So Maybe I Shouldn't Have Called

"Thanks again for doing that Jones. Since… Well since I know that you've bowed out of the job again, you really didn't have to and all, but with… Well, you know… I just didn't know who else to call to help me out."

"It's absolutely no problem Davis," I replied trying not to let my mind wander to the one person we both had known that any hunter could have called on to legitimize our claims of being law enforcement officers over the phone to the real authorities. When I felt like my resolve might crumble, I instead tried to shift our focus as quick as I could. "Davis? Who the hell told you that I'm done with hunting?"

"No one person in particular... More like it's just common knowledge Jones," he replied sounding slightly taken aback by the anger in my tone. "I don't mean to offend you, but when was the last time that you worked a job? And I talking from start to finish and not just helping guys out here or there over the phone doing research and such."

"Well… I…" Suddenly I realized not only was he right that it HAD been a while, but it would also seem longer to most everyone else because of my months spent living with Edgar when I had amnesia. "It's just… I…"

Davis cleared his throat to interrupt me then said, "I ran into Winchester and Winchester, so I know how hard losing Singer has been on ya. He was a hell of a man and there's no shame in mourning a hunter of his caliber properly."

I couldn't help but laugh when he said "Winchester and Winchester" because no matter who they were, Davis only ever referred to people by their last name. When I was younger I had asked him if it ever got confusing when he was working with two or more people from the same family, but he just snorted out a laugh and I thought that that would be is only reply. Then he quirked an eyebrow and countered, "Because you've never been in a room with more than one Tom or Lisa…" That was the last time that I ever questioned Davis' logic. Even though I was beyond curious to find out the truth, I also lost my nerve to ask him what his first name was since I only seemed to know his family name.

"True… But you're right, I've probably been hiding out here long enough… I can't keep letting you guys hog all of the fun."

Davis barked out a laugh but didn't give any clues about what he had found funny before he replied, "It doesn't hurt for us to have another helping hand out in the field because there's never a shortage of evil bastards to kill."

"Yeah," I agreed slowly. Of course I knew he was right and I instantly felt my cheeks start to burn with embarrassment when I started to think of how the number of hunters had dwindled significantly over the last few years and yet monsters still continued to multiply at an alarming rate. "That's definitely true."

"Alright… So if you need any leads," Davis cut-in when he heard my speech slowing down while I started to get lost in my own thoughts. "I could pass on some of the info that I've dug up on a few things that need to be taken care of…"

His interruption helped me to snap out of my embarrassed state and I was able to reply with my more usual self-confidence. "Thanks, I'll let you know, but I'm sure that my usual source will have more than a few jobs for me to work on."

"Okay," he said, his suspicion so evident that I could practically see him narrowing his eyes. "Well you be sure and call someone if you need back up. You've got my number and if I'm close enough I'll be there, so don't get too cocky."

"Yes sir," I replied almost automatically. "But you know, I've made it this far, so I should be fine…"

"Of course you have, so you keep fighting smart."

I swallowed hard because I knew that many of my Mum's old contacts were protective of me in a parental way (and no one had shown me that more than Bobby Singer and to a lesser extent John Winchester), but I never would have thought that Davis felt that way as well. "I always try to sir."

"Okay good. I'll talk to you later Jones."

I didn't get a chance to respond before he terminated the call and I couldn't help but smile. He ended the conversation in such a familiar way that I felt more at ease and ready to find a job so that I could hit the road and get back to work. Toby was still quite vocal about not wanting me to leave home to hunt, so I knew calling him wouldn't be the best idea for finding a lead for my first solo job after having to deal with everything that had happened over the past year, so I headed towards the computer to see what I could find.

Maybe if I find something close to here that isn't too difficult I thought to myself as I started clicking through the news sites I knew Toby still had book-marked on my computer.

Luckily it didn't take long to find something just over the border into Wisconsin. Even though it looked like a simple salt and burn job that was close enough to home to get there and back within a couple of days, it just felt wrong not to tell the Connors about it in person. I had been on the phone helping a few hunters throughout the day and it took my stomach growling while I sat at the computer to alert me to the fact that it was way past a normal dinner hour. With all of that in mind I felt it would be best to wait until the morning to break the news to everyone. I had a feeling that Maureen and Bill would be relieved (especially since they both had subtly started hinting about my meeting up with Dean again), but I wasn't sure of the best way to broach the subject with Toby.

Turned out that 'sleeping on it' to come up with the right words to discuss this all rationally with Toby was just about the worst thing that I could have done. I had anticipated a restless night's sleep, but somehow my mind was completely at ease with my decision to get back into the game and I slept the most soundly that I had since leaving Edgar behind a few States over all those months ago. When I was gently awoken by the sun peeking through my curtains, I couldn't help but smile into my pillow because I was sure that after having breakfast that I would be able to explain everything to Toby in a way that he would not only be okay with me going, but he would also agree that it was the best thing for me emotionally.

I made a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast and coffee that I practically inhaled. After I finished eating, I quickly double checked the facts of the case before moving to check on everything that I had packed. The affected family seemed to be receptive to accepting 'non-traditional' help, so I was more than happy to leave behind my restricting skirt suits at home in favor of my more comfortable denim and cotton peasant blouses along with the right assortment of jewelry that fit the common stereotype for a psychic to wear.

As I made my way towards the door after yet another check that I had everything I would need I was stopped when I heard the phone ring. I paused at the back door and seriously contemplated not answering it. But then as I hanged my head shamefully I remembered that there were people who counted on me now more than ever because I had the resources in my library that few others possessed, not to mention the nimble fingers to search the internet with speed and precision when my books failed me for the information that they needed.

I hastily tossed my bag towards the door and nearly tripped over my feet as I tried to get to the phone as fast as I could. I almost dropped the phone as I answered it because my brain was moving faster than my hands, but miraculously I managed to juggle it between my two hands until I had it held up to my ear.

"Shit… Fuck… Fuck…" I muttered before saying through panting breaths. "Hey… What's up?"

I heard a deep swallow, but before I could pull the phone away from my ear to check the caller ID I heard a worried, "Addy? Are you okay?"

"Yeah Sam," I replied as I jumped up to sit on the kitchen island. "I'm fine. I was on my way out the door, tripped over my feet and almost did a face plant into the cupboard… So yeah I'm good. How ya going?"

I could tell that he politely suppressed a laugh at my expense because of my clumsiness as he replied, "I'm… I'm good." We both then let out a playful snort and then Sam cleared his throat and more somberly replied, "But… Umm… I was… Umm… Hoping that you could help me with… Uhh… Some information for this job Dee… Uhh that we're working."

Sam's hesitation caught me more than a little off guard, but I knew that if I let it show that he would shut down almost completely on me. "Of course I can Sammy," I replied with fake cheerfulness. "What are you hunting and what do you need to know about it?"

"We're… It's… They're Amazons… I think," Sam explained with the same uncharacteristic reluctance as before. "I was hoping you could confirm my suspicions and might know more about… Umm their M.O. and such…"

I was already heading into the den to pluck out a few of my old journals as I said, "Eww Amazons… Pretty sure I should have a few ugly scars on my back after my last tussle with them… Well if it wasn't for… Well… You know…" Sam sucked in a breath and I nearly apologized for bringing up memories that none of us ever discussed about why my body, much like Dean's, was devoid of most of the telltale battle scars that all hunters wore proudly. I instead just continued with a tone that was only slightly less cheery than before, "But yeah I can help. I had a run in with them about… Four years ago I think…"

"In Miami?" Sam cut in managing to sound both sad and hopeful.

"Yeah… In Miami…" I replied, slightly stunned that he knew that information already. "Anyway… Just so you aren't left wondering, yes I do look hot in a bikini…" I paused hoping that my joke would help to cut some of the tension I was feeling between us. When he let out a breath that sounded like he had been holding, I asked, "Anyway… Enough about me… Do you know the mythology behind them or can I gloss over that and get to the good stuff?"

"Glossing over the background information would be fine, I already know the specifics about the Greek mythology about Harmonia and all that so you can just get to the good stuff," Sam answered with what I thought was a tearful lump growing in his throat.

