look on his Mum's face that it was fairly serious and required some sort of an answer from him.
"Of course Mum. I understand and I promise that I will."
"Good… Because you know, if I can't trust you to be upfront with Dean and me, then I guess that I'll just have to keep Phantom all to myself," she teased with a wink.
"No! No! You can trust me. I swear you can Mum!" Toby proclaimed with a chuckle.
"Good to hear. Now, eat up before your breakfast gets cold. Right Victoria? Your big brother doesn't like eating his num nums when it's cold, right?"
He nodded then once again started cutting up his meal while she sat watching him. He only stopped once she started lavishing Victoria with affection once again because he wanted to ask her a bunch of questions about this situation he found himself in, but then his stomach started to ache. So, he decided to focus on his incredible hunger pains instead of the questions that kept popping into his head.
As he ate, the two of them fell into a comfortable conversation where he learned that his varsity baseball team had just won the district finals tournament and he had been named MVP. On top of that, his Dad and Uncle were working on a difficult case and Toby was helping with research as usual. Since he had no idea what case his Mum was referring to, he just answered with a vague, "Haven't found anything concrete yet," when she inquired about how things were developing on his end.
"Yeah… He was worried about that. So…"
Before Addy could complete her thought, they both paused when they heard the back door open.
"Hey Buddy!" Dean greeted cheerfully. "You finally decided to join the land of the living, huh? What time did you finally get in last night?"
Toby swallowed his last mouthful of food hard and then replied, "Umm… I'm not really sure… Umm… Late?"
His parents exchanged a highly amused look and then Dean clamped a strong hand down on Toby's shoulder saying, "Hey, it's okay Buddy. You know that the two of us have already told you that as long as we know where you are and who you're with, you won't have a curfew when you stay with us… And Mo and Bill still don't have to know about our arrangement. Alright?"
Toby smiled at both of his birth parents then replied, "Honestly Dad, I totally lost track of time, so I'm really not sure what time I got in."
"Well I can't say that I haven't been there Tobs… So… Are you all packed up and ready to head out with me and your Uncle Sam?"
Dean didn't really wait at all for his son's reply before moving toward the two females on the other side of the table.
"Hey there Baby Girl… Did you miss your Daddy while I was stuck working outside all by myself?"
Toby watched in amusement as his father stretched his arms out towards his sister but his mother quickly smacked them away. Addy picked Victoria up and moved away from Dean as she scolded him, "Dean! You are NOT going to touch her with your grimy hands again! I told you that you should clean up in the garage when you were done working on the Impala's engine. Now go! Get away!"
"But Laaayyy! I missed her so much and look! She missed me too!" He countered as he slowly moved towards the retreating mother.
"No Dean! She was in tears last time while I scrubbed the grease out of her hair. Now go! Go and wash your hands first and then you can play with her all you want," Addy proclaimed as she struggled to balance the fussy two year old while trying to move further away from Dean.
They both heard Toby snort in a laugh and turned to look at him. He wasn't about to get in the middle of their playful fight, so he stood up and took his plate to the sink saying through his laughter, "Umm… I think that I'm going to head upstairs and triple check that I have everything that I need packed up."
"Geez! Thanks soo much for the backup there Toby!" His mother called after him once he moved out of the room.
He was set on heading upstairs and only paused for a moment when he heard, "Dean! I mean it! Dean! DAMN IT! FINE! But… YOU get to be the bad guy this time! I'm not bathing her with all that grease on her!" before continuing to his room, laughing all the while.
This time when Toby woke up, he could feel that his pillow had been moistened by his tears. He didn't make a move to get out of bed and just rolled over onto his back thinking, Now that… That was a dream, right? Mum… She never had another baby before she… She… And she's… Mum's gone, right? Right?
A quick check of his clock told him that it was really quite early in the day. With everything that had been going on lately, he knew that there was no way his Mom and Pop would be upset if he decided to start his day at this hour. He snaked his right hand under his pillow to retrieve her knife as his left hand turned on his bedside amp so he could inspect the blade once again.
He looked at the blade, knowing that it would most likely just be its smooth, pristine silver self. But then he noticed that at the base of it, right where the silver metal connected with the rosewood hilt, that there were a couple of dark droplets that he hadn't seen before.
