(thank you to everyone leaving reviews! they really mean a lot, and i take them all to heart. and, without further ado, here's chapter 5!)
When I came to, however cheesy it may sound, it felt like a weight was being lifted off of me. It was a slow awakening, like when you're left to your own devices on weekend and you wake up about three times until you finally decide to actually get up. It wasn't painful, like I thought it was going to be, just mostly warm.
I stretched out my legs until the joints in my knees and ankles popped and I rolled over, taking note of the IV attached to the crook of my elbow. There was a whole bunch of medical junk clipped onto me, which was frustrating and maybe a little nostalgic, and I wondered where the fuck Yukari was.
I'm not enough in a daze to be confused—coming back from the Velvet Room feels instantaneous, so, yeah, no, I know I'm stuck in Persona 3, I know I'm in a hospital, and I know Yukari is supposed to be in here to tell me her life story.
But alas, there is no such teenaged girl, so I keep looking around the room to maybe call a nurse. I can't remember how long you're supposed to have been out for, but it was definitely a while, so maybe the nurses and doctors would like to know I'm awake. Maybe.
Just as I'm reaching for the call button that's a little too damn far away from, the door creaks open and Yukari's precious face peeks in.
"Oh!" she starts, pushing the door open a little more. "You're awake!"
I wave. "Good morning."
She closes the door behind her as she walks in, and pulls up a chair to sit next to me. "Thank goodness, you finally came to… " There's a deep, relieved sigh and I start to feel flustered, amazed someone who's known me for such a short amount of time would care so much about me. She probably still doesn't give a shit—more worried about whether or not that new girl who kicked Shadow ass is okay since I would be quite the valuable asset to the SEES team. Or so they made it seem in the video game. I'm actually outstanding levels of useless.
I decide to break the silence. "So, I assume I'm in a hospital?"
"Oh, yeah! This is Tatsumi Memorial Hospital, it's really close to the station," she explained, fidgeting a little. "The doctor, um, said he couldn't find anything wrong with you. He said you were just exhausted and malnourished… He said you hadn't eaten anything in days, is that true?"
Oh, yeah, it is, isn't it. I smile guiltily at her, and she groans at my response. What? I just never did any searching for money until we were at the mall, I always fell to sleep too early on the other days, and I just never really felt hungry! I guess that means I was in starvation mode or something, when you refrain from eating so long you just kind of stop feeling hungry, but Yukari scolds me with all the expected words and I nod to let her know I'm paying attention.
After she calms down, she looks at her hands in her lap and we spend a moment in silence, listening to the clock tick and the heart monitor beep.
"I'm sorry," she starts, really soft. "I couldn't do anything. Your power…was amazing. I'd never seen anything like it before."
"What did I, exactly, um, do?" I ask, and even though I know exactly what happened and pretty much what she's gonna say next, I should probably not seem like I know too much about Persona at this point in time. "I just got a really bad headache, and…"
"Um, well," she says, shuffling forward in her seat and looking up to face me. "The power you used… We call it 'Persona'. And those creatures you defeated are Shadows—our enemy. Mitsuru-senpai will probably explain everything better later, and I'm really sorry I didn't tell you before." I tell her it's alright, but she still has that regretful face on. "I really am sorry. And, I, uh… I wanted to tell you… That I think we're sorta similar, you and me."
"What do you mean?" I ask, partially confused and partially bored.
"My dad died in an accident when I was little, and I'm not exactly on good terms with my mom. And you… you're all alone too, right?" Well, right now I am, and the thought apparently visibly darkens my face. Yukari stumbles, flustered. "I-I mean, I already know about your past, and it felt wrong for me to know so much and you not know anything…"
She takes a deep breath and goes back to not looking at me.
"It was back in '99. There was a big explosion in the area, near here, actually. Apparently, my dad died in the blast, but nobody really knows what happened. He was working in a lab run by the Kirijo Group, Mitsuru-senpai's family's business. I thought, if I stuck around long enough, I might be able to find out something, and… That's why I'm going to Gekkoukan High, and why I'm staying in the dorms, and why I was there when the attack happened and this happened to you."