While I talked and Sam replied, I quickly glanced at my notes, but to be honest that was one job I most likely would never forget. The tone of Sam's voice instantly made me want to crawl through the phone and wrap him in a warm hug, which caused me to keep my voice soft as I said, "Sure Sam, I can do that for you…" When I realized how timid I sounded, I cleared my throat to reply in a louder voice, "So Amazons pretty much hate men… Well except to bring their next generation into the world. For them sex is almost a chore and they are filled with a lot of rage for women who would dare to have sex with men purely for pleasure…"

"Oh man… Addy, I… I didn't mean…" Sam tried to interrupt sympathetically. "I hadn't even considered…"

"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy," I chided playfully. "That was AGES ago! I made it out alive, albeit with a few cuts and bruises, but it's nothing for you to apologize for… Now where was I?"

"Amazons don't like real women who are comfortable and confident with their sexuality," Sam replied with an appeasing tone.

I could tell that Sam was playing 'peace maker' with me right now for reasons unknown to me, but I let it go and would probe into that topic further when we had some time. "Right… Sex for procreation only… Which is a little too Orthodox Catholic for my liking… Anyways, from what I found out last time I came across them, they use a man to get pregnant and then they kill him."

"Yeah I'm getting that inkling too… But… Umm… How did you manage to find all of this out?"

Sam knew me and I was well aware that he knew I preferred blunt honesty, so his careful tone and wording with me kind of threw me off my game for a second. Suddenly I got the worst feeling in my stomach about why he was being so cautious with me and I tried to shock him out of it by explaining, "Well first off, some random teenage girl interrupted us before I could get her 'dad' into bed…" I tried my best to change the tone of my voice the best I could to put quotes around the word 'dad' and then I heard Sam groan softly. Again I nearly abandoned my story to interrogate him, but instead I continued with my narration, "So yeah, he left me to answer the door and then I heard a young girl's voice. I can't say that I was all that surprised that he'd have a long lost kid show up at his door because the guy was more than a bit of a player and was such a workaholic that he didn't want to settle down and have a family… Not my usual type I know…" I once again tried to joke. "But then I heard furniture breaking. By the time I was fully dressed and got out to the living room, he looked like he was out cold and the teen was straddling his chest sawing at one of his ankles with her back facing me…"

"Shit! Really? Did…? Umm… Did you ever…? Uh… Did you figure out why?"

Again I was nearly at a complete loss to figure out why Sam sounded so timid but continued on as if I hadn't heard that tone from him, "Yeah of course I did… Little bitch totally cock-blocked me, so naturally I had to find out why." Sam snorted out another laugh much to my relief. "So… Basically from what I've been able to put together since then, Amazons have a fairly strict schedule that they adhere to. They breed the next generation of freakishly strong, rapidly growing spawn an then they make their tribute to Harmonia…"

"Shit… Shit…" Sam whispered over my narration. "You don't think…?"

I quickly caught onto Sam's train of thought and calmly replied, "Yeah Sam I do, the girls seem to go after their Baby Daddy… Wait! Wait! Sam! Sammy… Sam… You didn't get frisky with an Amazon and now have a freakishly tall, hazel eyed, brunette goddess after you now, do you?"

"No! What…? No!" He replied defensively. "No… I haven't… Umm not really since…"

Suddenly I got a vivid image my mind that had originally formed during Dean's retelling of Sam's life sans a soul and sincerely apologized, "I'm sorry Sam, I WAS just joking… I know you aren't like that, so I have to ask… Is it a friend of yours or something that one of them is going after right now? Because you're sounding like this personal or something…"

Once again I heard Sam swallow uncomfortably before he answered, "Or something. I hope that's explanation enough for you. The professor I was just visiting said the same thing about the dads so all I really need to know is if you know how to kill them or not."

"Yeah… No…" I started while my thoughts started to run wild. 'Or something'? What the fuck does that mean Sam?

"Yeah it's enough explanation and no you don't know how to kill them?" Sam asked desperately with his voice raising a couple of octaves with his panic.

"No I mean, yeah it's no big…" My mind suddenly shifted and I felt my teeth start to grind together unconsciously. I didn't mean to get so upset, but before I could stop myself I angrily spat out, "You don't need this information for you or a friend now do you Sammy?" He made a noise as if he was going to try to stop me there, but I just continued my tirade, "Did you really think I was that stupid and dense? Dean fucked one of them, knocked her up and now you need me to give you some way to save his bow-legged ass, right?"

I paused to give him a chance to respond before more forcefully demanding, "RIGHT?"

"Yeah… Yeah… That's right," he replied just barely over a whisper.

I was right?! Dean's fucking monsters now too? I screamed in my head in an attempt to calm myself down enough to give Sam the information that he needed.

"Well fine… Good… He's doing what I… Fine… Whatever," I said as I paced around the couch in the den in an effort to settle my rage even further.

Sam remained silent and let me mumble out a rant about how I shouldn't be mad because I was the one who let Dean off the leash and told him he was completely free. Of course I never thought that he would take my direction to 'pretend like I don't exist and see if being the old you will make you happy' so much to heart. I had just figured that we'd do our own thing and keep from contacting each other until we realized that the absence from each other was too much for either of us to bear. Now I knew that I had been beyond wrong, but in the end maybe a clean break truly was for the best.

My muttering soon faded into silence and even though Sam was antsy to get the information he needed, he forced himself to remain silent. When he realized that he had most likely lost me to my thoughts, Sam timidly asked, "So you were saying before that the girl had knocked out your… Uh… The guy and was trying to saw off a foot but… Umm… Did…? Were you able to stop her?"

"Huh…? What…?"I asked as I slowly came out of my thoughts. "I'm sorry Sam I missed that… Could you repeat your question?"

I'm sure he tried to hold it back, but Sam let out a relieved sigh then said, "I was just hoping that you could finish your story about what happened in Miami."

"Right… Miami… Amazons… Shit… I'm sorry Sam… Where was I again?" I asked meekly as I sat down on the couch.

"You got up to the part where you two were interrupted by a teenage girl who knocked your date out in the living room," he replied in a more usual neutral tone.

"Right… Right… So she had him out for the count and I just barely caught a glimpse of her sawing at his right ankle with this oversized, gold or bronze blade of some sort. She was acting like she had all the time in the world to mutilate his body so I ran back to his room as quietly as I could to grab my Colt. I wasn't really expecting to shoot her and figured that the gun would do the trick to scare her off. But when I did yell at her, she turned to face me and around her eyes… Seriously Sam I almost don't even know how to describe it… Very briefly they like bled out until there was a thick dark red ring around both of her eyes… I uh… I didn't even think twice before tapping on the trigger twice…" I let myself train off as the vivid images of that day came flooding back. She had been so young and innocent looking that I had had nightmares for weeks where she turned out to be just a teenage girl that I had murdered in cold blood.

Sam didn't seem to notice that my mind had wandered as he tried to clarify the meaning of what I just told him. "So did that do the trick? Did shooting her kill her?"

"Yes," I nearly whispered before clearing my throat to explain more confidently. "Yeah it did. Despite their super human strength, crazy fast gestation period and freaky growth spurt into adulthood, Amazons truly are, for all intents and purposes, human. Any blow that would be lethal to a human would be lethal to them too, but with their strength it's kind of hard to win in a knife fight or hand to hand combat, you know?"

"Yeah, right… That totally makes sense. So go for the kill shot as soon as I have an opening," he answered while he mentally took stock of everything I had told him.

"Exactly. And Sam? Be really careful, okay? They… Umm… The daughters… They really know how to play up the helpless waif card, so be careful of that… That's how one of the moms got the jump on me and was able to leave me in a bloody mess."

"Oh shit Addy, I'm sorry," he apologized sincerely. After a short pause he asked, "Are you okay?"

I laughed unconsciously then replied, "I'm fine Sam. It was four years ago… Plus I was well enough that when I came to I was able to get myself cleaned up and was even able to pick a guy up at a bar."

