Fado sat whistling a tuneless song as he pounded nails into a wooden stall gate. After a troublesome evening of comforting panicked goats, and finding the one escapee, he now was fixing Hardinger the goat's stall door. Finding wood for it hadn't been the problem. Remaking it wasn't much of a problem either. No, it was Hardinger.
He had had a good stock of goats this year, and didn't have any empty stalls to put the troublesome goat in. Hardy kept attempting to eat the rope and nails he was using to remake the door, and chew on the fresh wood. A growing pile of ruined tools sat against the adjacent wall. Strangely enough, once the supplies were ruined, Hardinger totally lost interest in them, preferring the fresh and innocent metal, rope, and wood sitting in neat piles around Fado's feet as he knelt, attaching the door to the stall wall.
He had tried sending the stubborn goat out into the field, but apparently the mysterious thing it's master was doing with his stall was much too interesting. Hardy would ram his head into the barn door until straw rained down from the thatched roof, and he was afraid that the whole building would cave in. So, Fado had relented and here they were, with one broken stall, several dozen ruined tools, and a newly dented barn door.
Hardy bleated and tried again to sneakily reach around Fado's hand to munch on a mouthful of succulent metal.
"Hardy!" he scolded the goat. Hardy took no notice. Fado shoved the animal's head away. "No," he told the goat sternly. Hardinger bowed his head sadly and backed away. Fado didn't let that fool him. He knew it was only a ploy so that he might lower his guard, and then snap! Another mouthful of tools would be gone. It had already happened three times that evening. He wasn't going to fall for it again.
All of a sudden, there was a loud crashing sound and a bizarre man landed on the floor inside Hardy's stall, bits of straw raining down on him from the brand new hole in the ceiling. Oh joy.
"Wha- Who are you?" Fado asked, completely shocked. The oddly dressed man stood up, brushing straw off of his poofy, orange, polka-dotted trousers- if they could be called trousers. Aside from the pants, the guy was wearing a really short, blue diamond-patterned, green shirt. The ridiculous thing had sleeves that ended and poofed around the elbow, looking like large, deformed cabbages. Most of his belly was exposed, showing a bit of hair on his chest shaped like a Christmas tree, which was a bit more than Fado wanted to see. His burgundy hair was held in such a way that it looked like an upside-down turnip on his head. Large grayish-blue earrings hung from his ears, and to top it all off, he was wearing horrid bright blue and orange makeup over his eyes and face.
"I am Falibi!" The outlandish guy proclaimed proudly, "Could you perhaps tell me where I am?"
"Uh, Ordon Village," Fado answered, not sure what to make of the man. "Could I ask what you're doing here?"
"Oh, I flew in on my partner Fyer at the wrong time, see, he was mad because he had to give this guy, ah, Link was his name! Fyer was mad because he had to give Link free passage to the desert, which would normally cost him 30 rupees! And that's a discount! I usually charge twenty rupees for my game, but you can earn even more along the way! It's great! Would you like to play Flight by Fowl sometime?" Taken aback, Fado was momentarily at a loss for words.
"Oh, uh… maybe. I don't leave Ordon all that much you see," Off to the side, Hardy had been sneakily munching on wood and nails. The goat suddenly noticed the bright orange tassels hanging from Falibi's trousers. Bleating in excitement at finding a new exiting treat, the goat stretched its neck over to chomp a tassel off in one mega goat bite. Falibi felt a strong tug on his pants. Though it was tough fabric, it stood no chance against Hardinger's indestructible jaws and teeth. They could chew through anything.
"HEY!" Falibi shrieked, "Those are my special pants! Get off!" With surprising strength, the colorful man shoved the goat so hard, Hardy actually slid backwards a few feet. It was too late. The last bits of orange tassel disappeared down the goat's gullet. Falibi examined his ruined pants, and glared menacingly at Hardinger.
"I'm out of here!" Falibi stormed out of the barn and down the path. Fado watched him leave, and turned to Hardy.
"You are more trouble than you're worth," he glared at the goat, "You never eat clothes, got it?" Hardinger bleated helpfully and munched rebelliously on some rope.
~/_\~
A/N Wohoo! I'm on a roll! Wasn't expecting to be able to squeeze in this many chapters so soon, but here they are! I have no idea how long this fic is going to be, but I'm already planning some extra after-fic chapters that are a bit ish crossovers- one with Doctor Who and one with an out-of-game Zelda character- who happens to be a certain fairy wannabe.
So, anyway, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, and if I want a lot of chapters, I need more ideas! Please give me some! Preferably in-game characters/enemies/other that would have a plausible excuse to be in the barn, because if I can't find an excuse, I'm not doing it.
One last thing, for those that aren't looking on my profile, I am currently swamped with school and have no idea when I will update, but I will when I can. I will also (if you're logged in) try to answer any and all reviews! I might miss a few, because FF isn't kind enough to tell me who I've replied to and who I haven't. So, sorry if I miss your review. Thanks!
P.S. Kudos if you can find the Percy Jackson and the Olympians reference!