The Snow is More Lonely Than Cold:

Sam checked over his shoulder and when he saw Toby and I sleeping soundly he smiled before moving his left hand towards the radio. Dean caught the motion of his brother's arm out of the corner of his eye, so he grabbed Sam's hand tightly and moved it away from the eject button.

"Dude! They're sleeping," Sam protested through a whisper.

Dean checked the rea rview mirror and smiled to himself smugly before replying, "Exactly, so let them sleep with their music."

Sam huffed then tried again, "Look I'm cool with mellow music and all, but seriously the same voice over and over? Come on man…"

"Yeah… Well… It's helping them to sleep, so just leave it alone," Dean cautioned before he started to mouth the words to the song that had just started playing.

Sam couldn't help but smile to himself at Dean's reaction to the music even though deep down he still really wanted to change their current driving soundtrack. I woke up briefly and heard them bickering quietly, but I didn't move much from my current position because I didn't want to tip them off that I was awake. While Sam was still trying to convince Dean to put in another cassette tape, I pulled Toby closer to myself and almost shuddered as I kissed his head so that I could drift back into a sound sleep.

Welcome to my Californian home You don't have to call me You can leave when you want There's a picture by my bed…

I woke up before Dean had slipped the Impala into park. He and Sam still seemed to be arguing about something (which was never a surprise when travelling with the Winchester brothers), but I remained completely focused on Toby. As Dean parked the car in my back yard, I tried to wake Toby as gently as possible by kissing his forehead as I shook his shoulders softly.

"Toby…? Buddy…? We're here," I whispered against his scalp as I continued to try to wake the young teen.

Once the vehicle was completely stationary, the speakers were silenced and Toby started to stir. As he sat up, I finally loosened my hold on his body.

"Are we…?" He started to ask with a groggy, sleepy voice.

I smiled to myself and let him finish waking up at his own pace but I couldn't help it and replied, "Yeah Buddy, we are."

After he had seemingly rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, Toby focused on something outside of the car and cheerfully shouted, "Mom! Dad! They're here!"

I opened my door and swallowed hard before answering quietly, "Yeah Toby, they sure are."

I didn't allow myself to look over at Dean or Sam as Toby ran around the Impala towards his parents. After extracting myself from the backseat and closing the door, I tried to shrink away from Dean and move towards the trunk of the car even more so when I heard Toby yell as he ran towards them, "Mom…! Dad…! I missed you guys so much!"

Maureen scooped Toby into a tight hug at the same time that Dean reached me and whispered, "Lay? What's going on?"

I shrugged and refrained from answering his question to instead take a step towards the Connors. Maureen released Toby then shared a smile with me before she attempted to take a step forward in my direction.

"Mom don't forget that you have to be gentle," Toby playfully warned. "Auntie Addy is still a little bit sore from her car accident."

Maureen smiled serenely at her son and stroked his cheek saying, "I remembered Sweetheart, but thank you for the reminder none the less."

She took another couple of tentative steps towards me, so I took the initiative and ran up to her and enthusiastically wrapped my arms around her saying, "I'm absolutely fine Maureen, Toby's just being overly cautious." Maureen gave me a skeptical look so I elaborated, "Maureen, really I'm fine… While I was in the hospital, Castiel paid me a… Uhh… 'Visit'..."

She narrowed her eyes then quietly asked, "Paid you a 'visit' at the hospital? Do you mean like when he 'visited' me in the hospital?"

I nodded emphatically, so Maureen threw herself at me nearly shouting, "Oh Darling that's wonderful! I don't know what we'd do without you!"

"How about we not find out anytime soon?" I replied just barely holding back my tears.

Toby chuckled softly as he retrieved my bag from the trunk of the Impala and didn't seem to notice that Dean and Sam were standing there watching all of us in stunned amazement.

"Thanks again for letting me help you guys," the teen commented as he passed the Winchester brothers. "It was a lot of fun working with you Uncle Dean and Uncle Sam… Even if Addy got hurt… But you guys are the best! I really do appreciate you letting me tag along."