"Right, of course you were," Sam said with an uncomfortable chuckle. "But that wasn't what I meant."

"Sam," I nearly pleaded as my stomach clenched nervously. "It's fine. I told him he was free to do whatever made him happy. I guess I forgot that in the past that that meant banging every willing piece of ass that crossed his path."

"Addy," Sam gently scolded me to try to interject a few words of wisdom.

I knew what he was trying to do so before he could speak again I quickly cut-in, "No! Seriously Sam, it's fine. I figured that he would eventually move from conquest to conquest again, but I guess I didn't expect it to happen this soon. Honestly Sam, it's alright… I'm good."

"Okay, if you say so. But…"

"I say so… Plus you're wasting time apologizing for something you neither had control over nor had a hand in creating when you should be rescuing your brother from an untimely death again," I interrupted trying not to let my anger bubble over again.

"Right… Right… But Addy…?" Sam started in a gentle voice.

I let out an angry, exasperated sigh then quietly muttered, "Swear to God… Like a fucking dog with a bone… Just like John…" I took in a deep breath then more clearly said, "Sam please, just let it go… Please?"

"I will… I mean I have. I just wanted to say thanks. I really appreciate your help," he answered with mild sadness. "I know that you said that you're fine… And I totally believe you! But no matter what's going on with you and Dean… If you need someone to talk to about anything, I'm more than happy to lend an ear."

"Thanks Sam," I replied trying my best to hide the tears that were trying to surface. "And… Umm… Same to you… I mean… What's happened between… It… It doesn't change how I feel about you. You're still like family and I'm always here if you need me, okay?"

"Okay, good. I just wanted to make sure that that was clear."

"It's clear. Now if you're done with the little heart to heart, you have…" I paused then tried to make it sound like a joke to try to mask the pain I was feeling, "You have to stop your niece from offing your brother, okay?"

"Yeah… Right… Right… I'm actually on my way back to the hotel from the university, but I just wanted to check in with you about how to kill them before I get there just in case," he hastily explained sounding like he was picking up his pace while he walk.

"Okay, good. Good. So I guess I should…"

Sam sill sounded like he was speed walking as he cut in, "Yeah… And I'll call you after to let you know how it turns out."

Before I could tell him he didn't have to do that (actually I wasn't sure that I could handle hearing any more about Dean and his daughter) Sam had already hung up the phone. I stared at the darkened face of my cordless phone and let out a sigh that sounded painfully close to a sob. I kept trying to remind myself that I had nothing to be upset about because Sam was more than capable of saving his brother's life and I no longer had an emotional stake in Sam's brother's well-being. Or at least that's what I kept telling myself and I was sure that if I repeated that enough times to myself that I would actually start to believe it.

"Okay… Sam's got that covered… Sam's got that covered…" I repeated just over a whisper as I forced my feet to move.

Once I got the strap of my bag back up on my shoulder, I found myself wondering what Dean's daughter actually looked like. By now she would be in her mid-teens and would have grown into most of her traits that she had inherited from him. I made it to my car without noticing that I was walking while I contemplated how different this teen girl would look like compared to the daughter that Dean and I nearly brought into this world. Would this girl have blond curly hair or did the curls come from my mom's side of the family? Would she have his green eyes and freckles or would she inherit her mother's eyes and skin tone like our daughter had in my dreams?

"Stop it! Just stop it!" I scolded myself as I unlocked the trunk. "You forgot about him once, you can do it again! He's moved on so now you move on, damn it! No more dwelling on things you can't change!"

By the time I was seated behind the wheel of my car I felt my resolve breaking and the first tear trickling down my cheek. Even though I had sort of been through this before with Dean, I couldn't get a firm handle on my emotions. Although last time I had written off a lot of my emotional outburst as being a result of my hormones being out of whack due to my pregnancy, but this time I had nothing to hide behind. This time I had to face my feelings head on while I dealt with them. Thankfully I had a hunt waiting for me because nothing was better for me to clear my head than helping a family overcome a horrific ordeal and focusing my attention on killing something evil.

I rubbed my sleeve over my cheeks to dry them the best that I could then said to my reflection, "But first to get past the Toby hurdle."

When I pulled up to the Connor's I was relieved to see Maureen's vehicle in the driveway because I knew that she would be more than willing to help me to convince Toby that this hunt was a good idea if I failed to do so on my own. She just happened to be returning some supplies to the garage as I pulled up to park beside her car and she waited for me by the garage door with a warm smile on her face as I walked up to meet her.

As soon as I stepped out of my car, her smile faded and she rushed over to my side worriedly asking, "Adelaide? Honey…? What's happened? What's wrong?"

"What?" I asked managing to sound genuinely confused. "I'm fine Mo… In fact I'm actually better than fine."

"Sweetheart…" Maureen replied with a firm, loving tone as she pet my cheek. She then gently ran the tip of her index finger under my right eye saying, "You've been crying Adelaide and that is in no way a sign of someone being 'fine'."

I thought that I had given myself enough time while I came up with the perfect way to describe my new job to Toby for the evidence of my tears to have faded away, but I still somehow managed not to react to her accusation. Instead I smiled warmly then took her by the hand and led her back to the house explaining, "I swear to you Mo, it really is. See I found this job and from what I read the family is really reluctant to talk to anyone else about what's going on with them…" She sat me down at the kitchen table with a relieved smile spreading across her face causing my tone to sound more and more excited as I spoke. "But them not talking is totally fine because other people in their town had talked to the papers and given them enough details that I was able to piece most of the story together and then I… I called the family and… Uhh… Posed as a psychic…" Maureen's eyes nearly bugged out of her head in surprise, so I threw my hands up in a sign of surrender as I defended myself before she could interrupt to scold me. "I know I know it's a horrible thing to lie about, but it somehow worked. Alice… That's the teenaged daughter of the family… She opened up to me about everything. These were just sympathy tears…" Maureen gave me a stern look so I shrunk back in my seat feeling like I did as a teenager when I was caught in a lie while more sheepishly saying, "Well the genuine sympathy tears did help me to sell my story, but that's not really my fault is it?"

"No Adelaide," she replied managing to make her voice sound both soft and strict at the same time. "It isn't your fault and I am glad that they helped her to feel more comfortable talking with you. I'm sure she needed to get all of that out. So…? Do you have far to travel to work this job?"

"No Ma'am. It's just a few hundred miles from here. And it seems to be a pretty simple, straightforward case, so I don't anticipate being away for too long," I explained taking the mug of coffee she was offering me.

Maureen had never out right told me that she didn't like hearing the details of the hunts I went on, but her body language and overall change in demeanor over the years was evidence enough for me that she didn't. I rarely had her or Bill tend to my wounds because I usually ended up rambling about what had happened during the fight to try to justify my actions which just made them feel even more uncomfortable. Maureen would avoid making eye contact with me and you could see all of the muscles in her body stiffen with every word that tumbled out of my mouth whereas Bill would get this sad, haunted look in his eyes and he would avoid trying to touch me (almost as if he thought that I would shatter or crumble in his hands). As a result of those reactions, I tried to be more tactful about how I talked to them about my jobs. If I thought I was going after something and that there was a chance of me getting seriously injured, I was always honest with them about that possibility and then I would be sure to check in with them on a strict, pre-approved schedule.

Maureen sat down across from me, but before she could attempt to question me any further about my travel plans we both heard Toby's voice coming from the door, "But what are you hunting Addy? How do you know it'll be an easy job if you haven't been there yet? How do you know that they're telling the truth? Or that they're descriptions are accurate? Haven't you always said that you never actually know what the job is about until you get there to assess the situation yourself? Well…? Haven't you?"

I swallowed hard and forced the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes to stay put as I answered, "You're right…" When I noticed that I was practically whispering, I cleared my throat, looked him straight in the eye then tried again. "You're right Toby; I don't know what it is for sure, that's why I said it 'SEEMS pretty simple'. From what Alice told me it sounds like her mom brought home a haunted object from Alice's uncle's house after he committed suicide. Nothing I've heard or read so far has led me to believe that this job is anything other than a simple salt and burn hunt."

