Oh What the Hell:

My jaw remained clenched shut and in a tight line as I stared at the wall across from me in an effort not to catch anyone's eyes as they passed by me. I tried to shift in my seat and momentarily forgot that my left wrist was hand cuffed to the arm of the wooden bench causing the metal to rattle against the wood loudly. The Deputy assigned to front desk duties for the shift, who was also tasked with keeping an eye on me snorted out a laugh, but didn't comment out loud about my clumsiness.

"Offer still stands Miss Jones, you answer the question and that'll come off," a voice called out from deeper inside the office.

I just continued to stare at the same spot on the wall and ignored his comment. There was no clock on the wall, so I wasn't certain how much time had actually passed, but the same Deputy made the same offer in what I estimated to be every five minutes. The sun was lower in the sky so I was sure that a change of shift was coming up and I took some measure of satisfaction in my ability to hold out and not utter a single word for this long. But I was still annoyed with myself for getting caught that I wouldn't allow myself to revel in my feat for very long.

While I kept my eyes trained on the wall, my field of vision was suddenly filled with a chest covered in light brown polyester. The Deputy crossed his arms over his chest in what I could only assume was an attempt to intimidate me, but I just refocused my stare on the hairs of his arms to avoid making eye contact. My lips nearly quirked into a petulant smirk when I heard him tapping his right foot impatiently, but I forced myself not to react. If he thought that the foot tapping would push me over the edge and crack, the Deputy had another thing coming. I had out-stubborned hunters like John Winchester, so maintaining my silence with a small town Sheriff's Deputy really wasn't that much of a challenge for me.

The annoyed tapping only stopped when he squatted down in front of me to finally force me to make eye contact with him. I again had to force myself not to react when he lost his balance slightly and had to grip the edge of the bench on either side of my legs to steady himself in current stance.

He quirked an eyebrow then smirked saying, "Still not talking, huh? You know it really isn't that hard of a question to answer. Just tell me why and I'll happily unlock that pretty bracelet on your wrist."

Yeah and then I'll also get free room and board for the night too in a cell, right Deputy? I thought to myself while I begrudgingly maintained eye contact with him.

I couldn't help but flinch somewhat when he ran his finger over a line of stitches on my jaw while observing out loud, "That's a pretty nasty cut. You must be some kind of a hard-nosed bitch, eh?"

"Kind of have to be to survive the job, don't you think Deputy?" A deep, amused voice questioned behind the squatting officer.

The Deputy was so startled by the newcomer's voice that he stumbled and fell flat on his behind in front of me. I couldn't help myself and I finally did sputter out a quiet chuckle and grinned softly. The Deputy ignored my laughter and just looked up at the Sheriff and a male dress in jeans, a t-shirt and a bomber style jacket apologetically. The Sheriff shook his head with a half-grin spreading across his face as he offered the officer his hand to help him back to his feet.

I chuckled again when I noticed a dark pink blush spreading from his cheeks to his neck. I quickly fell silent when I heard the familiar sound of a throat being cleared as a warning. The three of them were now standing in front of me so I fixed my gaze on my lap trying not to look as uneasy as I felt right now.

"Deputy Nolan this is Special Agent Morrison," the Sheriff said as if the Deputy's comedic tumble had never occurred. "He believes that he can help to clear up the 'situation'." I didn't have to look up to know that he had motioned to me with his chin at the end of the statement.

The Deputy opened his mouth to comment, but he was cut off by John Winchester saying, "But first things first, how 'bout we get those cuffs off the young lady?"

My head shot up to catch the Deputy's mouth hanging open in shock before he muttered out a confused, "Sir?"

The Sheriff nodded as he replied, "It's fine Deputy. Like I said, he's going to help us clear everything up."

"But sir…" The younger male tried to protest once again.

"If it's too much trouble for you, I would be more than happy to unlock them," John offered sounding annoyed.

The Deputy shook his head repentantly replying, "No sir, it's no trouble at all. I… I'll do it sir."

I felt a little bit bad for the officer because I knew what it felt like to be on the receiving end of John's disapproving glare. His hands were actually trembling while he unlocked the cuff on my wrist, so I just slid down the bench without uttering a word so that he could access the other cuff with more ease. He kept his head down to unlatch the other cuff from the bench's arm. When he was done, he kept his head tilted down and his eyes on his hands that were fidgeting with the handcuffs and his keys.

