Daryl felt like the wind had been knocked out of him as he heard Rick spit the accusatory words. "How could he think that I would do that to her?" he thought for a split second before he saw Rick begin to raise his fist. He was just about to do the same when Carol stepped in front of him. She was angry, one look at her face told him that. She stepped up to Rick, who had lowered his hand, and shot him a look that could kill.
"Are you serious? Did I really just hear you ask Daryl what he did to me? Are you insane? That man has saved all our asses more times than I can count, mine especially, and you think that he just suddenly decided that he was going to use me as a punching bag. I know that your mind hasn't been quite right since we lost Lori, but you're starting to get paranoid if you really think that Daryl could ever hurt me. He isn't Ed, or Merle, or Shane. He's your best friend. How could you think that about him?" she said, her voice cracking. She didn't back down. She studied him intently as he processed her words.
Rick was speechless. She was right. He looked up at Daryl, his friend. He looked angry, but underneath it he just looked hurt. He tried to say something to him, but he couldn't find the words. He looked back at Carol, who was still glaring at him, her arms wrapped tightly around her chest as if she was trying to hold herself together. "Carol…I….I didn't mean it. I jumped to conclusions. But what happened to you? Where did all those bruises come from?"
She softened a little bit, but quickly moved to divert the attention from herself. "It doesn't matter right now. We have more important things to worry about. Like the guy who did this." she said, pointing to the cut on her head. "We came across him out in the woods. He took a swing at me with a bat, thought I was a walker. Not a very good shot though. He said he lost his wife and his group to a herd. I think he's telling the truth. We brought him here, I thought maybe we could help him. God knows we could use another pair of hands. His name is Eric, we have him locked in the holding cell in the kitchen."
Rick didn't look angry or alarmed, his expression was strangely blank. He walked past them towards the kitchen, Michonne and Hershel right behind him, leaving Carol and Daryl alone to process what had just happened.
Carol turned around to face him, her heart breaking when she saw the darkness that had crept into his eyes. He tried to look away from her, but she reached up and placed her hand on his cheek, keeping his focus on her. "Daryl, you okay?"
He nodded, not really sure if it was true or not. After all this time, it was now clear to him what Rick really thought of him. He thought he was nothing more than some violent, redneck piece of shit. Maybe he was right. Maybe he wasn't any better than his old man. He may not have hit her, but he could see that among the random spots on her arms, were a clear set of fingerprints, left there when he had picked her up to toss her into the water at the pond. What was wrong with him? He hadn't thought about it at the time, he'd been so caught up in playing around with her that it hadn't even occurred to him that he might hurt her further. He thought back to the night before, the way he had slammed her into the wall, so greedy for her that he hadn't even bothered to get her into bed. He felt sick to his stomach.
Carol could see the storm of thoughts that were going through his head, the way he looked down at his hand prints on her arm and wouldn't meet her eyes again. He wasn't doing this, not now. "Daryl…Daryl." she said, quietly the first time before raising her voice the second. He snapped his gaze up to meet hers, and she grabbed the front of his shirt and crushed her lips to his. She waited for a second but he didn't respond, just stood there, tense, practically flinching away from her. She pulled back and looked at him. She knew damn well what he was thinking. He was acting like he was afraid to touch her. "Hey, don't do that. I know what you're thinking and you didn't hurt me. I've felt better in the last few days than I have in weeks. And you did that. Don't worry about the bruises, it's wasn't your fault. You could flick me these days and it would leave a mark. Daryl, will you please say something? Tell me that you know I'm right?"
He looked at her, her blue eyes gazing up at him with so much trust, so much love that it made his heart ache. But he couldn't do it, he couldn't tell her that he was okay with the fact that he had done that to her. He pulled himself away from her grasp, and turned his back to her. He couldn't handle this. He took a few steps towards the kitchen, muttering coldly over his shoulder. "I can't do this. I need to go see what we're doing with Eric."