Toby's face fell into a hard frown, but I could swear that I saw his lip tremble slightly. I reached out to take his hand but he quickly wrapped his arms around himself to keep himself out of my reach. Maureen had seen this type of exchange between the two of us over the years, especially since they became quite common once Toby hit his teen years, and she was usually more than happy to let us work out our differences out on our own, but today she strayed completely from her norm.

"Tobias," she started as she wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer to me. Once she was close enough to touch me, she pet the side of my head continuing in a calm, serene tone, "Our Adelaide has more than enough experience to get a feel for any job before she gets on scene. Plus we all know that she'll be extra careful when she's working on her own now, so we have to trust her and just be supportive right now."

I encircled Maureen's waist with my right arm and then placed a gentle hand on Toby's still folded arms as I added, "Not to mention our regular check-ins. Once I get there I'll reassess the job and then I'll call to update you about what it is before I move in to finish it. Does that sound like a fair deal Buddy?"

Toby nodded shallowly causing a lone tear to trickle down his right cheek. I could tell that he had a thousand, most likely conflicting, thoughts running through his mind, but he remained mute and just chewed on his bottom lip. After a couple of uncomfortable quiet moments, Toby shrugged out of both of our holds and to my surprise he threw his arms around my neck and nearly slammed his face into my chest. I remained frozen in my place while he cuddled into my torso and I didn't come out of my haze until Maureen started stroking the length of my hair gently.

She and I shared a moment to have our own version of a silent conversation much like I had witnessed when working with any of the Winchesters and I knew that she was going to give Toby some time alone to talk. She leaned in to place a kiss on my forehead and then gave me an encouraging smile before turning and exiting the room. Once we were alone, Toby shifted his hold on my neck and then he crawled into my lap. Since he had experienced yet another growth spurt this year, he was easily close to being a foot taller than me now, so it would have made more sense (as well as being more comfortable) if our places were reversed. Luckily Toby noticed this too and shifted his weight so that more of it was on the chair behind him than on my legs before he folded his upper body to hug me tightly. He sighed against my torso and seemed content just to hold me, so I too remained silent and just reveled in the feeling of having him this close to me with my having to prompt him in any way.

"I know you'll be okay and that you know what you're doing on the job, but there's still… I don't know, like a little voice in the back of my mind saying that you shouldn't go," he explained as he slipped off my lap onto the chair behind him to leave only his legs stretched out over my lap.

I lifted his legs at his knees so that I could shift in my chair to more comfortably face him. He tried to pull his legs off my lap, but I stopped him by tightening my grip around his knees as I asked in a soft, quiet voice, "And has that voice gotten louder since I told you about what happened to Bobby?"

He nodded and tried to pull his knees back and this time I let him. We both then turned in our seats so that we were facing each other straight on with our knees touching. Toby started to pick at a scratch on the knee of my jeans that had started to fray, but hadn't yet turned into a hole in order to avoid making eye contact with me. I lifted my hands to reach out to him a couple of times but refrained from touching him to give him the time he needed to collect his thoughts.

"Yeah it has," he replied still staring at my knees. I placed my hand over his that was picking at my jeans and he thankfully turned his eyes up to my face. "And I… I'm okay with it making me feel afraid for your safety, but I really wanted to be honest with you."

"Toby…" I said trying to console him.

"No Addy, I need… I mean I want to explain what I mean by that… Please?" He asked with a determined look in his eyes that made me ignore the tears that had dried on his cheeks.

I sat up straighter and folded my hands in my lap as I replied with a more than audible hitch in my throat, "Of course you can Toby… Go… Go ahead, I'm listening."

His lips pulled back into a tight smile as he too sat up straighter and unconsciously mirrored my position to near perfection. "Okay so this semester I have English and I've always hated English class…" I snickered then whispered, "Me too." His face softened and his tone sounded more like his usual excitable self as he continued, "But this year I Mister Everett and he's like a genius! We've been studying poetry and he's even gotten us to examine song lyrics instead of just a bunch of dusty old poems, which is awesome. So anyway, I always looked at love songs and poems as being all touchy feely or airy fairy…"

He stopped there to scrutinize my reaction because for a brief moment he looked and sounded exactly like Dean and I'm sure that I flinched just enough to tip him off that something was wrong. When I realized what had happened, I quickly forced myself to regain control so that I could keep my face and posture relaxed and open. Thankfully he only saw what I was trying to project and he relaxed in his seat as well.

"Well anyway, he manages to make studying poetry less… Uhh… Abstract… Oh and less boring! And since Valentine's Day is coming up, he's of course been talking about love… And again I know that it's usually a pretty lame topic to talk about, but yesterday in class he said something that I can't stop thinking about…"

A faint blush started to creep up his neck and then Toby quickly tilted his head down to break eye contact. He started to crack his knuckles then fidgeted uncomfortably so I leaned over to ask through a whisper, "What can't you stop thinking about Buddy?"

His head shot up and he lunged forward to hug me around the neck exclaiming, "I love you Addy!"

"And I love you too Toby," I answered with an uneasy chuckle because we had told each other that same thing almost every day since Toby had started to speak, so it wasn't exactly 'news' to me.

Toby huffed out a laugh and sat back shaking his head explaining, "That's… That's not all. What Mister Everett taught us… Umm… He…" Toby took in a deep breath and once again made direct eye contact to brace himself to finish his thought. "Well… Long story short, I now know that it's okay to be scared when you're away from home and out hunting."

"But Toby you don't…"

"No," he interrupted with calm surety. "No that's not what I meant. I mean that's not all of it. What he taught us is that if you love someone then it makes perfect sense that you'd be scared of losing them. Being afraid that I'll lose you doesn't mean that I don't want you to hunt or to take risks, it just mean that you're an important person in my life and that it would totally suck if you weren't around. If I didn't love you then I wouldn't care if you weren't a part of my life. Does…? Does that make more sense?"

I nodded then held his hands in mine saying, "Yeah Buddy that… That makes perfect sense. But I promise that I'll be okay, so try not to worry about me too much."

He smiled smugly (once again looking so much like Dean that I felt like I could break down in tears right then and there) and shook his head replying, "Nope, I've been told that some concern is normal… And healthy, so that's what you're going to get from me and you can't make me feel any different."

I pulled him into an uncomfortably tight hug (mostly so that I could regain control of my emotions without having to look into 'Dean's' face) and said, "Just so long as it isn't too much thought Tobs."

"No promises," he whispered hugging me with the same intensity I was using to hold him again me. "I'll pray for you too Addy."

I sat back and held his cheeks so that he would see my grateful smile. "I really appreciate that." After placing a soft kiss on his forehead I said against it, "I love you with all my heart and soul Buddy and nothing is ever going to change that."

Toby swallowed thickly but neither of us moved or spoke until we heard Maureen enter the room saying, "All of us will keep you in our prayers until you get home Sweetheart."

I turned to face her as she directed the rest of her comments to Toby, "So you two worked everything out Tobias?"

"Yes Ma'am," he replied taking my hand and resting it in my lap. "I told her everything just like you suggested and you were right Mom."

Maureen gave me a knowing smile as I looked between them and I couldn't help but smile while I stifled a laugh. Maureen was the most honest person I had ever met and yet she was also the only person I knew that could easily manipulate any situation to help clarify or further her point of view. This time when I looked over at the cheeky smile that had made its home on Toby's face, I no longer saw the shadow of his biological father haunting me. Much to my relief Toby instead reminded me of the woman who had raised him from day one and molded him into the young man as well as the woman who was helping me to be the woman I still didn't believe that I could be for my family and friends.

Before I was permitted to head back on my route to Wisconsin, Maureen insisted that I stay at their house to have lunch. Even though I knew that eating with Maureen and Toby would put me severely behind schedule, I couldn't bring myself to refuse them because deep down I really didn't want to leave. I felt safe with them, but then again the longer I stayed off the road the harder it was for me to avoid questions about what was going on between myself and Dean, so leaving meant that I wouldn't have to come up with any elaborate lies to cover up the truth.