I was now standing beside both Maureen and Bill after I had finished exchanging greetings with the eldest male of the Connor clan. We all watched Toby hug Sam and then Dean while we were sporting he same elated smiles on our faces. Dean and Sam looked like they were trying not to show their confusion and I seemed to be the only one that noticed.

"So…? Adelaide…?" Maureen started optimistically. "Will you and the boys be staying in town for a while?"

I shook my head then almost whispered, "No Ma'am, I… We have to get going to our next job… It's… Well, it's kind of time sensitive."

"Oh… Alright… But you WILL stay to visit with us soon, right?" She asked as tears formed in her speech.

Toby hugged me tight then said, "Of course she will Mom!" He smiled brightly at me then continued, "And don't forget to let me know if I can help with anything Addy because you know…"

"School's letting out soon, so you'd like to have a project for summer break," I finished as I ran my hand over his hair and then cupped his cheek. "You know I'll call any chance I get Buddy, but don't forget that you have to work on your stance too. It has to be strong and solid if want to hone your timing so that you can read a fast ball better."

As Toby blushed, Bill called out, "Not to worry, we have that covered Addy."

I pulled Toby into another hug then hoarsely whispered to him, "I love you so much Buddy, be safe. I promise I'll call and I'm always here for you."

Toby gave me a quizzical look as he cautiously stepped out of my embrace. "I love you too Addy… I guess we'll talk soon, right?"

"Right," I agreed before I quickly turned and made my way back to the Impala. I tried my best not to run during my hasty retreat, but I couldn't help myself.

The Winchesters said their usual good byes to the Connors then they joined me in their proper places in the car. I had been able to get the majority of my angsty tears out before that, so Dean just caught me drying my cheeks when he adjusted the rear view mirror to look at me.

"Lay…?"

"They deserve to have a happy life too," I replied confidently. "Plus it was your idea, so don't you dare get pissed off at me for borrowing it."

Dean glared at me, so I tried to match his intense gaze the best that I could until Sam cautiously said, "Uh… Guys? They ARE looking pretty happy… Umm… Maybe we should smile, wave and get into the details a little bit later… You know, before they get suspicious?"

I quickly turned my head to look out the window and was met with Toby's jovial looking face which broke my heart completely into tiny pieces. As I smiled and waved at him, I asserted through clenched teeth, "What's done is done, so there's NOTHING for us to get into later. Now let's go!"

Before either of them could properly react to my outburst, I had bundled up my jacket and had curled up into a ball on the bench seat with my back to them. Neither of them tried to press the matter in the car during the drive, but Dean did swiftly exchange Toby's mix tape for one of the cassettes that he had been forcing Sam to listen to prior to meeting his son.

I didn't actually sleep much, if at all, but I let them believe that I was sleeping soundly so that I wouldn't have to talk about what had happened in my back yard. Once we got back to Bobby's place, I didn't move at all and heard Sam tell Dean to let me rest. I stayed curled up on the seat and listened for them to go into the house and even after that I still waited a few more minutes to ensure that I wouldn't run into them. When I felt a new surge of tears hit me, I let them fall briefly then willed them away and forced those feelings to the back of my mind.

As I carefully closed the back door, trying my best not to make any noise, I heard Dean clear his throat loudly. I knew that he wasn't going to let me drop the subject I was avoiding easily, but I wasn't going to let him force me to talk about it easily either.

I turned my back to him and started to walk away until Dean grabbed my arm and yanked me back towards him.

"Lay… I'm not… Look, can't we at least talk about it so I have the details?"

I looked up at him then after a few deep breaths I explained, "After you asked Castiel to… And then after I convinced him not to… I got to thinking… Maybe you were right… Kind of…"

Dean nodded then led me to the backstairs. He remained quiet, so I continued, "I've never wanted him to feel pressured into following our footsteps… And then after what happened with Sydney, I noticed that he seemed to be a bit more… Umm… Withdrawn… So I just wanted him to have the choice that neither of us had at his age… I want him to be able to have a normal life if that's what he chooses without having to worry about what he thinks we want..."

I had tried to shift away from Dean, but he wouldn't let me. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into a hug as I spoke.

