Because I Don't Know You Anymore

"I'm pretty sure this isn't the best plan that you could have come up with."

I lowered my hand slowly and stared at the blonde male with a lean build in the reflection of the mirror, just barely holding back my tears as the feeling of absolute defeat overpowered me.

"I mean, your family has already had more than its fair share of bad luck… Do you really want to guarantee yourself seven more years?"

"Fuck… I'm pretty much stuck with a lifetime of bad luck now, aren't I?" I tearfully retorted. "Why don't you just put me out of my misery so that I'm not just sitting around wondering when the hammer is finally going to drop?"

He took a step forward, but I had my chin tilted downward while I was crying, so I completely missed the look of sadness in his ice blue eyes.

"Addy? What's wrong darling?" He asked in a gentle concerned tone that would give someone the impression that we were lifelong friends.

When he gently touched my back, I tried to flinch away, but there was nowhere for me to go. He graciously took a step back then reached to our left and pulled out a couple of tissues from a box on the counter and handed them to me.

"Addy… What did Raphael say to you to upset you so badly?" He questioned in the same worried tone.

As I blew my nose, I turned and glared at him. "As if you don't already know."

His eyes narrowed in pensive contemplation and then he gave me a sad sympathetic smile. "Addy… Darling, I'm not here to kill you… And I don't intend on allowing Raphael to lay finger on you either."

I took in a deep breath and squared my shoulders defensively to ask in a calmer tone, "Then who are you? And why ARE you here?"

To ensure that I was comfortable, he maintained his distance while he responded with a polite bow, "My name is Balthazar. I believe that my reputation may precede me if I read your thoughts correctly."

"Balthazar? But… But I thought that you were staying away from this war…"

He continued to smile warmly and passed me a few more tissues then added, "Well I was out… Up until the moment that Raphael sent his little enforcer after me. Whether I like it or not, we all have to choose a side and… Well… Frankly, Raffy pissed me off so I'm putting my considerable weight behind Castiel."

I shuddered and nearly collapsed with relief, but Balthazar thankfully stepped forward to catch me by the elbows.

"How did you find me?" I asked so quietly that he barely heard me.

The angel started to lead me out of the bathroom as he explained, "There are far more angels in Heaven that owe me a favor than there are angels that are completely loyal to Raphael… So I just called in a few of those debts."

"Oh… My… Gawd…" I started to hyperventilate with excitement but managed to get my question out. "Does that mean that I get to go home?"

He threw me an amused smirk and teased, "I could take you there, but I thought you might prefer going to Bobby's… You know to be with Dean. Maureen even packed a bag for you," He held up my Poppy's duffle bag. "Cas gave her the heads up about your condition, so hopefully everything should fit."

I chewed on my bottom lip then Balthazar gently wiped away a tear that trickled down my cheek as I whispered, "No… Bobby's would be perfect."

"Hey! You boys broke it, so you boys get to fix it!" We heard Bobby's voice proclaim from his study.

Dean was quick to retort, "Technically it wasn't us, it was Balthazar Bobby…" I'm sure he said more but he said it too quietly for us to hear from the other room.

I could practically hear Sam's eyes rolling in response as the angel led me through the study's door. He placed the duffle bag on the ground and draped my bomber jacket over my shoulders to block out the cold that was coming through the gigantic hole in the wall. Sam and Dean were struggling with some supplies and tools so they missed out quiet entrance. Bobby was busy watching them and reading over some papers, so he didn't notice us either.

"Bobby seriously… Can't we just hire somebody to do this?" Dean continued to gripe. "Like Scott… Let's call Scott!"

After hearing his voice, our baby started to kick so hard that I doubled over in pain exclaiming, "Ow! Shit!"

Balthazar took me by the arm to the couch and quietly instructed, "Here Addy, you should sit down."

Dean spun around at stared at the two of us as the angel helped me to settle. "Lay?" He exclaimed quietly as he dropped the tools in his hands as he tentatively made his way to my side.

The angel took a couple of steps back to allow the three hunters to advance, but they became frozen to their spots once their eyes landed on my stomach. I had my head resting on the back of the couch with my eyes closed as I tried to breathe through the pain, so I had yet to take in their shocked reaction. Balthazar looked over the damage that Bobby's home had endured in the completion of his last spell then waved his hand and the study's wall was instantly repaired.