"Miss Jones? Deputy Nolan? Why don't you follow me and Special Agent Morrison to my office?" The Sheriff asked offering me a hand to help me up.

I didn't really need the help but I still took his hand to help me in order to be polite. The Deputy rushed towards a door marked 'SHERIFF' and his supervisor followed closely in his wake which left John and I alone in the empty hallway. He stepped close to my side and placed a firm hand on the small of my back to make sure that I couldn't shrink away from him.

To an outside observer it would have looked like John was having a private conversation with me when he leaned down and nearly growled, "You gave them your real name? What were you thinking Addy?"

I bit my lip then twisted out of his hold and rushed into the Sheriff's office. He was seated comfortably behind his desk while the Deputy was pacing by a window on the right hand side of the room. Deputy Nolan paused mid-sentence when I entered the room and threw me an angry glare before walking over to one side of the Sheriff's desk. His scowl deepened when he reached his destination where he then stood with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Miss Jones, please take a seat," the Sheriff offered politely as he waved his hand at the two chairs in front of his desk.

I locked eyes with the Deputy and defiantly took the seat closest to him. John plunked himself down into the chair beside me and he somehow made that movement sound annoyed. The Sheriff watched us all settle in his office with an amused grin on his face that he tried to hide behind his tented fingers that were supported by his elbows resting on his chair's arm rests.

"Alright Special Agent Morrison, you were telling me a little bit about what was happening with Miss Jones here, so I'll give you the floor first," the Sheriff said as he relaxed back in his chair.

"Thank you Sheriff Hale. So what I was telling you earlier is that Miss Jones is an Agent in training and she's been on probation for a risky incident that happened a couple of weeks ago," John explained as he gripped my chin to turn my face so that my stitches were visible to the man behind the desk. "I wish I could say that the other guy looked worse for wear by her hand, but she was bleeding so badly that another Agent had to step in to make the actual arrest." When he let go of my face I scoffed softly to which John's lips quirked into a satisfied smirk while he stole a look at me out the corner of his eye.

"Okay so she thinks that she's Gracie Hart… What does that have to do with her traipsing around my crime scene without authorization?" Deputy Nolan asked without trying to hide his impatience in any way.

I almost felt bad for the young officer because his minor outburst earned him John's full, unimpressed attention. I worried my bottom lip with my teeth to keep from smiling too wide while I fixed my eyes on the pens laying haphazardly on the desktop in front of me to try to keep myself from laughing out loud. John's anger at being interrupted must have been burning brightly in his eyes because I could hear the Deputy squirming in his spot while I kept my attention focused on a chip in the wood on the corner of the desk.

"And it appears that she isn't the only one prone to jump the gun," John answered with an audible bite. He then focused his attention on the Sheriff before continuing in a more civil tone, "She's been told that she has to impress me if she ever hopes to finish her probation, so I tried to throw her a bone. Earlier today I called to ask her to meet me there as soon as humanly possible and… Well we all know what happened from there."

"Well I can definitely sympathize with you about how frustrating it can be to try to tame an overzealous rookie, but…" The Sheriff sat up straight in his seat and lost off of the good-natured humor that had previously been in his eyes. "That doesn't explain why Miss Jones wasn't able to present proper credentials to Deputy Nolan. The only form of identification that my Deputy found on her person was an Iowa driver's license. Why didn't she have anything remotely close to a piece of Federal Identification with her today?"

John let a couple of seconds of silence tick by to make sure that he wouldn't be interrupting in case the Sheriff had any other questions that he wanted to ask. "Well," John started nonchalantly as he reached into his coat pocket to pull out a badge holder. "I've been holding onto her Federal Bureau ID in what appears to be a failed attempt to restrict her movements. I was hoping that by holding onto this that she would wait for me before entering anymore crime scenes so that I could shadow her." He gave me a sideways glance as he added, "I see that I was wrong about that and might need to come up with another solution."

