Authors Note: I got a review that mentioned Mr. Coleman from Woodbury and how he died from cancer. I honestly had forgotten about him and would like to thank the person who reminded me, as well as everyone else who reviewed. I suppose that for the purpose of this story, that scene didn't happen. Just wanted to clear that up, just in case anyone was wondering if she really had cancer or not. With that out of the way. read on.
The seconds ticked by at an agonizingly slow pace. Over an hour had passed and Daryl was going insane, pacing back and forth in front of the door to the room where Carol was being examined. Rick had stopped telling him to calm down a while ago, knowing that he wouldn't be able to relax until he was back at her side. He had finally had enough waiting and was just about to reach for the door knob when it swung open before him. Eric stepped out, his expression unreadable as he pulled the door quietly shut behind him. Daryl could feel his heart rise up in his throat, anxiety coursing through his veins as he waited for Eric to say something.
"She's sleeping. Poor thing is exhausted. I checked her out as thoroughly as I could and I can tell you now, without a shadow of a doubt, that she does not have cancer. Even if I believed that it was a possibility, after all this time, it would have killed her. I asked her a lot of questions, about her illness before, about her symptoms now, when they first appeared, the severity, the frequency. She was reluctant to really tell me at first, but she opened up when I reminded her that you wanted her to." he said, shooting Daryl a cautious look when he said the last part. "I hope that was okay. I felt kind of sneaky saying it, but I had to get her talking."
Daryl nodded. "It's fine. Not many ways to get through to her right now. At least it worked. You gotta get to the point though. What's wrong with her?"
Eric nodded and continued his explanation. "For one thing, she is dangerously anemic and vitamin deficient. I could tell that just by looking at her, the color of her skin and all of those bruises. She told me that the bruises are what first made her believe that her cancer had returned. Everything else, all her other symptoms just stemmed from that belief, while further enforcing it. She told me that she stopped eating because she didn't want to waste food on herself when she was just going to die anyway. That caused her to become extremely malnourished, causing her weight loss, body aches, and combined with the anemia, her weakness. The only thing that I couldn't figure out was the headaches and the fever, it's not very common that those two things are combined like they are for her. I pressed her a little bit, asked her about her medical history, aside from her cancer, and when she told me this, it finally made sense. She told me that she used to get stress headaches, not bad ones, but migraines nonetheless. They were never much of a problem for her, she would just pop some Excedrin and they would go away. But, with all of the stress that she's been under, the death of her daughter, trying to survive in this world, keeping her illness a secret, worrying about dying, not to mention the physical stress that she's been putting her body through; Those headaches came back with a vengeance and in rare cases, when a migraine is severe enough, it can cause a moderately high fever. And as for her mental state, just imagine all of the thoughts running through her mind and top it all off with the fact that she now has a mild concussion. She is very sick and if these things had continued untreated for much longer, she could have been in real danger of permanent damage, or even death. It may take some time to bring her back from this, but it can be done. She needs rest, relaxation, iron and vitamin supplements, and most of all she needs to start eating again. But as long as she does these things, she will be just fine."
Daryl could feel Rick's arm reach out to steady him as he stumbled back, his mind completely occupied by everything he had just heard. He could feel the tears begin to well up behind his eyes and at this moment, he almost didn't care who saw him cry. She was going to be okay. She just needed to take better care of herself and all of this would go away. She would get better and she would come back to him, the strong, healthy, fiery woman that he had fallen in love with would return. He couldn't help himself as he reached out and pulled Eric in, hugging him briefly as he thanked him. "I can't… I don't know how to thank you. All I can say is I'm glad Carol didn't let me shoot you for hitting her. You just saved her life."
Eric was clearly uncomfortable with the praise and just smiled as he replied. "It's nothing. I meant what I said. I owed her a huge debt of gratitude. I'm just happy that I could help. For the record though, I'm pretty glad she didn't let you shoot me too. I can't imagine that an arrow to the head would be a real pleasant way to die." he said, jokingly.
Daryl laughed and finally turned to Rick. He could see that his eyes were full of tears as well and he reached out and pulled his friend in for a hug. "She's going to be okay man. She ain't gonna die."
Rick pulled back with a smile on his face, but the sound of a small squeak quickly pushed it away. All three men turned their heads towards the sound and found Carol, standing in the doorway, weak on her feet and with a look of confusion on her face. Daryl froze. He had been so elated to find out that she wasn't going to die, that he had forgotten that she didn't know that yet. He didn't really know how he was going to explain it to her with making her feel worse. He knew that she was going to start blaming herself for shit, it was just the way she was. He pushed the thoughts away as she spoke.