She groans, rubbing her forehead. I sit patiently, waiting for her to finish, words pressing against my lips, aching to be heard. "Of course, I panicked and was of no help. It was my first time fighting them, too, to be honest. I'm really sorry… This wouldn't have happened if I wasn't such a coward."
"I was really fucking scared, too," I say, both probably following the script and telling the truth. The only reason I managed to pull that trigger was because I knew I absolutely had to, and because I didn't give myself time to think over it.
"But you didn't seem like it," Yukari protests. "I couldn't do a thing. And then you collapsed… And I'm dumping all this on you as soon as you wake up. I'm sorry."
She wouldn't let me talk, but instead kept doing so herself. "As I've been waiting here… I thought to myself, I'm going to tell you the truth. I've been hiding too many things."
"Thank you for telling me," I say, sounding dumb again.
"No, thanks for listening," she says, looking sad and sounding sadder. "I've been waiting a while to tell someone all that. I'll, um, go tell the others you're awake."
She quickly gets up and leaves, and—wait, wasn't there supposed to be something else? Wait, what happens next? I look around the room awkwardly. In the game, I'm pretty sure it just went straight to the dorm, but I still have to get checked out and all of that hospital stuff. Goddammit, couldn't they have just let me lounge in my room? Do I need health insurance? Am I gonna be paying for this? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS? Pharos, help. Anyone but Igor, help.
I try to sit up and pop my back when the door opens again and I'm sure I look like a crazed animal when Yukari's face looks through my door. I smile, and the door opens wider, Mitsuru and Akihiko striding in.
My eyes widen and I get flustered again. This didn't happen in the game! Oh God, am I gonna get the Dark Hour Talk now. I need time to prepare myself for this—I am but a frail and fragile flower, as of yet unaware of the terrors the world has yet to show me.
"Good morning, Arisato," Mitsuru starts, her voice cool and calm. She's wearing what her sprite normally wears on their days off, that turtleneck and with leather jacket and pants and dang man she's hot. Akihiko stands next to her, his face still a little bit scuffed up, but he's not wearing his day-off sprite clothes. He's a bit more casual, since I'm 99% sure the sprite involves a blazer. "I'm glad to see you're awake."
"We haven't met yet, have we?" Akihiko grins and I blush. DAMN HE'S HOT why is everyone so hot. I'm internally screaming and crying when he holds out a hand and says, "I'm Akihiko Sanada. I'm a senior at Gekkoukan, like Mitsuru."
His hands are warm and calloused and I feel my teenage girl heart flutter. I stumble out a, "are you also okay?" and he chuckles. His voice is a bit deeper than the one in the game, but I think it's a given that their real voices are a different from the game voices.
"I'm fine. I just got a bit bruised, nothing as exciting or worrying as you passing out."
Mitsuru glares at him, her upper lip curling into a scowl. "Don't listen to him, Arisato. While he may be stable now, he has a hairline fracture on his ribs and is therefore forbidden to participate in any extraneous physical activities."
My first thought is sex, my second is Shadow fighting, it takes the third guess to make the correct words. "But what about his club?"
Yukari looks at me funny, probably wondering how I knew that, but Akihiko and Mitsuru aren't taken aback or anything. "He is banned from that, as well," Mitsuru says with an air of finality. Akihiko groans like a petulant child.
Before they get to bickering, Yukari interjects. "Um, Mitsuru-senpai! Will Celia be able to come back to the dorms tonight?"
Mitsuru nods, back to being a businesswoman. "We will have a doctor brought in to make sure her vitals are alright, and if she checks out, yes, she will be returning tonight."
"What about the fee?" I ask, unsure. "Don't we have to pay something?"
With a warm and familiar smile, Mitsuru tells me to not worry about it, and then before I can thank her or apologize, she shuffles Akihiko out of the room forcibly. Yukari turns back to me, the door still open, and shifts her weight from one leg to another, looking like she has something to say.
"Celia, you don't have to be formal around me or anything. We second-year girls gotta stick up for each other, after all."
I stop her before she leaves, asking, "Yukari, uh, how long have I been asleep?"
