We Keep Running from These Sentences:

"What the hell are you?" Toby snarled while keeping the shot gun steady on his shoulder.

I forced myself not to reach out to him as I replied with an anguished tone, "Toby… Toblerone… It's me Buddy… Addy."

One corner of his upper lip curled slightly as he tightened his grip on his firearm, snidely replying, "Even IF you are, you know that there's no way in Hell that I can let you into this house without double checking first."

I nodded dumbly at the forceful tone he was using with more than professional ease. Normally I would have been proud of him for protecting himself and his family, but right now all I wanted to do was to just wrap my arms around him and have him tell me how much he missed and loved me. After weeks of feeling lost and alone, I wanted to feel safe and loved. Neither of us moved, but suddenly I thought of something that I thought could help speed this process along.

"Devil's Trap!" I inadvertently shouted with excitement at my revelation before more calmly explaining, "You drew a Devil's Trap under the mat here when Dean and I first moved in… If I'm possessed, I'll get stuck in place on it and then you can perform the exorcism that… Uhh… I taught you."

Toby's eyes narrowed as he gave my proposal some serious thought in an uncomfortable silence. He nodded slowly and then cautiously took a step back without attempting to lower the muzzle of the shot gun while ordering, "Fine… That could work… Alright, step onto the door mat… Slowly… Oh…You should know that I loaded these rounds myself with a special blend, so don't even think of trying anything."

"Oh-okay," I stammered with my hands held up in an undeniable gesture of submissive surrender. I stepped onto the 'Welcome' mat laying just on the other side of the doorway and stood in that spot for an excruciatingly long count of five before I side stepped onto the linoleum. "See?" I commented with sad conviction. "I'm not possessed."

"Well fine… You might not be a demon," Toby retorted with a not so quiet scoff. "But that's just the first test that you have to pass to prove yourself to me."

Somehow he managed to pull out a knife from somewhere without moving the gun from his shoulder. As I silently questioned where he had learned such a stealthy move, he further instructed me with a sneer, "Now let's see if you pass this one too."

I reached out to take the knife from him and noticed that his face softened ever so slightly when he saw my hand was gently shaking. I rolled my jacket's sleeve back hoping that Toby would see the scar by my elbow from the last time I done this to prove myself to him (completely forgetting that that was probably one of the memories that Castiel had white washed from his memory), but he didn't seem to notice or care at all. I had hoped to see some love and understanding in his eyes, but instead he had just hardened his features once again to remind me that he was the one that was controlling the direction of this interaction.

As I sliced the blade slowly over my scar, I once again felt conflicting emotions ranging from pride to chagrin and couldn't help but let a couple of tears fall. While I cut into my flesh, I monitored his reaction and hoped that he would trust that I was really me. When the wound oozed red blood without reacting to the etched silver blade, Toby's eyes sparkled with something gentle ever so briefly, but his features remained steadfastly hard.

After I was done, I wiped the blood off of the knife's blade onto my pant leg then moved to hand it back to him, but he just jutted his chin towards the island as a silent instruction for me to put it there. I carefully exchanged the silver blade for a tea towel on the counter top that I assumed Toby had placed there for me to wrap my wound. I made sure to keep all of my movements almost painfully slow because I was afraid that I might upset the teen and learn firsthand what his "special blend" of ammunition was. He watched my every move intently and when our eyes met, I could have sworn that I saw his lip quiver slightly.

"Okay… So you're not a shifter either," he stated mostly to himself. I nodded and swallowed hard while waiting for my next instructions as he took a few steps back and away from the island. Although he was still trying to maintain a stone-like exterior, Toby's voice broke slightly as he said, "Alright, just one last test." He put the shot gun down on the kitchen counter to which I quirked a questioning eyebrow in reply. "If you fail this one, then that thing is more than useless," he explained as he increased the distance between us.

When he was beside the doorway that led to the hallway and a direct escape route to the front door, he more timidly instructed, "The… The green box… Uhh-under the sink… Wash… Wash your hands with what's inside of it… Please?"

"Okay," I agreed softly. As I walked around the island, I made sure to keep it between us at all times. I tried to keep eye contact with him as I bent down to retrieve the box, but my heart ache caused me to divert my gaze every so often to keep myself from completely breaking down before I proved my identity to him.

After I had placed the cardboard box on the counter top, I gave Toby another questioning look but made no other movements to comply with his demands. Toby's facial expressions finally relaxed and the now had a pleading look in his eye that was beyond heart breaking, so I didn't say anything else and just picked up the box again.

The white powder flowed out of the small opening easily and I sighed loudly knowing that no matter what the outcome Toby was anticipating that I would most definitely end up with sore, raw skin on my hands. While I scrubbed the white powder, now turned paste, vigorously between my palms and over my fingers, I silently prayed that Maureen still had some of her sensitive skin lotion in her bathroom so that I could ease some of the pain from the chaffing that I predicted that the cleaner would cause.

"Addy?" Toby tearfully questioned as if it was the first time that he had seen me during this day. Before I had finished rinsing off my hands, Toby threw his arms around me, sobbing loudly as he exclaimed, "Addy! You're… You're… But… Dean… He… He said…"

I didn't bother drying my hands and just turned to wrap my arms around him. He had grown a few inches since the last time I had seen him, so he had to stoop slightly so that he could cry against my shoulder. I managed to hold back my own tears as I rubbed his back vigorously while an endless stream of apologies stumbled out of his mouth, but they were muffled somewhat against my shirt.