By the time I checked into a motel in my destination of Jamestown, Wisconsin, it was just a little after 6pm so I dumped my luggage in my room then found somewhere to eat. I figured that at this time of the evening that Alice and her family would be doing the same and I didn't want to start off on the wrong foot with them by interrupting their family meal. While I ate at a diner down the street from my motel I tried to get into character while reviewing everything that I had found during my brief research.

After I ate, I returned to my room and changed into a white cotton peasant top with multi-colored flowers embroidered around the neck and hem to go along with the jeans I was already wearing. I had made sure to only apply a light layer of makeup when I got ready in the morning in order to project the appearance of someone who was 'one with the Earth' because in my mind's eye that's what I saw when I thought of any of the real psychics I had met over the years.

It was starting to get dark by the time that I finally made my way to the Reynolds' residence and I nearly prayed to God that I hadn't waited too long to go to visit them. The area seemed pretty rural and was bordering on farm country, so I couldn't help wondering if they would have the same habits that the Connors adhered to when they ran their farm and would be going to bed early. Even with those fears gnawing at my subconscious, I still decided to see this through. A family was being terrorized and I had to put a stop to it no matter what reservations I might be having.

The first thing I noticed as I drove down the driveway to the house was that there were a few lights still on. As I got closer to the house I could even see the flickering screen of a television causing me to let out a loud sigh of relief. I figured that with those signs of life that I wasn't really pressing my luck by visiting them tonight. I used the walk from my car to their front door to silently practice the limited vocabulary that I remembered that the psychics I had worked with had used so that I could at least somewhat sound the part now that I felt like I looked it.

To my surprise the front door creaked open as I was raising my hand to knock and then I found myself staring into the weary brown eyes of a teenaged girl. She couldn't have been much older than Toby but she appeared to be so sleep deprived that the dark circles under her eyes and fatigue lines scattered across her face added at least half a decade to her appearance. It broke my heart to see someone her age look so brow beaten and I had to ball my hands into fists at my sides to keep myself from wrapping her in a tight hug because I figured that she was going through enough right now that she didn't need a random stranger invading her personal space.

"Miss Wells? That… That's you, right?" She asked in a quiet, tentative voice.

I smiled warmly as I nodded and replied, "Yes Alice, that's me. But please, just call me Rusty, okay?"

Her lips curved into an easy smile and life slowly came back into her eyes She opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by her dad calling out, "Alice? Alice? Who's at the door?"

"Papa," she replied more energetically than I thought she would be able to sound after how withdrawn she had looked when she first opened the door. "This is Miss Rusty. She's the lady I told you about that was going to head over here to help us."

"Miss Rusty," he announced with a tone of recognition.

I took his offered hand to give it a firm shake replying, "It's nice to meet you Mister Reynolds, but it's Rusty. Please just call me Rusty, sir."

"Of course. And my name is Grant," he said taking a step into the house and gesturing for me to enter. "I'm sorry that my wife isn't still up and about… She's… She's been through so much that it was all I could do to get her into bed to try to rest."

As soon as I stepped into the house, Alice's hand slipped into mine. She laced our fingers together to keep a firm hold on my hand and led me to a couch explaining, "After Mister Terry figured out why Uncle Bobo was haunting us, Mama kind of… She…"

"Shh… It's okay Alice," I interrupted gently as I pet her head with my free hand. "She's been through more than anyone should have to endure… All of you have. I'm just glad that you were able to get her to try to sleep." I then turned to her father and asked in a calm, serene voice, "And this… I mean, Terry that was helping you… Was he able to…? Uhh… Lay Bruce to rest?"

"He said that he did, but not until after Bruce's supervisor confessed to making my brother in law's murder look like a suicide," Grant explained with a hint of anger sneaking into his tone.

When her father described the situation so bluntly I swiftly shifted my attention to Alice to try to comfort her. As soon as my eyes landed on the teen I knew that my concern was all for nothing.

She somehow maintained her bright smile as she said, "I'm okay. Mister Terry was worried about talking about everything in front of me too, but Uncle Bobo was my best friend, so Papa said that I deserved to hear the truth first hand… Well so long as I thought that I could handle it that is…"

"You're very brave and are handling all of this like a champion," I earnestly praised as I finally pulled her into a hug. She remained under my arm to relax against my side and I inwardly marveled at how comfortable and natural it felt for her to do just that. "And may I ask how Terry was able to… To…"

"Vanquish Bruce's spirit?" Grant finished for me. Alice squeezed my torso as I nodded. Her father chuckled at my unease then answered, "After his boss confessed everything to Terry… Well with some help from Bruce's ghost, Bruce then told Terry what my wife had brought home with her that his soul was still attached to."

Alice gave me a sad smile then said, "I'm still not even sure why Mama would want to keep one of Uncle Bobo's razors anyway."

"He cut himself shaving and there was blood on it," I mused aloud without noticing that I was speaking. They both smiled which allowed me to cover up my own faux pas with a grin. "So he was angry because of the cover up and took it out on you all because the razor kept his spirit anchored here…"

"That's what Mister Terry told us," Alice answered with a nod. She then stole a glance at her father and he smiled encouragingly then jutted his chin towards me. Alice swallowed hard then seemed to lose some of her earlier bravado and more timidly asked, "But could…? Umm… Miss Rusty…? Could you use your…? Umm psychic…? Stuff to make sure that Uncle Bobo really is gone?"

I squeezed her hand and let some tears surface to show her my sincerity as I answered, "Of course I can… I mean I would love to check on that for you and uhh… If you wouldn't be opposed to it Mister… Uhh Grant, I could even do a cleansing for you as well, sir."

"After everything we just went through I would never say no to anything that could help to keep it from ever happening again." He stood up so I followed suit and then he shook my hand adding, "Alice would you able to show Rusty everything on your own while I check on your mother?"

The teen smiled triumphantly at being to in charge of such an important task. I tried not to scowl while I wondered why these people trusted me so quickly and easily. I knew I had put on a good performance on the phone for the teen, but I didn't think it had earned me such seemingly blind faith. Alice followed me out to my car to get some supplies while I continued to silently question why these people let a stranger be alone with their daughter with no questions or reservations.

"He said that if you were driving a GTO that you were a friend of his and you would help us," Alice explained as I started the cleansing ritual.

I froze in my spot then asked in genuine confusion, "What?"

"Mister Terry," she clarified with a playful smile. "When I told him that you had called to offer your help and he said that if you were driving a GTO that you were a friend of his and that we could trust you."

"And your Papa saw my car when he greeted me at the door?"

She nodded then nearly whispered, "Yes ma'am. He signaled me that it was okay, so that's why I took your hand to lead you to the couch… You know to show him I understood his signal and all?"

Alice looked like she expected me to get mad at her, so I made sure that my smile remained bright and inviting as I replied, "Well I'm flattered that he would vouch for me. So…? Would you like to help me out with the cleansing?"

I held out a smoldering bouquet of dried sage to Alice and she took it from me while still looking unsure. I figured that there wasn't really much else that I could say to convince Alice that I wasn't upset if she thought that her comment had done that, so I just continued with the ritual my Mum had taught me when I was Alice's age. She watched me for a bit and when she noticed that my demeanor hadn't changed at all she quickly fell into step with me. I almost stopped to explain what I was doing to her, but she was mirroring my actions so perfectly that I realized that it really didn't seem necessary for me to do so.

When we were finished, Alice brought out the box of goods that her mother had brought home from her Uncle's home. I had no doubts that Terry had been able to stop any further hauntings when he burned Bruce's razor, but I also didn't see the harm in indulging Alice right now. She started pulling the items out one by one and got more and more excited as she explained each one that she removed as she recounted its significance to me. She made sure to give me a moment to examine each item before handing me the next until we had gone through the box's contents and then had them carefully repacked.

"So Miss Rusty…? Do you…? Still…? Umm still feel him here?" Alice asked as she placed the box on the floor beside the couch.