Blood! He thought touching it gingerly. I JUST cleaned it, so that is definitely new!
Toby rolled out of bed and crawled to the spot where she had been standing to check for any other evidence of her presence. There was no blood on the carpet where the knife had dented the fibers that he could immediately see. Just to be sure, Toby dug his fingers into the carpet, but he still didn't find anything there amongst the carpet fibers that he had secretly hoped for.
Okay… Where else was she in the room? Think Toby, think!
He surveyed the room from his spot on the floor, desperately hoping that an idea would jump out at him. From what he could recall, she had been by the window and then she walked over to his bed and sat down on it… There had to be something in this room that proved that… If it really happened.
SALT LINE!
His heart skipped a beat because at the foot of his bed, he noticed that his salt like had in fact been disturbed. Dean chuckled every time when Toby was in charge of laying down the lines because Toby always made sure that the one by his bed or door jamb was the thickest. His father would comment every time that just because the salt like was wider didn't make it any safer. Toby knew that was true, but he still continued to do it anyway.
Now his line had a foot print in it, so he crawled over to investigate it. The print looked way too small to be his own, but he still stood up and placed his foot beside it to compare sizes. It also looked like it was just the ball of the person's foot that made it, which further confirmed in his mind that it had to be hers.
Was she wearing heels when she was here? Yeah, she was, right?
He placed his hand on the foot print and soon felt tears as they dripped onto his skin.
"Mum," he whispered to himself. "I need you to come back."
As the realization of the truth of what had happened hit him, Toby broke down into tears. He hadn't really allowed himself to cry much after he had found her in the living room because he had wanted to prove his 'strength' to his family, but now that she had come back to him, his feelings of relief over-powered him and Toby relented completely to it.
"Mum…"
*************
Change of POV
*************
He leaned down and quickly swallowed my cries with a kiss.
"Lay… Shh… You're going to wake Bobby up."
I planted my feet on the mattress with my legs still firmly wrapped around his thighs in an attempt to shift my hips under his weight, panting out, "It's… Your… Fault… Dean… Keep… Hitting… That… Spot."
He smiled down at me devilishly with a twinkle in his eye as he slowed his thrusts trying to hit the spot again and again. I released his arms from my death grip to grab a pillow then stifled my blissful scream. He would have laughed at me, but his own orgasm hit him, rendering him completely mute.
We stared at each other then Dean leaned down and kissed me softly. His forehead crinkled in thought, but he didn't say anything while he pushed some sweaty hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear. While I watched him, I stayed completely still, trying my best to catch my breath. Even though I willed my heart to slow down, it just continued to beat erratically from me being this close to him.
When he rolled onto his back, he broke any and all physical contact. Dean then folded his hands over his stomach and stared at the ceiling deep in his own thoughts. I flipped over and moved closer to him but refrained from speaking. He looked like he was trying to solve some sort of a puzzle, so I wanted to give him time to think… Even if this was just one of the hottest dreams that I had ever had.
Dean finally turned his eyes towards me when I kissed his shoulder and slid my hand over his torso towards both of his.
"This is when you usually disappear without a word," he announced softly.
There was no anger or accusation in his tone, so I continued lavishing his flesh with kisses until I reached his ear.
"Well, I'm still here, so why don't we play out the rest of my fantasy?"
I straddled his waist and sat up on his stomach while I awaited his reply. He followed my movements with his sad eyes but moved nothing else. I desperately wanted to keep this dream going, but I couldn't figure out why Dean was being so hesitant right now. I started tracing an invisible line down his chest from a scar to a freckle to a healing cut to a bruise until I reached his still folded hands.
I gently unlaced his fingers to his hands on my hips but stopped when I saw his left hand.
"Dean? Is that…?"
He nodded and pulled his hand out of my grasp. When he started to speak, he twisted the ring on his finger, staring at it sadly and sounded like he was talking to someone who wasn't actually there.
"Toby and I got the envelopes you left for us…" He looked up from his hands at me then caressed my cheek with his left hand as he continued, "I wish I could have thanked you… For everything… And I wish I could have apologized to you too."