I held my breath when he flipped the holder open to show the Sheriff the ID with my face on it because I know that it would have one of my aliases on it and not my birth name. How John got his hands on it was beyond me because I had forgotten to take it into the crime scene with me, but then I reminded myself that he was John Winchester. He thrived on showing up any other hunter and rarely shared the secrets to his success with anyone. Hell since this WAS John Winchester that was holding the ID that had been safely locked away in the glove box of my GTO, I wouldn't put it past him to have copied a key to my car without my knowledge, so I inwardly pouted and slumped down further in my seat. If someone had of said that I looked like a teenager in a disciplinary meeting with her high school principal and father, I would have been hard pressed to argue that that analogy wasn't true or valid.

The Sheriff let out a quick bark of a laugh as he said, "That… Wow. I've never thought of taking such a parental approach with my delinquent recruits." He seemed to catch himself as he cleared his throat loudly to compose himself. When he had once again found his sober center he said, "Alright that does make sense, but that doesn't explain why Miss Jones was carrying a non-regulation firearm without a proper holster when she was snooping around the murder scene."

John pointedly replaced my ID in his jacket pocket as he replied, "Well to be honest Sheriff I have no valid excuse for that kind of sloppy behavior, so I'll have to give Adelaide the floor to justify those oversights to you."

I sat up straight as my head whipped around so that I could gape at John because he had used my full first name. Much like my Mum, John had only called me 'Adelaide' when he was going to punish me or was beyond annoyed with my behavior in some way. He didn't move or even try to make any sort of eye contact with me, but I did see the corner of his lips pull back into a smug smile. The moment I saw that muscle twitch, I knew that he had left this explanation up to me because John thought that I couldn't come up with a convincing lie to answer the Sheriff's question.

With my shoulders set back, I turned to face the Sheriff as I tried to sound as confident as possible when I said, "Well Sheriff Hale… In all honesty, it was a careless mistake of mine. I was so preoccupied with getting to the scene to impress my SENIOR training officer that I left my Government issue pistol in the lock box of my trunk and grabbed my personal firearm… It's kind of like a safety blanket for me, you know? And as for me not wearing a proper holster…" I forced myself to blush as I coyly cast my eyes to the floor before adding, "Well I didn't expect Agent Morrison to call on me so soon to be his back up… Since I've been such a colossal screw up in the field and all… So it's sitting in my hotel room right now sir. I'm sorry that I forgot to grab it."

Deputy Nolan snorted out an indignant laugh then said under his breath, "Now she speaks."

The Sheriff threw the Deputy a disapproving look but when he turned to face John and me his look was nothing but professional and authoritative. "Although my Deputy may have spoken out of turn, he does make a good point. As soon as Deputy Nolan detained Miss Jones, she's been quieter than a monk at mass. Why didn't she…?" His eyes focused solely on my face as he asked, "I mean, why didn't you just explain all of this to the Deputy before now?"

"Oh… I… Uhh…" I stumbled over my words to come up with a convincing reason.

I hated to admit this but thankfully John jumped in with an easy Southern drawl saying, "Well she had the right to remain silent, correct?" He looked between the two locals before focusing his attention on the Deputy asking in a contemplative tone, "If you were under the microscope and about to lose your job and were told that you were allowed to keep that to yourself, would you be blabbing the truth to everyone?" The Sheriff grinned but the Deputy maintained his resentful air, so John added, "Plus that seems to be the only area where Addy has excelled in up to this point. We might be shipping her overseas soon to test how well she deals under pressure over there because…" John actually reached over to give my arm a reassuring squeeze. "So far she's been the best recruit from her class when it comes to not succumbing under the stress of harsh interrogation."

I kept my eyes fixed on my lap and earnestly blushed as I hoarsely said, "Thanks… Sir."

John quickly gave my arm one last encouraging squeeze before he added, "Plus she was just doing what she was taught… You know 'shut the fuck up and wait for your training officer'? I can't fault her for that Sheriff Hale, but then again… If either of you want to question her further, I won't prevent you from doing that."

Although Deputy Nolan made a sound that gave me the impression that he did want to interrogate me for as long as he could, Sheriff Hale quickly answered, "No that's alright Special Agent Morrison. The answers you provided have more than satisfied my curiosity, but…" He fixed his gaze on me as he finished, "I'm not a fan of rule breakers in any form, so I think it would be best for our department to take over the investigation from here on out. If we require Federal assistance then hopefully we can have another team come in to help us."