Dean hurried to my side finally and found a seat to my left. I instantly opened my eyes to look at him when he placed his hand over mine that were clinging to my stomach. He opened his mouth to speak, but I quickly placed two fingers on his lips pleading, "Shh… Let him settle first, please? 'Air Angel' seems to have gotten him going and if memory serves your voice most likely will too."

He started to rub circles on my stomach but thankfully remained silent. Sam and Bobby exchanged a few worried glances but didn't utter a sound. Soon enough the only noise in the room was the pitter patter of the rain that had just started falling against the newly repaired window along with our somewhat synchronized breathing.

The pain radiating from my midsection subsided so I was finally able to breath at a calmer pace. I opened my eyes, straightened up the best I could in my seat and was immediately confronted with three pairs of nearly terrified eyes.

I smiled brightly, gripped one of Dean's hands tightly and jovially said, "So guys, long time no see! What'd I miss?"

Bobby was the first to recover while the other two just stared at me in a stunned silence. He walked over, kissed my head and rubbed my belly then replied, "Obviously not as much as we've missed with you there Koala Bear."

Sam then pulled over a chair for himself along with another for Bobby and Dean remained perched at my left side. Our hands remained entwined together beside our hips while Dean's free hand appeared to be super glued to my stomach. Once we were all settled in an odd shaped circle, I took in a deep breath to prepare myself for recounting the tale I knew they all wanted and deserved to hear.

"Well I guess it's kind of obvious that Dean and I are expecting," I started with a soft chuckle. When none of the men joined in my laughter, I heaved a sigh and abandoned my sarcastic tone. "Raphael healed me because… Because he needs the two of us to have a second child… And no, you aren't seeing things… My best guess is that I'm about six or seven months along now."

"But how?" Sam questioned quietly. "I mean you disappeared less than a week ago."

"Well… Raphael did something with his… Her… Its grace to speed up the time line. Balthazar said that even though it caused the baby to grow more rapidly, it hasn't hurt the baby in any way… He's healthy… And before any of you ask… Yes, I know why… I know why Raphael is so desperate for us to have a second child…" I paused and bit my lip after I heard my voice start to break.

"It's okay Beautiful, just take your time," Bobby gently instructed as he passed me a glass of water.

"Thanks Bobby." I took a long drink and willed myself to keep calm. "Okay… So apparently you two (I squeezed Dean's hand and nodded towards Sam) are off the hook and don't have to fight in any apocalyptic battles… Michael and Lucifer have new vessels now."

I paused so we all could catch our breath and let what I just told them sink in.

"Who are the new vessels?" Sam asked in a beautifully innocent tone.

I was finding it hard to keep my emotions in check, so I just went back to chewing on my bottom lip while I tried to muster up the courage to reply. As I opened my mouth to speak, my words turned into a tearful shudder.

Dean's eyes remained focused on my face as he softly questioned, "Toby? It's Toby right?"

I stared off into the distance and nodded as I let my tears finally fall and replied, "The only reason that they rescued me from Hell was so that I would have another child." I turned my gaze back to Dean and continued as if we were the only ones in the room, "That's why he sent me to you so that we could have those marathon sex visits… We both thought that they were just a dream… But it was real Dean, every single one."

Dean's cheeks rouged at that comment and he stuttered, "It was all real? Us… Together? Here? In the Impala? In Ashland?"

I caressed his cheek, nodded and said, "Yeah… Apparently it took a bit longer than Raphael had originally thought it would." When I finished I picked up his left hand and kissed his fingers while we just stared into each other's eyes.

"Well we better work on finding a way to hide you two from Raphael and his cronies," Bobby commented as he patted my shoulder in an effort to have Dean and I shift our focus from one another.

I reluctantly looked away from Dean's eyes and caught the supportive smile on Sam's face. "What? Sorry… What did you say Bobby?"

He chuckled as he moved towards his desk and reiterated, "I should have everything we need so that we can make up a couple of hex bags or something for you and the baby."

As he started to pull books off the shelves, I finally registered everything Bobby had said and somewhat sheepishly reported, "Oh… Umm Bobby? You really don't have to worry about that… Uhh Balthazar took care of all that already… Apparently Castiel started a trend with the whole rib etching thing." As I explained the situation I waved my free hand over my chest.

Dean placed a hand on either side of my stomach and I could see the fear reappear in his eyes, so I added, "He did a little magic to hide our baby too." I smirked then attempted to joke saying, "I bet if we shined a black light on my belly that we would see something pretty cool."