Once his breathing had calmed down, I squeezed him once more tightly in my arms whispering, "If anything ever came after me or your parents, I wouldn't want anyone but you to fight at my side." He pushed out of my embrace, but could only mouth a few of the words that he wanted to say. I held his face so that I could look him in the eye as I resolutely stated, "Hey, Toby you didn't do anything wrong… You did exactly what I've tried to teach you all these years Buddy, you don't need to be upset."

"But Addy… Th-the look in your eye… I… I thought that you were just a thing that was trying to mess with me," he tearfully reasoned.

I smiled warmly then replied, "And you stood your ground like a seasoned professional. Really Tobs that is exactly what they try to do to us… But you didn't fall for it… You did great Buddy… But Toby…? Could I maybe ask you something?"

"Anything!" He answered with more enthusiasm than any of his previous commentary.

I held up my hands to show him my dried out skin while asking, "So what's up with the Borax Buddy? Oh… And do you have any lotion handy that I can use?"

"Oh… Uhh… Well… When… The last time that I talked to Dean," he started before retrieving a bottle of lotion from a drawer behind him. "Hey was saying that that stuff actually hurts Leviathans… They… They don't seem to know so I figured that if it did start to like burn you or whatever it does then I could run and hide while you tried to get the burning to stop… You know… If you were one of them."

Without meaning to, I chuckled softly as I placed the bottle into its rightful place after putting some of its contents to use. He looked at me with a bit of embarrassed blush adding, "Well it seemed like a really good idea at the time."

"I'm sure that your plan would have worked out perfectly," I reassured him as I pulled him into another strong hug. He shivered slightly when I took in a deep breath and tried to do my best just to relax with him in my arms, but he made absolutely no moves to break or remove himself from my hold. "Hey Toby? Can I ask you something else?"

He squeezed me in his arms much like the same way that I had done to him his whole life as he replied softly, "What is it Addy?"

I pushed back on his hips then looked up at his face with a curious grin on my face. For the briefest of moments I almost felt like I was being held in Dean's arms and not comforting my son's worried mind with my loving touch. Somehow he had gone and grown up on me and these past few months had seemed to have matured him by years and decades, not the mere weeks that I had been lost to all of them and myself.

Petting his cheek to soften the muscles and worry lines on his face to try make him look like the teenage boy that I was more familiar with talking to, I asked, "You said that Dean told you about the Borax trick… I tried calling him, but the recording said that his number had been disconnected… How did you…? Or umm… How did he get a hold of you?"

Toby smiled somewhat smugly then turned to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of beer. He easily popped off the top and sat down at the kitchen table and nodded towards the other empty chairs as an invitation for me to take a seat with him. I watched him curiously as I sat down opposite him and then I eyed the open beer suspiciously. He smirked pushing it across the table into my open hand, but still didn't seem like he was going to offer me a verbal response.

"He and Sam had to change their phone numbers after those Leviathans stole their identities and stuff." After I sputtered in a breath and choked on my mouthful of beer, Toby laughed heartily then teased, "So you did see those news stories, right? Well… Please tell me that you didn't think that they had turned into complete sociopaths who were having fun on a countrywide killing spree did you? I mean we all really missed you, but that didn't cause any of us a total psychotic break or anything."

I bit my top lip trying desperately not to give into my undeniable urge to laugh, but I couldn't help but give in a little bit when he continued, "Oh that's right, you weren't yourself… Of course you would have believed that Leviathan propaganda… But I forgive you for that."

"Toby!" I tried to scold him through my laughter. "And I'm sure that you knew that Dean and Sam hadn't gone all Mickey and Mallory on us from the start then, eh?"

"Well…" He admitted more somberly. "At first I was kind of worried, but then I called him and GPSed his phone to see where they were at that time and… And it was nowhere near the murders, so I knew that something was up without Dean having to tell me."

I half stood to ruffle his hair before praising, "Damn kid, you are a freaking genius! I wouldn't have even thought of that!"

Toby always shied away from compliments and today was no different. He quickly stood up, checked the weight of my bottle and when he noticed that it wasn't empty, he stared uncomfortably at his feet for a moment. After a brief argument with himself, he turned completely away from the table to snatch up his cell phone from the kitchen counter.

As he stared at the screen of his phone, I saw him set his shoulders resolutely before he turned back around to face me. "I'm not sure where they are right now, but I could call Uncle Dean for you and… Or… I could give you his number… But… He might not… Uhh…"

"You calling him for me would be great Buddy," I commented with a sad smile when I noticed the gloomy shift in his facial features and posture. "But to be honest, I've been on the road for like three straight days and it feels like I've been away from all of you for like a lifetime… Could we maybe hold off calling Dean until tomorrow or something?"

Toby looked up at me in a stunned silence then asked with an anguished, disbelieving tone, "Really? You want to just hang out with me and not call Dean right away? Are…? Are you sure?"

I was on my feet and had him wrapped in my arms before he had finished his questions answering, "Of course I'm sure… Unless… Unless you wanted to get rid of me…"

Toby crushed me as he returned my embrace replying, "Never."