"Yes… And no," I answered honestly. Alice's eyes grew wide with concern, so I gently took her hands in mine and twisted in my seat to face her straight on. "I promise that I'll explain what I mean. First, no I don't feel him attached to anything in the box or around your house." She shuddered then slumped slightly in her seat as some residual tension seeped out of all of her muscles. "But in the next breath, yes I do still feel him… Or rather I feel your love for him. When you talk about your Uncle Bobo your lip quirks back into a bit of a sly smile." She giggled self-consciously when I tapped my index finger against the left corner of her mouth. "That tells me he's still alive in your heart, just like all of our loved ones should be."

Alice pressed her hand against her left cheek then sheepishly said, "Uncle Bobo used to call it my 'secret smile' because he was the only one that got to see it regularly."

I laid my palm against the back of her hand that was still plastered against her cheek quietly saying, "And you still will continue to save it for him and that's… Beautiful."

A tear escaped Alice's eye, but her smile never faltered as she lunged forward to give me an overly enthusiastic hug. "Thank you… Thank you for making all of this better for me."

"Alice I… I didn't really… It was Terry that…"

She sat back to look up at my face, shaking her head saying, "No, no… It's you. He laid Uncle Bobo to rest, but you made me feel less… Less…"

"Neurotic?" I cut in trying to be helpful. Alice scowled at me like she thought that I had called her a dirty name, so I quickly tried again, "Less weird and scatter brained?"

"Oh…"Alice replied with her cheeks turning pink from embarrassment. "Is…? Is that what near…? Near…?"

"Neurotic," I said while over enunciating each syllable to help her learn the word.

"Neurotic? That's what it means?" She asked sounding younger than she had when I first met her.

I smiled and pet her cheek replying, "It sure does Lacey."

Alice fell mute and froze completely in her place just like I thought she would after I used the nickname I had seen her Uncle use for her. Much to my relief she had no idea that I had seen a Valentine from Alice to her Uncle in a bundle of letters her mother had brought home, so I was able to use it to add some credibility to my claims that I was a psychic.

"So he's not mad that I gave Mister Terry the razor to…? To…? Stop him?" Alice questioned as tears of sorrow started to over-take her.

This time I didn't have to pretend to be a psychic in order to say the right thing to comfort her because dealing with this type of situation was something that I had learned about during my first hunt with my Mum. I made sure to wrap Alice in a comforting embrace before I answered, "Not in the least Sweetheart. He was angry because someone lied about how he had died which made your Mum so sad that it hurt him. But Terry was able to help him get the truth out, but you…" I gently pushed her back so I could hold her cheeks as I continued, "You my little Angel…" I paused thinking of the times I had called Toby that during the brief period of time when he had known that I was his biological mother and tried to use those emotions to show Alice what an important role she had played in laying her beloved Uncle to rest. "You helped to put his soul to rest so that he wouldn't take his anger out on the people he loves as this situation got worse for him. You done good Koala Bear."

Hearing myself use the same phrase that Bobby had been saying to me since I was a pre-teen caused me to throw my hand over my mouth in shocked dismay. Alice continued to smile while she pulled my hand away from my mouth then slyly replied, "I think that last part was meant for you Miss Rusty."

I nodded dumbly then tried my best to give her a genuine smile. "Sorry about that. I guess you never know when someone else will barge in on a session." I then stood up and said, "Alright… So everything seems to be settled here, but Alice…" I made sure to calm my tone as I held both of her hands as I finished, "Alice if you ever… EVER need anything… And I mean ANYTHING, remember that you have my number and I'm only a few hours' drive away."

"Really?" Alice questioned looking up at me with wide-eyed disbelief.

"Really," I replied as I sat down and gave her another warm hug.

She squeezed me as tightly as she could while saying into my chest, "I'm so glad you found our story Miss Rusty. Knowing people like you and Mister Terry are around makes dealing with this easier."

I couldn't help myself as I held her face and thought of the times I had comforted Toby as I replied, "And I'm honored to have been let into your house to help you." I placed a hard kiss against Alice's forehead then quickly stood up saying, "Make sure to let me know if you need any back up with your Mama, okay? Losing her brother is going to be really hard on her so…"

"I'll be there to support and comfort her," Alice replied resolutely as she clutched one of my hands. "I swear Miss Rusty, I'll be there for Mama any way that I can."

"Good… That's good to hear Alice. Okay. So if you need to talk or anything else, you call me okay? But deep down I can feel that if you all stick together that everything will be just fine."

I almost made it out the door before Alice called out, "Thanks again Miss Rusty. Thank you for everything! And I promise I will call!"

At the door I turned to give her a watery smile and slipped out onto the landing. I took a moment with my back pressed against the closed front door to catch my breath before I even attempted to make my way down the front stairs. For some reason Alice reminded me so much of Toby that it almost hurt, but I couldn't quite figure out why. She looked nothing like any incantation of his sister that I had dreamt about over the past couple of years and yet she still evoked the same fierce protective sentiment from me that Toby did each and every day since I was told that he was growing in my womb.

She doesn't even look like a female version of Toby, so why? I questioned as I made my way back to my car. Is it because she's a helpless kid? Is that why Dean hates taking cases involving kids? Is it because he…? What? FUCK! Fuck! Stop! No! I pressed my thumb and index fingers into my eyes while admonishing myself. Stop fucking thinking about him! He wasn't thinking about you when he knocked up a fucking monster.

While I was still trying to keep my thoughts from straying back to Dean I for some reason thought that calling Toby would be the cure.

"Hey Addy! So what is it that you're fighting?" He asked instead of a proper "Hello".

"Fatigue mostly," I replied as I turned my car around in the Reynolds' driveway.

Toby bit back a sob then took in a deep breath to more calmly ask, "Is it really that bad Addy?"

"No Buddy it really isn't that bad at all." I pulled over to the shoulder on the road beyond the Reynolds' driveway to take the time to properly report, "To be completely honest this job turned out to be a whole lot of nothing."

"Really?" He asked sounding genuinely calmer.

"Really. Another hunter… Actually my old friend that I've told you about took care of all of the hard stuff before I got here."

I heard him swallow and then Toby asked just over a whisper, "So does that…? Are you heading home now?"

"No Buddy, not just yet," I replied as I stole a glance at the clock over my radio. "It's so late and talking everything out with this victim was more exhausting than I anticipated it would be, so I'll be spending at least tonight here."

"At least?" Toby questioned sounding like he was now on the verge of tears.

I tried to keep from breaking my composed demeanor as I explained, "I might spend an extra night here in case Alice needs back up with her Mum. Buddy she didn't grow up knowing about all of this stuff so she's still pretty shaken up about her favorite Uncle turning into an angry spirit. I was…"

"Wow! Yeah… And she's like my age, right?" Toby knew the answer to that question already so he didn't pause before saying, "You stay there as long as she needs you to so you can help them out with all of this, okay Addy? Just let me know if I can do anything, okay?"

"Okay, I think I'll do just that. Thanks for understanding. Love you. G'Night Buddy!"

The next day I woke up and found that I had nothing but the usual SPAM emails waiting for me on my phone, so I decided to take it easy on myself for the rest of the day. True I didn't actually salt and burn any bones to free this family from torment, but deep down I still had a feeling that they would be at peace because of the work that I did do. In my mind being emotionally exhausted because of a job far outweighed any fatigue I would feel from being physically drained and my dead, dreamless sleep further added credence to that fact yet again.

Since I had already told Toby that I might not be home any time today, I decided to just take my time getting up to prepare for the day. I didn't really have any idea what I would do beside sit in my room and that quickly translated into me going to the diner around the corner from my motel again while still looking more like someone fit to be staying at a homeless shelter than the seasoned hunter that I truly was.

As I worked at opening the lock of my motel room door after eating to try to get some more much needed sleep, I felt a hand run through my hair to cup the back of my neck.

"Addy… You've lost weight," the male voice that belonged to the hand teased into my ear. I must have been more tired than I had originally thought because he was able to turn me so that he could kiss me before I had a chance to fight back.