John nodded as he stood up and yanked me up to my feet saying, "That sounds fair to me Sheriff. You have my card if I… If we can answer any other questions that may come up. And I've already contacted the local office to request that replacements be sent… They should arrive in the morning."

The Sheriff stood to reach over his desk to shake John's hand replying, "That sounds reasonable." He then turned his attention to me and shook my hand. "And Miss Jones, I sincerely hope that you have learned your lesson from this incident and will come out a better Agent because of it."

He squeezed my hand as I quietly answered, "Yes sir, I promise I will… I mean I have and it will."

Deputy Nolan opened his mouth but before he could speak Sheriff Hale said, "Deputy I believe you have a report to write up… Why don't you go and get started on that while I show our guests out?"

I kept my eyes cast down to look at the Sheriff's desk so I missed the anger that flashed over the Deputy's face as he replied through clenched teeth, "Yes sir, I'll get right on that."

After the Deputy had stormed out of the room, John gripped my forearm tightly to lead me out saying, "It's alright Sheriff we can see ourselves out so that you can continue on with your day."

"Alright," the Sheriff replied as he sat down behind his desk again. John and I were nearly out the door when the Sheriff called out, "And best of luck to you Agent Morrison."

John chuckled at the humorous tone that the Sheriff had used but once we were outside of the station, he completely lost any of his own humor. His grip tightened around my arm when I tried to twist out of his hold. We weren't far enough away from the prying eyes of the local Sheriff's Department for me to try to struggle out of his hold in earnest, so I was forced to fall into step with him to keep from creating a scene.

"You're hurting my arm," I finally said just over a whisper.

I didn't really think that that would work, but miraculously John did loosen his grip. He of course didn't completely let go of me, so I let him think that I was alright with him continuing to lead me down the path. After a couple more steps I quickly jerked my arm back and out of his hold. John froze in his spot to watch me as I tried to put as much space between us as quickly as my feet would take me.

"So are you planning on walking back to your car?" John called out from his spot once I was about ten feet ahead of him.

I quickly turned on my heel to face him and I could have sworn that he was still talking, but it was too low for me to hear from this distance. Even though I couldn't hear him, I could see the satisfied smile on his face. He remained cemented in his spot with his arms crossed over his chest and I was more than tempted to do the same. As I raised my arms to mirror his stance, I realized how tired I suddenly felt. I wasn't really in the mood to have yet another silent standoff with someone, so I let out a loud sigh before calmly walking back to where John was still standing.

"I figured that they would have towed it, so I was just going to call a cab," I replied once I was close enough to him that he could hear me without having to yell.

He shook his head saying, "They didn't know that it was your car so it's still where you parked it. How do you think I got your badge so easily?"

"Oh… That reminds me…" I moved as fast as I could to reach into John's pocket to grab my badge and nearly got out of his reach when he grabbed my arm again.

He expected me to struggle against him, so I completely relaxed in his grasp. I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes, but did heave a heavy sigh as I said, "Seriously John?" I looked down at where his fingers were once again digging into my flesh. "I really don't need any help acquiring more bruises on my body thanks."

"Yeah well my truck's this way, so come on," he replied dryly as he tugged my arm to lead me to a walkway to his left.

I sighed and hung my head as I followed him. His grip loosened slightly until he thought he felt that I was going to try to escape his hold. This time when he squeezed my arm I winced from the pain and quickened my steps in an effort to do anything I could to try to appease him. At his truck he opened my door and then even locked it once I was inside and he had the door closed again.

"Fucking unbelievable," I muttered under my breath hoping John wouldn't hear me.

He slammed his door so hard that the truck shook before he snarled, "That's right it IS unbelievable how ungrateful you are."

"What?" I questioned as I turned to face him.

He just turned his eyes to look at me quickly before focusing on the road again as he responded, "What? I help get your ass out of the hot seat and what do I get in return? A thank you? The tiniest hint of gratitude? No… All I get is attitude."

"Well I didn't want, need or ask for your help, so…"

John laughed loudly then spoke over me, "Yeah you chained to a bench while they were trying to decide which charges to lay… Yeah you looked like you had everything completely under control there little girl."