Sam tried his best not to laugh, but when he took in a shallow breath, a sputtered laugh snuck out. Dean's head shot around to glare at Sam. Bobby just shook his head with the same exasperated look I had grown accustomed to seeing when he knew that I was intentionally deflecting attention away from myself.

"Thank you ever so much Sam. Geez, I know the jokes are kind of lame, but I'm growing a new life here guys… You really have got to cut a girl some slack."

Bobby groaned then replied, "And on that note… Did that bastard angel make sure to feed you Koala Bear?"

The topic of my abduction sobered me up and I meekly responded, "Yes sir, he did… It was mostly just boiled vegetables, tofu and vitamins, but it was food…"

Bobby snickered softly then asked, "Well why don't I make you a real meal to welcome you home then? Is the little one causing aversions to any foods at all?"

"No sir… None that I know of at least, but… Umm… With Toby and… And… With Toby… And Victoria I couldn't go near pork and beef was a bit touch and go most of the time."

With a reassuring squeeze on my shoulder, Bobby ensured, "Then I'll just stick to chicken and vegetables to be on the safe side." He then turned and almost barked at Dean, "And you can go, drive into town, buy and eat a cheeseburger there if that ain't to your liking son."

I chuckled out a 'Thank You' while Dean mumbled an injured, "But I didn't even say anything."

I leaned over as far as I could then pulled him forward by his shirt the rest of the way so that I could kiss his lips. "We still love you even though you were thinking it."

Dean shifted slightly on the couch so that I was seated more upright (and more comfortably). Then he kissed my cheek and neck saying, "Well that's encouraging to hear."

Sam quickly jumped out of his chair and rushed into the kitchen nearly shouting, "Hey Bobby! What can I do to help you?"

After sharing a few more soft kisses, Dean backed off when the baby started kicking wildly. He then leaned down and kissed my belly saying into it, "Sorry baby, I didn't mean to ignore you. Daddy loves you too."

Miraculously the act of Dean speaking to our unborn child actually calmed the kicking down instead of turning our child into a mini Rockette like it had in the past.

"So… You know? We're having a boy?" Dean asked once he too was settled in his spot beside me and started rubbing soft circles on my belly.

"No, I don't… Sorry… Umm… Balthazar knows but I asked him not to tell me… I guess the whole 'he' thing is just a habit now… I'm so sorry."

Dean combed his fingers through my hair, kissed the tip of my nose and rested his forehead against mine then said, "No apologies are needed. You're both here… That's all that matters to me."

After dinner Dean was quick to usher me upstairs to the room he had claimed as his own. He was being so loving and attentive that I didn't have the heart to tell him that I wasn't feeling the least bit tired because I had basically been sleeping the entire time I was away with Raphael. As soon as he closed the door to the room, it dawned on me that I would be able to have Dean all to myself within these four walls, so I didn't offer anything close to an objection.

Once we were settled as comfortably as we could be on the bed, Dean draped his left arm over my side. When I didn't move, he pulled himself so that his chest was pressed firmly against my back.

"Lay, sorry if this is a little uncomfortable, but I just missed you so damn much."

I laced the fingers of my right hand with his left and pulled him closer to me replying, "Nope, this isn't uncomfortable at all… This is just perfect Dean."

We laid at that oddish angle until Dean started to lose feeling in his arm. He shifted silently without me noticing until I started to feel a cool draft on my back.

I tried to roll over, but I couldn't manage that movement very easily as I softly called out, "Dean? Dean? Are you asleep?"

I felt the bed shaking before I could hear his laughter, then I felt his body heat close to my back again. Before uttering another word, Dean started to tug on my left shoulder and helped me so that I was able to lay on my back to face him.

"Okay, so you're not asleep. What's going on Dean? Oomph… Fuck… Shit… Fuck… Ow…"

"Shit, Lay are you okay? Sorry, is this a bad position for you to be in?"

I gently grabbed his left hand and started to trace circles on my stomach with both of our hands as I continued to curse under my breath. After I few deep breaths, I opened my eyes and shook my head.

"No, the position is just fine… I don't know if it's because he's been aged by an angel's grace or what, but this little one seems to react pretty animatedly to my feelings of uncertainty and anxiety."