"Daryl, what's going on? I don't understand all this. Why did you have him check me out? Why are you crying? What aren't you telling me?" she asked, panic clearly visible in her eyes. She took a step towards him and stumbled a bit on her feet, causing him to reach out and grab her by the waist, holding her up.
Daryl guided her back to the bed, and she didn't fight him as he set her back under the blanket. She suddenly looked at him with fear in her eyes. "Daryl, please tell me what's going on? Is something else wrong with me? Am I worse than I thought I was?"
Daryl knew that he had to tell her. He could see how anxious she was getting and getting her stressed out wasn't going to help anything. He sat down next to her on the bed and pulled her hands into his own, trying to find the best way to tell her. He finally just decided to be direct. "Carol, you know that I love you and I wouldn't lie to you, right?" he asked, receiving a small nod from her. He took a deep breath before continuing. "Eric told us something tonight and I need for you to believe me when I tell you this. You don't have cancer. I can't really explain it, I'll have to let Eric tell you the details, but cancer doesn't exist anymore. Something about the walker outbreak cured it. I know that sounds like bullshit, but it's not. You are sick and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get you healthy again, but you ain't gonna die. You are gonna be here with us for a long time. Do you understand?"
She looked at him, eyes wide with disbelief and shock. She looked up at Rick and Eric, and they were both nodding, confirming that this was true. Her mind went into overdrive, questions and doubts and emotions flooding her thoughts. She could already feel herself shutting down. This was too much, too sudden.
Daryl could see just by the look in her face that she didn't understand what was happening. He reached up and placed his hand on her cheek. "Carol, don't do that. Not now. You gotta stay with me, okay?"
His voice snapped her back into reality, but she still didn't know what to say, what to ask. It took everything she had just to ask what she did. "How?"
Daryl was relieved to hear her speak, and he looked up at Eric. The doctor started to recount his whole story, the cancer patients, the CDC, the research his wife had done. Carol nodded along with the story, her eyes still mostly confused but containing a small spark of understanding. Eric continued, telling her what was truly wrong with her, making sure to word it so that it didn't sound like she was at fault for any of it. But Daryl could already see that she was going to blame herself. She was quiet, not like before, but she wasn't speaking, not even to ask any questions. Daryl squeezed her hand and she looked at him, giving him a weak smile. Eric finally explained what she needed to do to get better, and again she just nodded, too overwhelmed by everything to really say much more than thank you.
Rick stepped over to her and bent down to give her a tight hug. "It's all going to be fine Carol. I'm going to tell everyone what's going on and we'll go on a run. We'll bring you back everything you need to get better. Just stay here with Daryl and get some rest, okay? I'll get Beth to bring you both something to eat. I'm just so happy you're going to be okay."
She was caught up inside of her own mind, trapped in the whirlwind of everything she had just learned. She gazed at Rick, but there was nothing behind it. Daryl was worried that this was going to happen. He needed to get her talking before she blanked out on him again. Rick and Eric finally made their way from the room, leaving them alone on the bed.
Daryl watched her for a moment, he could see every single emotion that was going through her. "Hey, you okay?" he asked quietly.
She looked at him and he could see that her lip was beginning to quiver, her eyes becoming wet. This was a good sign, she wasn't shutting down, she was going to let it out. He waited for her tears to come, knowing that he would pull her close and hold her until they had stopped. But they never came. Instead she blinked them back, and suddenly her blank expression was replaced by one of anger. She pulled her hand from his and ran it through her hair. She looked like she was ready to explode. When she finally spoke, it was loud enough that it actually caused Daryl to jump.
"No Daryl, I'm not okay! I'm furious. What the hell is wrong with me? All of this, all this time I've spent thinking I was going to die, all the time I spent coming to terms with it. I never had cancer. I'll never have it again. But I let myself think the worst and ended up making myself sick for real. I scared the group, I scared you, I…" her voice trailed off as her anger faded away and was replaced by one of disgust. "I was going to kill myself. Twice. I was such a coward that I was going to end it all. And then you, I made you threaten to do the same thing."
She quickly slipped out of the bed, walking over to stand near the desk. He could see how tormented she was and he quickly moved to stand before her. He reached for her, but she jerked away, her body shaking. "Daryl, don't touch me, please. Not now. I don't deserve it. After everything I've put you through, I can't even stand to look at you. It hurts too much. Just go away, please? Just leave."