After cleaning up and dressing my wound properly, Toby made us both something to eat while we chatted about our time apart and what we both had be doing during that time. He caught me up about practically everything that had been going on with the Winchesters and Bobby, or at least to the best of his ability that is. He admitted that as much as he and Dean had continued to talk and check in with each other, he could sense that Dean wasn't telling him absolutely everything and Toby had his suspicions that it had something to do with Sam, but he wasn't completely sure. I was fairly confident that he was right, so I promised that if I could do anything to shed some light on that situation that I would as soon as possible to help ease his mind.

"Hey Addy?" Toby hesitantly questioned as we dried the last of our dishes to put them away. "Would you…? Umm… Are you feeling up to having a movie night…? Or are you too tired and want to go to bed right away?"

"No Buddy, definitely not too tired to hang out with you… What did you have in mind?"

As we walked into the den, Toby shyly answered, "Well… I just got the Pirates box set on Blu-Ray… Unless…"

"Johnny Depp in high definition sounds perfect," I quickly responded without showing my confusion at his hesitation.

During the second movie in the lineup, Toby had somewhat awkwardly curled up into my side under a blanket. I tried to cuddle with him but his new height made our usual TV watching position difficult to achieve comfortably. I jumped up to put in the third movie so that I could more easily manipulate how we repositioned ourselves on the couch for this viewing.

If we made it to the fourth movie, I never found out because I had gotten so comfortable with Toby that I fell into a deep sleep. He extracted himself from my arms with slow reluctance and stood over me to just watch me sleep for a time. Although he was beyond elated and relieved that their worst fears hadn't been realized, he was also simultaneously saddened because he knew that I was going to be leaving him to join up with the Winchesters soon.

His parents came home while Toby was cleaning up our dishes. When Maureen noticed that there were too many soiled bowls and glasses for him to have used on his own, she quickly said, "Tobias… I thought that we agreed that you weren't going to have any friends over tonight… You needed to study for your Spanish make-up test, remember?"

Toby's elated smile faded fast from his face when he saw the stern look his mother was now wearing. Before he put away the dishes he had just finished washing and drying, Toby swallowed hard then repentantly explained, "Yes Ma'am we had agreed on me doing that, but… But this visitor is… Umm… Well… I didn't think that you would be upset at my entertaining them and making them feel comfortable."

Both of his parents responded to his tale with a frustrated frown, so he sighed then nodded towards the den. He then silently led them to the open door and watched them to see what their reactions would be at seeing me safe at home with a large grin spreading across his face. They both stood in their places in a stunned and confused silence at seeing me sleeping on their couch with their mouths agape so Toby took them each by the hand and tugged his parents towards the living room.

Maureen was the first one to recover and she looked back towards the TV room while she questioned in a hushed, almost infuriated tone, "Tobias? Who or what is that sleeping on our couch? I… I thought that Dean said… What did you…?"

"Dean was wrong Mom," Toby jumped in, unable to be polite because of his excitement. "It's her Mom… I did all of the tests that Addy, Dean and Sam have taught me and she passed them all."

Bill was listening intently to both his wife and son then cautiously questioned, "Alright, say that that really is our Addy in the other room… Where has she been all of this time? Why didn't she contact us sooner?"

"Well it's kind of a long story Dad," Toby answered sounding slightly deflated.

"But the long and the short of it all is that I couldn't," I chimed in from the doorway. Bill and Maureen quickly turned around to face me while still looking like they didn't believe that I was really there. I lost some of my enthusiasm seeing their reaction and more shyly finished my statement saying, "And I couldn't because I was suffering from amnesia after a nasty blow to the head."

Maureen looked between Toby and myself seemingly looking for confirmation and he just nodded vigorously so she ran over to me to hug me tightly. "Adelaide! Sweetheart you have no idea how much we all missed you and how… How… How worried we were."

When I heard her sniffle quietly, my lighthearted resolve broke and I tearfully replied, "I think I might have a small inkling. I'm so sorry that I worried you all so much and I promise that I'll make it up to you."

Maureen released me from her hold then pet my cheek replying, "You being back is apology enough Sweetheart, but where have you been? What happened? How did you get amnesia?"

"Oh… Well like Toby said it is a pretty long story…" I started hesitantly.

Bill just continued to stare at me, beyond stunned but before I could offer them any other words of explanation Toby chimed in as the voice of reason. "And it is pretty late now… Plus you still look pretty tired Addy, why don't we talk about it all tomorrow?"

I laughed softly then hooked my arm around his neck so I could pull his face down to kiss his cheek replying, "Sounds like a plan. G'Night Toby."

As I turned away from him to extend the same wishes to his parents, Maureen pulled me into another strong hug then reluctantly released me almost asking, "We'll see you in the morning, right Adelaide?"

Tears brimmed her eyes so Bill wrapped a comforting arm around her waist as I answered, "Of course… That is unless…" Maureen's eyes went wide with worry before I finished, "You know unless I sleep in past noon or something which would mean that you'll see me in the afternoon and such."

Both Maureen and Bill shook their heads sighing out an exasperated "Adelaide" then Bill chuckled a little bit more jovially saying, "This most definitely is our Addy."

After spending the only sunny day that we had together outside playing catch with Toby and then spending part of the afternoon working on his timing at the plate, I was beyond shocked to see that I had a missed call on my cellphone. As far as I knew, everyone that was aware that I was in fact alive had been within yelling distance of myself or Toby all day, so at first I was just tempted to assume that it was just a wrong number or a telemarketer and was almost ready to write it off and ignore it. As I moved to put my phone back in its resting place beside my pillow, I saw that the mystery caller had actually left a voicemail for me, so without checking my caller ID I dialed into my inbox to listen to the message waiting for me.