"Yeah, I get that," he commented quietly then kissed my head.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before, but I really just didn't get a chance you know?" I apologized against his chest.

"It's alright, but how…? I mean, what does he remember…? About me? Us?"

I sat back to look up at him as I replied, "He remembers everything except for who we really are… Maureen and Bill adopted him when he was a baby, but they have never met his birth mother, so I'm just Auntie Addy… Or Addy… Like I was when he first found out he was adopted."

"And that would make me Uncle Dean then, huh?"

"Yeah, you are… But he still thinks you're the coolest guy he's ever met… That you're a real-life superhero…" I answered while avoiding eye contact. "So… You really aren't angry?"

"No, I'm not. You did what you thought was best," Dean said as he leaned down to kiss me.

I pushed back off his chest as he finally relented to take a breath because I felt that I should try to further explain my rationale to him. But before I could speak, Sam interrupted us by calling out, "Hey guys? Bobby has something he needs to tell us."

Dean and I helped each other to our feet then we followed Sam into the house. The three of us then found Bobby as he was gathering up some books and other supplies together at his desk. We didn't have to announce our presence before Bobby started to speak and to explain what he wanted to tell us.

"Eleanor called… She said that she had something important that she wanted to tell us… In person," Bobby stated with his back still turned to us.

I turned to the brothers and mouthed, "Who's Eleanor?"

"Dr. Visyak… From San Francisco," Dean answered through a whisper.

"The dragon lady?" I exclaimed quietly.

They both chuckled then nodded. Bobby overheard their quiet laughter and whipped around angrily asking, "Is there something funny about Elle having information for us?"

We all stood up straight and very humbly replied, ""No… No Sir."

"Good to know. Now we'll leave at first light so that we can get some shut eye before we repack our supplies to hit the road," he stated plainly without sounding like he was actually giving orders.

All three of us nodded then answered, "Yes Sir."

Sam was the first to say a quick goodnight then he left the room to go upstairs. I took Dean by the hand as we said our goodnights to Bobby and then I turned to lead Dean out of the room.

"And by 'shut eye' I mean getting actual sleep you two," Bobby cautioned.

Dean and I exited the room without saying another word. I was kind of afraid that Bobby would come to check up on us, so I simply changed into an oversized t-shirt and crawled into bed. When I felt that Dean had joined me, I rolled over to cuddle into his side.

"Thank you for saving us Dean… I don't think I remembered to say that earlier," I whispered into his neck.

He squeezed me close then replied against my hair, "There's nowhere else I would have wanted to be. I just wish that we could have…"

I leaned up to kiss him then said, "You got there soon enough. Now sleep… It sounds like we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

Since I had actually slept quite a bit in the car during the day with Toby safely in my arms, I wasn't feeling overly tired. So after tossing and turning for a while, I decided to let Dean sleep and slipped out of the room after pulling on a pair of yoga pants along with an over-sized hoody. There was never a shortage of reading materials at Bobby's house, so I made myself comfortable behind his desk to read through some of the books he had left out about Purgatory in the hopes that that would help to tire me out a bit.

"I thought you were going to rest," a sleepy sounding voice commented behind me.

I straightened up from the fridge with a beer in one hand and a bowl of left over chili in the other. My response sprang up to the tip of my tongue immediately, but I managed to keep it to myself until I was seated so that I could say it in such a way that I could force my tone to sound light and amused.

"I did… In the car… Right now I'm just hungry." Bobby gave me a disapproving look as he retrieved a beer for himself and joined me at the table. "But what about you old man? Are you getting enough sleep lately?"

"I'm fine," the older hunter replied defensively.

When I realized that my joke had failed, I reached across the table and took his hand while more tenderly saying, "I know Bobby… You're amazing."

He looked up and we shared a soft smile which signaled our call for a truce. "So…? Eleanor…? She's…?"

"A friend," he answered abruptly without any force or malice.

I simply nodded then continued drinking my beer. After we were mostly done our drinks and my bowl was empty, I got up to get us a refill.

"Bobby? Can I ask you something? All jokes and quips aside?"