She watched him walk away, never even stopping to look back and see if she was following him. She could feel the pain in her head begin to spread as she stumbled backwards, collapsing onto the step behind her. "What the hell did I do? I'm such an idiot." she thought as she dropped her head to her hands and began to cry. "Why didn't I just put my sweater back on? Why did Rick have to say that? Things were so good and I screwed it all up. It's going to take so long to get him to open back up to me and I don't have that kind of time left. Why did I let this happen? I should have just ended this when I had the chance, but I couldn't even kill myself right." Her mind was flooded with so many thoughts that she couldn't keep them straight. Her head was starting to pound and she struggled to stand, making her way up to her cell slowly and falling onto the bed. She didn't even bother to take her boots off before she curled herself into a ball and cried, hot tears streaming down her face as she lay there. She didn't move. She could feel herself getting numb as she lay there, her sobbing slowly fading away, leaving her with nothing but emptiness. She didn't care what happened to Eric, or to Rick. The only thought in her head was Daryl, the way he had spoken to her so coldly, the way he had flinched away from her touch. Things were never going to be the same. It had only just begun and it was already over. She wiped away the last of her tears, and finally just let the darkness take her, not fighting it as she let her exhaustion wash over her and drag her down into sleep.
Daryl entered the kitchen silently, making his way over to where Rick was unlocking the cell with a smile on his face. The rest of the group was scattered throughout the room, watching the scene as if they had no idea what was going on. Eric stood up, and cautiously stepped out of the cage, looking at Rick with a curious expression. Suddenly, a smile crept onto his lips and he pulled Rick in, hugging him tightly.
"Oh my god, Rick? Is it really you? We thought you were dead. You were still in the hospital when I managed to escape. How are you here?" he asked as he pulled away.
"It's a long story man, a very long story." he replied as he threw his arm over Eric's shoulder and turned to face the rest of the group, seeing that they were all watching him with confusion on their faces.
He smiled as he explained. "Everyone, this is Eric King. He's a good friend of mine from back home. He was the head doctor in the emergency room, took care of all the drunks and overdoses I had to haul in. He's a good man, you can trust him."
Daryl watched as the rest of the group slowly made their way over to the two men, quietly introducing themselves. He didn't approach, just stood back, quietly absorbing the new development. Finally, Rick looked at him, his happy expression clouded by the tension between them. Eric stepped towards him, extending his hand, which he reluctantly reached out and shook.
"Sorry we got off on the wrong foot. Daryl, right? I swear to you man, I really didn't mean to hurt her. I lost my glasses awhile back and when I saw her in front of me, I just swung. At least I didn't really hurt her, right?"
Daryl narrowed his eyes at the man. "You'd be dead right now if you had." he replied.
Rick looked around the room for a moment, and seeing that Carol wasn't there, he finally gathered the courage to speak to Daryl. "Hey man, where is she? Is she still mad at me? Are you? I'm really sorry brother, I didn't even think about it before it came out of my mouth. I seem to be doing a lot of that lately. I know you wouldn't hurt her, you love her, it's pretty damn obvious. Can you accept my apology?"
Daryl just nodded, he had much bigger problems right now than fighting with Rick. "Yeah man, whatever. Carol is in the cell block, she's probably just tired from me dragging her ass through the woods all day. I'm going out to relieve Glenn, if Carol comes looking for me, tell her I'm in the tower."
With that he was gone, stalking out into the yard. It was a full moon tonight and the yard was bathed in a soft glowing light. He took a deep breath of the cool night air before making his way up the stairs and into the tower. Glenn looked up from the comic book he was reading, surprised to see him enter.
"Hey man, I have watch for three more hours." he said, closing his book.
Daryl just shrugged. "Thought I'd take over. Rick knows the guy we brought back with us, says they were friends back before all this shit started. They're all in there talking, figured I'd let you go join them."
Glenn stuck his book under his chair and stood up, stretching as he grabbed his rifle. "It's pretty slow out here tonight, why didn't you bring Carol with you. Good place to be alone."
Daryl had so many thoughts running through his mind, but having a tryst with Carol in the guard tower wasn't one of them. He narrowed his eyes at the Asian man, as he leaned against the railing of the balcony. "Glenn, get out of here."
Glenn just smiled and backed up, stepping through the door that led to the stairs. He popped his head back in a second later, and looked at Daryl. "Listen, I know I like to tease you guys, but I'm really happy for you two. You have both seemed happier the last few days. I just wanted to tell you I'm happy you found each other. You need love in this world. It's the only thing we have left that's worth living for."