I reciprocated his embraces briefly but once his voice registered in my brain, I came back to myself and planted my hands against his shoulders protesting, "No… Terry… I… I can't… I…"

Terry caught a glint of light that reflected off my left ring finger causing me to more sheepishly finish, "I have a… Complication."

He pulled my hand up to inspect the ring encircling my finger then graciously let it go when I tried to pull it out of his grasp.

"Wow… You… Shit. Addy I'm sorry… I didn't… Well I thought that the only guy you'd ever tie yourself to permanently was that Winchester…"

"And that would be why it's a complication," I interrupted over the rest of Terry's confused commentary. "We're kind of… Anyway…"

"Okay. I think I get it. But I also heard a rumor that you had dropped out of the game, so you taking on this job…?"

I turned to face him as I answered with a slightly humorous tone, "This job that you did all of the hard work? Yeah, I was going to try to use it to end my hiatus."

Terry stepped up beside me and ran his fingers through my hair again while I just continued to stare into his eyes dumbly. Once he realized that his motives weren't clear to me, Terry pecked my lips then said, "Well I still owe you a rain check, remember?"

I let him keep his forehead pressed against mine while I replied sounding like a scared little girl despite my years and experience in the field, "I'm sorry Terry but I can't… Maybe once we… I mean once I…"

"Have your complication figured out?" He graciously finished for me. I nodded feeling too guilty to speak. "Well I can't say that I'm not disappointed, but it was good to see you again Addy. I'm sorry I stole this one out from under you, but not going to lie… It'd be great to work with you on a job again sometime in the not too distant future."

I chuckled then shook my head replying, "The ghost got ganked, the family's alive, they're sticking together to work through the pain… That's all that matters, right?" I gave him a quick hug then added, "And it was good seeing you again Terry. I'm glad you've made it this far with all the weird shit that's happened."

"You too Addy. Hope "running into you" happens again soon."

We gave each other another quick hug and then I finally made it back into my room. After seeing Terry I realized that my plans to hide out at the motel now felt odd and uncomfortable, so I showered, changed, packed and then checked out to head back home.

While I was on the Interstate driving back to Kidder I contemplated calling Toby to let him know that I was on my way heading back home, but then I stopped myself. If he thought that I was still in Wisconsin then I could hide out at my home without being bombarded with any more questions about how Sam and Dean were dealing with all of us losing Bobby or about when I was planning on making more serious attempts to meet up with the Winchesters without feeling any undue guilt from my family.

I could feel my lips quirking into an embarrassed smile as I pulled my bag out of my trunk before I continued to the back door of my house. It seemed so easy and quite brilliant of a plan to just pretend that I was still out of town to get a little time to myself right now, but it still made me feel more than a little guilty. Even as I entered my kitchen thought the back door I was trying to come up with an acceptable excuse to use in case Toby figured everything out and caught me in a lie.

Lying to your family to have a few days alone in your own house? I thought to myself almost laughing. Seriously Addy, that's… I forced myself to stop cold in my spot beside the island without giving the rest of my self-deprecating quip another thought. I wasn't completely sure what it was that had me spooked because I most certainly was not a psychic in any way, shape or form, but something in my gut told me that I wasn't alone in my house. After the whole incident of me and Toby getting kidnapped by Crowley and his goons, I had made sure to refresh all of the sigils and salt lines around the house to ensure that no other demons or angry spirits could penetrate any of them. I hadn't realized before now that Sydney had gone from being completely guilt stricken (over my Mum's death) to being completely work obsessed after Mum's murder that he had neglected to heed Mum's constant warnings that all of our forms of protection needed to be checked and recharged on a regular schedule. But now that I had followed all of the instructions to protect my house per my Mum's original orders that I had stringently followed while growing up, I knew that if someone was in my house right now that is was most likely a regular human or an angel.

In case it was the foe of the latter variety I pulled out a knife from my bag as quietly as I could to draw the blood sigil Dean had taught me that could be used to banish Angels. I sliced my left palm and quickly traced out the logo to the best of my recollection and then I tied a tea towel around my hand to stem the minimal flow of blood. I continued to crawl on my kitchen floor as I fished around for my coat to retrieve my Colt from its pocket. I resisted the urge to pop the clip out to check what ammunition was chambered in the muzzle because I already knew that they were just the common lead rounds that you could buy practically anywhere because I didn't want to make any unnecessary noise. I still stayed as close to the ground as I could so that I could try to catch a glance at whomever it was that had decided to try to ambush me on my own turf and then I hear him issue a loud, full bellied laugh.

"It's just me," he called out all too casually. "Seriously Lay you should probably bring in the salt, Holy Water, silver and Borax so you can be absolutely sure."

Hearing Dean's voice so clearly caused me to fall flat on my ass between my now blood covered cabinet and my island in disbelief. My firearm felt heavy in my hand, so I let it fall to the floor before I tried to push myself up to my feet. Since he (or it) already knew that I was in the house I didn't worry about how much noise I might make as I rummaged through my bag that I left beside the back door.

Dean was still sprawled out over my living room couch as if he didn't have a care in the world when I entered the room, so I tried my damnedest not to show him my unease. When I finally saw him in the flesh again my breath caught in my throat but I still managed to remain upright with an unimpressed neutral look on my face as I continued to approach him.

"Here take this," I stated flatly as I placed the knife on the coffee table in front of him. "There's no need for any of that other stuff because this will cover all the bases for us."

I jutted my chin towards the knife to drive home my point and Dean's eyes became laser focused on it instead of me. What he didn't know was that the handle of the knife was made of pure iron so if he was a demon that had managed to make it past my safe guards then its hand would start smoking the instant it wrapped its paw around the handle.

Dean leaned over and picked up the knife without any repercussions so I forced myself not to react as well. He may have stolen a glance at my face but I didn't notice it because my eyes remained trained solely on the knife.

I know that one cut would prove his humanity to me, so I tried to mentally prepare myself. In case the silver sliced through his skin without reacting and he bled red instead of black goo like a Leviathan, I kept my eyes on the blade in order to avoid making eye contact with him. Dean wanted to mock me for the blank look that had made its home on my face, but he kept it to himself as he pulled his left sleeve back to show a few score marks on his forearm before creating another one for my benefit.

His skin and blood proved that he was human and I almost wanted to take the blade from him and plunge it into his heart for the pain he had caused me. Instead I let him just drop it on the table top saying, "So that proved that I was human? How can you be sure Adelaide?"

I grit my teeth at hearing him use my proper name (even if it was with a humorous tone) and then I snatched the knife off the coffee table snapping, "The hand is iron…" I held it up dramatically. "So I'm not possessed by a spirit or a demon." Before Dean could say anything else, I trust my left arm forward and sliced a painful diagonal line across my forearm. "Red… Still fucking bleeding red and OH! Check that out… My silver blade didn't react to either of us at all, so I guess that means we're both human…" As I gripped my forearm with my right hand I snidely said, "So there… We're both still us… Why are you here Dean?"

"Add… Lay," he started almost repentantly as I noticed that my arm was bleeding worse than I had predicted it would to prove to him I was human.

When I saw the rapid rate of the blood flowing between my fingers I abandoned any of the other snide, cutting remarks I had come up with and ran to the main floor bathroom. As I cleaned the wound I cursed my stupidity because not only was the cut longer than I had intended to cut myself, it was much deeper as well. I hated to admit it to myself but this new wound was evidence that I had let my anger get the best of me. Then again it was probably better that I maimed myself instead of cutting Dean like had wanted to due to the rage that was building at seeing how casual he was being right now.

"Shit… You don't have to hit an artery to make the silver react," Dean chastised me with a nervous laugh like he had countless times in the past when he was with me when I had gotten hurt during a hunt.

While I dabbed my forearm with a towel to dry it before dressing the wound, Dean grabbed it in a two handed grasp so that he could inspect it. He barely had a chance to lift my forearm to his face before I snatched it back and took a large step away from him angrily retorting, "And I didn't this time either. It's fine."

"Lay I think you might need stitches," he said in a soft, careful voice.

"I said it's fine, so it's FINE," I replied sharply without sparing a look in his direction.