He looked up from attempting to open his second bottle to solemnly answer, "Of course you can Koala Bear. You know that you can ask me anything."

"How…?" I started shyly. "How'd you do it?"

Bobby placed his bottle to the side then stilled my fidgeting fingers to catch my attention as he asked, "How'd I do what Addy?"

I swallowed hard before I tried to explain without taking my eyes of my nail as it picked at my bottle's label, "You fought it… I mean you beat it…" I stole a quick glance at Bobby and he still didn't look like he understood what I was trying to ask, but for some reason I still found it hard to express myself verbally. "You kept it from… I mean… You didn't let it… It couldn't stab Dean while it was in your body…"

"Oh Addy…" He replied completely stunned. "Is this…? Does…? Are you worried about what happened with…?"

"Yes," I whispered tearfully before he could complete his question. "You were able to stop it… So… How'd you do it Bobby? I tried… So hard… Well, at least I thought that I did, but I… I couldn't stop him… I couldn't shut him up…"

Bobby moved to a chair on my side of the table and then took my shaking hands in his, but he thankfully didn't try to force me to look up from my lap into his sorrow-filled eyes.

"Addy you can't beat yourself up about that… I only had to wrestle with 'Henchmen Number Three' in Meg's gang, but you had… It was… He… He knows you and knows a lot about what makes you tick, so he knew what to look for to hurt you… That isn't your fault… Really it isn't…"

"But the things I said Bobby, they… They were so horrible," I explained while fighting a losing battle not to give into my tears.

When he squeezed my hand, I finally looked up into Bobby's compassion filled eyes. "But that wasn't YOU Koala Bear. Dean knows that and well… You've made sure that Toby won't remember any of it…"

"De-Dean... He-he told you?" I stammered as my bottom lip started to quiver.

"No, he waited for you outside, but Sam told me everything the best that he could. I'm not sure that I totally agree with what you've decided to do with your son because I think that that boy should know who his mother is because she's such an amazing woman…" He commented lovingly. "But I also know you and I trust your judgment and trust that you have your reasons for doing it."

"I do," I whispered. "I… I just…"

Bobby stopped me there by patting my hands and saying, "Shh… You don't have to explain… At least not right now, alright?"

"Thanks Bobby…" I stared at my hands in silence until Bobby started to stand up. "So that's it Bobby? You think that it was just because it was Sydney that I wasn't able to stop him?"

"Yes Addy I do think… I mean, I know that you couldn't defeat him only because it was Sydney. Be honest here, has there been anyone else in your life that has been able to do that to you?"

I shook my head sadly replying, "No… No, no one else has been able to make me feel that small… I think that's why Crowley fed me to him when my deal came due…"

"Addy… He…? You…?" Bobby held my cheeks with a pained look on his face even though I tried to look away and hide myself from him and then he simply said, "Koala Bear, I'm so sorry… I didn't know"

I quietly replied, "Me too."

We both returned to drinking our beers in silence while avoiding eye contact until Bobby asked, "Hey? Koala Bear…? Can I ask you something?"

I almost laughed at the timid tone Bobby used then answered, "I've never stopped you before, have I?"

"No, no you haven't… So…" He proceeded with caution trying not to upset me. "How…? How was Sy…? How was he able to possess you?"

I shook my head as I answered, "I honestly have no idea because I've had my tattoo for over twelve year now… I don't know… Maybe he's more powerful than most demons? Maybe because we're blood?"

"Or could… Could it have been damaged?" He questioned softly.

"I… I… I don't think so," I answered with a hard scowl on my face. "I've always tried to be really careful with it… I haven't even gone to get my legs waxed because I wasn't sure if that could wreck the pigment at all…"

We both looked down at the tabletop as if we would be able to see my feet through it then Bobby offered, "Couldn't hurt to check it, could it?"

With a shake of my head, I stood up and put my foot up on my seat. As I pulled up my pant leg, Bobby gasped softly followed by an astounded and sad sounding, "Addy…"

I kept my embarrassed eyes on my leg then turned it so that the scar of Raphael's hand print was facing away from Bobby's eye-line. Once my tattoo was visible, I leaned in to give it a closer inspection.

