Authors Note: I want to apologize for taking so long to update this story. I had started writing Something Lost, Something Gained at the same time as this one, and that one kind of sucked me in. But as it is finally completed, I have resumed writing this story. Thanks for your patience.
Daryl's eyes flickered open as he felt the thin mattress shift beside him. Remembering where he was, he slowly turned his head, only to come face to face with Carol, lying next to him on her stomach with her head propped up on her elbows.
"Good morning sleepyhead." she said cheerfully as she grinned at him.
"Morning." he said gruffly. He ran a hand over his face as he wiped the sleep from his eyes. Carol was still curled up beside him in the small bed, and he came to realize his arm was wrapped tightly around her waist. His first instinct was to pull it away, but he suppressed it. He lay there next to her for a moment in complete silence, unsure of what to say next. Luckily, Carol decided to break the silence for him. She snuggled closer to him, propping her chin on his chest to meet his eyes.
"You know, if I had known it would be this easy to get you in my bed, I would have told you weeks ago that I was dying." she said, a flicker of sadness in her blue eyes, but the silly grin never leaving her lips.
Daryl lay there in shock. "How can you joke about this?" he asked. "It's not funny."
"Nothing else I can do. If I can't laugh about it, then what else is there? I'm not going to spend the time I have left feeling sorry for myself. I spent way too much of my life living that way. It is what it is. I have to find joy in the small things." With that she swung a leg over his waist, practically straddling him before quickly climbing from the bed.
He blushed as she stood before him, her thin frame still clad in nothing more than her black bra and panties. In the light of the morning sun, he noticed things he had not seen the previous night. The light dusting of freckles that dotted her creamy skin, the soft swell of her breasts above the low cut lace bra. He knew he was staring, but found that he couldn't look away. He lifted a hand to reach for her, but she had already turned away. She bent down, picking up her jeans from the pile on the floor. She quickly slid them on, grabbing a clean long sleeved shirt from her bag. He was about to say something, recalling her heat stroke, but stopped himself when she slipped it on and he saw that it was so light it was almost see through. Fully dressed, she turned around, giving him a sweet smile before sitting herself down on the edge of the cot to pull her boots on. She glanced at him once she finished tying her laces.
"Thank you Daryl, for staying with me last night." she said, reaching over to give his hand a quick squeeze.
He looked down, noting the way her hand was lingering above his. He had so many things he needed to say to her, but when it came time to speak he found he had lost the words. He didn't know how to do this. How to tell her how much she meant to him, how much he loved her. But he had to tell her, before it was too late. He took a deep breath before sitting up in the bed, and taking her hand in his. "Carol, we need to talk." he said.
Carol leaned over and gave him a light kiss on his cheek before pulling her hand from his and standing. "I know what you're going to say, but please don't. I know you want me to tell everyone about my condition, but I'm just not ready yet. I'll do it in my own time. Now if you don't mind, some of us have work to do." she said teasingly, a bright smile forming on her lips. She was out of the cell before he even had a chance to respond.
He wanted nothing more than to follow her, pull her into his arms, and never let go. But the reality of the situation was that he just wasn't that guy. He wasn't one for grand gestures and flowery words. But he had to find a way to show her how he felt. He just had no idea how he was going to do that. Glancing at the window, it dawned on him how late in the morning it was. He stood from the bed, stretching his sore muscles as he slipped his boots on. He was not looking forward to facing the group, knowing what he knew. But he had promised Carol that he wouldn't reveal her secret and he intended to keep that promise.
After taking a few minutes to collect his thoughts, he left the cell and headed for the kitchen. Despite the dark thoughts clouding his own mind, the scene he walked into was a happy one. The smell of eggs, coffee and leftover turkey filled the air. He spotted Carol already sitting at one of the small tables, looking slightly uncomfortable as Beth, Hershel and even Carl fussed over her, making sure she was feeling better after the incident in the yard.
"Will ya'll quit fussin over her. She's just fine. Just needed some sleep." he said as he dropped into the chair next to her with his breakfast, knowing the words couldn't be further from the truth. She glanced sideways at him, her eyes expressing gratitude. He didn't acknowledge it, he just kept his eyes trained on his plate. When breakfast was over, Carol stood up from her seat, collecting the dirty dishes from the table and making her way over to the sink to begin her work for the day. He hated the idea of her working so hard, knowing how weak she was, even if she was hiding it well. He had an idea, and quickly walked over to her and grabbed her elbow, startling her and causing her to drop a plate back into the soapy water in front of her.