Her words held such venom, that he could feel his own emotions begin to bubble to the surface. He had tried to be calm, tried to be gentle, but it was clear to him that none of that was going to help her. She wasn't going to dismiss him like that. Not after everything that had happened between them. His own voice rose as he finally responded to her. "I'm not going anywhere, you understand me! You ain't pushing me away. You don't want to look at me, that's just fine. But you are gonna fucking listen! You got sick, and then you got scared and you went a little crazy. So fucking what? Take a look around you, the whole fucking world has gone insane. Rick sees dead people, Michonne talks to them, hell, I thought I saw Merle just last week out in the woods ripping apart a raccoon. We all lose it sometimes. No one would blame you for a second for what you did. I didn't blame you when I found you in that closet. I'm not blaming you now and you ain't gonna blame yourself either. You're so much stronger than this and you don't even know it. You ain't gonna die. You and me ain't done living yet, we ain't done fighting. Now snap the fuck out of this shit and get your skinny ass over here. You're stuck with me, and if you don't fucking mind, I'd like to hold my woman for a few minutes and just be happy that she isn't gonna leave me."
Carol was speechless. He hadn't yelled at her like that in so long, not since they had lost Sophia. But everything he had said, he was right. She knew that deep down. She finally looked at him and when she saw the way his chest was heaving, the love in his eyes, she couldn't hold herself back anymore. She reached for him and he roughly pulled her against his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around her as she did the same. They stood that way in silence for a long time, her head on his chest and his lips pressed against the top of her head. It was over, and the relief that they both felt was enough to make them weak.
Daryl could feel her grip on his waist loosening up and he finally pulled back from back from her, meeting her gaze and seeing just how exhausted she really looked. She had dark circles under her eyes and even now it seemed like she was struggling to stand. He had ignored it before, thinking that there was not much he could do to help. But now he knew better, and being the kind of man that he was, he wasn't about to stand here and take it. He quickly scooped her up and carried her back to the bed, setting her down in the middle of it and pulling the blanket back up over her. She opened her mouth to say something, but he spoke before she had the chance. "Don't say nothing. You are gonna stay in that spot as long as it takes for you to get better. Beth is bringing us food and you're gonna eat every bite of it, I'll make you eat mine too if I think you still look hungry. You are gonna take the medicine that they bring you and you are gonna sleep. You are gonna sleep as much as you can until I think that you've had enough. And then you're gonna sleep some more." he commanded with determination in his voice. He saw a small smile form on her lips and he couldn't help himself. He leaned down and kissed her with such a passion that actually made her whimper against his lips. He pulled back, with a satisfied smile on his face. Her eyes were locked on his and she was breathing heavily as he added. "And If you do everything I tell you to, you might get some more of that."
She smiled up at him, raising her hands in mock defeat. "I'm not arguing. I'll do whatever you think I need to do to get better. I was just going to thank you. For everything."
Daryl sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned back in, kissing her, more gently than before. When he broke away, he rested his forehead against hers. "Don't be thanking me for nothing. I told you before, you and me, we're a team. I love you. Best thing to come out of all this shit. I finally got the balls to tell you that."
She kissed him again as his words circled around her brain. "I love you too." She felt the pillow under her head as he guided her back and told her to close her eyes. She obeyed.
"Now go to sleep. I think we've done more than enough talking for one day. I'll wake you up when Beth gets here with your food, okay?" he said as he watched her shut her eyes. She nodded slightly and smiled.
"Yes, sir." she murmered as she drifted off. She was out like a light in less than a minute.
Daryl smiled at her little joke, watching her as she slept. She looked peaceful, happy even. She was thin and pale, but she was still beautiful. And she was his. They had been given another chance and he wasn't going to fuck it up. He could feel his own exhaustion start to pull him under and he struggled to keep his eyes open. He wasn't ready to sleep yet, he wanted to make this moment last just a little longer. The moment when he realized that he was going to spend the rest of his life with this woman, and if god was willing, that life would be a long one.
The mystery has been solved. I hope that I did this justice. I did a lot of research and with all of the problems she has, her symptoms truly could be mistaken for cancer. Please let me know what you think. Reviews keep me going. Update soon. only one or two more chapters left, I think. Thanks for reading! xoxoxo Bekah xoxoxo