When I saw what I was looking for (but desperately hoping not to see), I let out a quiet, "Fuck me!"

Bobby leaned in to try to see what had me angry, and then he saw that one of Raphael's fingers had seared through my tattoo and blanched the ink through part of two of the rays causing him to apologetically say, "Oh God… Addy… I'm so sorry."

I quickly slipped my foot off the seat and pulled my pant leg down. "Yeah… Well, now we know," I stated very matter-of-factly as I tried to cover up for my own panic and chagrin. "When I get a chance I'll get that fixed."

Bobby grabbed my arm then stared at me with a look in his eyes that gave me the impression that he wanted to say something else, but he knew me well enough to know that I wasn't ready to get into the details of everything at this moment in time, so he didn't push me. He instead hugged me tight then held my face almost too tightly before kissing my forehead.

"I have something that will be of help to you until you are able to Koala Bear," he finally stated as he left the room.

I wiped away a tear then called out to him, trying my best to joke away the pain, "If it's a Sharpie, I've already got one Bobby!"

He came back into the kitchen with his signature disapproving, fatherly frown on his face as he held a necklace out to me. "Or you could just wear this and not have to worry as much til you get your tattoo fixed."

I took it from him with a sheepish grin, feeling slightly ungrateful at this moment in time.

"Thanks Bobby, you really are the best," I hoarsely whispered as I sat down and worked at untying the cord's knot. When I looked up briefly and saw the confused look on Bobby's face, I pulled out the medallion I was wearing as I explained, "Dean got it back from Toby for… Uhh… Me… A while ago… I can't… I don't want to take it off…"

Bobby nodded then quietly replied, "Of course not… They'll fit together nicely." He helped me to fasten the chain around my neck then gently added, "And you should try to get some sleep… We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

As I released my hair and let it cascade over my back, I got up, kissed his forehead and countered playfully, "So should you Bobby. We'll need you in top form."

"I will," he promised with a cheeky grin.

At the door to the hallway, I stopped and added, "I found something… About Purgatory. It's in the book that I left on the top of the pile. It might be important, but I'm not sure." Bobby nodded and whispered, "Thank You." I took a step out, but hesitated then turned back to him to ask, "We can stop him, right? We can get OUR Castiel back, can't we?"

"That's the plan Koala Bear." When he noticed that I didn't look convinced he added, "If anyone can, it would be us, right?"

Dean and Sam shared the driving duties so that we could reach our destination on time (or as soon as possible when it came to Dean driving). Bobby was stuck in the backseat with me, slightly cramped among the books that he was still taking notes from when he wasn't checking his phone for the time or any new messages from Eleanor. I tried more than once to help Bobby with his note taking and such, but on more than one occasion I dropped a book or smacked Sam in the back of the head with an elbow when I moved, so I stopped trying to help. The only thing that kept Bobby from getting overly upset at my clumsiness was that he had also been watching my demeanor during the drive. I had taken out my cell phone a few times to check my voicemails, emails or text messages, but all three inboxes were empty. I almost started typing a message more than once, but stopped myself when I felt tears spring up into my eyes.

Bobby squeezed my knee tightly, but when I looked over at him he was pointedly not looking at me and he just continued to read through the book that was in his lap. I breathed in a long gust of air and shoved my phone deep down into my pocket then tried my best to push those thoughts of Toby into the back of my mind as I returned to watching the scenery that was passing by my window.

Once we reached our destination, Bobby somehow convinced Dean to park a few (or more) blocks away from the actual meeting point he had set up with Dr. Visyak in the hopes of us keeping a low profile. As we walked down the sidewalk, Dean started to grumble, albeit softly to himself, so I grabbed his arm to pull him aside and away from the other two men.

"Dean…" I nearly hissed in his direction. "I don't… That's enough belly-aching… Can't you see that Bobby's really worried about Eleanor right now? So we have to walk a bit to get to her… So what? Get over it! Now!"

He looked over at Bobby then back at me before solemnly answering, "Yeah… Okay… Sorry."

