Chapter 11

"How long have you known Effy?" Naomi asked.

"About two years," Emily replied. "I met her on the first day of college. We weren't really friends, though. Katie was doing everything to try to be friends with her—Effy was popular and that's what Katie wanted—but Effy didn't really have friends other than Panda."

Naomi laughed. "Panda?"

"Short for Pandora—yeah, her mum's a bit of a nutter," Emily explained. "She and Eff are complete opposites; I have no idea how they ever became friends."

"What changed?" Naomi asked. "You said you two weren't really friends, but now you're roommates."

"Freddie's death," Emily stated. "Katie and Eff had become friends a little bit before then, but his death changed everything for everyone. Effy spent a year fucking his best friend because she couldn't handle how she felt about him. I think it was the first time she loved anyone and then that happened. She went a bit—well, you can imagine. I think she didn't believe it a first, but once the police found his body, she had another breakdown. She didn't try to kill herself again, but I think most of that was because we didn't ever leave her alone. Me, Katie, and Panda made sure someone was always with her. She pretty much lived at our house over the summer, and somewhere along the way we became friends."

"Must be nice," Naomi said. "Having friends, that is—or at least ones you've known for a while. I was always a bit of a loner, I guess."

"You know, if you were a bit nicer to people, you'd have more friends," Emily joked; Naomi narrowed her eyes and Emily held up her hands. "I am just joking with you. It's what friends do—not that we're really friends, but you know."

"You're annoying," Naomi said, looking like she was trying not to smile.

Emily smiled. "So I've been told."

Two guys came by, both talking rather loudly, and sat down several yards away. Emily rolled her eyes, wondering why they couldn't have found a different spot, and then looked at Naomi, who was scowling in their direction.

"Want to go someplace else?" Emily asked.

Naomi nodded and stood up, grabbing her stuff, so Emily did the same. As they walked by, Emily heard the blonde mumble "tosser" and she smiled, shaking her head. It was actually kind of funny being around the other girl when her hostility wasn't directed toward her.

"Maybe we should go to the top of the stacks," Emily suggested, hitting the 'up' button for the elevator.

"As long as there aren't loud wankers up there, too," Naomi said loud enough for the guys to hear.

The door dinged open and the two stepped on; once she slid the gate in place, Emily hit the button for the fifth floor and the doors closed. The elevator was incredibly old and she felt a little claustrophobic as the thing ascended. It was an unbelievably slow ride and right before the finally hit the fifth floor, the lights flickered out and the elevator came to a rough stop.

"What just happened?" Emily asked as the emergency light came on.

Naomi hit the buttons a few times, but nothing happened. "This is fucking wonderful."

"Did the power just go out," Emily asked as she pulled out her phone and sent a text to Effy.

"Obviously," Naomi said, rolling her eyes.

"You don't have to be a bitch about it," Emily replied. "I was just asking."

"You know, why don't you just—"

"Can we not do this?" Emily asked, sighing.

Naomi huffed, dropped her bag to the floor, and sat down. Emily did the same, sitting next to the blonde, and tried to ignore the glare Naomi shot her. Her phone buzzed in her hand a few moments later and she looked at the text from Effy.

"Great," Emily said. "Eff says all of campus is out."

"Guess that means we're stuck for a while," Naomi commented.

"Yeah," Emily replied. "Is this a good time to mention that I'm not really fond of enclosed spaces?"

"You're not going to freak out and try to claw through the floor, are you?" Naomi asked.

Emily laughed lightly. "No."

They fell silent and Emily looked around, but there wasn't much to look at, so she found herself studying Naomi. The blonde had her head against the wall and her eyes closed; she normally had a scowl on her face or at least a brooding look, but she actually looked peaceful at the moment. It was in that moment that she realized Effy was right—Naomi was gorgeous.

"Why are you staring at me?" Naomi asked, her eyes still shut.

"I wasn't," Emily lied as she looked away.

"I could feel it," Naomi replied.

"What were you like in college?" Emily asked.

"You're changing the subject," Naomi said.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I don't want to know the answer," Emily replied.

Naomi sighed as she opened her eyes. "Not much different than I am now. I went to school with a bunch of assholes, so I didn't really have any friends. I kept mostly to myself and counted down the days until I got out of that shithole."

"Weren't you lonely?" Emily asked.

Naomi shrugged. "I'm used to it and prefer it."

Emily frowned. "Why?"

"Because as a general rule, people are shit," Naomi answered. "They either just want to use you and leave or make judgments about you before they even know you."

"Not everyone does that," Emily replied.

"No?" Naomi asked.

"No—I don't," Emily said, frowning.

"What, are you saying you want to be my friend?" Naomi asked with her eyebrow raised.

"Not exactly," Emily replied.

"Then what?" Naomi asked, staring at her with those piercing eyes.

Emily sighed. "I-I don't know. I'm just saying not everyone is like that; there are some people you can trust—some people that aren't going to leave you."

"Whatever," Naomi said, not looking very convinced.