"Well shows how much you know because I had a plan… I was… I just had to wait for shift change so that I could put it into action."

"Really? Huh… Let me guess… You were going to slip the cuffs when no one was looking?" The tone he was using was so cruel and condescending that I actually slumped down in my seat and felt tears well up in my eyes. "Yeah that could have worked if they didn't have your real name and date of birth to put a warrant out for your arrest. Jesus Addy! What the hell were you thinking?"

"They were supposed to be finished with the house," I replied through a whisper.

"I'm sorry was I supposed to be able to hear that?"

I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes as I said, "The police were supposed to have been finished at the house. I wasn't sure if this really was a job or not, so I wanted to check out the crime scene to find out for sure. No one should have been there."

"And what did you find out…? Or did the Deputy arrest you before you could find out anything of value?"

I started rubbing my temples because I could feel a raging, 'John Winchester' sized headache coming on. Four years… I thought to myself. You've been able to dodge him for four fucking years. Well, at least it's good to know that some things don't change… As annoying as they are.

"The whole house was clean. Best I could tell is that it was just a horrible tragedy of the 'human's suck' variety… And I was actually on my way out when Nolan caught me," I finally answered while forcing my tone to remain civil.

"That's what I found out too," John agreed as he pulled in behind my car.

He parked his truck and cut the engine without commenting further about my being detained by the local authorities. We both remained frozen in our seats just staring at the back of my car through the windshield. I wanted nothing more than to be in the sanctuary of my GTO right now, but I was afraid to move without John's permission. I instantly mentally kicked myself for even acknowledging that that was how I felt, but I still did nothing to change my position.

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes and I jumped when John finally said, "You've put on some muscle in the last four years."

"Yeah," I replied somewhat dumbly.

"And you've been taking good care of your car too I see."

I turned my head to look at John because I couldn't believe that he was actually trying to make small talk with me. Normally the only topic that John and I discussed was hunting (or the odd update I gave him about Toby), so his bringing up such mundane topics really did throw me off for a minute or two.

By turning my head I made my stitches visible to John and he immediately cupped my chin gently in his hand. He ran his thumb over my wound and kept his voice surprisingly soft as he said, "Dare I ask what caused this?"

"A machete," I answered quietly. "The vampire I was hunting turned out to know a thing or two about hand to hand combat. He was more of a handful than we thought he would be."

He hummed out a thoughtful noise as he slowed the movement of his thumb across my jawbone as he asked, "So you got twelve stitches and he go…?"

"Decapitated," I answered as quickly as I could. John didn't seem like he had any plans to move his hand, so I gently pried it from my chin. "And it's actually fifteen stitches. I lucked out and there was a plastic surgeon working at the hospital that night. He said that by using more, smaller stitches that it would cut down on the amount of scarring, especially on my pre-… Uhh… My face."

"So he didn't want to scar your pretty face any more than he had to, huh?" John clarified with a playful edge to his voice.

"No sir, he didn't," I whispered with my head bowed.

I sat hunched over with my hands folded in my lap when I heard John sigh softly. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his hand move to reach out to me, but he let it drop to the seat before he could actually touch me. I scowled at my lap trying to figure out what could have caused this shift in John's demeanor. He was disappointed in my behavior, that much had been more than apparent earlier tonight and yet he wasn't screaming at me right now.

"Thanks," I finally whispered towards my lap. I shook my head and silently scolded myself for my cowardice. I forced myself to sit up straight so that I could more clearly state, "Thank you for saving my ass back there. I'd probably be sitting in a holding cell right now if it wasn't for you. I really do appreciate your help John."

He smiled then petted my eyebrow that had sported a nasty cut on it the last time he saw me. "I meant it when I told you that I'd be watching out for you Addy and I will… Even if you keep avoiding me like you have these last few years."

"John…" I nearly pleaded tearfully. "I… I haven't… Not really…"

"Hey, it's okay Addy. I told you we'd talk when you were ready and I get it… You aren't ready yet," he replied still petting my eyebrow. "But it's good to see that you're looking well. And that you're in even better shape than the last time we spoke face to face."