We then jogged a few steps to catch up with Dean's brother and our oldest friend. Once we had easily fallen back into step with them, they turned down to walk down a dank, smelly alleyway that didn't appear to look any different from any other big city alley that I had seen before today.

Dean looked like he might have wanted to start to complain again, but I couldn't admonish him because my phone rang and the ring tone completely froze me in my place. Dean paused briefly at the sound then we shared a look before he nodded for me to take the call.

I almost turned around before answering the call, but I wanted to keep an eye on the three of them until I could catch up to them.

"Hey… B-Buddy…How's… How's it going?" I asked hesitantly.

"Hey Addy! Everything's okay. I'm really sorry to bug you right now, but I think I might have found something that you and the guys might want to know," he answered sounding unusually timid.

I assumed that he was just matching my tone, so I tried to sound more confident when I said, "Toby… Never apologize for calling if you have information that you've found for us."

Toby sighed and then explained more excitedly, "Well I've been able to finally find a bunch of stuff about Purgatory… It's going to take a while to weed through it all, but then I just tried to go off all of that stuff that you guys found out about H.P. Lovecraft and all… And… Well I found out that there definitely IS a way to open a portal to Purgatory."

"A portal? So it's like a door or something?"

"Yeah," he answered with a chuckle. "Just think of it like the Devil's Gate that got opened by the demon in Wyoming."

I resisted the urge to laugh and interrupted him with a mildly annoyed, "Yes, I get the picture… But thanks for the history lesson."

Toby still sounded quite cheeky when he said, "Well you sounded kind of confused, so I thought that I would try to clarify it for you."

"And that you did… So Mister Smarty Pants, any word about how one opens said portal? Or where it's opened and such?"

"No, sorry that's been really tough to find. All that I have so far is that there's a special incantation or something, but that's all that I could come up with… I'm sorry Addy," he answered sounding truly apologetic.

"And that's a lot Toby… Don't apologize Buddy… You did really great work and it all sounds like it fits with what Bobby was told," I replied trying to somewhat ease his mind. "But if you could keep digging around to see if you can get to the bottom of 'how' then we might be able to get a step ahead, you know?"

"Yeah, I'll see what I can do."

During our conversation, I had started pacing and then stopped with my back turned to the men. As I started my reply to Toby, I realized I couldn't see them so I turned around and then quietly exclaimed, "Oh shit!" when I saw Bobby on his knees with Sam and Dean standing behind him. Although I was quite a ways away from them I could tell that they were shifting their weight from foot to foot and watching him worriedly.

"What's wrong Addy?" Toby asked slightly panicked.

"I… I don't know Toby," I slightly stammered before I had fully collected my thoughts. "But don't worry about it right now, okay? You keep up the good work researching and I'll call you soon, okay?"

"Yeah… Okay…" He replied still sounding quite unsure.

"Really Toby everything will be fine," I asserted once again. "And I promise, once I know what this is all about I'll call you later and fill you in, alright? I love you so much Buddy… You mean the world to me."

When Toby heard my voice break, Toby replied with a confused sounding, "Yeah… Uhh… I love you too Addy… Umm… I'll keep working and see what I can find for you… I'll uhh… Talk to you soon."

"Oh… Toby… I…" I attempted to apologize, but I stopped when I hear the CLICK of Toby hanging up his phone.

I stared at my phone's screen until it turned black and then I finally pried my eyes away to look at the scene ahead of me. As much as I wanted to stand in my spot and over analyze every word that was said between Toby and I, but I had to help out with what was happening in front of me right now.

Dean was asking someone a question when I got to his side, so I stayed as quiet as I could. Although I couldn't help but gasp loudly when I saw Bobby kneeling over a woman with what could only be a nasty looking cut across her gut by the amount of blood we could see on her shirt.

She shook her head then replied with a pained voice, "Tomorrow… The moon… An eclipse… I'm sorry Bobby."

Bobby squeezed her hand that he was holding to interrupt, "No, it's okay… It's okay."

Eleanor shook her head then repeated, "I'm sorry, really sor…"

"Tell us where they are," Bobby cut in when he recognized that she didn't have much time left to fight about her apologizing.