"Hey Lay… So I got kind of a weird… Umm… Demand the other day and for some stupid reason I can't seem to get it off my mind. Anyways… I'm not sure how well you really got to know Ellen Harvelle, but I know that Bobby must have told you all about what happened in Carthage with Meg and how Ellen helped to save Sam and me… Well this crazy… Shit… Don't laugh okay…? This psychic guy… Fuck I can't believe that I'm actually doing this… Okay so he told me that she had a message for me and knowing how stubborn and hard headed she was I wouldn't put it past her to come back and kick my ass if I don't do this so here it goes… (He paused to take a deep breath before more continuing slightly rushed) I'm completely lost without you. Things between Sam and me aren't the best… Not that they ever have been and all, but I swear that it's just getting worse and beyond repair and I'm pretty sure he isn't being up front with me about what's happening in his head right now… Lay…? I need you… Here, now. I need you to tell me when I'm being too much of a jackass to be helpful to him… I need you to ease this pain in my heart that drives me so fucking crazy that the liquor doesn't seem to numb it away anymore. Fuck, I'd trade… I'd even just settle for you just making me one more sandwich so that my stomach will have something other than whiskey in it. I can't stop thinking about you, about how you… About how it's all my fault that you will never actually get a chance to hear this message… Fuck I love you and I miss you so much that sometimes I think that I've completely lost my mind. God the fact that I just poured my heart and soul out to your fucking voicemail must mean that I'm drinking too much… Or not enough… I don't even know anymore. Lay, I feel like I'm going to crash and burn and I feel like I'm all alone without you here… I… Oh shit… Sam's back, I've gotta go."

When the message came to an end, I replayed it at least two more times to make sure that I had actually heard what he had said properly. The mere fact that Dean had left me another voicemail when he thought that I was dead didn't really surprise me all that much because I had written him more letters and emails than I would ever admit to during the months following the due date of his deal that were never actually sent and therefore could never be delivered to him. (I had burned all of the letters shortly after I had completed writing each of them because I had worried that someone would find them and would use them to have me committed to the nearest mental health facility for carrying on a conversation with a man that I had not only willingly cut out of my life but a man that had been rotting in a grave when I wrote each of them.) The thing that caught me completely off guard was how open and honest Dean had been during his declarations. After Sam had sacrificed himself for all of us, I had tried on so many occasions that I had lost count to get Dean to talk to me, to just open up about how that was affecting him, but his response had always been the same: pour himself a fresh glass of whatever scotch or whiskey was cold and then he would spend hours away from me doing… Well I never found out exactly but I know a few times he was still trying to find a way to free Sam from Lucifer's cage. If this situation hadn't made me so sad that I was practically physically ill, I probably would have laughed at the lunacy of it all. At that moment I truly wished that I could find any humor in the fact that the only time that I could truly get my soul mate to be completely honest with me was by being 'dead' so that I wouldn't break down into tears right now.

After listening to the message a fourth time, I stared at the screen of my phone not really knowing how I should proceed from here. My thumb subconsciously hovered over the 'D' key on my cell's keyboard while I contemplated the consequences of my placing a phone call to Dean before he could confirm that I was actually me.

"Addy?" Toby called from the doorway of the guestroom where I was staying while with the Connors. "Mom asked me to come up and get you… Dinner's ready."

I lifted my head up slowly, but I didn't actually take my eyes off of the screen of my phone. I was irrationally afraid that if I did take my eyes off of the missed call notification from 'Darren Hayes' that it would disappear and turn out to just be a hallucination conjured up by my mind because I missed Dean so much.

Toby sat down beside me on the bed softly saying, "Addy? Are you okay?" When I didn't answer, he took both of my hands in his to turn my phone so that its display was turned towards him which would allow him to read it with ease. He had to press a couple of buttons to illuminate the screen once again so that he could see what had me so stunned and then he asked in his own quiet amazement, "Dean called you?" I nodded, staying completely mute and not really acknowledging that he had asked me a question which prompted him to politely question, "What did he have to say?"

I smiled almost sadly knowing that he wouldn't be happy when he realized that I wasn't telling him the whole truth and replied, "He told me that he missed me a lot." It wasn't a complete lie, but Toby's face still twisted into the unimpressed expression that I had predicted, so I stood up and took his hand in mine sweetly asking, "So do you think that you can help me figure out where he might be right now? I mean after we've eaten dinner and all?"

Despite my best efforts to sound neutral, my follow up questions came out sounding gut wrenchingly sad. As Toby followed me towards the stairs, he squeezed my hand and laughed softly to himself. "No need to search too hard, I already know where he's supposed to be." I stopped mid-step to stare at him, so he tugged my arm and once I was moving again he explained, "I thought that I had a really good lead for him and Uncle Sam, but when I called them, Uncle Dean told to me to pass the information onto Uncle Bobby… He uhh… He said that they were going to Las Vegas… I don't know why exactly but I think Dean said something about needing to blow off some steam… He… He told me that he and Sam used to do it all the time before… Umm… And with you… Err uhh… With the whole stolen identity situation he…"

"I remember hearing stories about their Vegas vacations," I offered in place of him continuing his awkward explanation. "So I guess that means that I'll be packing for some time off in Las Vegas… Huh… I wouldn't mind seeing that new Elvis Cirque show…"

Just before we entered the kitchen, Toby stopped me then sadly stated, "I really wish you didn't have to go because these last few days have been so much fun, but I remember what you've always said about the job, so no drama."