"Thanks. You're looking… Oh… Geez that sounds awkward," I said with a nervous laugh. "It's good to see you alive and well too."

John actually cracked a warm smile as he sat back in his seat. "Make sure you don't lose my number, okay? If you need me, you can call, understood?"

I paused before opening the door and looked over at John with tears in my eyes. "Oh…? Okay… I'll… I'll do that. And sa-… Umm… Okay."

I quickly slipped out of the truck as John turned the engine over. I lingered on my feet with the door wide open until John turned to give me a questioning look.

"So John…? I… Uhh… Back at my room I have a bottle of Glenlivet that I've been wanting to crack open," I said in a shy, unsure tone. "I mean if you aren't rushing out to another job or following up on a lead or…"

As I trailed off he smiled softly then said, "I'll follow you to your room."

I watched John park his truck before I got out of my own car to wait for him. I had some issues with finding my room key in my pocket because my hands were shaking so violently. To say that I was nervous was an understatement because I had no idea where to start this story or rather how to properly word the apology I owed him. Or if I was even ready to finally tell someone about what had happened between Sydney and me since I hadn't talked with anyone about it yet. I had pretty much moved in with the Connors, but there was this weird understanding between the three of us that the incident and Sydney's name would remain unspoken when we were together.

Addy! Stop that! I berated myself while I continued to struggle with the key in the lock because my hands were shaking so hard. God you're acting like a freaked out virgin on Prom Night. I stole a glance at John's approaching figure then groaned out loud. Great! As if this wasn't awkward enough, now you get THAT image in your head! John and… *shudder* Sex? Addy….

By the time John made it to my side I was actually laughing quietly to myself. Thankfully my embarrassment about thinking of John and sex at the same time had not only helped to quell my self-doubt, but it also set me completely at ease. I also now knew that I truly did want to tell John the truth. Not only had he saved my ass tonight, I sincerely did believe that he meant it when he said that he was watching out for me. He'd lived up to his promises thus far, so it only seemed right that I try to return the favor by being brutally honest with him.

We both remained oddly silent as we entered the room and I couldn't help but wonder if he had had the same inappropriate thought that had me giggle. John moved towards the small table and I nearly laughed at myself again because his face wasn't giving away his thoughts. Of course he wouldn't be transparent with me on this subject. He'd always played his cards close to his chest during conversations that were much more mundane than discussing the reason why I had pretty much cut him out of my life for the past four years and I didn't expect today to be any different.

I placed a half full glass of scotch in front of him and was stopped from walking away from him when he quickly encircled my wrist with his fingers. "You might as well just leave the bottle on the table Addy."

With a soft chuckle in my voice I looked him in the eye and replied, "I was planning on doing that, but I was going to grab us a couple of beers too." His eyes went wide with surprise, so I somewhat sadly explained, "Yeah… It's… It's that bad…"

John continued to sip at his drink while I placed the four beer bottles I had retrieved from the fridge on the table and settled in my seat. I slowly poured my own glass of scotch, but when I raised it to my lips I hesitated before actually taking a drink. My throat felt like it was closing up and my mouth went completely dry, so I forced myself to swallow a mouthful of liquid just to make sure that I could speak. John continued to watch me with a worried eye, but didn't say anything until I had raised my glass to my lips again.

"So that vampire kiss that was wiped out in Cincinnati? I assume you had a hand in that?" He asked with the barest hint of pride as he rubbed a hand over his jaw in the same spot I now had stitches.

I choked slightly on my scotch, so John popped the cap off a beer and handed it to me. I took a deep swallow of the beer to soothe my throat and then nodded as I quietly answered, "Yeah I did… Along with Gordon Walker… Well despite Gordon's protests I helped… And yeah that's how I got the cut on my face…"

John knocked his glass against my beer bottle praising, "I hear you handled yourself really well. Although I didn't hear about your jaw."

"I… I always try… Uhh… Thanks." I looked up at John with a confused frown as I idly scratched my stitches and asked, "People…? Umm… Other hunters talk about me?"

With a sly smile on his lips John answered, "Some do… Especially when the other asks about you."

