With the exception of the amount of people living in the Farron household, nothing had changed.
Lightning still slept in the same room she'd slept in since she was a child. She could have easily moved into her parent's master bedroom, but she hadn't done anything to their room since they died. She didn't need the space, and so it had gone unused and unchanged for years. Lightning couldn't remember the last time she had gone into the room to even dust it.
When Serah had been at school, and she had a few precious hours at home before going back to her work with the Sanctum, Lightning would come into the room and dust; sort of putter around, straightening pictures that never moved, smoothing bedspread that never rumpled.
Lovingly brushing the downy duster over frames and lamps and varnished wood, back then, it was her time alone and time to spend with her parents.
Recently, it had been way before Serah left with Snow that she'd last stepped foot into it.
Climbing the few stairs to the abandoned room, she placed her hand on the brass knob and drew a deep breath. Staring at her grip, she twisted her wrist and pushed gently.
Sun bright in her eyes, particles of fluff and dust stirred familiarly in the yellow light of the late morning.
Just how they'd left it.
And in that room, where she always stepped lightly to disturb no one, she was still Claire.
She recalled countless hours spent in the room with her mother; especially before Serah.
Sometimes they lounged in the room in the afternoon in the sunbeams that permeated the windows and warmed the bed. Claire would roll around like a cat in the sunshine, while her mother sat with a sketch pad and smudged, black fingertips, smiling as Claire settled in for a nap. There were other rooms in the house, but they didn't ever sit in any of those; her mother preferring the light in the only room facing the particular direction that turned golden in the afternoon.
Squinting against the bombardment of light, she glanced around.
If things hadn't changed back then...
If they hadn't died...
Squeezing the knob with her hand so hard it trembled, she bit back the tightness in her throat.
Then the jarring sound of her ring tone startled her, and she quickly shut the door to seal the light, the heavy smell of stagnation rushing past.
Calming her heart, she breathed deeply for a second before reaching in her pocket and pulling out the infernal piece of plastic.
It was Serah.
Putting some distance between herself and her parent's room, she didn't answer the call until she was well away from the room and the memories.
Her sister sounded so genuinely happy to talk to her that she didn't have the heart to give Serah trouble over the fact that she'd ended up talking to Snow last night. It had been an unwelcome surprise, but Lightning got her point across, instead, when she made it very clear that Serah should take care of herself and that Snow couldn't possibly be useful when it came to, well, anything. She'd not received the normal defensive response from Serah, which made Lightning a little suspicious, but instead of brow beating Serah for information, she let it go.
Apparently she'd find out soon enough what life was like for her little sister.
Serah had invited Lightning to come and stay at her place on Pulse for a little while; said she missed her older sis and they really needed to catch up.
There were things she wanted Lightning to see, and things she wanted them to talk about.
Lightning had rolled her eyes.
She could just imagine.
But if any of the topics had to do with Snow, she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear it.
She'd even opened her mouth to refuse the invitation, but found that the refusal simply didn't come, and all she could say was that she'd see if she could get the time off. A pointless comment, Lightning knew very well that Amodar would end up forcing her to take the time off; especially since there was a reason for it. Lightning Farron was the only officer that denied leave, and Amodar nearly begged her to take some days to herself, saying that he'd catch hell if she didn't follow orders and just go home.
She wasn't sure how much of that was true, but Amodar had done so much for her that she didn't want to cause him any trouble.
Even so, she wasn't looking forward to asking for time off.
But Lightning didn't like to deviate from her schedule and life of comfortable predictability. The only thing that was anywhere near unpredictable was what she had to deal with while at work, and that was more than enough excitement for her. Lately, even that had been too much, what with all the secrecy whirling around the Neo-Sanctum's activities on Pulse and Cocoon alike.
Life had taken too long to return to normal after the whole l'Cie mess, and that was all she had ever wanted; peace and quiet and for people to just leave her the hell alone.
You sure got that wish.