I hugged him as closely as I could to my body and replied, "They have been for me too Buddy and I promise that I'll make my visits much more frequent from here on out, okay?"

He smiled warmly responding, "I can't say that I don't like the sound of that."

As eager as I was to see Dean, it was hard for me to leave the Connors behind again. We had said our goodbyes hundreds of times in the past when I was heading off on a hunt, but with the events of the past few months so fresh in our memories, the permanency of my absence seemed more real now. I knew that there was no way that I could convince them or myself that the likelihood of this being my last hunt was slim, but I hoped that my promise to call and check in on a more frequent basis would help to appease them… Well more specifically to appease Toby since the look in his eyes as I turned to leave the house almost caused me to stay.

"I'm just gassing up a few hundred miles out of town right now Buddy," I cheerfully reported as I stepped out of the convenience store with my bag of water and snacks in hand.

"Oh, okay… Wow you must really want to see Dean pretty badly because you made amazing time getting there Addy," he teased to hide the uncertainty that wanted to creep into his voice.

After I dumped my sac of goodies onto the passenger's seat, I rested against the door and chuckled softly before answering, "The roads were actually clear… But more importantly, what aren't you telling me Toby?"

He didn't hesitate before he quickly said, "I'll just forward you the email because it pretty much says it all. I hope you don't mind, but I made reservations at a Holiday Inn for you in St. George, Utah."

"In Utah… But Tobs I'm heading to Las Vegas and I just passed by there a few hours ago," I replied as I walked towards the driver's side of my GTO.

"I know, but once you read the email it'll all make perfect sense… Trust me. I'll talk to you later, okay?" He didn't wait for my response before he disconnected the line. By the time I got behind the wheel, the email Toby had said he was going to forward to me had reached my phone. I hated reading on the small screen of my Blackberry, but Toby's elusiveness had piqued my interest so much that I didn't want to waste any time pulling out my laptop from the trunk.

I knew that I must have gasped out loud when I saw that the email had originally come from ''tommymcnamara67 at hotmail dot com" even if I was too stunned to hear it. I had set up that email for Dean back when I was in high school (and the name was based off a character of an actor from my 'favorite' city in Australia) so that if we ever wanted to have a 'private' conversation without our noisy parents seeing it, we could more easily. He of course never used it, or so I had thought, and I could only assume that he was using it now because no one other than me knew that it existed so it couldn't have been something that the Leviathans could have learned from Castiel's memories while they possessed him. I wasn't quite sure how it had made it through Toby's spam filter, but that was the least important concern on my list of priorities right now.

I stared at the email name a little while longer then I finally read the contents of the actual message.

"HEY BUDDY, I'M GOING TO BE STUCK DRIVING ACROSS THE COUNTRY SO I NEED YOU TO DO A HUGE FAVOR FOR ME… I NEED YOU TO DO A LITTLE BACKGROUND CHECK ON YOUR NEW AUNT. THAT'S RIGHT, 'AUNT'. BUT DON'T WORRY, I HAVEN'T GONE COMPLETELY INSANE AND DIDN'T DO ANYTHING STUPID IN LAS VEGAS… YOUR UNCLE SAM HAS, BUT WE'LL GET INTO ALL OF THAT LATER.
HERE'S THE IMPORTANT PART: HER NAME'S BECKY ROSEN, BUT HER FULL NAME IS…"

He went onto list the rest of her personal information in the email. I stared at the small black font thinking, Sam? Married? What the fuck did I miss while I was stuck in 'Monsterland'?

While I drove to the motel that Toby had reserved for me, he went on to send me all of the information that he had dug up for on his new 'Aunt' for Dean when he forwarded it to Dean's email. I noted that he had put my email address into the 'Blind Copy' field and I couldn't help but wonder how I was finally going to tell Dean that I was alive. I finally had my full memory back, but now I was almost so worried about the 'where' and 'when' I should make my revelations that I was just about ready to back out and just drive back to Iowa. I felt my pulse start to quicken with nervous anticipation, so I vigorously shook my head to clear my doubtful thoughts away.

"One thing at a time Addy," I told myself out loud. "One thing at a time."

My drive to Delaware took me longer than I would have liked, but the route that Toby had told me would be the best had been riddled with construction and car accidents that couldn't be avoided. I tried taking an alternate route, but it truly was more convoluted than the one Toby suggested so I returned to the headache that was my originally planned course to Sam's apparent new home. Once I finally made it to my destination, I was so tired and frustrated that I stopped for a drink and some food to calm down and recharge. If seeing Dean for the first time in months was on my 'To Do' list today, I wanted to be relaxed, not bitchy and sullen like I was feeling from having such a crappy commute.

The bartender, whose name tag honestly read 'Rex', looked up from refilling a shelf with glasses and gave me an inviting smile when I sat down on a stool at the bar. I stole another lingering glance over my shoulder at an employee who was on his hands and knees vigorously scrubbing at a dark spot on the floor.

When I turned back to Rex, he jutted his chin to the man behind me saying, "That's the last time I'll let a high school reunion rent out this place… We're still trying to clean up the graffiti they left behind."