His voice broke slightly, but he managed not to cry somehow. I held his hand that was lightly touching him face and kissed his palm.
"It's okay Dean… Let's not talk about all of that now…"
I felt like he was looking through me as he said, "I miss you so much. Why did you leave me?"
I bent down and kissed him. "I'm sorry Dean. Let me make it up to you." I gently rocked my hips and his hands immediately moved to my sides. "Make love to me Dean."
He smiled against my lips and started repositioning himself asking, "So what fantasy is this one?"
After we were reconnected, I rolled my hips slowly and moved my mouth to his ear. "This one? It's just being with you Dean… That's my only fantasy."
His hips thrust up hard in reply, but after that he let me control the pace once again. As I started to feel my climax building, I threw my head back and started chanting, "Yes… Dean… Yes…"
He squeezed my hips hard which brought me somewhat out of my trance. I bit down on my lip and smiled down at him apologetically. He then moved his left hand up to my right breast and started to massage it softly.
"Dean," I growled in the back of my throat.
It was meant to be a warning, but Dean took it as a challenge. He pushed himself into a seated position so that he could clamp his lips onto my scarred collarbone.
"De… Ee... Een," I nearly whimpered, trying to keep from raising my voice.
He chuckled against my skin then quietly said, "Do I make you want to scream?"
I tried to glare at him, but my pleasure ripped through me hard. I grabbed the sides of his head to cry out loudly into mouth, pushing him completely over the edge.
I continued kissing him, saying between my embraces, "Bastard. You're playing dirty."
He laid back down and ran his hands up and down my back, smiling smugly.
"Well, I learned from the master."
We shared another soft kiss and then I made myself comfortable on my side next to him. He moved in closer so that my back was flush against his chest. Once his left arm was draped over me, I picked up his hand and kissed the back of each of his fingers.
"This was another fantasy of mine," I told him with a tear filled tone once I reached the finger with the ring.
He kissed my neck and held me tight, but before he could speak I blurted out, "Dean? Are you seriously ready to go again?"
He gently grabbed my inner thigh to move my leg back and over his hip. As I felt him guide himself into me once again he whispered, "Maybe you won't disappear on me if we keep going at it."
My hand found his to help him position himself, but I didn't say anything else. Dean placed his chin on my shoulder to start nibbling on my earlobe and all I could think was, A night filled with the hottest sex ever with Dean? Thank you God! Best dream ever!
The sun hit Dean's face, forcing him to open his eyes. He found himself laying on his side with his arm stretched over the empty half of his bed as if he had been holding someone in his arms, but no one else was present. He tenderly rubbed the mattress and sighed sadly that it was completely cold.
Reluctantly he threw the covers off his body and stared down at his naked body. He sat up on the bed trying to remember anything about the night before. He didn't have a headache or dry mouth that normally accompanied a hangover, so he was pretty sure that he hadn't passed out after drinking too much… Again. But memory of his dream of being with Addy came back fleetingly and he smiled.
He slowly walked around the room to pick up his randomly discarded clothes, shaking his head all the while. Maybe he had finished that bottle of Jack he cracked open last night.
In the kitchen, he nodded politely at Bobby before helping himself to a mug of coffee. Bobby shook his head then turned back to the food he was cooking on the stove. He didn't hesitate to split the meal into two equal portions on two plates then met Dean at the kitchen table.
Dean smiled appreciatively as he started to devour the meal presented to him. He hadn't noticed any of the looks that Bobby had given him up until now, but he did finally look up when the older male cleared his throat dramatically.
"What's up Bobby?" Dean asked innocently.
Bobby took a long drink of his water, but after swallowing he still looked very troubled. His face scrunched up into a frustrated look, but he soldiered on and said, "Look son, I'm not one to judge because frankly I'm happy that you're moving on… But Dean… Don't you think that you should be focusing on Sam right now?"
Dean put down his fork at that question and stared at Bobby dumbly.
"I mean," the older male continued uncomfortably. "Maybe you should call Cas and check to see if what Death did worked, is all… You know instead of bringing home some random girl from the bar and making her sneak off before morning."
Dean had to spit out his coffee so that he could ask, "You… You heard her?"