She pauses. "Huh? Oh, um, well, it's the 19th now, so… Nine days?"
"Well, fuck."
A doctor came in after that, asked me some questions, checked out my vitals, and told me I was alright to be discharged. I got a prescription for some weak pain pills in case anything suddenly started aching, and when I waddled over to the nurse's station after changing into some clothes that I'm pretty sure Yukari had brought over in a rush, the nurse just tells me it was all taken care of and I'm ready to go home.
I was half-expecting someone at the entrance to escort me home, but apparently me having been in a coma for nine days isn't a big deal, so I trudge off to the station in a bad and/or sad mood.
When I get back to the dorm, I realize no one is signed in, which makes me ferociously curious, but I'm really tuckered out, so after an extremely quick shower, I crawl up to my room and sleep some more.
I don't go to school the next day, despite it being a Monday. When I finally wake up, it's noon, and there's a note on the sign-out sheet from Mitsuru, telling me to rest up and eat something from the kitchen in the back of the lounge. I feel really dumb for having forgotten that place. In the game, it was more of a sometimes plot point—Shinji cooking stuff there, and Fuuka burning stuff there, but that's pretty much it. I never really thought it was a place people actually ATE AT, and when I check out the fridge and pantry, I realize there's actually quite a bit of food there. Most of it is ingredients—milk, vegetables, canned soup, not many finished meals, but there's a closed box of cereal without a name on it, so I take that back up to my room and decide to munch on it while finishing my unpacking.
By the time I'm finally fucking finished (I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER OWNING THIS MUCH STUFF), I've got a lot of clothes, a lot of books, a lot of school supplies, a whole lot of pillows and blankets, and one electronic. Really. My laptop, my cell phone, my PSP, my DS, everything must've been left in the real world. The other real world. The only thing Igor or Pharos or Nyx or whoever the fuck decided fit to let me keep is my iPod, wrapped up neatly with charger at the bottom of my box of pillows and stuffed animals.
That's a good thing, though, and I start listening to it as I start putting things away. The charger has the wall socket connection, so I don't need my laptop, but I'm gonna fucking miss the internet. I'm sure there must be a reason for it, but finding that out means asking Igor and fuck if I'm gonna do that.
When I walk back downstairs to put back the rest of the cereal, Yukari is standing there, signing it. Is it that late already? She notices me and skips over happily, much less awkward than yesterday.
"Hey! Are you feeling better?'
"Yeah," I say, sounding incredibly stupid. "I've been unpacking. And eating."
"That's good," she says, relieved. "When the doctor told us you were malnourished Mitsuru-senpai went out and bought a lot of food so you'd have something to eat. She said she felt guilty, since you probably didn't feel welcome enough to use the kitchen, and that you should feel comfortable. Although," she giggles. "Akihiko-senpai ate some of it. I'm glad you're feeling better."
Mitsuru having bought all the food would explain the notable lack in instant foods, although Akihiko's presence probably also had something to do with that. I'm really amazing she would do that, though. She is a little naïve when it comes to teenage socialisation, and she's also pretty earnest, so that might be why she thought it must've been a lack of welcomeness that kept me from eating.
"I'm glad I'm feeling better, too," I say, smiling honestly.
Yukari tells me there'll be a meeting on the fourth floor in the evening when everyone's home, and after we spend some time talking over school and school work, we both head back upstairs to our respective rooms.
When it comes time for the meeting, Yukari comes and gets me, and I see her for the first time in lounge clothes. All the other times it's been school uniform or her sleep clothes, that one time I saw her early in the morning. She's not wearing what she wears in the game, but I guess that's a given. It'd be weird if she only had three sets of clothes. I've pulled my hair back into a ponytail by now, consciously trying to look a bit more like the FemC in the game, since I figure if I'm going to step into her position, I might as well do so all the way. Now to just become the cutest thing ever. Ha.
We climb up to the fourth floor, and when we get there, it's literally just a hallway with a big door at the end. Yukari knocks nervously, and when we hear the okay to enter, we open the door see Mitsuru, Akihiko, and the Chairman guy sitting on the sofas.