"I'm pretty sure that burns don't come out of carpeting," I replied somewhat flippantly before tossing a few peanuts into my mouth. He just stared at me like I had grown a second head so I added, "Seriously, you're either going to have to replace it or you could change the theme of the place so that you could incorporate that symbol into your décor."

He snickered a little bit to himself then jokingly replied, "Well my niece can't seem to shut up about that series with the emo looking vampire."

"See? There you go, you can jump right on that bandwagon then," I said with a tired smile. "Although I personally prefer the classics where vampires were afraid of the sun and didn't sparkle in it."

Rex laughed heartily then agreed saying, "Amen to that. So, what can I get for a lady with such great taste and advice?"

"What beer do you have in a bottle?"

I started reading over the menu as he easily offered me a list by memory, "Coors Light, Corona, El Sol, Dos Equis, Budweiser…"

"Wait! Sorry… Go back… What was the third one?" I asked as I finally looked up from the menu and made solid eye contact with him.

He held up an unopened bottle almost question his reply with an uncertain, "Uh… El Sol?" When he saw the undeniable smile on my face he popped the top off, passed the bottle to me with a chilled glass and then said, "I'll give you a minute with the menu while you enjoy some of your beer."

I almost blurted out, "Actually I'll take a bacon cheeseburger, extra onions" but he had already walked away to retrieve some more supplies from the back room, so I kept that answer to myself and followed his advice. I slowly poured the bottle's contents into the glass then stared at the label on the bottle. My memories of Dean came flooding back so vividly that I could have sworn that I could practically smell his aftershave wafting in from behind me.

"What's a pretty lady like you doing drinking at a bar alone?" A male's voice questioned uncomfortably close to my ear. I think he was trying to sound seductive, but he didn't seem to really be pulling it off.

I swallowed some of my rage, but before I could turn to tell him off, he leaned back and something on his shirt or jacket got caught in my hair. He didn't seem to notice because as he moved to stand up straight, my head followed his movement with a painful jerk.

My hand flew to the back of my head as he clumsily grabbed my hair, squeaking out an apology. "Oh gosh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean… Oh darn, how did it…? Oh gee…"

As he continued to ramble, he actually managed to free me from our painful connection, so I could turn around to face him and yell at him about his stupidity. When his face registered in my brain, I nearly shrieked instead of just shouting, "Garth? What the fuck? Were you trying to…? To…? Hit on me?"

"Addy?" His face completely blanched as he stumbled back a few steps and nearly fell over. "No… But you… You're… You can't…"

I opened my mouth to utter a snide remark, but was silenced by a flaskful of Holy Water being thrown in my face. His eyes widen and looked like they could nearly pop out of his head as I huffed out a couple of angry breaths. Before attempting to yell at him again, I snatched a couple of napkins off the bar and tried to dry my face a bit. Rex had been watching our exchange from afar and was still laughing as he offered me a clean towel that I took with a brief, grateful smile before he returned to checking the stock behind the bar.

When I turned back around to face the man behind me, I instantly noticed that the color had yet to return to Garth's face and he was shaking like a leaf. Seeing that this wanna-be hunter still hadn't seemed to have really harden any since the last time that I has seen him, I decided to take another deep breath to further calm myself before saying anything else to him.

"Garth, I'm not possessed… Okay… Before you pass out, have you started carrying a silver knife like I told you you should?" He somehow managed to nod so I put my hand out trying my hardest to politely say, "Why don't you pass it to me so that I can prove to you that I'm not a shifter?"

His hand was shaking as he passed his knife over and I started to feel a little guilty about how harshly I had treated him. For I while I had wondered how he had managed to make it this far without dying, but now I realized that he had the 'wounded puppy' routine perfected beyond anything that Dean had accused Sam of using which made most of us feel guilty for not helping him out whenever we could. I wish that I could say that I had outgrown treating him like something fragile, like something that needed my protection, but you know what they say… Old habits die hard.

I quickly sliced the pad of my left index finger then used my best serene, motherly tone saying, "See? Just red blood… And the need of a good Band-Aid."

"But… How…? How are you here?" He stammered as slipped his knife back into his pocket.

I frowned as I sucked my fingertip while he stepped forward and explained in a hushed tone, "Because I sort of… Accidentally… Overheard someone offering Dean their condolences because you were…" His eyes shot up to the bartender's back so he mouthed the word 'dead' to finish his statement.

"Hey… This guy bugging you?" Rex asked with a chuckle as he passed me a Band-Aid from a First Aid kit that was behind the bar when he noticed that I was bleeding. Thankfully he hadn't been paying close attention to us, so he hadn't heard our exchange and really didn't seem to know how I had injured myself.

I shook my head with my finger in my mouth then extracted it to bandage it as I replied, "No, it's fine. We just had a misunderstanding between friends is all. Why don't you grab him a beer on me?"

The bartender just nodded and filled my order then left us alone once again. I picked up my glass and beer bottle nodding towards a table away from the bar. I knew that I needed to find out more about what he had overheard while he was with Dean, but I didn't really want my interrogation to be publically consumed just yet.

Once he was settled and looked less likely to pass out I stared him down then sternly asked, "How were you able to overhear that Garth?"

He smiled and instantly looked younger than he was replying, "Oh I didn't mean to at all… But you know how accidents happen when you're working a job with someone."

I choked on my mouthful of beer and Garth jumped to his feet to pat me on the back then rubbed it comfortingly until I was breathing more normally. "You…? You were…? You…? You worked a job…? With…? With Dean?"