It took me a few minutes to understand the meaning of John's statement. When it came clear I blushed and moved my eyes to watch my fingers picking at the beer bottle's label. "Oh… You mean… Oh…" I put down my beer in exchange for my glass of scotch and I finished that liquid in a couple of mouthfuls. "So…? My story… What…? Where'd I go wrong to make it so unbelievable?"

John nearly choked on his drink, but when he spoke you never would have known that he had faltered in any way. "There wasn't really anything wrong with the details in the story per se. And you stay consistent enough with them for someone to believe that it had happened to you, but…" He paused to pour both of us more scotch and took a couple of large gulps. I sat and watched him wanting so badly to urge him to finish his thought faster, but I held my tongue. John always did everything in his own time and any attempts to try to force him to do otherwise just caused him to delay even further. A soft smile started to spread across his face before he continued, "But the damage to your body didn't match."

"Match? But if someone was boot stomped in a bar's parking lot, wouldn't they have bruises all over their body like I did?" I asked in a meek, guilty voice.

"Yeah they would, but no you wouldn't," John clarified as he poured us each another glassful. I still didn't understand what he was trying to tell me and I couldn't yet blame it on the effects of the alcohol. John could tell that I wasn't catching onto his meaning, so he took the glass out of my hand saying, "Here let me show you what I mean. Go stand by the bed." I scowled at him in further confusion, so he stood up and tugged on my hand. "This will clear thing up. Now come on…"

I walked towards the bed and while my back was to him, John shoved me hard. After stumbling forward a couple of steps, I caught myself against the bed's mattress to keep myself from falling to the floor. I straightened myself up and turned to yell at John, but was silenced by the sight of a fist coming at my face. I managed to block the punch then dropped down and swiped John's feet out from under him. Once he was down on the floor I pounced on him. After a short struggle I had him pinned on the ground by sitting on his stomach with his hands cuffed at his sides.

I was still hyperventilating from the exertion it took to get John secured against the ground when I asked, "What…? The…? Fuck…? Was…? That…?"

John laughed loudly then replied, "Just trying to make my point." He tried to sit up, so I scooted back between his legs so that he could do so. "You're first instinct is to fight back… Hard… And to win."

I gaped at John once the meaning of his words came clear as I crawled backwards until my back hit the bed. All those years ago, that time when John had first seen my cuts and bruises, he had told me point blank that he knew I was lying. He had said it was because he could never see me letting a stranger hurt me so badly and now I knew why. He wasn't always forthcoming with compliments, but I couldn't help but take his explanation as his way of telling me that I was a good fighter which just made me feel even guiltier about not being completely truthful with him over the years.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and bit my trembling lip hard. I really didn't want to cry because Sydney didn't deserve my tears and I didn't want John to misinterpret my guilty tears for being tears of sorrow. He watched me with a considering gaze while I pulled myself into a tighter ball on the floor, but didn't move to speak.

"John…?" I finally squeaked out. "You're… You were right. It… It was someone I know… I'm… I'm so sorry that I lied to you about it."

"That's okay Kiddo," he replied as he helped me to my feet. "But why don't I pour us another round while you tell me all about the ex-boyfriend of yours?"

"Ex…?" I questioned while he sat me down in my chair.

He paused mid-pour then said, "Please don't tell me that you would stay with an asshole that would beat a woman that badly because I know you aren't…"

"Oh…! Oh God John, no… No there's no guy," I explained before I finished the liquid he had poured in two quick swallows. "Well no steady guy since… Umm…"

I started chugging my beer to cover up my embarrassment. John shook his head then said, "It's okay, I know who you mean Addy… So… How 'bout you get to telling me about the real culprit?"

After I finished my beer, I let out a quiet burp and almost apologized for putting a mildly disappointed look on his face. "Right… So anyway…"I started to run my fingers under my eye that Sydney had focused his rage on and I swore I could still feel the bruises that had plagued my life for months. "When I told him what had happened and how she saved my life, he just completely lost it. Things between us went from rocky to… Well I couldn't stay there anymore during my down time, so I decided to move in with the Connors." John listened intently with his eyebrows knitting together in an angry scowl with each word I spoke. I couldn't let myself chicken out so I picked up a full bottle of beer and opened it while I started pacing erratically around the room. "I think the big mistake I made was trying to talk with him instead of just packing up and leaving. He'd been drinking all day so by the time he saw me he was more than ready for a fight. Fuck… I'm such an idiot. I should have just left after he threw his empty bottle at me, but no… What did I do instead? I just egged him on… I… I pretty much fucking taunted him…"

I paused in my spot to take a long drink when I felt a firm hand grip my shoulder. John took my bottle out of my hand, placed it on the table behind him and then he clamped a hand down on each of my shoulders so that he could look me straight in the eye sternly stating, "Don't you dare blame yourself like that. He's your… There is no excuse that any man, let alone a father, can give for doing what he did to you."