He didn't wait for a reply and was gone before Daryl even had a chance to thank him. Finally alone, he sat down on the chair and stared out into the clear night sky. His brain wouldn't shut up and for a man of few words, his mind had plenty. "What did I do? Why did I leave her there like that? I promised her I wasn't going to do that to her and here I am, sitting up here, too much of a pussy to handle some stupid comment. She didn't blame me, she wasn't mad at me. But nope, I get one good thing in my life and my fucked up past has to come along and kill it. I know I ain't like my old man, I ain't never hit a woman in my life. But I did hurt her, even if she doesn't see it that way. She's sick and I'm dragging her all over the place, fucking her up against a wall, throwing her around like she's a rag doll. What the fuck was I thinking. I should have never done this. I should have never told her I loved her. But it's too late, I can't take it back now. She was so happy today. We're finally getting to be what she always wanted and I go and fuck it all up. I need to make this right, I can't let it end like this. She ain't leaving this world thinking that I don't love her more than anything else in it."
He suddenly wished that he hadn't been so quick to take watch. He wanted to go find her and tell her he was sorry, that he was an asshole, that he would do whatever she wanted just so long as she forgave him. But it was going to have to wait until someone came to relieve him. He sat there anxiously for an hour or so. Glenn had been right, there was nothing going on, only two walkers along the fence. He found himself glancing at the prison, secretly hoping that Carol would come gliding through the doors, coming up to the tower and yelling at him before kissing him and forgiving him just like she always did. But she never came. Instead, he saw that Maggie had come running through the door instead, racing out into the yard as she yelled his name. Panic struck him and he ran out to meet her. She was panting for breath as she spoke.
"Daryl, there's something wrong with Carol. She's in her bed, awake, but she won't say a word to anyone. And she's covered in bruises. What's wrong with her?"
Daryl didn't stick around long enough to answer her question. He was racing towards the prison, not stopping until he came to her cell. Rick, Michonne and Glenn were standing outside her door, the worry apparent on their faces. Daryl tried to push his way into the room but Rick reached out and grabbed him, pulling him back.
"Hershel is in there with her right now, he said it looks like she might have a concussion. I sent Eric out to guard the tower with Carl and Beth. Daryl, please, I'm not accusing you of anything, but you know something that you aren't telling us. Where did those bruises come from? What's going on?"
Daryl watched as Maggie came from behind him and stood next to Glenn. Four pairs of eyes were now staring at him, waiting for an explanation. He needed to get in there, to get to her. And if breaking a promise to her was the only way to do that, then he would deal with the consequences later. Hershel stepped out of the cell and joined the rest of the group.
He took a deep breath and finally spoke. "Carol is sick. She has been for months and she's been keeping it from everyone. She only told me after she passed out in the yard. She has cancer."
He watched as disbelief came to the faces of his friends. Maggie started to cry and Glenn pulled her against his chest, blinking back tears of his own as he looked at Daryl. Hershel and Michonne were quiet, holding their emotions in, but Rick couldn't do that. He needed to know more.
"How can she even know that? She hasn't talked to Hershel about anything. She can't be right."
Daryl could see that Rick was slowly coming undone and in spite of the tension between them, he reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. "She had it before. Went into remission a few months before the outbreak. She knows how she felt then and if she says it's the same now, then it is. I've seen it. She has those bruises everywhere. She's tired and weak and she doesn't even eat anymore. She had a headache just this morning that scared the hell out of me. She ain't gonna get better."
Rick looked like someone had just hit him with a truck. He stumbled back and Michonne wrapped her arm around his waist, steadying him.
Daryl could see that everyone was wrecked by his confession, but he couldn't stay here anymore. He needed to get to Carol. He stepped away from the group and slipped into the dark cell. He could see her, lying on the bed in the fetal position, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. She looked so lifeless, so cold. Seeing her this way put more fear into his heart than coming face to face with a thousand walkers.
He carefully approached her, lowering himself down to kneel next to her bed. She didn't acknowledge him, she didn't even flinch when his hand came up to rest on her cheek. She just kept staring straight ahead, her eyes on his face but not seeing him. "Carol, please, you need to say something. Say anything, yell at me, call me an asshole for running out on you. Just please say something? Please Carol, I love you."
She didn't move. She just kept staring through him as if he wasn't there. When she finally opened her mouth to speak, it was a whisper so quiet that he wasn't sure she had even said anything at all. But he heard her and what she said caused his heart to shatter into a million pieces.
"It doesn't matter anymore. None of it. I just want to die in peace."
Thanks for reading. Working on the next chapter and hopefully, I'll be able to get it posted by tonight. Please review! Thanks!