"Yep," he answered as he took an almost dainty sip from his beer bottle. He turned his eyes towards the charred remains of the Devil's Trap on the floor and smiled brightly saying, "We stopped a demon that was making deals here in town."

Luckily I wasn't drinking during this reply, but I still temporarily lost my ability to breathe all the same. I stared at him, completely at a loss for words while he continued to drink his beer slowly. Once I had finally caught up with my racing mind I asked, "Wait… You…? You guys stopped a demon…? Together? Okay… Okay… Then where's Dean right now?"

He shrugged then nonchalantly replied, "He left town with Sam… I guess they were heading out to another job."

"Oh… Alright… Well then why are you still here?" I asked while completely forgetting to ask the whereabouts of Sam's spouse in this scenario.

He didn't answer me but looked beyond me to someone that had just come through the doorway instead. Both of our eyes followed the petite, shy-looking blonde's path towards a bar stool once I realized he wasn't going to talk just yet. It was almost as if she could feel our eyes on her because she slowly turned her head to look at us (in a way I think she thought was a discreet manner) over her shoulder.

Garth had completely perked up at the sight of her and I couldn't help but smile when I realized that I had my answer. Her demeanor brightened as well when her eyes landed on the skinny man sitting across from me and she immediately diverted her previous course towards the bar for one to our table.

"Garth! I thought that you left town when Sam and Dean left," she exclaimed cheerfully before she had actually reached our table.

I nearly stood up to give them some privacy until he replied, "Well Becky, I almost did… But then I wanted to double check everything was okay with you after they decided to skip town."

My head whipped around to stare at her as I questioned through my new confusion, "Becky? As in Becky Rosen?"

Her narrowed slightly as she studied my face as if she was trying to figure out how she should know me. When she couldn't put a name to my face she skeptically replied, "Maybe… Well it depends… Who are you?"

"Oh! Right you two haven't met yet," Garth answered without noticing the tension that was mounting between me and Becky. "Becky this is Addy…"

He didn't get a chance to finish his introduction because Becky's eyes went comically wide with recognition as he excitedly shrieked, "Addy! Like THE Addy Jones?"

She then leapt forward and hugged me enthusiastically. I patted her back a couple of times replying with a meek sounding, "Well it's usually just 'Addy Jones' without a 'the' in for of it, but yeah… I guess that's me."

After she released me, Becky was still smiling brightly as she hurriedly explained, "Oh right… Sorry… It's just that I've read all about you in Chuck's books. You know… About how it was you that Dean dreamt about settling down with and starting a family in 'Dream a Little Dream' and how you tried to get Dean out of his deal but got hurt so badly that you just barely made it to Bobby's place and you never told Dean about it because you had cut him out of your life completely… Even though no one really knows why you would do that because you both seemed pretty hung up on each other even after you broke things off with him… BUT you DID try to warn him that one time with Gordon Walker… And…"

I gripped her arm tightly and then gave her a gentle shake like I had with Toby whenever he started to speak so quickly that none of us could get a word in edgewise. I was unconsciously beaming by the time that she started to trail off then I chuckled as I said, "Yeah… That all does sound like me… And since you seem to know so much about us, I assume that mean I was right and that makes you my new sister-in-law?"

Her eyes somehow managed to widen even further as she replied, "You and Dean got married?"

"Oh no… Not… Not really," I mumbled as I gently pulled my left hand out of her grasp before I twisted my wedding band out of nervous habit. "We haven't made it as official as you and Sam have or anything."

"Oh…" She .blushed and shied away while holding her left hand unconsciously. "Well it isn't so official or anything now."

I could see that there was no ring on her left ring finger before I looked over at Garth who had a sad, sympathetic look on his face. His eyes were trained only on the woman in front of me and when I looked back at her, I saw that she was still blushing while looking towards Garth out of the corner of her eye. I wasn't sure what was happening between the two of them, but I was more than ready to hazard a guess and was confident that I was right.

"Hey Becky? Would you mind giving Garth and I a moment alone? Uhh… Order whatever you want and tell Rex to put it on my tab, okay?" She scowled then turned her attention towards Garth. He nodded then she whispered an 'Okay' and retreated to the bar. Once I was sure that she was out of earshot, I turned to Garth and in a low incensed tone said, "Garth, tell me that you are not thinking of hooking up with the chick that somehow tricked Sam into marrying her." He squirmed uncomfortably, but I could tell that it was necessarily solely from my admonishing him. My eyes narrowed as my voice got dangerously lower as I asked, "What did she do Garth? Was it a spell? Did she…?"

"It was a potion," he replied without making eye contact. "The demon that was making deals here in town gave her a potion…"

I stared at him then shook my head saying, "A love potion? And you…? Garth! Seriously?" I stole at Becky over my shoulder. She was chatting with the bartender and wasn't paying any attention to Garth and me which help me to calm down a minute amount. I took in a deep breath and exhaled it slowly before turning back to the hunter. "Alright… Fine… Whatever… But… Garth if you like her enough to stay in town then why in the hell were you trying to pick me up?"

He shrugged then answered, "I wanted to practice on someone before she got here. Plus…" He finally turned his eyes up but didn't quite meet mine and he still didn't sound any more confident as he said, "Plus someone once told me that girls seem to be irrationally attracted to unavailable guys."