"Yeah, yeah. I'll see what I can do." she groused.
Serah sounded far too excited; that high pitched voice made Lightning's eye twitch.
Once off the phone, that excited squeal ringing in her ears had punctuated everything louder than the silence that weighed in the kitchen where she sat, staring at the sad, dead plant.
Of course Snow wasn't surprised when Serah arrived back at their home and brought Snow up to speed on her chat with Lightning. She hadn't been gone long, but Snow wasn't sure what to expect. It was obvious the older Farron wasn't much of a chatterbox; in fact, 'cold and severely unimpressed' had been the standard for all his interactions with her. He just hoped it was been different when it came to her only family.
"She said that work has been really busy and that she didn't get reception at the site they posted her group to, so that's why she wasn't able to answer any of my calls."
Snow snorted. Trying to hide his displeasure about the whole situation, he didn't stop to chat while unloading a pile of deck boards from the back of the construction trailer. "So will she be able to make it down?"
"I don't know for sure... but at least she said she'd see if she could get the time off work." finished Serah, obviously reaching for some enthusiasm.
There was a lot more he wanted to add to the conversation, but it was all unnecessary and would only serve to upset his delicate love. They'd discussed Lightning so much since leaving Cocoon that it was like beating a dead chocobo.
Serah insisted that he wasn't the cause of the rift between the Farron sisters, but Snow wasn't stupid. He knew two things: one – that he'd been a problem from day one, and two – he knew better than to badmouth Lightning to Serah. She and Serah were still very close in Serah's eyes, and he would have just made things harder for himself the next time they both did get along together...
There was no way he was getting caught up in that. Sometimes his jaw hurt just thinking about the repercussions, so he'd keep his mouth shut, and if he ever did have to say anything, he'd stay completely neutral. At least that way he might be able to keep his testicles in tact for later use.
"I don't know why she has to be so difficult all the time." Serah sighed, looking completely exhausted. "Her dislike of you really makes things hard, yknow?"
Snow stopped working and looked pointedly at Serah, mouth curved into a reminiscent frown.
He felt like an asshole. Here he was thinking about himself when Serah was obviously struggling. It didn't matter how many times they talked about this very topic, he should at least show the right level of compassion no matter how much personal displeasure he suffered. Cosmetically speaking, Lightning and Serah's familial relationship problems might have beenabout him, but at the core, he suspected it really had very little to do with him.
He jumped off the back of the trailer and hugged his little lady. "I'm sorry, Serah. I actually wish your sister didn't hate my guts."
"Me too." came the muffled response from within his embrace, her face hot against his chest.
It was true what he said, but for some reason that little voice from the woman he held stung. Serah had never admitted out loud what they both knew about Lightning's irritation with the burly blond, and he always knew it, but to hear it kind of hurt.
And it wasn't the first time he considered that maybe Serah would have been better off without him.
It was too late now, however.
Perhaps it was time to re-double his efforts to make his soon-to-be-bride – and mother of his child – happy. That was, afterall, what he was there for.
They stood there for a long moment under the afternoon sun, Snow's huge body eclipsing Serah's delicate frame. He needed to do more of that, he knew; more protecting, more touching, more reassuring. She needed everything he could give her. He may have felt like a failure inside, but she didn't need his own self-pity and self-doubt now.
He needed to her her Hero more than ever.
He might not have understood it when he felt Serah start to sob, the accompanying dampness of her tears soaking into the fabric of his t-shirt.
"I'm... sorry...Snow." she babbled nasally.
He hushed her, the empathetic smile on his face bringing forth a gentleness in his voice he was rarely afforded.
"You're such a silly girl. You have nothing to be sorry for."
A hand trailed down her lower back and he rubbed there for a short time, right where he knew their baby would be resting. He would have to try harder to not upset her; it wasn't good for a woman in her condition. The last thing he wanted was to screw something else up.
Because if anyone had anything to atone for, it was him.