"I know there isn't John, but…"

I winced when he dug his fingers into my shoulders. He didn't let up any pressure so I tried to just continue through the pain. "John I know it wasn't right, but he… He was so drunk that… Ow… At… Fuck… John, you're hurting me…" He finally eased off with a quick 'Sorry' before stepping away. I resisted the urge to rub my throbbing flesh, but I did swallow back the beer that he offered me. "Okay what I was saying," I explained to a now seated John who was nursing his drink once again. "At one point it was like the alcohol had blinded him to the fact that it was me on the floor. Now I'm not making excuses, but I swear he was yelling at the werewolf for killing Mum when he… He kicked me the hardest... I don't know, but there… That's the truth. Once I had an opening I took out his knee cap then took off to the Connors."

John shook his head then said practically to himself, "I still can't… He's worked jobs with me… And Dean… He didn't even flinch when I mentioned how bad you looked…"

"And that's why I didn't tell you," I explained as I took my seat again and held his hand tightly across the table top. "He really is a good hunter and he can still help a lot of people. What happened, it's… It between the two of us. Bill and Mo have put him on the 'persona no grata' list, but I… You… I just want him to still be able to help people when he can."

"I don't know how you can be so calm about this Addy. Don't you want to just skin him alive or something?" John replied sounding so bewildered that it almost physically hurt.

I divvied up the last of the scotch between his glass and mine as I said, "Well I wasn't for a while, but then I spent some time with Sister Mary Catherine. She's always been able to help me put things into perspective… When she was… Anyway I promised her that I would try to find some sort of middle ground with him or at least to make sure that I didn't go to my grave hating him, so I'm trying to fulfill that promise."

John snorted out a laugh then muttered, "Still sounds ridiculous to me."

I stood up quickly and rushed into the kitchenette area causing John to turn around in his chair calling out a worried, "Addy?"

"It still feels that way to me too sometimes John," I replied as I turned to present him another bottle of Glenlivet that I had pulled out of the cupboard. "So why don't we talk about something a little less 'unbelievable'? Like… Umm… I hear that you might have a lead on Samuel Colt's 'special' gun…"

John tore the seal off the new bottle of scotch then nearly glared at me replying, "One problem at a time Adelaide and I don't think that we've finished with yours quite yet."

I tried not to, but I couldn't help but giggle at that response. We ended up downing that bottle of liquor like it was water and we were travelers stuck in the Sahara, so it hit us hard. Since I had been travelling by myself for a few years, John and I ended up on the only bed in my room in a passed out, overly intoxicated mess.

I woke up a few hours later, feeling too hot for my clothing, to find John Winchester standing beside my bed, but I didn't pay him much mind. I continued to struggle out of my jeans and top and once I was in my bra and panties I tried once again to relax on the bed. The alcohol I had ingested made my coordination beyond embarrassing, so John finally stepped forward to settle me against the mattress before he tucked the covers in around me.

Despite John's parental approach to my being nearly naked, I reached around to the back of his neck to try to pull him close, sleepily pleading, "Stay John… Please?"

He didn't even laugh before standing up and soberly saying, "Be angry with me if you have to, but this is for the best… I'm going to do this to show that I am looking out for you."

"Here you go Miss. Please pay the cashier on your way out," the middle aged, female server told me as she placed my bill on the table.

"Thanks, I will," I replied shutting my laptop even though she was out of earshot.

Alright, I thought happily to myself. You continue to the next job and forget about De-… What's his name, even if you don't have anyone like John or Bobby to talk to about it… Oh and you pick Toby up some awesome Nikes while you're in Portland.