I blushed and couldn't help but laugh softly. "Right… And I swear that that was really good advice back then… And is still true… Garth… Since you trusted me then, please trust me now. She basically drugged Sam to marry him… Come on man, you know those aren't the actions of a sane woman. Seriously, you deserve better than that Garth… And… Well… Okay, even if you're convinced that she's the one for you, she's on the rebound right now. She isn't ready to treat you like you deserve to be treated."

He finally made eye contact with me and smiled shyly. "Really? You really think that Addy?"

"Yes Garth, it is," I replied truthfully. He looked from me to Becky so I gently gripped his hand across the table and softly instructed. "My unsolicited advice? Go call Bobby or someone else; find a hunt or two… Or twenty… If you still think that she's the one for you, come back here after that. If it's meant to be then she'll still be here waiting for you. And don't be worries… You go now and I'll smooth everything over with her for you, alright?"

He gave it a brief moment of contemplation then nodded as he stood up, but he still had a look of uncertainty clouding his face. I stood up as well and took in a slow, deep breath before I walked over to his side of the table. I pulled him into what I hoped was a comforting hug and he pressed my torso even closer to him as he issued a relieved sigh.

After we let each other go, he quietly said, "For what it's worth Addy, he really misses you… Not that he told me that or anything, but I could tell and I'm sorry… I really wish I knew where he was heading to with Sam so that you could meet up with him."

"Thanks Garth, but you don't need to worry about that, I have someone back home that'll help me out with that." He started to turn but hesitated until I added, "Hey, good luck to you. Stay safe out there."

He smiled then replied, "You too Addy."

I watched him to make sure that he actually did leave before attempting to take on my next challenge. Becky was still chatting with Rex as I started to approach her spot and I stood still for a moment to watch them. Suddenly I wasn't sure what I really wanted to say to the woman that had been so obsessed with Sam that she would turn to using black magic to get her way. For that I just wanted to scream at her about her stupidity and about how dangerous it was to just dabble into magic when you didn't really know what you were doing. But the longer I watched her, the more my anger started to melt away. She looked so obliviously innocent that I had a feeling that my yelling at her would yield the same results as it had with Toby or Garth; I would have strained vocal chords and she would be so scared of me that she wouldn't be able to hear anything that I was saying let alone register the seriousness of my words.

As I moved to the stool at her right side, Rex smiled then started to retreat from the bar instinctively sensing that this wasn't a conversation that required an audience. Before he could get away too far, I quickly asked, "Hey Rex? Any chance you could scare us up an order of wings and fries to go with our drinks?"

"Coming right up," he replied with a smile and a wink.

Becky continued drinking her brightly colored cocktail while I placed my order and settled myself onto the stool. I took a large gulp of beer to prepare myself before speaking and was surprised that I felt like I actually knew what I wanted to say to her.

As I turned to speak, I thought that I overheard Becky saying something, but it was so quiet that it was practically inaudible. She then faced me, wiped a tear away and repeated, "How did you do it Addy? How did you make Dean fall in love with you?"

I passed her a napkin from the pile that Rex had placed on the bar with my order then replied almost sadly, "Oh Beck, please don't… Don't compare yourself to me… Really this thing between Dean and I… It's a hell of a lot more complicated than it looks."

"But he loves you and you love him," she stated without hiding her confusion at my lack of enthusiasm. "Doesn't that mean that you two are meant for each other or something?"

I dipped a fry in ketchup and chuckled at how accurate she was without even being aware of it. "Yeah… More than you know… But Becky? Just because you love someone and they return those feelings… It… It doesn't mean that everything is going to be easy and you are going to live happily ever after. I swear, sometimes it feels like it sometimes makes things even harder."

She gave me a knowing smile then said, "Well that's probably because you two are so much alike. You know how to push each other's buttons so easily… God I wish I had that."

I couldn't help myself and I reached over to squeeze one of her hands. I maintained my hold on it as she continued, "Plus you both know the truth about the job and think that being apart from each other will somehow make the possibility of losing each other forever easier, but it's really just been hurting yourselves even more." She beamed at the stunned look at my face. "I dated the author of the books, so I got to read everything, even the parts that were never published."

"Really? Well… That's just his interpretation of the situation Becky… Besides that's all in the past…" I replied staring at my beer bottle. "I'm trying to just focus on the future that I can create with him now." Once the words left my mouth, my head whipped around and I more repentantly said, "And now that I've made it all about me… Becky…? Take my word; being in love with someone isn't going to magically solve all of your problems. You're a beautiful, intelligent, albeit sometimes misguided, woman… You shouldn't determine your worth by the guy that you're with… He should be doing that with you."

Her smile shifted and started to less sad and more genuine as she questioned, "You really think that?"

"I really do Becky." I stood up then pulled out four twenty dollar bills and added, "You have nothing but choices in front of you… Just be careful and make the right ones, okay?"

Her lips curved into a softer smile as she nodded then I turned to leave even though I didn't really know where I was heading out to this time. By the time that I made it to Delaware, I had traveled almost clear across the country twice without gaining anything but mileage on the odometer of my GTO. Right now I was starting to feel like I was chasing a ghost when I was supposed to be one myself. But I couldn't find it in myself to fight my true nature. I was a hunter and chasing ghosts was just a small part of the job description. Plus if Dean Winchester was a ghost, he was one I was happy to chase around the world if it came down to that.

A/N: Sorry for the delay... This took me much longer than I had anticipated due to the concussion and other aliments from my being attacked. Hope you enjoy!