She stared at him then we all saw her take her last breath and then the light faded from her eyes. Bobby gently forced her eye lids closed then the four of us shared a sad, sympathetic look.

I was just about to offer a few quiet words of condolence to Bobby when we heard, "I'm sorry this had to happen." Bobby stood up with us as well all turned around to face Castiel while he continued, "Crowley got carried away."

Bobby moved to step forward to try to punch or grab Castiel as he yelled, "Yeah, I bet it was all Crowley you son of a bitch!"

Dean pushed Bobby back as Sam stepped to his left to further barricade the older man while I watched the argument in horrified confusion.

"You don't even see it, do you?" Dean retorted angrily. "How totally off the rails you are?"

Castiel was quick to interrupt Dean's potential angry tirade saying, "Enough! I don't care what you think. I've tried to make you understand. You won't listen, so let me make it simple. PLEASE, go home and let me stop Raphael. I won't ask again."

"Well good," Dean answered with a slight hint of sarcasm. "'Cause I think you already know the answer."

The angel shook his head and almost looked sad as he said, "I wish it hadn't come to this. Well rest assured, when this is all over, I will save Sam… But only if you stand down."

I had slipped my hand into Dean's during his back and forth with Castiel and I squeezed it tightly as he asked skeptically, "Save Sam from what?"

By the time Dean had finished his question, Castiel had disappeared. I released his hand and before I could turn Dean around to ask him what I had missed, Castiel reappeared behind Sam. None of us had a chance to react before he placed his fingertips to Sam's temple.

I quickly grabbed Castiel's arm before he could disappear pleading, "Cas… There HAS to be another way… Please let us help you…"

The angel just shook his head and whispered, "No… There isn't…" before he disappeared again.

Sam's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he sounded like he was having some difficulties breathing. Dean ran to his brother's side and helped him as gently as he could to the ground. I fell to my knees at Sam's side and instinctively checked his pulse and his chest to make sure he was in fact breathing.

Dean abruptly pulled Sam up by his lapels nearly shouting, "Sammy? Sam? Sam! What did he do to you?"

As I sat up on my knees on the verge of bursting into frustrated tears, Bobby leaned down and quietly said into my ear, "We need to get out of here, but the Impala's…"

"Too far away to carry Sam to…" I distractedly replied as I watched Dean trying to wake his brother up. I quickly shook my head and nearly knocked Bobby over when I stood up saying, "Right… Why don't I…?" When Bobby smiled, I more sheepishly continued, "Which is what you were getting at… I'll be right back Bobby."

Dean remained completely focused on Sam up until the moment when he felt me slipped my hand into his pocket. After I liberated his keys, I kissed his cheek and quickly explained, "I'll be right back with the car."

He smiled, but before he could thank me, I was back on my feet and running full speed down the alley. Eleanor had thankfully picked a spot that was quiet and devoid of much traffic (both pedestrian and vehicular), so I could speed back to their location with little complication or interruption.

When I got back, Bobby was now kneeling beside Sam as well. He and Dean appeared to be still continuing their seemingly futile attempts to wake Sam. Bobby heard the familiar rumble of the Impala's engine first and then tapped Dean's arm to get the younger man's attention. Dean just nodded in response and then they both worked to lift Sam's heavy frame off the ground to drag him to the car.

I tried to help them but quickly noticed that I wasn't doing much, if anything, of use at all, so I ran to the back door to open it. They were almost at the car so I had to quickly assess the situation and decide what else I could try to do to help. Before they could instruct me to do otherwise, I slid into the backseat so that I could try to help Dean and Bobby as they eased Sam onto the bench seat.

Bobby inadvertently slammed the door closed as I repositioned Sam's head in my lap. As I petted his head, I whispered anything I could think of into Sam's ear in an attempt to comfort him even though I wasn't sure that he was able to hear me at all.

Dean went to step away to the front door, but Bobby gripped his forearm tightly asking, "Hey, are you alright to drive son?"

Dean nodded with a soft, sad smile answering, "Yeah, of course I am… I have to be, right?"