He opened his mouth to speak again, but he held his tongue when he saw me just working at taping the cut closed. My eyes stayed trained on my wound and miraculously my hands weren't shaking, so Dean hung his head shamefully then turned to leave without another word. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him turn on his heel so I lifted my eyes just enough to watch his back as he moved into the kitchen.

I tried my best to keep my attention focused solely on the task at hand, but I couldn't help but track the sounds of his boots on the floor as he moved around the kitchen. The sound of the fridge opening followed by glass bottles clanging together almost made me scoff out a sardonic laugh because of the familiarity of those actions, but my anger kept me from saying anything out loud. If Dean wanted to drink his pain away I was more than fine with that because all I wanted was to down a bottle or two of something strong to do the same.

Once my arm was properly taped and bandaged with gauze, I finally made my way into the kitchen. Despite my reservations I tried to look strong as I walked through the bathroom door and almost laughed when I found the kitchen empty. I walked towards the fridge, but stopped myself from opening the door once my palm touched the handle because if Dean and I were going to 'talk' then it would be best for me not to have anything resembling a weapon or something breakable in my hand.

When I finally made it to the living room I found Dean standing behind the couch pacing. I stood in the doorway just watching him because every so often he would pause and look at one spot on the floor close to the threshold. I could have sworn that I saw tears in his eyes so I directed my gaze to that spot as well to try to figure out why it would sadden him to the point of tears.

Suddenly it hit me… That's where Toby had found my body and Dean had tried to revive me after Crowley had shown up to claim my soul. I wrapped my arms around my midsection and winced a bit at the pain radiating up my left arm to keep myself from reaching out to Dean. I almost called out another apology to him for how horrific that day was, but then I reminded myself of what he had just done and a cruel smile spread across my face.

"Now you know how I feel." Dean turned to look at me but he didn't seem to understand what I meant by my previous statement. I crossed my arms over my chest as I leaned against the door jamb and then jutted my chin in the direction of the front door saying, "I wasn't sure how to describe how much it hurt when I found out from Sam that… Well you know, but now I think I have an acceptable comparison."

Dean once again just hung his head, but he didn't say anything. My smile grew wider as I happily took comfort in my anger right now. I took a step into the room but made sure to keep the couch between us as I said, "And you didn't answer my question… Why are you here Dean?"

"I… I wanted… No…" He raised his head and looked so genuinely sad that I almost let my rage seep out of me. "I needed to see Toby."

"HA… So you needed to see your offspring that doesn't want to kill you and eat you to make you a part of a ritual sacrifice to a Greek Goddess? Yeah that makes sense." I threw my arms out to gesture around the room aimlessly as I continued, "But as you can see he isn't here… So unless you're lost or are too dumb to remember where his house is, that doesn't answer my question."

Dean placed both of his hands on the back of the couch and looked like he was trying to gather some more strength to stand upright as he answered, "Yeah I remember… Sam's actually hanging out with him right now. I think he's enlisting Toby'd help to work on the numbers Bobby left us, so I asked Sam to drop me off here because I needed to talk to you."

Bringing up Bobby was a bit of a low blow and normally would have been the key to softening my heart, but today I wouldn't allow it. "Why? Why would we need to talk? You made your choice pretty crystal fucking clear, so there really isn't anything else for us to discuss."

"Lay," he pleaded as he slowly made his way around the couch. "I… I… I have no excuse for what I did… But I can tell you what I learned from making that stupid mistake."

I scoffed at his attempt at an apology, but didn't move to stop him when he raised a hand to pet the side of my face. His other hand came up so that he was gently holding my face while making painfully direct eye contact with me.

"You were right; I did need the time away to get my head on straight. I can't promise you that I've got it completely straight because I still need to figure out what Bobby told us so that I can find then kill Dick Roman…" He paused to capture a tear spilling down my cheek with a kiss. "But I can tell you now without a doubt that I know that I need you by my side too keep me from going completely overboard."

I shuddered out a breath, trying my hardest to keep it from becoming a sob with my eyes squeezed tight. I had already decided that I wasn't going to give into any of Dean's sweet talk this time, but having him this close to me made it nearly impossible to stay mad at him. A few more tears fell from my closed eyes and Dean took them as being a sign of remorse or forgiveness and leaned down to place a soft kiss on my lips.

Something inside of me shattered into tiny pieces because nothing else mattered except that this was Dean, Dean Winchester was kissing me. He was my first love and thanks to the intervention of angels he was slotted to remain the sole proprietor of my heart. My arms unfolded and fell to my sides as I leaned up into his kiss and let him deepen his embraces. He kept his hands on my cheeks to change the angle of my head while his mouth ravished mine.

He finally released my lips when his lungs started to burn from the lack of oxygen our kissing had caused. He was hyperventilating to get as much air as he could into his lungs. His hands slowly slid down my face to my neck and then to my shoulders before he let them fall away as he rested his forehead against mine. I wasn't sure if my voice would sound strong or not, so I remained silent until I could be sure because I didn't want there to be any doubt about what I meant when I told him what I was going to say.

Dean tilted his head so that he could kiss my forehead before he moved his face back a couple of inches to look me in the eye again. I kept my face as blank as possible while I watched him try to decide what he was going to say next.

He took a deep breath then close his eyes humming a familiar tune then half-spoke, half-sang, "Let me be the one you call… If you jump I'll break your fall…"

Because Dean kept his eyes closed he didn't see my right hand fly up above my head before it landed hard against his left cheek. After I slapped Dean as hard as I could, I noticed that he had a new amulet swinging around his neck from a black leather cord. The hit was actually harder than I had originally intended because the brutal impact of it was more than evident when he grabbed his cheek and twisted away from me while nearly doubling over in pain.

Maybe it was my overwhelming anger or maybe I just wanted to be cruel and vindictive but I waited until he was facing me straight on before I yanked the cord hard enough to rip it from his neck saying, "You don't get to wear this anymore… And that shit isn't going to work on me this time!"

Dean's eyes went wide for a second before he narrowed them to stare at my left hand. I knew that he wouldn't see what he was looking for so I stalked over to the liquor cabinet and snatched up a box off of its shelf. When I turned around to stomp back over to Dean I found that he had followed me when I walked away. I stood my ground and silently shoved the box into his chest with a bruising force, making sure one of its corners dug painfully into his chest.

He immediately wrapped his hand almost uncomfortably tight around mine and tried to force me to make some sort of meaningful eye contact. Once our gazes met I immediately diverted my eyes because I wasn't sure that I could hide the lingering pain that I could feel in my heart and soul. Dean maintained his hold on my hand and then he gave it a squeeze before taking the box and let my hand fall to my side. We both turned so our backs were facing each other and Dean quickly opened the box to double check that the box contained what he assumed it would.

"Just take it and go," I whispered to break the deafening silence.

Dean stared at my back then quietly pleaded, "Lay…"

I pivoted on my heel to face him, not really caring that I couldn't stop my tears from falling from my eyes as I repeated, "Just take it and go."

"But Lay I wanted…"

"No!" I yelled over his new plea. I took a couple of steps forward and shoved him towards the front door. "No! I don't give a fuck about anything you have to say. I don't care about what you do anymore! Just… Just get the fuck out of my house!"

Dean stumbled back a couple of steps with every shove I placed against his chest until his heels hit the edge of the mat by the door. I reached around him and pulled the door open in an undeniable invitation for him to leave but he remained frozen in his spot.

He opened his mouth to speak so I let out a wordless scream as I pushed him hard on the torso one last time. Dean almost landed on his ass on the front porch and I didn't wait to see if he found his footing before I slammed the door closed and locked it.

I rested my head against the door to brace myself for a new onslaught of tears that I could feel were going to overtake me when I heard a voice from the direction of the den behind me call out, "Adelaide? I'm sorry it took me so long to get here, but… Can I still be of help?"

A/N: Once again thank you for reading and sorry for the delay. This'll sound ridiculous but I was in a car accident where my truck was totalled so doing pretty much anything hurts with the bruising on my torso. I'm okay, I walked away and didn't mess up my concussion from the January attack, but it made this a slow go.