Dean placed his ear over my heart and in a mock clinical tone stated, "Yep, your heart most definitely is racing. That must be the cause of him starting up again with the vigorous kicking."

I playfully slapped the back of his head countering, "Well maybe if the little one's Father was less of an ass and told his Mum what the hell was going on then she would have no reason to worry."

Dean sat back and threw me a self-satisfied grin innocently stating, "Is it MY fault that your suspicious nature has completely ruined the element of surprise I was banking on?"

I pushed myself off the bed into a half seated position so I could see him better excitedly saying, "Surprise? You have a surprise for me? No… We're calm! I swear! What is it? Please Dean? We're good…"

He pecked my lips and managed to somehow suppress his undeniable urge to laugh as he produced a small black box. I started to take it out of his grasp, but stopped suddenly and waited for him to continue.

"Lay… I found this and I just knew that you had to have it," he explained as he slowly opened the lid to the box.

When its contents were revealed, I gasped then tearfully asked, "Dean… No… You didn't? No… Did you…?"

He nodded gently and kissed my lips as I plucked a ring with the identical ivy motif as the one I had left for him in case of my death.

"I love you Lay and I don't need any type of ceremony or paperwork to pledge myself to you," he whispered into my ear as he pulled me into a tight embrace.

We should have known… You two were each marked as one half of the whole Raphael's angry and taunting voice ran out in the back of my mind.

I let him ease the ring onto my left ring finger as I hoarsely reciprocated, "I don't need any either Dean. I love you so much and I just want to be with you and only you. You know that right?"

He kissed me more deeply and once he knew that he had taken my breath away, he said, "I think that somewhere deep down inside, I've always known that… Now… Mamma Bear, you need to get your rest, alright?"

I relaxed back onto the pillow and pulled Dean with me so that we were face to face on our sides. "Thank you Dean. This is just too much… It's so beyond perfect."

Dean drifted off to sleep once I closed my eyes and pretended that I was going to try to fall asleep. As I watched him, I resisted the urge to pet his face, but I still ghosted my palm over his cheek a couple of times. Thankfully after a while, he rolled over to face the other wall which effectively eliminated all temptation to touch him. I managed to roll onto my back and started playing with the ring that Dean had just given me when suddenly a horrifying realization hit me.

Toby! I exclaimed in my mind. Shit! We should have called him by now!

I completely ignored the time and the fact that Toby should be in bed while I swiped Dean's phone out of his jacket pocket. Then I made my way downstairs as quietly as I possibly could so I wouldn't disturb anyone. After I snuck out the kitchen door, I quickly dialed Toby's number. On my way out I reasoned with myself that even if Toby didn't answer, I could at the very least leave him a message and then we could catch up on everything later in the day.

"Dad?" His groggy, sleep deprived voice replied. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's great Buddy," I replied softly. "But this isn't Dad."

"MUM!" He cut in excitedly. "Where are you? When did you get back? How did you get back? Did Raphael hurt you? Why did he take you? Is he going to come after you again?"

"Okay I think I caught all of those," I lovingly teased. "Here goes: Bobby's. Just a few hours ago. No. We'll talk about that later. Not if he doesn't want to royally piss Cas off."

I heard him huff and knew right away that he was annoyed with me for not answering the 'why' question at this point in time, so I tried my best to reassure him. "Buddy it's really late… I shouldn't have woken you up because it's a really long story. But I'll tell you all about it… Later. Okay? Please trust me."

"Okay Mum… I guess the only important part is that *yawn* you're back. You should *yawn* try to rest too. *yawn* I love you."

"I love you more than you know Buddy. Again I'm sorry I woke you, but we'll talk about it all later, okay?"

When he replied "Okay" it sounded like he had almost fall back asleep, so I laughed quietly and tucked Dean's phone away in my robe's pocket. I still wasn't feeling tired, so I found a seat, somewhat awkwardly, on a chair and just started staring up at the stars lost in my own thoughts.

"You can make him understand." A firm Reassuring voice stated almost flatly.

I was nervously twisting my new ring around my finger and quietly replied, "I'm not so sure Castiel. He can be a stubborn one, especially when he doesn't like the idea or when it's not his plan."

The angel gripped my shoulder and repeated a bit more forcefully (but still maintaining a comforting tone), "You can make him understand."

I placed my hand over his as I replied through the lump that was forming in my throat, "Thanks for the reassurance Cas."