Ikutsuki or whatever stands up. "Ah, there you are. I certainly am glad you're okay, Arisato-san. I wasn't sure what I'd do if anything had happened to you. Please, sit, sit down."
Me and Yukari take adjacent seats on a sofa opposite Mitsuru and Akihiko, and the Chairman also sits down. I feel like making a joke about having to notify my next of kin of my demise, but I figure this might not be the appropriate time or venue for that kind of humour, so I stay quiet.
"The reason I asked you here is because I needed to talk to you. Let me start off by asking you this…" His voice has taken a turn for the serious, and even though I know what he's gonna say, I try to look intrigued. This faking it thing is really nerve-wracking, I have to say. I can't wait until there are no more spoilers, and I just seem pretty knowledgeable instead of pretty other-worldly.
"Would you believe me if I said that a day consists of more than twenty-four hours?"
I blinked and forced out a little laugh. "Um, what?"
Mitsuru shuffled a little, looking a bit uncomfortable. Akihiko by her side was by contrast really comfortable, leaning back in his seat and watching the entire situation impassively. The unexpected difference took me off guard. "Do you remember the night you came here, Arisato? You had to have noticed the signs. The streetlights went out, nothing was working…" She swallowed. "There were coffins everywhere. Didn't it feel like you were in a different time? That's the Dark Hour—a time period hidden between one day and the next."
"Wait, hidden?" I asked. This reminds me of a book I once read, thinking about it. "How did we not know about this before?"
The Chairman jumps back in now. "I guess it's more like something people aren't aware of. But, the Dark Hour does exist. It occurs each night at midnight. It'll happen tonight, and every night to come."
I open my mouth to ask something, but Akihiko cuts me off, finally leaning forward in his seat, entwining his fingers. "Normal people don't realise it, since they're all sleeping inside their coffins. But, that's not what makes the Dark Hour so interesting." At that word Mitsuru shoots him a look of obvious distaste, but if he notices, he doesn't do a thing about it. "You saw those creatures. The Shadows. They only appear during the Dark Hour, and they'll attack anyone not in a coffin. Meaning us. It's our job to defeat them. Pretty exciting, huh?"
Mitsuru lightly thwacks him on the shoulder, scowling. He cradles his injury as she scolds him. "Akihiko! Why are you always like that? You just got hurt the other day!"
Akihiko mutters something in defence, but the Chairman flies in to his rescue. "Now, now, he does his work well," He turns back to me, ignoring the Mitsuru-Akihiko thing going on and smiles. "Long story short, we're the Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad—SEES for short. On paper, we're classified as a school club, but in reality, this group is dedicated to defeating the Shadows. Mitsuru is the leader, and I'm the club advisor."
School club, huh. I wonder what the fuck the description is. Can't say we fight disgusting things of the night, so it's probably something dumb like crocheting. We make beaded accessories, we specialize in friendship bracelets, and we also make sugar cookies on the side. Or we used to until Fuuka came along. (She burnt down half our house.)
"A Shadow feeds on the mind of its prey; the victim becomes a living corpse," Mitsuru says, snapping me out of my daze. "They're the ones responsible for most of the incidents on the news, if not all of them."
I guess she expects me to already know about the Apathy Syndrome, or maybe in the game people talk about it, but whatever. I rub the back of my neck, feeling insecure. "How are we supposed to fight them? I know that night I had a gun or something, and there was this thing that showed up… But it's really all just a blur."
The Chairman nods his head. "Although rare, there are those who can function during the Dark Hour. Some may even awaken to a power that enables them to fight the Shadows. That's 'Persona'—the power you used the other night," I wonder if he knows about Igor. Probably not. They should get together and cackle and talk about Persona. "The Shadows can only be defeated by Persona-users. Which means, it's all up to you guys."
"Is that really safe?" I ask, not wanting to sound like a little dick, but wanting answers the game never gave me. "We're just teenagers… Are we really the best option?"
Mitsuru starts to speak and when I look her way, we make really dense eye contact. "There is no other option."
She pulls out a silver case from beneath the coffee table in-between us all and sets it on top. She clicks it open, the noises she makes the loudest thing in the room right now, and when she spins it around to show me what's inside, I'm staring at a polished silver gun.