"Daryl, what are you doing? You scared the hell out of me." she asked, gently pulling her arm from his grasp and resuming her work.
He raised his voice a bit, just enough that everyone in the room could hear. "Come on woman, you're doing guard duty with me today. Beth can handle things here." He turned to meet the eyes of the rest of the group. "Anyone have a problem with that?"
He was met by looks of confusion and one of amusement by Glenn, but no one said anything, simply shook their heads.
Taking that as permission, he grabbed Carol by the elbow again, pulling her along with him as he made his way out into the sunshine of the yard. Once they were free from the eyes and ears of the group, she stopped walking, pulling herself gently away from him.
"What was that all about?" she asked, not angry but mildly annoyed.
"I just…I thought it might be best if you stayed with me in the tower today. You work too hard and I thought you could rest." he said, wanting to say more but not really finding the words.
She looked at him, standing there, eyes downcast. She wanted to be mad, wanted to tell him that she could take care of herself, but she didn't have the heart to. He had done what he did out of concern, not out of a need for control. She simply placed her hand on his arm, causing him to lift his gaze to meet hers. "Okay Daryl, I'll rest today."
Daryl smiled a little bit, happy that she wasn't fighting him. They made their way up into the tower, Carol slipping into the chair on the balcony while Daryl leaned back against the railing, not taking his eyes off of her. Just the climb up the stairs had been hard for her. He could see that even if she didn't complain. He didn't realize how long he had been staring at her until he suddenly saw her look up, a small smile on her face. "You know, I don't think watching me counts as watch duty. Not unless you're waiting for me to turn. I think I have awhile before that happens."
He knew she meant the comment as a joke, but as if the idea of her dying wasn't bad enough, now he had a picture in his head that was more heartbreaking than anything he could imagine. Carol, sweet, vibrant Carol, dead and rotting, shambling towards him with nothing in her eyes but hunger.
"Why would you say that?" he asked, clearly upset. "I… I wouldn't let that happen to you."
Carol had regretted her words as soon as she had said them, but now, seeing the pain they had caused him, she felt like shit.
"Daryl, I'm sorry. I didn't think about it before I said it. I'm just…I'm scared okay. I try to tell myself that this is all just another cruel joke that life is playing on me. But I'm terrified. I don't want to die. Not now. Sophia is gone, but I still have people who need me."
Daryl listened to her confession and he could feel his heart begin to shatter. He stood there in silence for a moment, carefully choosing his next words. He stepped forward and crouched down in front of her. Her eyes were downcast, her expression just sort of blank. He didn't touch her, he just spoke. "Carol, I'm scared too. I don't want to lose you. I know I don't say this much, but you're one of the only people that has ever meant shit to me. I…I've needed to tell you something for a while and I ain't been man enough to say it until now. I love you."
She looked up at him, her eyes wide, clouded by the thoughts running through her mind. "What?"
He broke his gaze away from hers. This wasn't the reaction he had been expecting. He quietly said the words again. "I said, I love you." He reached for her hand, but she flinched away.
"Daryl, I… I don't know what to say. I…I need to get out of here. I need to think." she said anxiously, jumping up from her chair and leaving him still crouched down on the floor as she bolted through the door and down the stairs.
He slumped backwards, landing on his ass with a thump. "What the hell just happened?" he thought to himself as he looked at the chair where she had been sitting just a moment ago. "I tell her I love her and she runs off like I just hit her. What the fuck did I do? I thought that's what she wanted from me. She's always flirting with me and touching me. Was I wrong? Did I see something that wasn't there? Maybe I wanted it to be there. Oh, fuck, I screwed up."
His mind was a mess and he spent the rest of his watch pacing back and forth, trying to figure out a way to fix what he had done. When Glenn finally arrived to relieve him in the late afternoon, he barely acknowledged the man as he flew past him and down the steps, running towards the prison. He needed to talk to Carol. Now.
Thanks for reading. Next chapter up very, very soon. Please review!