"I'm serious," Emily insisted. "Look at Eff. She was just like you, but when she really needed us, we were all there for her. She even tried to push us away, but we wouldn't let her. That's what friends do; you should really give people a chance and not assume the worst before you even get to know them. I mean, isn't that what you said about people—they judge you before they know you? But you're doing the same thing. You're afraid someone is going to let you down, so you stop it before it starts, and you don't give them the chance disappoint you."

"What's wrong with that?" Naomi asked. "Who wants to be fucked over?"

Emily shook her head. "No one, but you can't shut out everyone because of it."

Naomi opened her mouth, closed it, and then finally opened it again to say, "I don't know if know how to let anyone in."

Emily was surprised by the admission; she fully expected some caustic or sarcastic remark from the blonde. It made her sad to hear Naomi said it, though.

"I think you're already learning," Emily softly said.

"Maybe," Naomi whispered.

Naomi looked at her, giving her a small smile, and Emily was pretty sure it was the first time the blonde had ever smiled at her. Before she even realized what she was doing, she leaned over and brought their lips together. The kiss was very stilted at first, but then Naomi's lips moved against her. Emily brought her hand up to the blonde's cheek, but suddenly Naomi pulled away and Emily's eyes flew open.

"I—"

The lights came on and the elevator shuddered to life, going up the last few feet and dinging. Emily grabbed her stuff from the floor and jumped up.

"I'm sorry," she said as she pulled the gate open.

She didn't wait for a response from Naomi; instead, she quickly walked to the stairs and jogged to the bottom of the stacks. Her pace didn't slow as she walked to the ground floor, her only thought being to get out of the library and away from Naomi, who was probably going to kill her the next time they were in the same room together.

"It's her," Emily said, slamming the door behind her.

"Excuse me?" Effy asked.

"It's—is Katie here?" Emily asked, looking toward the back room.

"She left after you and hasn't come back," Effy replied.

"I kissed someone at that Halloween party," Emily stated.

"The girl you were dancing with," Effy said.

"The girl I was dancing with," Emily confirmed. "When I went back, I hadn't forgotten my bag; I went back and I kissed her, and it was everything you should feel from a kiss, but I didn't know what it was and didn't think I would ever find out. It was Naomi; I kissed Naomi at the party and I kissed her again tonight. It's how I knew—I felt the exact same thing and I just knew."

Effy looked amused. "You kissed Naomi."

"Yes," Emily said, sighing. "What the hell was I thinking? She hates me and I just kissed her."

"Well, what did she say?" Effy asked.

"Nothing," Emily replied. "The lights came on, the elevator opened, and I left."

"I didn't take you for a coward," Effy commented.

"I'm not," Emily said, frowning.

"You kissed her and then you ran," Effy said, staring at her

"I didn't want her to—" Emily shook her head. "We were finally getting along and then I had to fuck it up. What is wrong with me?"

"You like her," Effy stated.

Emily laughed. "I don't."

"You do," Effy replied. "Why would you've kissed her if you didn't?"

"Okay, even if I did—which I'm not saying I do—Naomi hates me," Emily said. "We may be getting along a little better, but I don't think the fact that she hates me has changed, and it's definitely not going to after this."

"Did she know it was you?" Effy asked.

"What?" Emily asked back.

"At the party," Effy clarified. "Did she know it was you."

"I didn't know," Emily said, looking away. "I doubt it; we were both in masks and wigs." Emily put her face in her hands and groaned. "She's going to kill me tomorrow."

"She isn't going to kill you," Effy replied. "Too many witnesses."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Thanks, Eff, that makes me feel loads better."

"I'm just saying she seems like a smart girl and it would be stupid to kill you in front of dozens of people," Effy said, shrugging. "Slap you, maybe, but not kill you."

"You're not helping," Emily said, shaking her head.

Effy smirked. "Who says I'm trying to."

Emily groaned and flopped onto the couch. "I've just done something really fucking stupid and I would like my best friend to be serious for a moment."

"I was being serious," Effy replied.

"Then be more helpful," Emily stated.

"Look, if she already hates you, there really isn't anything beyond hate, so you're really where you've always been," Effy said, looking at her. "And if you—as you say—don't like her, what does it matter if she hates you? You two aren't friends and you don't want to be, right?"

"I don't know," Emily admitted. "She's a bitch and condescending and thinks she's better than everyone else, but—" Emily sighed. "I don't know."

"You like her," Effy repeated.

"As cliché as it is, when I kissed her, I felt fireworks," Emily said, covering her face.

The front door flew open followed by Katie saying, "I just met this really fit guy in the dining hall. I tripped over his foot because of the damn power going out, but he totally caught me."

"Oh?" Effy said, not really sounding all that interested.

"Yeah and he asked if I wanted to get a drink, so we're going as soon as I find something to wear," Katie said, breezing past them.

"Why do you need to change?" Emily asked.

"Like I'm going to wear this on a date," Katie called over her shoulder.

"Want to watch a movie?" Emily asked, knowing they wouldn't be able to continue their conversation with Katie in the other room.

Effy shrugged. "If you want."

"Any preferences?" Emily asked as she stood up, hoping a movie would take her mind off Naomi, even if it was only for a few moments.