"What we're trying to say is, we want you to join us. We've prepared an Evoker for you. We'd like you to lend us your strength."
I wonder what would happen if I just stood up and said 'NOPE' and then boogied out the room, but that is certainly not an option. I'm pretty sure the game only offered a few different variations of 'okay' to try and hammer it in that there is no escape. Inception music plays. I look around the room a few times, then settle my sights on the Evoker. "Alright, then."
Next to me, Yukari lets out an audible sigh, and I could feel the tension in the room dilute some. I hadn't even noticed how high-strung everything had gotten. "I was so afraid you'd say no…Welcome aboard, Celia!" She rests her hand on my forearm, squeezing it a little. I feel my face flush.
"Thank you so much, I'm really very glad," the Chairman says, chuckling. "Oh, I almost forgot! About your room assignment… Well, why don't you just stay here, in your current room? I don't know what the hold-up is, but I guess it worked out in the end."
Yukari is visibly confused, and I want to stand up and tell them that I know all their secrets and they should stop hiding them from me now, but that's just a dumb idea. Igor might pop out of nowhere and smack the back of my head for breaking the rules. It's just frustrating.
There's a little clicking noise in the back of my head, a sound similar to a watch tick, and I feel goosebumps run down my arms. This is probably something from the game not knowing how to translate itself to the real world… What is it? Oh, right, Social Links. In the game there was a set number to see how close people were to you, but that's not exactly the case in real life.
I close my eyes for a second, thinking wildly I might see the screen from the game, something familiar, but that's not what I get. It's just black, and I feel like a dumbass.
Right as I open my eyes, I see a flash of the Fool tarot card, and the goosebumps come back.
That night, I lie in bed wide awake, staring at my ceiling. I'm waiting for the Dark Hour to come, and I want to see the shift come. Also I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to meet Pharos again, but I don't know if it's tonight or tomorrow or what.
My watch clicks to midnight, and that heavy feeling comes back. I sit up to look out the window and, yup, there's the moon, terrifyingly huge and bathed in green. My watch itself stops working, the seconds stuck at 00, and when I try to click my iPod on, it refuses to respond.
As I'm experimenting, I feel a pair of eyes on my back, and I whip around to see Pharos' inscrutable grin.
"Hi, how are you?" he asks calmly.
I look back at him. "Fine, thanks."
"Oh, so you remember me?" he says, his smile growing both wider and noticeably happier. That's right, Pharos just wanted to be friends with me. I guess it's good that I'm friendly with him, then. Maybe we can buddy it up and I can spike his drink next time and get him to spill the deets. "I remembered something, and I thought I should tell you. Soon, the end will come."
Hearing those words sends chills down my spine. "Thanks? For telling me. I think."
He leans back, face growing softer and even harder to read. "I wasn't expecting you to thank me. But… You're welcome." A pause. "That… Is what I'm supposed to say, right?"
"It's usually what people say, yeah," I mutter, turning around so we could face each other head n. He's sitting on the side of my bed, his legs dangling off the edge, his butt ON MY FUCKING PILLOW. I sit cross-legged across him, my blanket wrapped around my waist.
"Oh, good," he laughs, sounding amazingly childish. There's some silence, like always, and then he starts speaking again. "I… don't really know what this 'end' is about, either. But, it does seem like you've awakened to your power… And what an unusual power it is. A power that takes many forms, yet is bound by none… It may prove to be your salvation, depending on where you end up."
I wonder how switching Personas is gonna work out. Orpheus just kinda…came. But I guess, that was my first time using that power, so maybe with more practice, I'll be able to call upon more things?
"Do you remember when we first met?" he asks, tilting his head.
"You made me sign a contract."
"I did. And I expect you to honour your commitment."
He gets up off my bed now, and I snatch my pillow away, flipping it over so I don't sleep on creepy-kid butt germs. "I'll be watching you, even if you forget about me," he says, a touch of some disheartening emotion in those words. "See you later."
And, just as creepily as he was the first time around, he steps back and fades into the dark. It's only when the Dark Hour ends that I decide to get back to sleep.